Second Thoughts

by Terry O'Reilly

  The dogs were given the sniff test.

  “Not too bad. Now what?” asked Jesse.

  “The bottle said to let them dry, and if they are still stinky repeat the application. Said it may take twelve hours to work completely and after the smell is all gone, give ’em a bath.”

  “We can’t let them in the house. They might get smell all over everything.”

  Nick agreed. “Well, they can’t stay outside by themselves. Guess we’ll have to sleep out here with them.”

  The men were on their knees on either side of their pets, who were intent on getting free and rolling. At Nick’s words, Jesse looked up. Their eyes locked. A shiver ran through him and he felt goose bumps on his arms. “I…I guess that’s what we’ll have to do all right,” he said, almost in a whisper.

  “You hold onto ’em. I’ll get their leashes, my air mattress and some old blankets.”

  As Jesse sat holding the still very damp and slightly odiferous pooches, he tried to be calm and logical.

  Yeah, this was the only thing they could do. But? But what? No problem. Oh, man!

  Nick returned. “How’s it goin’?”

  “Oh, fine,” Jesse said, still in a turmoil. What can happen? We’re outside and the dogs are with us. Why am I thinking of anything happening in the first place anyway?

  Nick went about the business of setting up the bed and spreading out the blankets.

  They sat for a while longer, letting the dogs’ wet fur dry out. Then the men stripped to their boxers and climbed into bed. There was no way the dogs were going to miss out on this: a slumber party on the patio. Both dogs jumped in and nestled between Jesse and Nick.

  Thank God! Jesse thought. But, as they lay there facing each other, Jesse was keenly aware Nick’s eyes were on him, a sweet, wistful smile playing on his lips.

  “Goodnight,” Nick said softly.

  Jesse swallowed hard. “Goodnight,” he mumbled.

  CHAPTER 8

  “Stay a bit longer,” Carter begged. “Tell him your flight was canceled. Tell him it was hijacked. You’re in Cuba and you won’t be home for a week or so.”

  Denny looked into the eyes of the man who held him tightly, chest to chest, their hard cocks pressing between them. He was tempted. Oh, yes, he was tempted. He leaned forward and kissed Carter deeply.

  He shook his head. “He won’t buy it. I’ve been lying so much. He knows enough about my job to know stuff like we pulled to get this extra night doesn’t happen all that often. Especially when I’m over my limit in flight hours for the month.”

  “Tell him about me. Then we won’t have to lie any more.” Denny kissed Carter again and began undulating against him, trying to distract him from the conversation. He wasn’t ready to make that break. He wasn’t sure of Carter and didn’t want to let a good thing go unless he was. There was no doubt he loved this man. His feelings for him were stronger than anything he’d felt for Jesse—or for anyone, for that matter. But this revelation of his attraction toward older men was still confusing him. Then there was Carter himself, the neophyte in the world of man-to-man. No, he wasn’t ready to take a chance.

  His ruse worked. Carter returned the pressure and soon they were engaged in a tongue duel and serious body exploration with their hands. Denny turned away from the older man and raised his leg. Carter easily slipped in, and the two let the sensations of anal coitus drive away the thoughts of how to resolve their relationship issues.

  * * * Jesse felt damp and chilly. He pulled Shelby closer and snuggled her against his chest. The action caused him to become more aware of his surroundings. He opened his eyes. He was on Nick’s patio. Shelby was in his arms, but he felt a warm body spooned behind him. Soft breath was on his neck. An arm was draped over his chest, the hand at the end resting on Shelby’s shoulder next to his. There was something hard and stiff poking him in the crack of his ass. He felt himself responding. He closed his eyes tight and clinched his jaw.

  Count to ten, Jamison. Oh, fuck.

  He tried to think of anything, anything except the sensations flowing through his body. He felt Nick startle: that kind of involuntary twitch that sometimes comes just after sleep begins, or just before waking.

  “Mmmm,” Nick said, stretching, causing his erect dick to slip slightly into Jesse’s crevice. “Oh, shit. Sorry, man.” Nick had evidently woken enough to realize what was happening. He pulled away and rolled on his back.

