Darcy, Defined

by Suzanne Williams

  We ran to the end of the corridor before bursting out into laughter. “Those were some good moves back there. I think you’re a natural born spy,” said Sean.

  “Sean? What are you doing here?” We turned to see Ms. Rose standing in front of us, a large stack of essays in her arms.

  “I’m sorry, Ms. Rose. Please don’t kick me out,” he said, as we both tried to regain our composure.

  “He’s just helping me clean. It was totally my idea.”

  “It’s ok. I’m not kicking you out.” She said after looked around “Although, if you want to keep this up, you’ll probably want to keep a lower profile.”

  “Ironically, we did get a little carried away with our spy act. But I swear, it’s just for today,” I said.

  “Ok then, you two,” she said with a smirk. “Just try not to have too much fun.” She started to walk through the door that led to the stairwell, then leaned in toward me. “He’s a keeper, Darcy,” she said into my ear. It was quiet, but not exactly a whisper.

  I smiled and looked at Sean, who was doing his best to nonchalantly look around, as if he hadn’t heard Ms. Rose’s remark. “So, what’s next?” he asked.

  “I guess we’ll head up to the third floor and then come back here to hit the rooms that we missed on the way out.”

  “Alright then, you lead the way.”

  I grabbed the broom and tiptoed my way into the stairwell, like Elmer Fudd from the old-timey Looney Tunes cartoons, with Sean laughing and walking behind me. “So much for being covert,” he said.

  After we finished wiping down the desks in all the classrooms on my list, sweeping the floors and emptying the trashcans, we returned the broom and spray bottles to the supply closet and went outside through the front door. We walked down the steps, and without even thinking I plopped down on one of the benches in front of the school, needing to give my feet a rest.

  “That was really fun,” I said. Sean put down his bucket and sat down beside me. “You know, you’re the only friend who’s ever helped me, and you don’t even go to this school.”

  Sean shrugged. “I knew you were kind of bummed about having to start cleaning again, so I just thought you could use some support.”

  I had already known that Sean was a good friend, but until then, I hadn’t realized how much I’d be able to depend on him. I had thought that our friendship had formed and been held together by convenience, and that having the convenience removed would dissolve whatever bond we’d created. But Sean proved me wrong. He’d shown up when I least expected it when he literally could have gone anywhere else. Ms. Rose’s words echoed in my mind. He’s a keeper. It was true, but did he want to be kept?

  “I’m sorry about the way I left your house on Friday. Seeing you and Molly together made me a little insecure,” I said, finally addressing the elephant in the room.

  “I’m sorry you felt that way. I shouldn’t have let that happen.”

  “It’s ok. You can talk to anyone you want. I mean, it’s not like I’m…” I trailed off, not wanting to even suggest the idea of being his girlfriend for fear of making him run away.

  “Darcy.” Sean moved his body sideways on the bench, allowing him to face me more directly. “Molly’s a good friend of mine. I’ve known her since we were kids and we hang out with a lot of the same people, but I don’t like her like that.” I turned toward him. He took my hand in his and I looked up, meeting his eyes with mine. “I mean, I did at one time, and I guess that’s the main reason I joined Junior Gardeners. But I stayed because I really liked it. I liked the kids and Mr. Brooks and being outside in the garden. And then you showed up and it was even better. I like you, Darcy.”

  I repeated his words silently to myself, letting them linger. It was a simple phrase. I like you. Yet to two sixteen-year-olds it can mean the world. I looked at his face, less than a foot away from mine, and without another thought leaned in and put my mouth against his. A second later he was kissing me back, putting his hands around my waist to pull me in closer.

  After a moment we heard voices coming from the parking lot. I looked over to see Tristan, Matt and a few of the other football players getting into their cars. Tristan stared in our direction, a baffled grimace plastered onto his face. “Who’s that guy?” asked Sean.

  “Tristan. He’s in my English class.”

  “He doesn’t look very happy.”

