Chronicles of a Royal Pet- Of Scales and Distant Shores

by Ian Rodgers

  “Not exactly boosting my confidence, here,” I muttered, and Hart barked out a harsh laugh.

  “Not trying to. Just telling the truth. No time or place for weakness on the battlefield.” She glanced over her shoulder, eyes narrowing. “Excuse me, I have something to do.”

  I watched her stride over to a nearby archer and snatch the bow from him, before pulling out the Arrow of Exorcism I had given her days earlier.

  Curious, I followed behind her slightly, and stood next to her as she looked down from the town’s defensive wall upon the scaled horde before her.

  The earthen walls and barriers Rosa had raised were all but gone, torn down by hours of relentless siege. The last of the human forces were pulling back. If luck was on our side, we could get them all inside the town’s walls before the zalos breached the earthworks.

  “Finally, a clear shot on that accursed totem of theirs,” Hart uttered, fury in her tone as she readied the bow and enchanted arrow.

  I looked towards where she was focused on, and spotted a large, golden serpent, coiled around an equally golden crocodile, hoisted up via what looked like a tree that had been crudely hacked down and turned into a giant banner pole.

  Even from this distance I could feel the oily sensation of ritualistic blood magic pouring off of the golden totem. Each and every zalos under its aegis had had their scales enchanted to be tougher than iron, while their stamina also recovered faster.

  “Scaled cowards had kept their totem back the whole time, out of range of our archers. But now that the first line of defense is fallen, they’ve decided it’s all right to bring it up a little closer,” Hart hissed, drawing the bow string back all the way to her ear.

  She muttered a prayer to Nia, and Divine magic filled the bow, causing it to glow softly. The arrow I had made gleamed silver as well, and a faint sense of joy filled me as the Goddess of Maidens graced the battlefield.

  With a crack akin to thunder, the Arrow of Exorcism shot forth, striking the zalos’ war standard right between the snake’s eyes.

  The reaction of the Light blessed projectile went far beyond my wildest expectations. The totem exploded, sending molten bits of gold everywhere. Howls of pain erupted from the invaders, which turned to panic as the blessings faltered and failed.

  Many of the zalos stumbled and fell, their physical strength no longer buoyed by the powers of the own gods. A ripple of displaced magic tore through a quarter of the enemy’s vanguard, and I could tell that many enchantments, namely those on their armor, had failed, rendering their shiny armor made of gold no better than ordinary armor.

  The Knight-Captain smirked, and I could not help but let my illusory face grin as well.

  “That went better than expected,” she mumbled to herself, before she spotted me watching. “Can you ask Rosa to undo her work?”

  I thought her request over. It did not seem to go against the rules. I nodded at Rosa who flew over the lip of the wall and landed on the ground, palms planted firmly in the dirt.

  A rumble, followed by a tremor, rolled over the landscape as the last of the packed soil and sod walls she had made crumbled away. Several zalos who had been try to scale the walls were buried under mounds of dirt. Now, the zalos could not use the defenses for their own purposes!

  “Return to the rear,” Hart then ordered me. “I believe the field hospital is setting up near the mine tunnels; that’s where the citizens are evacuating to. Go there, and leave me to the defenses here.”

  All I could do was nod my assent, and as soon as Rosa flew back to her perch on my hat, I headed back towards the mines. Behind me, I heard the commander’s sword rasp from its sheath, and her bellowed commands raised a roar from the remaining defenders.

  “Please be safe,” I whispered to any deity willing to listen. “Please, just stay safe for a few more days!”

  .

  “…and that is how Spellman saved the world!” I concluded, waving my hands as I dismissed the illusions I had conjured. A smattering of applause echoed through the cavern.

  “Wow! Did he really do all that?”

  I looked at the speaker, one of the dozen or so children from Hole’s Reach, and nodded.

  “Indeed, he did,” I said.

  “Even the bit with the dragon, the unicorn, and the fairy?” another kid asked, and I nodded again.

  “Especially that part. It’s what he’s most famous for. I mean, besides stopping those demon cultists from summoning forth the Worm-Sire and its unholy demonic hordes,” I said.

