Ian's Gang - The Wedding

by Ian Kidd

CHAPTER THREE

  "Why isn't Carol Braithwaite dead?" Julius demanded of Jack Vance in his control room.

  "Because you keep me calling back here!" Vance was losing his patience.

  "You were supposed to kill her last night."

  "I'm supposed to kill her before she squeals," Vance reminded him. "She ain't gonna squeal. She and Ian's Gang are planning something."

  "She's with Ian's Gang?" Julius was horrified. "My goodness, why don't you just give the Elite my address?!? Vance, what are you playing at - "

  "It's called strategy," Vance told him. "They must all know what effect her return i having on you. They're trying to scare you - and by the looks of things they're succeeding. I don't quite know what they intend to do next, but the ball is in their court - if she intended to inform the authorities, she would have done so by now. We have to relax, Julius, and wait. Carol will die, have no fear and maybe that boyfriend of hers too but never forget that this is a game. Carol - or whoever this doppelganger is - started off the game, it's her turn again. Don't worry - she thinks she's clever, she thinks she's winning, when really we're already at the finish line, waiting for her to catch up, so we can pip her at the post - just to see the look on her face when she realises she'd lost the moment she began."

  "Jack," Julius began, "I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about."

  Claire found Robert alone in his room. "Hi."

  Robert started. "Oh hi, Ca - Claire."

  "Nearly," Claire teased. "Sorry about all this."

  "No need to apologise to me," Robert harrumphed. "It's Matthew most affected by seeing you walking around looking like that."

  "Really?" Claire asked. "I thought you might have been affected by it the same amount, myself."

  Robert looked at her suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

  "Robert, you don't have to pretend with me. I know. Carol knew."

  "Knew what?"

  "That you were in love with her."

  Robert made to deny it, then stopped. "Was I that obvious?"

  "To us, yeah," Claire smiled. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

  "Why would I?" Robert smiled sadly. "Matthew loved Carol. Carol loved Matthew. It's not like there would have been any point. All it would have done is cause trouble and make life uncomfortable for everyone."

  "You're a good friend, Robert," Claire smirked. "Sad really, considering I used to have a crush on you."

  "

  "I said 'used to'," Claire laughed. "But you never noticed me, not with Carol around. Who could blame you?"

  "Always come in second, us, don't we?" Robert acknowledged.

  "I guess," Claire made to go.

  "You haven't said anything to Matt, have you?" Robert asked. "About Carol, I mean?"

  "No," Claire shook her head. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." She left, leaving Robert alone staring at the wallpaper, lost in thought.

  Two days later.

  "Julius," Vance grated his teeth in irritation as he stepped into the Bad Ian's office once again. "These constant calls to see you is becoming aggravating."

  "As is your continuing lack of action," Julius snapped. "I did not hire the most notorious killer in the cosmos for him to sit on his backside!"

  "Your arrogance is overwhelming," Vance snarled. "But fortunately for you I am in a good mood, so I shall refrain from force-feeding you your ears. Here, read this," he tossed a local Maltby newspaper at his employer.

  Julius caught it and read it in agitation. "So?"

  "So I get her at the church. It's perfect," Vance smiled.

  "Perfect?" Julius snorted. "For goodness sakes, Vance, it's a set-up, anyone can see that."

  "Well, of course they can, that's entirely the point," Vance smiled. "They think they're smart, but I'll go in there with enough artillery to blow up Moscow. They won't know what hit 'em."

  "They'll be expecting you!" Julius hissed. "How can you even expect to succeed?"

  "It has come to my attention that my reputation in the universe is being clouded by this Carol Braithwaite affair. Trust me Julius, by the time I've finished, those two won't be being blessed in the eyes of any God - they'll have met him," he chuckled.

  "Just make sure you succeed, Vance," Julius warned him. "Because if you fail, I won't care how good a hit-man you are - I'll deal with you myself."

  "Have no fear," Vance assured him, "Carol Braithwaite is as good as dead already."

  The following Wednesday.

  Maltby's local Catholic Church was the scene for a wedding.

  This was no ordinary day - the bridge and groom were aliens who, Bulgaria aside, had never heard of religion before arriving on Earth except for the Bulgarian crackpots whose religion was mysterious at best (marriage in the Spiridon Sector being simply a formal, legal agreement), the Vicar was really actor Gerald Blake, and the whole proceedings were underscored by a tension that was not being caused by last-minute nerves.

  The gang were assembled in suits, as was Police Chief Steven Brick, and as Matthew stood at the front of his church, awaiting his 'bride', he reflected a trifle bitterly that if things had been different, the girl soon to walk up and say "I do" might well have actually been Carol, and not a doppelganger in a fake ceremony designed to bring a brutal murderer to justice.

  "You alright, Matt?" Robert, standing beside him as his best man, inquired.

  "Why shouldn't I be?" Matthew retorted.

  Robert flinched. "No reason."

  The orchestra began playing "Here Comes The Bride" and Matthew turned to see Claire coming up the aisle, dressed in a stunning, flowing white dress. She looked incredibly beautiful, and for a moment Matthew had to remind himself that this wasn't really happening. Maybe he could make Claire fall for him like Carol had...maybe he could persuade her to keep Carol's face...maybe.

  Claire reached Matthew and smiled at him as they turned to look at the Vicar.

  "Er..." Gerald began nervously. "... in sickness and in health - "

  "You don't do that bit yet!" Matthew hissed. "God, he doesn't even know his lines!"

  "Friends, Romans, Countrymen - " Gerald began again.

  "That's not right, you silly fart!" Claire almost bellowed.

  "Oh yeah, sorry, wrong speech," Gerald fumbled.

  "Couldn't you find anyone better than him?" Claire sighed. "We could at least have hired a good actor!"

  "We are gathered here today, in the eyes of God - "

  "That's not right either, you stupid bastard!" Claire exploded.

  "Er - Claire," Matthew stifled a smirk. "It is, actually."

  "Oh, sorry," Claire smiled apologetically at the actor.

  "We are gathered here today in the eyes of God," Gerald began again.

  "We've had this once, haven't we?" Claire inquired suspiciously.

  "To witness the joining together of this man and this woman in holy matrimony," Gerald continued.

  "I do," Claire cut in.

  "Not yet!" Matthew reproved.

  "Well," Claire groaned, "I'm getting bored. He's so long-winded."

  On the grassy knoll outside the church, Jack Vance waited. As if at some invisible signal, he stood up, smiled, and reached into his pocket.

  "In sickness and in health, from this day forward," Gerald continued.

  "I - " Claire began.

  The church roof blew off.

  Sarah screamed.

  The entire church suddenly became flooded with smoke.

  "Smoke bombs!" Matthew grabbed Claire's arm. "Stay with me."

  "Is that a proposal?" Claire was worse than Matthew for making wisecracks in a crisis.

  Something else was thrown into the smoke-filled church, and it took only a couple of seconds and his eyes streaming for Matthew to work out what it was. "Tear-gas!" he roared above the panic. "Everybody out!" he turned to help escort Claire out of the church, only to see she wasn't there. "Hell," he cried, "Claire, where are you?" In amongst the cries from the gang, he heard a muffled scream and
whirled just in time to see Claire disappearing up the church stairs, being dragged by a man. "Oh, no!" Matthew spat. "Not this time!" he plunged after them.