Gods of Shadow and Flame

by M. H. Johnson

  Gods of Shadow and Flame

  The Risen Queen - Book 7

  M H Johnson

  Copyright © 2018 by M H Johnson

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places, and events are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to real persons, places, or events is entirely coincidental.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Chapter 64

  Chapter 65

  Chapter 66

  Thank You

  1

  “Malek? Are you awake?”

  Bleary eyed, Malek yawned, blinking, gazing about him. Momentarily confused until flashes of the night before flooded through him. He shuddered, rocked by wild memories of racing through the midnight sky in the body of a hellish wolf of flame and shadow, howling at the moon.

  He gazed into pools of forest green, the gentlest smile teasing delicate lips, the girl before him looking nothing like her sister at all. Features delicate and fay, appearing more the sylvan faerie flittering in the most ancient of forests than a bold, strong warrior queen of old. And her rich, auburn hair. A color almost unique to the royal clan, Appolonia's heritage undeniable, did one have but the wit to suspect it.

  “Malek, are you all right?”

  Malek blinked and shook his head. Apple looked nothing like Jess, but still, no one who saw the pair together could doubt that they were sisters; their brows, the tilt of their heads, the way they shared the same smile whenever they thought they had the better of someone. Though now Apple's gaze was one of heartfelt concern, her eyes haunted by horrors no girl should have to face.

  The things he had done...

  And right in front of her.

  He knew he should smile. He knew he should reassure her. But at that moment, all he felt was a sick sense of shame.

  He was a monster.

  A raving killer.

  Just as he had been at his lover's funeral.

  Too weak to compel poor Jacob to flee when he had had the chance,

  He had settled instead for devouring Jacob's father.

  Body and soul.

  Cursing whatever screaming remnants had remained to the blackest reaches of the Void itself.

  “Malek?”

  Gentle hands ran through his hair and Malek closed his eyes, allowing himself to be soothed by Apple's touch, for all that he loathed the monster he had become.

  “Thank you.”

  Soft words. Trembling.

  Malek could sense the moment Apple began to crumple, ears burning with her first soft sob.

  Before he was fully aware of it, he was holding a shaking Apple in his arms, gently rubbing her back as she shook and sobbed against him, and then it was Malek gently stroking her hair, soothing her as she broke down utterly, crying her heart out in his gentle embrace.

  “Oh gods, Malek. The things, the things that monster said to me. The things he did to me!”

  Softly, Malek kissed the top of her head, his heart aching for her pain, not even knowing what to say.

  “I've never felt so dirty, Malek.” She held him tight, burying her head in his arms. She took a few deep, steadying breaths. “I never felt so ashamed.”

  “Why?”

  Apple's sobs ceased in surprise. She blinked and looked up at Malek, face red and blotchy with tears, and no less beautiful for all that.

  “Why should you feel ashamed?”

  Her cheeks burned with humiliation. “Because of what he did to me!”

  Malek shook his head. “Should a soldier feel ashamed because his foe ran him through? Should a knight feel chagrin for having been ambushed by half a dozen ne'er-do-wells?”

  Apple's lips pressed tightly together. She glared at Malek, and he couldn't help thinking her adorable for it. “It's not the same thing!”

  Malek smiled. “It's entirely the same thing.”

  Apple grimaced and sighed. “You don't know what you are talking about!”

  Malek hugged her softly. “I know exactly what I'm talking about, Apple. It was war. Franken made a move calculated to break you and devastate your family. I countered his move, but not before he had captured your piece on the board. If anyone should feel ashamed, it's me.”

  Gently, he tilted Apple's frustrated eyes to meet his own. “But Apple, being overpowered by a greater force is no shame. And what they do to you? Naught but wounds suffered in battle. You can regret your injuries, much as you would a stab to your leg or a slash to your shoulder. But you don't let them consume you. You don't doubt yourself or second-guess yourself from then on, or worse, feel ashamed, simply because you were pinked in battle.”

  Apple blushed furiously. “How can I help but feel ashamed? What man would want me now?”

  Malek sighed. “The world is filled with jackanapes and fools. Any man who would think twice of falling in love with a girl as beautiful as you, as smart and witty as you, as hardheaded as you, simply because you had taken injury in battle? He's an idiot utterly unworthy of your heart, or your time.”

  Apple grinned. “So you think I'm hardheaded?”

  “Utterly.”

  “And beautiful?”

  Malek flushed, then smiled. “Just because I like boys doesn't mean I don't recognize beauty when I see it.”