  Jesse felt both a sense of relief and loss. He, too, rolled over. Shelby got up and licked his face. Clyde, who had been sleeping at the foot of the mattress, lumbered up to Nick and imitated the coon hound’s morning greeting.

  “You don’t smell too bad,” Nick said to the basset lying directly on his chest.

  Glad nothing was mentioned about the way the men had awakened, Jesse sniffed Shelby.

  “She can definitely do with a little more de-skunking.”

  Nick raised his arm to look at his watch. “Six-twenty-six,” he said. “I’ve got that all-district thing this morning.”

  The way he said it let Jesse know Nick needed some help.

  “Don’t worry. I have the day off. I’ll take care of the dogs’ baths and get these blankets washed. They probably smell, too. Hard to tell when you’ve been sniffing it all night.”

  “You’re sure?” Nick said.

  “Yeah, it’s fine. Go get ready for school, teacher.”

  “You’re the greatest,” Nick said and, before Jesse knew how to respond, Nick rolled toward him and kissed him. Then in a flash he was gone.

  Jesse lay back down. His mind swirled. He didn’t like the feelings he was having. That wasn’t true; he did like the feelings he was having. He pulled Shelby close to him. What a contrast to the way Denny would have handled this situation with the dogs.

  “What’s going on, girl?”

  She wagged her tail and licked his face.

  * * * Nick stood in the shower, leaning his head against the tiles as the water cascaded down his back.

  What the fuck did you do that for? You kissed him. Yeah, it was just a quick kiss, but…you kissed him. And worse, you wake up with your arm around him and your fuckin’ dick in his ass crack. Then you run off like a frickin’ teenage kid.

  He straightened up and shook himself. Get a grip, Warden. He’s taken, and that’s that. He began soaping himself. Yeah, but there’s some stuff goin’ on with Denny, but… “Warden, get a grip!” he said aloud as he rinsed and got out of the shower.

  Nick put on a terry robe and walked to the living room. Through the sliding door he saw Jesse, working the last of the dog shampoo into Clyde’s coat. Shelby was lying nearby, leashed to the table leg, looking not too excited about the proceedings.

  Nick walked to the door, slid it open a crack not wanting to risk a doggie greeting that would undo his just finished preparations for work.

  “Everything going all right?”

  Jesse looked up, smiled, and said, “Yeah, super. You have a good day at work. I’ll see you when you get home and you can tell me all about it.”

  Nick smiled back. “Okay, I’ll see you later then. I’ll pick up more de-skunk stuff on the way home.”

  This is the way it would be, should be…if only… Nick didn’t let himself finish the thought.

  CHAPTER 9

  Just as Jesse and a damp Shelby were coming into the condo through the patio door carrying a pile of blankets, Denny walked into the living room. Jesse noticed his keys were in his hand. He wasn’t dressed in flight blues.

  “How come you smell like skunk?” Denny asked as Shelby trotted across to him. He ignored her greeting as he always did.

  Jesse repressed the urge to give a sarcastic retort.

  “Shelby and Clyde met up with one last night,” he said instead. “You just getting home?”

  “Yeah, just walked in the door.”

  “You wore those to work?” Jesse said, indicating Denny’s shorts and sleeveless tee.

  Jesse saw a look akin to a de
er in the headlights cross Denny’s face.

  “I…uh…changed at the airport.”

  “But all three of your uniforms are in the closet,” Jesse said, recalling the other strange, suspicious events of the past few days.

  Again, Denny looked uncomfortable. After a brief hesitation, he said, “They’re issuing new ones. You know we just merged with Delta…phasing out the old Northwest stuff. Mine didn’t fit quite right…so I turned it back in after the flight.”

  The explanation, while improbable, seemed plausible enough. Jesse chose to accept it rather than give in to the disquieting feelings frequently being raised lately.

  “What’re the blankets for?” Denny asked.

  “Oh, we couldn’t bring the dogs in cuz of the smell, so we slept outside with them on the patio.”

  “We?” Denny said, raising an eyebrow.

  “Nick and I,” Jesse said. “What?” he asked, catching the accusing expression on Denny’s face.

  “What? You tell me what!” Denny said, looking angry.