  “I think he’s just confused.”

  “He doesn’t like that I’m invading his territory.”

  “His territory does not include me.”

  Sean laughed and put his arm around me. “Indeed. You are a sovereign state.”

  We watched as Tristan and the others got into their cars, hooting and hollering about a kegger that someone from the team was supposedly planning for the weekend.

  “You know, I’m glad we don’t have sports at my school,” said Sean.

  “You don’t have any sports?”

  “Nope. We’re far too sophisticated for those locker room antics. Actually, it’s probably because we don’t have enough money.”

  “I wish I had some kind of artistic talent so I could switch to your school,” I said.

  “I bet you do. You could try chorus, or drama maybe.”

  I chuckled at the thought of attempting to sing in front of a panel of judges, shattering glass, but not in the way a young woman wants to. “You’ve never heard me sing. And I don’t think I can act either. Whenever I’m in front of an audience my face turns red and my voice quivers.”

  Tristan pulled his car around the front of the school. “Hey, Darcy,” he shouted as he drove by. “Then again, maybe I could give it a go,” I said.

  “Is this the guy that you told me about before? The one who let you get away?”

  I nodded. “How’d you guess?”

  “I just had a feeling about it. And I was right about him being an idiot. Just let me know if he gives you any trouble at school, ok?”

  “Ok. I will.” I’d never really felt the need for a male protector before, and I didn’t actually anticipate having to tattle on Tristan for anything, but it still felt good to know that Sean had my back.

  I felt my phone buzz. My mom had messaged me, letting me know that she was on her way home and could pick me up if I needed a ride. “Do you want a ride? My mom can bring you home.”

  Sean grinned a toothy smile at me. “I have a surprise for you,” he said.

  “What? A surprise? Just you being here was a surprise!”

  “Come with me. Your chariot awaits.” He stood up and held out his hand. I grabbed my backpack and walked with him into the parking lot, which was almost empty by then. A few rows back was a black Toyota Corolla. Sean took a key fob from his pocket to unlock it, making it beep twice.

  “This is yours?” I asked in astonishment.

  “Yep, as of yesterday afternoon. It’s an early birthday present.” Sean walked around to the passenger side and opened the door.

  “It’s beautiful. And it’s a hybrid,” I said. I quickly texted my mom to let her know I was getting a ride and would see her at home soon. A ride from my boyfriend, I thought. Although, I wasn’t really sure if the boyfriend or girlfriend title was official yet.

  Sean knew the way from my school to my house without asking for directions or using his phone, and I wondered if he had already looked up the route or if he was a naturally good navigator. As he drove, he filled me in on the assignments he had to do for homework and volunteer opportunities he was considering for the winter, including something at Taft Elementary called Reading Buddies. When he stopped at my house, I thanked him for the ride, and he kissed my hand before I stepped out of the car. Somehow, a mundane Monday had turned into one of the most memorable days of my life, a day I knew I would remember for years to come.

  It was all new to me, the concept of having a boy that I liked like me back. What did this mean? How often would I see him? Surely not every day, since we went to separate schools. Every weekend? How often would w
e text or talk on the phone? I’d already met his parents, so at what point would I introduce him to my mom? Or maybe I was wasting my brain energy on something that wouldn’t even last, like with Tristan. Stop it Darcy, I told myself. Just let yourself be happy for five minutes before you start worrying. I took a deep breath and went inside my house. One thing was certain: I needed to talk to Paige.

  Chapter 17

  Several weeks had passed since I had first kissed Sean on the bench in front of my school, and he and I were still going strong. He was now, officially, my boyfriend. After calling Paige that first day, she told me that I needed to make sure our relationship status was official, something I was hesitant to do. “But what if pressing him on it scares him away? I don’t want to seem too needy. Not everyone needs labels, right?”

  “Look, Darcy, if he wants to keep spending time with you, then a simple label isn’t a lot to ask. It’s not like it’s marriage or anything. It’s just to clear up any confusion and make it less complicated.”

