Aliens Landed In Ballykilduff And Other Strange Stories
Page 5
all of these things and much more besides. They even took an excursion across the Channel, to France, where they took in the magical sights of Paris. All in all, it was a great start to their trip of a lifetime that would see them spanning the globe, visiting Singapore, England, France, Ireland and Norway before finally heading home to Australia via a stopover, a few days in Japan.
We met Karen and Joan at the Dublin airport. It was the usual hive of activity, with people milling about all over the place.
My wife, Breda, spotted Karen. Waving to catch her attention, we made our way across to the two ladies from down under. After the usual greetings that one feels obliged to do in awkward situations such as airports, we made our way through the throngs of humanity, to our car.
At first, I feared we might not have enough room in the car to accommodate the two large suitcases and several bags our guests had in tow, but after some juggling about (of both luggage and people) we got everything in. Pointing my car in the direction of the motorway, we headed for the Toll Bridge.
The drive must have been a real eye opener for Karen and Joan. Many people, who have never actually set foot in Ireland, have a mental picture of it being a land of shamrocks and faeries; a county of children dancing at the crossroads, thatched cottages and leprechauns jealously guarding their pots of gold. What our passengers saw, from the comfort of our car, were speeding vehicles, thundering trucks, mile after mile of road construction, and new houses being built all over the place – and all of them trying to outdo their neighbours in size and grandeur. Our Australian friends saw only too clearly that Ireland had joined the twenty-first century – and with a bang.
It’s a pleasant journey, from Dublin to Carlow, where we live. Carlow is one of the few places in Ireland that still embraces the laidback lifestyle we all enjoyed until recently, when the economic boom began after the Celtic Tiger finally awoke from his long, long slumbers.
A note: since I wrote this story Ireland has suffered a huge financial and banking crisis, and also a property bubble that burst with devastating consequences. They have left the county in tatters. Moreover, once again people are leaving our shores in their thousands, to make better lives elsewhere. It’s so sad to see the boom years we enjoyed wasted, so.
If we lived in Australia, I am sure we would say we live in the Outback, but, it being Ireland, we merely say that we are living in the country.
Having safely arrived home, one of the first things we did with our visitors was to take them for a walk down our lane. I jokingly call it The Avenue. A lane, though, it most certainly is.
Being a budding photographer, Karen brought her state of the art digital camera with her. The lane – the Avenue – is three quarters of a mile in length, and being so far out in the county, away from the noisy and polluting traffic; it is a nice walk both summer and winter. Because it was summer, the wild flowers were at their peak of perfection, in full luxuriant bloom. I don’t recall how many photos Karen told me she took during that walk, but I would be surprised to hear if it were less than a hundred. She took photos of wild flowers, clover, cattle, horses, trees, nettles, birds, everything and anything that caught her attention.
There was also something else that caught Karen’s attention; the ivy-covered ruins of an old house at the end of our lane. I told Karen and Joan all that I knew about it, including the fact that is was supposed to be haunted. Having no intention of wasting the opportunity to photograph a haunted house, Karen’s finger pressed excitedly on the shutter release button of her camera.
I asked Karen and Joan if they wanted to venture inside the ruins. They each declined my invitation. Karen, being a spiritually gifted person, was a bit jumpy while photographing the house. The reason for this is that some spirits – ghosts – from a haunted house that she visited in Australia followed her home. It took a great deal of effort, and help from some experts, to move them on.
When she felt that she had enough photos taken of the house, Karen decided to preview them on her camera. It was then that she noticed something unusual about some of the photos.
“Gerry,” she said, “will you take a look at this?”
I inspected the photo she had displayed on her camera screen. At first I saw nothing unusual about it, but after Karen pointed out some anomalies in the picture, I was as astonished as she was by it. These things, these abnormalities in the photo were orbs. Three red coloured orbs were floating in front of the ruins of the old house. I was amazed to see this, I really and truly was.
“Show me another photo!” I said excitedly to her.
“They are in this photo as well!” she said, with growing excitement at what she was seeing.
Studying the photo with acute interest, I saw three red coloured orbs floating in front of the ruins. Excited, but also a bit scared at the prospect that spirits – ghosts – were there with us, I said, “Show me another photo.”
She did, Karen showed me a third photo. When I saw it, my heart skipped a beat. There were five large, red coloured orbs, so large they almost obscured the ruins behind them.
“That’s it!” I cried out. “That’s why this place was abandoned – it really is haunted!”
Karen said nothing; she was far too scared to say anything. What about Joan, where was she during this time, when we were inspecting the photos? I’ll tell you where she was; she was halfway along the lane, with only one thing on her mind, to get away from that house as quickly as possible.
Later on, at home, we inspected the photos again, but no matter how we looked at them, we were still at a loss as to what could have caused the orbs to be in them.
Well, what do you think? Is that house really haunted, or is there another, rational explanation for what appeared in the photos?
I Caught Bird Flu
Blow my nose, atichoo,
Blow my nose and wipe my eyes,
A terrible thing has happened,
And I don’t know why,
I caught bird flu, though I don’t even fly,
Blow my nose and wipe my eyes.
It’s Waiting Especially For You
Don’t be like sheep that creep half asleep,
Each and every day of their lives,
Believing what is said, drummed into their heads,
By those in control, selling lies.
Instead, use your head, and question what is said,
By those who think they can guide,
With false dreams, consumer items and things,
To distract you from what is inside,
Inside of us all, potential so tall,
The Power of the Universe, it’s true,
So look deep inside and search for the light,
Of Creation; waiting especially for you.
Stone The Crows
Stone the crows.
What can you mean?
I said stone the crows.
You are awful green,
To think you can hurt such wonderful birds,
I say stone you too, you are so absurd.
*
Stone the crows.
Not you again!
Stone the crows.
You are not my friend,
To think you can maim such marvellous things,
I say stone you too, you horrible thing!
*
Stone the crows,
It’s a figure of speech!
Stone the crows?
It’s how I speak,
It means, ‘Well I never’ (I won’t harm the birds).
Stone the crows are such wonderful words.
Live a Full Life
Live a full life; filled to the brim.
Enjoy each day as if it’s the last one you win,
Show by example how much we can do,
While here on this plane, this earthly pursuit,
*
And when you are on your death bed, so grim,
You can gaze up from it with a wink and a grin,
Saying, I lived a full life,
it was filled to the brim,
I led by example, never lecturing about sin,
*
Then, closing your eyes for the last time on earth,
You will see angels surrounding you, guiding you forth,
Through the pearliest of gates, you will see your way home,
To God’s heavenly love, sitting adjacent his throne.
The Fertilizer Song
Fertilizer is a thing we don’t always sees,
Though it’s used all the time, know yous this if yous please.
It’s a spread on the ground, all around and around,
The plants that are a needing it, by the once and the pound.
*
Oh, I’s loves my business, where I’m mining the stuff,
I’s carts it around and then I’s bags it right up.
I’s stores it away until it’s needed, for sure,
T’bring on the plants in a glorious rapport.
*
I’m the luckiest, here, elf in charge of this mine,
This wonderful place, the luckiest of finds.
And I’s thank my stars that I’s can be of some help,
T’bring on the plants into a wonderful health.
*
T’end this here ditty, let me tell yous right proud,
If yous ever come t’visit the top of the world,
Yous’ll get a right welcome, and a tour of this mine,
And yous’ll return home again in a new frame of mind.
That’s all there is for now.
See you soon. Bye.