  Apple gave a teasing tilt of her head. “You don't just like boys, do you, Malek? I've seen the way Jess used to gaze at you when you didn't think she was looking. It was the gaze of a girl trying very hard to accept a bruised heart, for the sake of her friendship.”

  Malek felt his cheeks grow all the hotter. “That's kind of personal, Apple.”

  Apple's playful expression vanished, she gazed at her trembling hands once more.

  “I'm sorry, Apple. I'm an idiot, sometimes.”

  She shrugged.

  "Look... okay, yes. Ou
r first year together. Let's just say Eloquin's training is a bit more intense than even our dean wanted to admit. He made us do things, he made us train in ways that were, well, more befitting soldiers thrust onto the front lines than students at academy."

  Apple shrugged. “I know, Malek.”

  Malek blinked in surprise.

  “They trained you hard. They forged you into killers, and they blooded you all young.”

  Apple looked up, eyes hard and wise in their own way. “Most of your peers had sisters, Malek, and most of you had night terrors as well. Let's just say certain truths got out, and all of us knew what you guys were really up to.”

  Malek blinked, speechless.

  "Not that it mattered," Apple sighed. "I didn't tell Mother too much. It would have distressed her to no end, and there was nothing she could do. You Squires of War were the king's pet project, after all, and when word of Jess's talents with wood got out, well, Eloquin's Chosen might have kept it mostly a secret, but enough of us put the pieces together when rumors started that there was a girl at Highrock who could charge through a hail of lead-tipped arrows, unstopped even by men bracing against her with padded spears." Apple shook her head. "I knew even then that there was no way in hell the king wouldn't do all he could to make use of Jess's gifts in the war to come."

  Malek sighed, shrugging philosophically.

  “Malek?”

  “Yeah?”

  “How bad was it?”

  Malek gazed thoughtfully out at the room at large, an unusually well-appointed farmhand's cottage with a fine bed of hardwood, mattress filled with feathers and down, table and chairs also of finely polished hardwood with a carafe of water and an oil lantern, and best of all, a copper stove with clever piping that managed to keep the entire cottage toasty warm, despite the howling winter wind outside.

  For all that it was an out of the way cottage at a working farm, any inspector who gazed within would know that it played host to privileged guests. But really, who would look? And whoever had the resources and connections to gain permits to search a freeman's farm would probably also be savvy enough to realize the peril of interfering with Guild affairs.

  No commoner would give it two thoughts, and any noble alert enough to the discrepancies would be far too savvy to make waves without knowing where all the pieces lay in the game he had stumbled upon, making it the perfect Guild safe house, no matter how well appointed. Because once someone unexpected showed up, it was time to leave in any case.

  Malek turned his gaze back to a freshly changed Apple, having clearly scrubbed herself clean at the small washstand provided, Malek noting the open trunk of finely pressed clothes, good for anyone needing to change their guise.

  He saw the pain beneath her forest green eyes, and realized how badly she needed to be distracted. Reassured.

  "It was pretty bad, Apple. The games of strategy and martial contests, I won't deny that Jess and I both reveled in their mastery, but in the end, we all knew we were being trained for war, and that death would always be our right-hand man. The 'friend' at our back if our brothers-in-arms were ever pulled too far from us in the thick of melee, the chance arrow or crossbow bolt that strikes us in a moment of ease. Always training, always thinking through all the possibilities of enemy ambushes and how to ambush in turn; well, let's just say it took a toll on us, Apple.”

  Apple nodded solemnly. "I know. You guys saw live action too, didn't you? Especially during your last year. Before you and Jess became Delvers."

  Malek's gaze hardened. “No one was to speak of such things, Apple. Who leaked and told their sister?”

  Apple paled and turned away.

  “I'm sorry, Apple,” Malek whispered. “That was unfair.”

  She gave a soft nod of her head. “It was. I'm not going to betray my friends or your battle brothers, Malek, any more than you would.”

  Malek grimaced, feeling ashamed once more. "Jess loved her lessons, Apple, you have to understand that. She loved truly making something of herself. But yes, more than once, our assignment including hunting down bandits, Northern Erovering being quite a bit more wild than life here, close to the capital, as you know. And sometimes those engagements got a bit savage, even during our first year. And Jess, well, let's just say even then we were determined to take the lead, to prove ourselves, and we did."