  “Dennis! What do you think? We were out on the patio next door to Kloswick, the peeping Tessie, and we had two skunked dogs with us. What could’ve happened? What’s going on with you?”

  “I don’t like the idea of my ‘supposed boyfriend’ sleeping around,” Denny said and stomped out of the room.

  Astonished at his behavior, Jesse stood for a moment, then shook his head. He took the blankets to the basement and stuffed them into the washer. That done, he came back upstairs and found Denny in the bedroom in his briefs, getting ready for a shower.

  “What do you mean, ‘supposed boyfriend’?” You know how I feel about you. Nick and I didn’t—wouldn’t—do anything. We agreed to be monogamous, remember? I’d never cheat on you any more than you would on me. You know that.”

  Denny looked uneasy. The doorbell rang. “You better get that,” he said.

  * * * Denny lathered himself up. As he did, his mind briefly entertained the thought that he was washing Carter off: his sweat, his cum, his scent. The mild stimulation he felt at the memory of his night with his lover brought a mixed reaction. He had nearly blown it by not taking a uniform with him the previous night. He had been so hot to get to his paramour he hadn’t thought ahead, hadn’t thought of what to do when he got home covered in Carter.

  Thank God the frickin’ dog got skunked.

  Jesse would have expected sex. He would have been sure to sense something. And the blankets, they had helped, too. Denny had misgivings thinking of Nick and Jesse spending the night together, but it had made for an excuse to divert attention from him. He did feel guilty, though, when Jesse reminded him of their promise of monogamy. Here he was breaking that promise and at the same time pretending to feel jealous of Nick. Maybe Carter was right. Maybe he should just come clean and all this subterfuge would be done with. Well, he was clean and fresh now. Maybe a good session of morning sex with Jess would smooth things over, and he would have time to think about his next move.

  Stimulated and thoughts of guilt under wraps, he stepped out of the shower and began to towel off, walking into the bedroom just as Jesse returned.

  “Who was at the door?” he asked, repressing the urge to make another comment about Nick in light of his plan to entice Jesse into some physical recreation.

  “Mrs. Kloswick,” Jesse said, hardly looking at Denny as he sorted through the mail he had evidently picked up while answering the door. “Her niece is back in town, and she’s invited us over for dinner this weekend to welcome her.”

  Denny walked past Jesse, taking the letters from him and tossing them on the dresser. He took him by the hand and pulled him toward the bed.

  “Hasn’t she gotten the idea neither of us is interested?” he asked as he lay down and continued to draw Jesse after him.

  Jesse resisted. Instead of lying next to him, he turned and sat on the edge of the bed. “She’s invited Nick.”

  “So, the old matchmaker is trying again. You’d think she’d get the picture,” said Denny as he repressed the irritation spawned by Jesse’s lack of response to his advances. Instead, he lightly drew circles on Jesse’s back with his fingers.

  He felt Jesse tense beneath his touch. “Jess?”

  Jesse turned and looked at him. Denny smiled his most charming smile. He put his hand on Jesse’s cheek and tried to get him to lean into a kiss.

  “Not this time, Denny.”

  “What?”

  “Not till we get some things straight between us. I’m not going to let that charm of yours sweep your behavior of the past few weeks under the rug this time.”

  Denny dropped his hand, slid up against the headboard and crossed his arms over his chest. He felt a wave of panic, but covered it with his usual bravado.

  “Okay, so what has bad boy Denny done that’s so fuckin’ terrible?”

  He expected Jesse to bring up the mix-up of cities in Florida, the cell phone call from Carter and the uniform: all the things that pointed to his ongoing affair. He was mentally preparing his defense. But he was off target and was taken aback by what Jesse said next.

  “I don’t understand your jealousy of Nick. Why would you think there’s something going on between us? You know I’m committed to you. You know I’ll wait until you’re ready to go farther with our relationship. But you’re so…grumpy…I guess is the word. Making rude comments to Nick, bringing up suspicions and making accusations. Why, Denny? What have I done to make you feel that Nick and I are fooling around behind your back?”

  Denny felt a sense of relief, as well as a twinge of guilt.

