Chronicles of a Royal Pet- Of Scales and Distant Shores

by Ian Rodgers

  Behind me, a large wooden club covered in razor sharp blades of obsidian crashed down onto where I had been kneeling moments before, splitting the ground open with a thunderous ‘Crack!’

  I hastily jumped to my feet to face my attacker, concerned that I hadn’t even detected the assailant until the last moment when he launched his assault! Either he had a way to hide from my myriad of senses, or he had gone from outside my fifty-foot detection range to right behind me in less than a second! And neither of those choices sounded good in regards to fighting this person off.

  Speaking of my assailant, I took a good look at the figure, and blanched. Glossy, ebony scales shone under the afternoon sun, with many of the scales on the arms, legs, and head possessing a faint bronze edging. The bronze colored scales contrasted well with the green eyes that stared at me with loathing. An elongated, reptilian muzzle was parted in a snarl, revealing razor-sharp ivory-colored fangs.

  A lizardfolk. An eight-foot tall lizardfolk wearing a golden breastplate and greaves along with a leather kilt made of some sort of dark red snakeskin. Using one hand the warrior hefted the large obsidian-studded warclub that had nearly splattered me out of the hole it had made, and the wielder settled into a combat stance.

  “It’s not what you think!” I shouted, holding my ‘hands’ out in surrender towards the lizardfolk. “I did not do any of this! I just found the scene of the massacre earlier!”

  The heavily muscled lizard warrior just snarled and barked something at me in a hissing, crackling tongue, and I realized belatedly I’d never figured out how to speak the local language.

  ~To be fair, we never considered we’d stumble across a massacre and then be accused of being the perpetrator,~ Tara pointed out.

  ‘Not the time!’ I exclaimed, while twisting my body out of the way of another strike from the lizardman. At least, I think it was male. I couldn’t really tell, to be honest.

  My mind shoved that errant thought out of the way as I was soon forced to engage in a desperate battle for survival. The warclub weighed at least a hundred pounds, and was made of sturdy dragonwood studded with enchanted obsidian, and yet he swung that thing around with reckless abandon like it was a toy sword.

  I dodged each and every swing, for as fast and strong as this assailant of mine was, he lacked real skill. It was a berserker’s charge, fueled by anger and grief over the blood that had been shed.

  Not once did I retaliate. Instead, I merely evaded the attacks. I did not want to make things worse by harming this person over a misunderstanding. Rosa shouting at me to kick him in the nuts and punch his lights out was not helping matters, either. Thankfully he could not hear my Familiar, or understand her, which would have no doubt made him angrier than he already was.

  ~Jelly, if this continues, you’ll be hit! And if the blow is too close to your core, it could crack! That lizardman is using the spell Shockwave every time he swings that warclub! It creates a ripple of energy not unlike a seismic quake, so if it connects, not even you will be unscathed!~ Tara warned.

  ‘Then what do you suggest?!’ I cried, slipping under a horizontal strike and backpedaling even more.

  ~The Paralysis spell! That will hold him in place without harming him!~

  ‘Good idea!’ I praised, feeling silly that I hadn’t thought of it. I removed my gilded bone staff from my Dimensional Pocket, and the lizardfolk tensed, but relaxed, as if he wasn’t intimidated by my spell foci in my right ‘hand.’

  Concerned, but unable to do anything other than cast the spell, I pointed the staff and let the chant spill forth. “Bind and seal, none shall move! Arrest the motion, and bring stillness through stiffness! Paralysis!”

  I felt a sense of elation as the black-scaled man-lizard froze mid step, warclub raised, with faint yellow and purple sparks dancing all over his body as the spell took effect.

  My joy swiftly took a drastic hit and turned to shock, and then despair, as the warrior growled, and began to move once more. Slowly, with each movement exaggerated, but still he was moving!

  ‘Tara, why is he still moving?!’

  The sparks that had decorated and restrained his body flickered and danced violently, before extinguishing one by one.

  ~I don’t know! With the amount of power you put into the spell, he should have been completely paralyzed for at least fifty minutes, not a mere five seconds!~ the Spirit of Knowledge cried out.