  I told her that I would wait a couple of weeks, and that if there was still any uncertainty about it, I’d inquire about it then. But luckily, I didn’t have to. The very next day, Sean came to pick me up after I finished cleaning. “I could get used to this,” I said as he opened the car door for me.

  “I don’t have anything else going on after school right now. The least I can do is give my girlfriend a ride.”

  A smile spread across my face like a pat of butter on a warm piece of bread. I couldn’t have contained it if I’d wanted to. “Are you ok with me calling you that?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Yes, I am.”

  He drove me home with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on top of mine. My mom’s car was already in the driveway, so I knew she was home. “Do you want to come inside?” I asked him.

  “Do you think your mom will like me?” he asked.

  “I don’t see how she couldn’t.”

  “Ok, then. Let’s do it.”

  My mom was pulling items out of the refrigerator when we walked in. She nearly dropped a package of ground turkey when she saw us, but her eyes lit up like fireworks after I introduced her to Sean. “Will you stay for dinner? I’m making tacos.”

  “Taco Tuesday! Yes, please!” said Sean.

  He and I set the table while my mom cooked. I grabbed us each a lemon lime soda from the fridge and poured my mom a glass of wine from a bottle she’d already opened. My mom and Sean hit it off wonderfully. She asked him questions about his school and his family without sounding like a cop or a manager giving a job interview. I gushed about his drawing talent, and he promised to bring his sketchbook into the house the next time he came over. When he was ready to leave, my mom gave him a hug, insisting that she was a hugger (although I hadn’t necessarily known that to be true) and I walked outside with him to his car. He put his hands on the side of my face and gave me a gentle kiss before getting into his car and driving away. Everything about the evening was perfect, like in the beginning of a Lifetime movie before the protagonist realizes that her boyfriend is a serial killer, only I knew Sean wasn’t secretly a serial killer. Everything really was perfect, or as perfect as it could have been.

  And things continued to go that way. The next week, Sean started to volunteer for the Reading Buddies program, so I didn’t see him after school as often, but we still talked on the phone most nights and saw each other every weekend. We went on dates, sometimes to our favorite Indian restaurant Uptown, which happened to be on the same block as an independent movie theater that we’d sometimes go to afterward. Sometimes we’d meet up with his friends from school, either at the bowling alley on Madison Road, between Sean’s and my house, or at his friend Tyler’s house. Tyler is tall, like Sean, but a bit lankier. His signature look is a pair of ripped jeans (it could always be the same pair) and a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His demeanor is the opposite of Sean’s, boisterous and a bit arrogant. Unless you’re in a sprawling mansion, it would be impossible not to know he’s in the same house as you. But still, he’s welcoming and charming and takes charades more seriously than anyone I’ve ever met. He brings out Sean’s inner buffoonery in just the right amount, making the two of them the perfect comedic duo.

  Once we all played I Never, along with their friends Tess and Zane, using some homebrewed kombucha that Tyler had made with his dad. While playing I learned that Sean and I were the only two in the group who had never shoplifted or cheated on a test. I knew all along that I had picked a winner. We were also the only ones in the group who hadn’t lost our virginity, something I felt comforted to know. “And it’s not because Sean hasn’t had the opportunity, Darcy,” said Tyler after he, Tess and Zane each took gulps of the kombucha. “I can tell you that.”

  I raised an eyebrow.

  “He just has higher standards than I do.”

  Tess and Zane laughed. “Well, now that you two have each other,” said Tess, giving me a nudge with her elbow.

  “Maybe next time we’ll all be able to drink to that one.” Zane slapped Sean on the back of his shoulder and gave him a not so coy wink.

  “Quit putting us on blast, you guys,” said Sean. “This matter is for me and Darcy to figure out, not any of you.”

  I smiled at him, relieved he finally put the topic to rest. But once we were along again, it was difficult to ignore it.