  “So cool! I wanna be just like him when I grow up!”

  “Me too!”

  “Me also too!”

  I chuckled at the antics of the children, glad to see my storytelling skills were decent enough to entertain several youngsters as we huddled and hid inside mining tunnels.

  For a whole week, Hole’s Reach had been under siege from the zalos vanguard. Just three days ago, they had made it to the walls of the town, having cut through the trenches and earthworks Rosa had made. Surprisingly, but not unwelcome, was that the nearly two thousand large bipedal lizards had chosen to simply encamp around the town’s walls rather than try additional assaults.

  The destruction of their totem, which had previously provided an unfair magical advantage in their favor, had frightened them, and whoever was leading the zalos was cautious now that their trump card was gone.

  It gave the defenders time they had desperately needed to rest, heal and prepare for a counter attack, should the chance come. Not to mention that without the sounds of battle thundering through the air it was actually possible to relax just a bit, if only emotionally.

  The miners continued their work, building up stockpiles of iron, coal, and other ores for when the siege broke and they could sell their goods once more. The cooks, cleaners, housewives, and shopkeepers continued to do whatever it was they did to keep Hole’s Reach functioning, and life more or less went on as it would normally. Aside from the addition of two hundred armed soldiers, of course.

  All this meant that someone had to look after the kids, though. They couldn’t leave the settlement to play or work or whatever it was they did in their free time, but they also didn’t want to do academic lessons constantly.

  So, in a move that had earned many approving looks from the women of the community, I had volunteered to teach the adorable tykes a few tricks with magic for those who wanted to learn a Cantrip or two, as well as tell stories of heroes and adventurers from Orria.

  Several days of this had won me the affection of them all, and I was reveling in attention, praise, and awe.

  I cast Time Keeper, and winced as I saw how late it was.

  “Four in the afternoon?! Oh, jeez, sorry kids, but time’s up for now. By two hours or so.” Groans rippled through the crowd of tiny people but they dutifully got up.

  “Don’t worry! I’ll still be here tomorrow!” I announced as they filed out of the tapped out mine tunnel I had claimed as my ‘classroom.’

  ~I still think you’d make an excellent teacher, Jelly,~ Tara commented.

  (Yeah! You have lots of fun with them! Plus, your illusions make really great visual aids! You should patent that!)

  ‘First off, how do you know about patenting, Rosa? You only left the Elemental Plane of Earth a few years ago and have never entered a law office in your life. Second, yes, being a teacher does sound like fun, but I am still a student myself. Maybe when I am older, and all this prophecy nonsense is squared away,’ I replied.

  ~Everyone was a student once. And many still are, despite having grown up. Arnolt Cantos, nearly a century old and considered one of the smartest men alive, certainly still has things to learn, especially when you bring him new ideas on spells, or simply being your unique, squishy self,~ Tara countered.

  ‘True,’ I mumbled, standing up from the floor of the tunnel. I brushed some dirt off of my robes, adjusted my hat, let Rosa land on its brim, and grabbed my staff before hurriedly heading out of the cave. I thought back to
the village of Haven, and to Katherine, Valen, and the rest of the Soul Oozes. Muttered prayers were sent their way as I hoped they had finished their own defenses in time.

  ‘Think Commander Hart will be annoyed that I’m two hours late to the meeting?’ I asked, mostly rhetorically.

  (I’m sure she’ll understand! She likes kids too, so she will forgive you!) Rosa assured me.

  Nothing else was spoken as I emerged in the bright afternoon sun. Thank the gods I don’t have eyes, or I could have been blinded by the light after so long in the dimness of the mines!

  I made my way over to the walls of the town, where a handful of archers and battle-mages were stationed on lookout duty. Amongst them was a familiar figure clad in slightly battered full plate armor.

  “Apologies for being very, very late,” I said, bowing my ‘head’ towards the armored form of Knight-Captain Alexandra Hart. She spared me a glance and inclined her head slightly in acceptance.

  “No worries. Nothing has happened recently, which is why I did not bother to send anyone to get you,” she responded.