  There was a loud ‘Bang!’ that came from the lizardman, and the Paralysis spell on his body shattered, the sparks fading as if they’d never existed in the first place. And despite the warrior’s reptilian face, a cruel smirk clearly appeared as he bared his fangs at me.

  Stunned at seeing my spell defeated so easily, I was unable to react properly as he hurled his warclub at my head. The heavy weapon tore the hat from me, just clipping me slightly. Distracted by the fluttering headwear and the thin trickle of purple goo from the cut on the side of my ‘face,’ I did not see the lizardman berserker suddenly leap at me, following up his thrown weapon with the claws on his hands poised to strike.

  (JELLY!)

  ~Look out!~

  Two voices shouted at me to move away, and I obeyed, trusting them. Nevertheless, I was still struck by a vicious downwards palm strike from the lizardman’s left hand. My own left ‘arm’ went flying off as it was torn from my body.

  “Dang it!” I shouted as my arm-shaped pseudopod tumbled through the air before it hit the ground and splattered, looking like someone had spilled grape jam everywhere.

  The lizardman was staring at the melted remains of my ‘arm’ in confusion, standing there in a daze. I took the chance to create more distance. My torn robe sleeve fluttered as I ran, and I braced myself, ready to retreat as far and as fast as I could, when a loud “STOP!” echoed over the hills and field.

  Both I and the lizardman glanced over and spotted a reedy figure scrambling towards us.

  It was not a lizardfolk, although the figure did have scales. It resembled a five-foot tall bipedal wolf covered almost completely in burnt orange scales, with tufts of wiry black hair emerging from the tips of its ears and tail.

  ~A kobold!~ Tara exclaimed, and I peered closer. Observing the figure with my magic-sight, I was surprised to see that large amount of mana it possessed was suffused with draconic energy.

  Like all creatures with the blood of a dragon, kobolds were one of the many breeds of Lesser Dragons descended from the godly True Dragons who had once traversed the mortal planes and the Aether, leaving behind imperfect and twisted offspring. Unlike Wyverns, Lindwyrms, or Hydras, however, kobolds were one of the few creatures with draconic heritage that possessed sapience. Only Impure Dragons like the pink-scaled Pomegranate had similar levels of intellect.

  As I pondered the presence of the kobold, its watery grey eyes observed the site of the massacre with a sorrowful expression, before turning toward the black-scaled lizardfolk and the sadness turned to annoyance. Again, the gender of the newcomer was hard to identify, but from the curves and slenderness of their frame, I assumed the newcomer was a female.

  The kobold wore dirt-stained white robes that made me think of a cross between a monk’s cassock and a mage’s flowing robe. A wooden rod topped with a golden cube was clutched in both clawed hands and it approached us, panting. It barked something at the lizardman, who quailed and bent his head in shame. The newcomer then turned to me and cleared its throat.

  “I apologize for my companion’s hasty temper. He was understandably angered by this atrocity, and was not thinking clearly.”

  I was surprised at how well the kobold spoke Common, but put that thought aside and chose to incline my ‘head’ slightly and accept the apology. The kobold’s voice also confirmed the guess of gender.

  “While I’m not happy about how quickly he jumped to conclusions, his rage is indeed understandable. And no permanent harm was done.”

  The kobold stared at me and where my left arm should have been in disbelief, and the black scaled lizardm
an hissed something. Their expressions changed, and they stared at me closely.

  “Theep claims that you are not as human as you appear to be. He says you smell like the village of strange Oozes, but different.”

  “Theep?” I asked, unconsciously, and I was treated to the sight of a burly, fearsome lizardman look down in something close to mortification.

  “It’s not the best name, but what can you do?” the kobold said with a shrug and a smirk of her own. “And yes, even in Hiseid, our mother-tongue, it’s somewhat embarrassing. I believe it translates out to something like ‘shy’ or ‘meek’ in Common.”

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Such a powerful figure had such a tiny, silly name!

  When aforementioned Theep growled at me I quickly shut up and answered the earlier question.

  “Yes, he is correct, I am not human.” I let my illusions fall away, and the two scaled beings blinked in surprise as they took in my appearance. And then their eyes widened even further when I regrew a new arm-shaped pseudopod to replace the one Theep had removed.