  Malek's eyes grew troubled, catching glimpses of visceral memory he had thought long since put away. "Eloquin congratulated our entire unit after each blooding, even as he castigated Jess and me for imaginary failings from time to time, no matter that we always led the vanguard, always brought our brothers and sisters back home alive. Still, lectures aside, we were never denied an entire week off with all the feasting and passion you could want after each mission, savoring each revel the same as any soldiers leading the vanguard, or on crusade. And, well, you know your sister has a thing for brandy, and your family does own the finest distillery in Erovering."

  Malek shrugged and sighed. "As fiercely as we would fight, to defend our brothers and sisters, to protect our country from the vilest of slavers and bandits, the aftershocks would hit Jess particularly hard. I always took it upon myself to look after her, that charge more sacred to my heart even than the fierce love I felt for Jacob. As furiously sweet as triumph was when our blood boiled, all we wanted to do was forget the horrors of the killingfields once the mission was over and our battlelust had calmed. And we managed to forget quite well together, from time to time, the world beyond the two of us just a distant dream on those nights."

  For some reason Malek felt himself flush furiously, even as Apple's lips curved up in a knowing smile.

  “Anyway, Jess and I have always, always loved each other as fiercely as shieldsiblings ever could, and the occasional week drinking too much brandy and blurring the lines wasn't going to change that.”

  “Of course not,” Apple said archly.

  Malek chuckled softly. “It's all right, Apple. Jess understands. It's been years. And I adore Jess, yes, but I am quite happy with the boys.”

  Apple grinned. "That first year you had spent the summer with us, sweet as it was, mother and father were both afraid things might get... complicated, and I saw the way Jess would look at you, sometimes, but you seemed perfectly content to take the guest quarters near Geoffrey, playing chess and other games at all odd hours, and talk strategy and politics with him."

  Malek smiled. “I was. And don't worry. Nothing happened between us.”

  "Oh, I know that," Apple grinned. "Still, my brother was quite charmed by you, even suggested to Father that you would make a most excellent adviser and confidant. Frankly, Malek, he wanted us to sponsor you as your patron right away, never mind the stigma of your, let's be honest, rather contentious family."

  Malek chuckled dryly. "Say what you like about that pack of rabid jackals. Lesser lord my father might be, but our family has all the drama, intrigue, and backstabbing of the most jaded of dynasties. I haven't set foot in that den of horrors since first being admitted to Highrock."

  Apple smiled. “We never doubted your loyalty for a second. Still, Jess made it quite clear that you were hers, that you two were destined to be battle siblings for all eternity, and that it would be years before either of you were going to put down roots and settle.”

  Malek smiled. “And then Jess and I discovered that there was far more to the world than even the farthest shores could take us, and nothing has been the same since.”

  Apple nodded solemnly. “You two became Delvers, exploring worlds of wonder and madness, the storybooks coming alive for you two in ways that most of us could never fathom.”

  Malek flashed a bitter smile, a boy's silent scream haunting him even in that moment. "There are other worlds all right, Apple, but if you don't have the knack for leaping from Dawn to dream, you'll just end up looking foolish, a girl chasing rumors that amount to nothing, if you're lucky. If not, if you are one of the unfortunate few who has just a trace of the Delver's gift but no more
, you might just find yourself slipping through the cracks between those realms of fantastic dream and endless nightmare, and the gods only know what happens to your soul then."

  Apple shivered at that. "I thought, I thought it was like, well, looking off in the distance, seeing a majestic castle wavering like a mirage in the afternoon light. If I were to approach it, sure enough, it would turn out to be naught but the old ruin of a fort, burnt out support timbers or a few remaining columns all that was left. And I would stand there, shaking my head, rubbing my eyes, wondering what it was exactly I had been expecting." She smiled, pinning Malek with her gaze. "Whereas you, somehow, could approach that majestic palace, and see it firsthand in all its ancient glory, perhaps complete with a faerie princess who had an ancient quest for you to perform in her honor, and upon the accomplishing of it, you would be awarded a wondrous prize and a night in her arms, even if you woke up in a dusty cellar the next day with nothing but sweet memories and an ancient relic discovered."

  Malek grinned. "Sometimes it does end up just that way, Apple. Yet the stories Delvers such as Jess and I are drawn to are often of the grimmer sort. Still, we've seen some light and wonder in our time, and we've always made it back." Absently, he twirled a lock of Apple's hair. "You see, Apple, there are Delvers that can plunge into the darkest pits of nightmare, just as there are other Delvers that can only skim the surface of possibility, often savoring the sweetest of dreams, for all that they are the most likely to perish if they dare to savor more than a few sweet adventures, and folly finally claims them. Most Delvers, of course, fall somewhere in between."