  “So, that was interesting,” said Sean while driving me back home.

  “Your friends must think I’m pretty boring. I think I only drank one or two times.”

  “You’re not boring. You just make good choices.”

  “Like saving myself for you. That was a good choice.” I smiled and looked down at my lap, surprised with the boldness of my statement, but I’d have been lying if I’d said it wasn’t something I’d considered.

  “Really? You mean, you want to?” Sean looked at me, a sparkle in his eyes.

  “Well, not right now, but yes, eventually.”

  “Cool. I like the sound of that,” said Sean, nodding emphatically. “I mean, no pressure, but I’m ready when you are.”

  Part of me felt it was necessary to wait, although until when I wasn’t exactly sure. Until I turned eighteen? Until I discussed it with my mom, or a doctor? Until I sought out advice from friends who had more experience and could help me understand what to expect? All I knew was that Sean’s patience and sensitivity toward the topic made me all the more certain about sharing the experience with him, once I was ready.

  Even Paige, whose standards are impeccably high, is consistently impressed with Sean and my relationship with him. Once, Sean and I went on a double date with her and Tom to Tony’s (my suggestion of course), and she later told me that Tom seemed like a “stuffed-shirt” compared to Sean. I had gotten the feeling that she was annoyed with him, especially when he declined to play skee-ball with her (even though Sean and I were both playing), telling her that he’d keep an on the table for us while we played, but I figured her desire to be in a relationship was strong enough to keep it going.

  “I broke up with Tom over the weekend,” she announced at lunch a couple of weeks later.

  I nearly spit out the sip of coconut, mango seltzer water I’d just taken. “Really? Why? What happened?”

  Paige shrugged. “It didn’t feel right anymore. Once the newness and the magic wore off, it just didn’t seem like there was really anything there, you know? Like, I just kind of stopped missing him. And he’s always been so hot and cold. I just don’t want to deal with the drama anymore. Like what you and Sean have. You just have fun together and it seems so uncomplicated. That’s the kind of relationship I want.”

  “Paige, I’m floored, and I’m flattered. I never expected to be the one in the model relationship. I mean, I’m sorry. Are you going to be ok?”

  “I think so,” she said with a sigh. “I just know what I want, and I don’t want to waste any time on something I know isn’t that, especially when it’s not even all that fun.”

&
nbsp; “So, you feel good about it? You don’t regret it?”

  She shrugged. “No, I don’t. In fact, I feel pretty good about it. I mean, he didn’t even try to change my mind, so I think I made the right decision.”

  “Well, Paige, cheers,” I said, holding up my can of seltzer water, clinking it with her can of Diet Coke. “To your newfound independence. I think this will be a good change for you. About how many days do you think it will take you to find a new boyfriend?”

  “Shut up,” she said with a smirk.

  “Oh, I know. You probably need me to help you find one. Here, let me check Peeps and see who’s available.” I began to open up the Peeps app on my phone, scrolling through my friends and saying hmmm and maybe every few seconds.

  “Shut up,” she said again, throwing a crouton from her salad across the table at me.

  “Ok, ok.” I said laughing, tucking my phone back into my backpack. “I only have like ten contacts on there anyway.”

  “Hey guys, can I sit with you?”

  I turned around to see Maya standing behind me with her tray of cafeteria food. “Um, yeah, sure,” I said. I looked at Paige, who was nodding her head with a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah. The more the merrier,” she said.

  Maya pulled out a chair and sat between Paige and I. She smiled uncomfortably as she mixed the dressing into her salad. The three of us were all quiet, and apparently all waiting for someone to break the silence. “I’m sorry if I interrupted something,” said Maya.

  “You didn’t interrupt anything,” I said. I looked at Paige, wondering if her expression would contradict my statement, but she didn’t look annoyed in the slightest.

  “I broke up with my boyfriend. I was just telling Darcy about it. So, that’s the tea.”