  “My name is Jellik, and I am a Royal Ooze. Also, a C-ranked adventurer from Orria here to visit kin,” I said, explaining things to them. “As for what happened here, I was just taking a stroll when I smelled blood and the residue of Dark magic, and came to investigate.”

  “Dark magic?” the kobold yipped in shock, before waving her gold-topped rod around. “I can’t detect anything like that.”

  “You wouldn’t. It’s subtle, and I only recognized it because I know first-hand the effects and aftermath of such magic,” I said seriously. “It was Arboralnecromancy that did this. The soil still smells sour and befouled, even days afterwards.”

  The kobold muttered something under her breath, a swear if I was to guess, and the lizardman looked unnerved.

  “Forgive my rudeness, and my companion’s suspicion. We must report this to the High Priests at Xocxotl, and warn the other city-states. If this is true, then…” the scaled wolf trailed off before shaking her head. “My name is Rikee. If you are near the great temple anytime in the future, tell them you know me and Theep. And if you learn anything else about this attack, please inform us.”

  The kobold barked at Theep, who nodded and started to look around for his warclub. He found it and fetched it before walking away with the smaller scaled figure. They left, heading west.

  I started to leave as well. Staying around the numerous corpses was not something I wanted to do, and so hurried away from the scene of the slaughter. More than anything I wished to set every corpse there on fire to cleanse them of the residual Dark magic taint, but did not know of lizardfolk burial rites and held off on that. I had already gotten out of one misunderstanding. No need to fall into a second willingly.

  Once the two scaled figures were gone from sight, Rosa flew back to me, fallen hat held awkwardly in her tiny hands, and tackle-hugged the side of my ‘head’ tightly.

  (I’m glad you’re alright! I was so scared!) she cried, and I patted the Carbuncle fondly. I took the hat back and placed it atop my head before casting my illusions over my body once more.

  “I was scared as well,” I admitted. “That lizardman, Theep, was strong. At least B-rank in terms of physical strength and speed, if not borderline A-rank thanks to being able to sneak up on me. And he was able to shrug off my magic like it was nothing...”

  ~I thought about that,~ Tara spoke up. ~And I believe, after comparing him to Rikee the Kobold, that Theep is not a pure lizardfolk, but rather a Dragonewt.~

  “A what?” I asked, and Rosa tilted her head curiously as well before settling down on my hat brim.

  ~A Dragonewt. It’s what they call a child born from a kobold and a lizardfolk. They have the physical might of a lizardfolk, but the magical prowess of a kobold.~

  “Interesting,” I mused. “A dragon has a terrifying resistance to magic, so it makes sense anything with thick enough draconic blood would have a similar resistance.”

  I shook my ‘head’ after a moment. “As intriguing as that all is, I think we have bigger things to deal with. Like why the World Rebellion Apostle chased us across the ocean and is now attacking lizardfolk convoys!”

  ~I do not know the answer to that question, Jelly. But I fear none of us shall like it.~

  I nodded mutely in agreement with Tara’s words. Nothing pleasant would come from this mess.

  It was late afternoon when I reached Haven. The Soul Oozes waved at me cheerfully as I entered, and I waved back, feeling my mood buoyed by the peaceful atmosphere of the town.

  I spotted Katherine and Valen approaching me, and I waved a ‘hand’ in greeting. The gesture faltered when I saw grim expressions plastered on their faces.

  “What’s wrong? Has something happened?” I asked nervously once they were close enough to whisper to. We wandered over to a corner near the palisade where no one could overhear us and we could speak freely.

  “We’re not sure what it is, exactly, but something has riled up the east. Lots of armored men moving back and forth from the town of Ryegrid, and patrolling the area,” Katherine said, worried.

  “There is a tension in the air that I don’t like at all,” Valen admitted. “I felt it when I was on my trading run yesterday. Hopefully we’ll know more soon, and we can stop dreading.”

  The Soul Ooze shook his head to clear his doubts and concerns from his mind before looking at me questioningly.

  “So, how did whatever ritual you had planned go? I don’t see an extra body with you.”