  I grew worried at that, and fidgeted nervously. “Are you sure? Nothing?”

  “Nothing. Not even from the lizards,” Hart said, shaking her head. She then shot me a look of worry, and lowered her voice, “How certain are you that these ‘special reinforcements’ of yours will come?”

  “Very,” I assured her. “They promised, and I know they would not abandon us.”

  The knightess did not look very impressed with my words. I understood her feelings well. I had promised help within a week. It still wasn’t here.

  One of the archers on the wall who was squinting off into the distance gasped, and darted over to us.

  “Commander! A large force is approaching us!”

  “Is it our reinforcements?” she asked hopefully. The archer shook his head, a fearful look in his eyes. Whatever he had seen was now being spotted by the other lookouts, and cries of dismay went up.

  “No. It’s theirs.” Commander Hart gasped and ran over to the wall, with myself a feet paces behind her.

  I swore. Rosa swore. Tara swore. Hart swore even worse than the three of us combined.

  Thousands of golden armored figures marched across the plains to the south-west of us, coming up towards Hole’s Reach the same way the vanguard had. Dozens of large, golden totems of reptiles and scaled beasts swayed in the air, hoisted high above the marching army. The greasy feel of blood magic coated the totems, and bathed the zalos army with ritual magic.

  Hissing went up from the zalos camped outside our walls as they spotted their companions. Less than two thousand besiegers had suddenly swollen to twenty thousand.

  And, as they neared, a trio of deafening roars tore through the tranquility as three massive adult dragons dove down out of the clouds, making a pass over the area.

  “Damn it all!” Hart cursed. She turned to some of the men nearby and began shouting orders. “You, go inform the citizens they need to evacuate into the mine now! And you, if they haven’t already, tell the soldiers to gear up and get ready for the final stand! Go!”

  Her messengers nodded and dashed off. She then turned to me.

  “Jellik, I want you to stay with the civilians. Protect them if necessary. Lead them out of the mines if at all possible.”

  I nodded, grim yet determined. “I won’t let you down!”

  “As for the rest of you…” Whatever Hart had been about to say was drowned out by a volley of bugle horns and war drums, and she twisted her neck around so fast I swear I heard the bones crack!

  “Divine Family be praised!” she whispered, tears coming unbidden to her eyes. I felt a flush of relief as well at the sight; over ten thousand armed and armored humans, dwarves, elves, and assorted others species marched towards Hole’s Reach via the east, their banners just barely visible through the trees.

  “We can win this,” Hart muttered to herself. “We can survive this!”

  As the Knight-Captain barked out new orders to her soldiers, I peered closer at the New Castellean army, both with regular sight and magical. I couldn’t spot any of the familiar presences I’d been hoping for.

  Where was Joris? Why was he so late?

  I was so busy fretting and looking for signs of my accomplice that I almost didn’t see the flock of arrows flying at me from the vanguard’s position. ‘Almost’ being the key word.

  I raised my staff in an offhand manner and let a large shield shimmer into existence over the heads of the defenders on the wall. The projectiles clattered on the magical shield and dropped harmlessly to the ground.

  Hart, who had ducked behind the wall when she’d heard the telltale ‘whoosh!’ of arrows in flight, quickly got back up, gave me a thankful nod for my assistance, and then barked some more orders.

  “It looks like the lizards camped out here are throwing everything into one final assault,” she noted, turning back to me.

  “It seems that way,” I commented idly as more arrows smashed themselves on my shield. “I suppose they want to at least give us a taste of defeat here to reduce the morale of our reinforcing army. Not that our allies can actually step in and help relieve the siege. They have their hands full facing off against the full might of the zalos’ main army!”

  “Which means we have to hold here, and keep them occupied,” Hart declared. “We might not be able to survive, but we can at least prevent these thousand or so lizards from becoming a thorn in our allies’ side.”

  I nodded in silent agreement and pushed more mana into the shield to reinforce it. Arrows from the wall passed through the veil of defensive magic and fell into the lizardfolk forces, who cried out in pain as steel and iron tipped projectiles bit deep into their scales now that their totem’s protective power had dissolved.