  Dear, sweet Jesse, only you would miss the obvious and assume it was something you were doing that’s making me edgy, instead of something that’s going on with me.

  He felt a surge of love for his boyfriend. He entertained the thought—albeit briefly—of letting the thing with Carter die on the vine before any real damage was done to his relationship with Jesse. But he realized he was too far into his liaison with the older man and too attracted to him to call it off now.

  Instead he took advantage of Jesse’s innocent nature and tap danced. “Jess, you’re an attractive guy. Nick is, too. He’s a nice guy as well,” he added for emphasis. “I’ve been busy with work…flying a lot. I guess I feel guilty being away so much. I guess I’m just afraid it’s driving you away from me and you’d rather be with a guy who doesn’t run off every few days for a week at a time…someone who comes home to you every night and all that.”

  He dropped his eyes and put on his most pitiable expression. He waited for Jesse’s response. He didn’t have to wait long.

  “You jerk,” Jesse said tenderly. He put his hand under Denny’s chin and lifted it so their eyes met. “Sure, it’d be nice to have that kind of set-up: home every night, long, leisurely evenings together, weekends to play and explore. But we don’t. I knew that wasn’t going to be the plan when I hooked up with a flight attendant. I chose you anyway…cuz I love you, Dennis Christopoulos.”

  Denny pretended to force a smile. He pressed his lips together as if trying not to cry. If only he could tear up on cue. All he could manage in that department was to blink and squint a little to give the illusion.

  Jesse leaned forward and kissed him, gently, tenderly.

  Gotcha, Denny thought.

  * * * * As he dressed for Mrs. Kloswick’s dinner party, Nick was glad he had had a call from Jesse, checking on how Clyde was doing after the skunk episode. He would have been nervous about meeting Mrs. K.’s niece, Angela, except Jesse had assured him both he and Denny had been through this. They’d discovered Angela to be a very nice young woman who found her aunt’s attempts at matchmaking amusing. So, as he tied his tie and applied gel to his hair, he found himself in a good mood. He hadn’t seen Jesse since the night they had spent together on the patio with the dogs, and he missed him. He again assured himself those feelings were based strictly on friendship and nothing more.

  “Well,” he said to Clyde, who sat in the
doorway of the bathroom watching the proceedings, “do I pass muster?” “Woof,” came Clyde’s low bark. The effort raised his front paws slightly off the floor.

  Nick chuckled. “Thanks, bud.”

  He bent down and scratched the hound’s long, silky ears.

  “Be good. I’ll be back later to take you for a…you know what.” Nick avoided the magic word. “If we’re lucky, maybe Jesse and Shelby will come with us.”

  At Shelby’s name, Clyde woofed again.

  “Yeah, I feel the same,” Nick mused, trying to keep himself from thinking of Jesse in a “more than a friend” way. After rising, he walked to the bedroom door, partially closed it and inspected his reflection in the full length mirror: light blue, striped Oxford button down, striped tie in complementary colors, beige Dockers, black belt and loafers. He smiled at his reflection. Satisfied he looked reasonably enough like a teacher to make Mrs. K. happy and impress Angela—and maybe Jesse, he thought involuntarily. He closed the door and walked to the kitchen. He took a bottle of Chardonnay from the fridge and went to the front door. Clyde followed him.

  “Sorry, bud, but you’re on duty. Take care of the house.”

  The dog looked left and right before ambling off into the living room.

  Nick arrived at Mrs. Kloswick’s walkway at the same time Jesse and Denny emerged from their condo. He stood and waited for them. As they approached, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy. The two men walked toward him hand in hand. Both were handsome and fit. They made the perfect couple.

  Perfect except for Denny’s personality. Nick admonished himself for the negative thought.

  “Hi, guys,” he said as they walked up to him.

  Jesse and Denny acknowledged his greeting.

  “What’d you bring?” Denny asked, indicating the bottle in the crook of Nick’s arm.

  “Chardonnay. You?” Nick responded, nodding to the bottle Denny carried.

  “Pinot Noire. Good, a white and a red. I got it at a quaint little winery in France. It’s a ’97, a very good year. Where did you get yours?”

  “Dennis!” Jesse said with a jab in his ribs.