  “I’m afraid that the materials I used were insufficient,” I complained with a sigh. “Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. I’d thought I could cut corners with cheaper, less potent magical substances. After seven failed attempts, I know now I must use better, more magical items.”

  “Why is your left sleeve all ripped up? What happened? Run into a Razor Rose bush?” Katherine asked, staring at my tattered clothes.

  “No, more like an angry lizard,” I muttered. Seeing their confused expressions I quickly explained. “I was taking a stroll to clear my head, when suddenly I smelled blood and other unpleasant scents.”

  (Sour soil. Tainted, twisted trees,) Rosa mumbled from her spot on my hat. I nodded at her words, relaying them.

  “What we found was… a massacre. Someone had ambushed and slaughtered a religious procession. Worse, it was a lizardfolk one. Over fifty corpses, including a Dragon Priest and a cracked dragon’s egg,” I stated, wholeheartedly agreeing with the horrified winces the two of them revealed.

  “And your robe’s condition?” Katherine pressed.

  “The lizardfolk had gotten worried about the missing convoy and sent some agents out to look. One of them was, ironically, a hot-blooded Dragonewt with a war club. Saw me inspecting the battlefield, thought I had had a part in the deaths, and attacked. I managed to dodge everything until his companion, a kobold shaman from the looks of it, came up and stopped him.”

  “A kobold? Really? I only thought they lived around the Dragoncross Mountains in Par-Orria,” Katherine exclaimed.

  “Drakon is the land of dragons and the dragon-blooded. I think people would have been suspicious if there weren’t kobolds here,” I said drily.

  “Jellik is right. Kobolds are an integral part of Drakon. More specifically, many tribes and clans of kobolds live amongst the lizardfolk as equals. The lizards worship dragons, and as their descendants kobolds have equal treatment in the lizardfolk dominated city-states. They have greater magical talents than any lizardman, and act as mages, Alchemists, Enchanters, and so forth,” Valen helpfully explained. Katherine, Rosa, and I all looked at him in surprise. He flushed and rubbed the back of his head.

  “We trade with a few nearby lizardfolk and kobold settlements as well as with the humans. They’re curious about us, but are content to leave us alone. And since we have no inclination to raid and plunder their holy sites and temples for gold they like us Soul Oozes a lot more than the humans right now.”

  �
�Well, anyways, the kobold -- whose name was Rikee -- stopped the fight between us and mediated. She -at least I assume it was a she, I couldn’t really tell- was quick to depart to warn some city of theirs.” I shook my ‘head’ slowly.

  “You met Rikee? Nice lady. Not at all judgmental in regards to one’s species or appearance. We do good trade with her and her masters over at their city in Xocxotl,” Valen said, helpfully confirming my thoughts of her gender in the process.

  “Should I be worried that there’s another woman in your life, Valen?” Katherine demanded with a single raised eyebrow. I shuddered, as I knew that expression from the times when Queen Amdora Roan had scolded her children or husband.

  “N-no!” Valen spluttered. “We’re trading partners! Acquaintances! Nothing more!”

  Katherine maintained her stern, judging look before her façade cracked, and she began to snicker and tremble with repressed laughter.

  “Ah, now I understand why mom and the other women in the Dark Guild taught me that move! It’s so fun to watch a boy toy squirm!”

  “Oh, so you’re not angry, that’s good… wait, boy toy?!” the male Soul Ooze gasped, choking in shock.

  “Don’t worry about it,” the dwarf thief said, nonchalantly reaching out and pinching the area where a posterior would be on a normal person. He let out a distinctly non-feminine squeal at the action, jumping a few inches into the air.

  I coughed awkwardly while Rosa and Tara roared with laughter. The former rolling on the dirt, clutching her belly while trapped in her mirth.

  ‘You’d never start treating me like that, would you?’ I asked my two companions cautiously. There was a deep, long pause as the Carbuncle and Spirit of Knowledge had a secret conversation, before they commented as one,

  ~(No need to start. We already do.)~

  I winced, not sure how to feel about that. I didn’t feel like a ‘boy toy,’ but then again, would I even notice without copious and constant butt-pinches?

  ‘I may need to look into this matter with the help of Liliana and Kine,’ I thought privately to myself.