  Looking over to where the New Castellean army was maneuvering to assail the zalos, I watched in awe as gleaming armor and bright pennants and banners were arrayed on each side. It was an army of silver versus one of gold.

  Their forces readied themselves. Men on horseback prepared to charge zalos astride large riding lizards, and battle mages cast spells to resist dragon fire while totems pulsed with sacrificed life force and filled scales and claws with potent vigor.

  And then, as both sides began to advance…

  A man in a long, dark coat popped into existence between the two armies, with three well-dressed men at his side.

  His guests let out squeals of fear at having appeared directly between two large armies, but the man in black just looked annoyed. He raised his hands, pointed a palm towards each of the oncoming forces…

  And then thirty thousand souls were suddenly many hundreds of feet from where they’d started.

  The charges faltered, and soldiers on both sides milled around in confusion. How had they all gone from where they were to a spot far away?

  “All right, listen up you battle hungry morons!” the man in the black coat roared, his voice carried aloft by magic. “I am Joris Cowl, X-ranked adventurer, and… hang on, let me fix something real quick…”

  Joris waved his hands and suddenly the thousand plus zalos in front of Hole’s Reach vanished with only a faint ‘Pop!’ of displaced air to mark their departure. Commander Hart stared stupidly at where an army had been only seconds before, then slowly turned to give me a look filled with incredulousness.

  “Yup, looks like he came through just in time!” I said, relief rushing into me. A lesser being with lesser control over their body would have sunk to their knees. I, as a Royal Ooze pretending to be a human, did not have that problem.

  “Now, some of you might be wondering what a high-ranked member of the Adventurer’ Guild is doing here in a contest between nations. The answer is simple: you’re all idiots, and I am here to clean up this mess with the blessing of the Kingdoms of Varia, Brune, and the colonial government of New Castella!” Joris shouted. “Let my companions introduce themselves!”

  “Allister Doe, Count of Nolvenk and Foreign Aff
airs Minister for his majesty King Eric Thardeen Naveros, ruler of Brune! In his name I am here to treat with both sides to end this conflict!” a man with a bowl cut announced.

  “Lorn Pynkglade, Viscount of Salter’s Keep and Foreign Affairs Minister for his majesty Tiberius Augustine Roan, ruler of Varia! In his name I am here to treat with both sides to end this conflict!” a man wearing pink and green robes shouted.

  “Michel Cinderseed, Baron of Milgo and Foreign Affairs Minister for Minsol Ackerwale, Governor-General of New Castella! In the name of the colonial territories I am here to treat with both sides to end this conflict!” the eldest of the three stated, as he supported himself with a fancy cane.

  “I have proof that this whole debacle was instigated by a third party! So, throw down your weapons or have them thrown down for you!” Joris shouted.

  There was a lengthy moment of terse silence that was eventually broken by a furious roar. One of the three dragons, the red and orange scaled behemoth, dove towards the X-ranker and his group.

  Joris Cowl did not even look impressed. If anything, boredom was plastered on his face. He flickered away, only to appear in the sky right in front of the charging dragon. He raised a fist and brought it down on the S-ranked creature’s snout.

  A sound like shattering glass boomed out across the battlefield and the dragon plummeted from the sky, crashing into the ground and carving a deep furrow as it ploughed through the earth, dazed.

  “Whu- what just happened?” Hart gasped, mouth opening and closing like a fish’s.

  “I believe Joris Cowl punched it,” I said nonchalantly. The defenders on the wall stared at me, then him, then at the insensate dragon that had been knocked out with a single blow.

  “…How?!” someone cried. I glanced over at them, and saw it was the ‘Fourth Time’s the Charm!’ trio.

  ‘It’s nice to see they made it,’ I thought to myself, before I answered their question. “Well, I’m no expert, and I didn’t get that good of a look at what he did, but I think Sir Joris covered his fist with a membrane of energy before striking the dragon. So, in the end, the answer to your question is, as always, ‘magic.’”