The Christmas Kiss

by Virginia McCullough

  “Look at the sparrows hopscotching through the trees,” Parker said, pointing to the low branches where the small birds looked like they were chasing each other. “Most of those sparrows won’t go very far. Maybe down into Southern Illinois or maybe as far as Tennessee. They’ll be back.”

  She lowered her camera and pointed to the patches of light and tried to catch the sense of movement. “What a sight. We used to see herons at the edge of the marsh. Maybe they’ll come back.”

  He waited while she turned her back to the woods and shot some photos of the Abbot house across the lake. “Mike’s house looks so different now with a new coat of paint and the green trim. It had turned a muddy beige color with age.”

  “I bet a lot of people will be drawn to that lookout point,” Parker said, leading the way up a narrow path to the raised half-circle platform, where Bill and Will came into view. “It’ll give visitors a good view of the geese—I’ve been told quite a few hang around all year round.”

  “I don’t think any of us imagined a boardwalk that branches out and offers lookout points like this.” Emma made her way closer to the Riveras working in tandem, one on the platform, one on the ground to secure the supports. Both men stopped and waved.

  “Pay no attention to me,” Emma hollered. “I’m doing the slideshow for the open house and I want you in it. You’re a big part of the relaunch.”

  When Emma was done with her pictures, they retraced their steps and stopped at the pier.

  “I know for sure I don’t need even one more photo from this pier, but I can’t resist.”

  “I’ve been bringing my coffee down here in the morning so I can have a look when it’s barely light,” Parker said. “Funny, Nic was surprised at how beautiful it is around here. I think she expected all corn and soybean fields. Lakes and rivers and woods like these weren’t part of her image of Illinois. Needless to say, she’s impressed.”

  “That’s great.” Emma smiled. “She looked gorgeous on Halloween in her blue dress. A real princess. Jason greeted her like an old pal.”

  “She showed me photos of all of you.” His heart was thumping hard again, but this time with apprehension.

  “We had fun with those. I think my ballerina costume impressed her a little.”

  “What an understatement,” Parker said. “She was blown away by you in your dancer dress.”

  “I’m glad I spent some time with Nic. She seemed a little sad at first, but perked up when she described her Halloweens as a kid.” She cocked her head. “You raised a lovely daughter.”

  His face heated up. “Her mom, Jackie, gets most of the credit.”

  “I see I’ve embarrassed you,” Emma teased. “Kind of you to give Jackie credit, but a good dad is worth a lot. She’s a kick, that girl of yours. She was telling me about the year she dressed up like a garden in bloom.”

  Another one of Nic’s trips down memory lane. Sometimes remembering those special Halloween adventures hurt. Like now. “Nic and Jackie went all out for Halloween. I don’t know how she did it, but Jackie came up with all types of costumes. Nic was a cute little astronaut one year. It started with a silver snowsuit and took off from there.” He laughed. “Oops, bad pun.”

  “Very bad,” Emma said, somberly.

  Emma meant well, but all she did was make him feel bad about not showing up at that party, like Nicole wanted. He just couldn’t force himself to do it.

  “You seemed so resistant to coming to the town party,” Emma said, “like it was kind of a waste of your time—”

  “I didn’t mean it that way,” he interrupted.

  “Well, that’s how it came off. Even to Nicole.”

  “You’re crossing into territory you know nothing about, Emma.”

  She stared at the lake where half a dozen geese were gathering at the shore. She lifted her camera, but lowered it again. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, but Nicole was watching for you, like she thought you might change your mind.”

  “How do you know that?” he challenged.

  “Because I was there. She told me all about Halloween being bigger than Christmas in your family.”

  Her voice rose with each word, in an intense, but not angry way.

  “Look, Emma. Hear me out.” He gripped the railing. “I wish I’d gone to the town hall party, but it’s too late. When Nic came home, she was full of stories, but I saw her sadness. The truth is she probably missed Jackie. Halloween, all of it, was the best time of the year with her mom.”

  Emma tapped her mouth with her fingertips. “This is so not my business, but I...”

  “But you put it on the table. Truth is, it was my favorite holiday, too, probably because I caught Jackie’s enthusiasm when we were first married.” Seeing his knuckles turning white, he released his hands and leaned on his forearms. “I should have gone for Nic. I don’t miss Jackie, but I miss all the hoopla around the holiday.”

  “Now that makes sense.” Emma turned to face him. “My nosiness aside, I think your daughter is wonderful...smart and funny. She sure works hard.”

  “Yes, she does.” Parker shook his head. “I’m adjusting to living in a place that triggers so many memories for me. You, Mike, Ruby and others talk about the old days and it strikes a chord in me. You’re all so connected.”

  She tilted her head toward him. “I’m sure we’ve worn you out with our stories about this place and especially Hidden Lake.”

  “No, that’s not it. I had a life and connections. I liked it. But it all blew up. Something as trivial as the big deal over Halloween made me aware of what I’d lost.” He smiled sadly. “So, that’s my confession. For a little while I missed what I had.”

  When it came to Nic, it was too difficult to explain that he didn’t miss her mom, but couldn’t help himself from mulling over some of his memories of their years raising Nic. Not to mention, on days like Halloween, he missed the little girl who called him Daddy. For years he joked it was his favorite word in any language.

  Emma studied his face and gave him a fleeting smile. “I’m sorry for bringing it up, but I feel like I know you a little better now.”

  “I’m glad,” he whispered in a voice more intimate than he’d intended. But he didn’t regret it.

  “I better go.” She stuck her camera in her pack. “I can’t wait to get these on the computer and find the gems.”

  “I can’t wait to see them,” he said.

  “That reminds me. Why don’t you come over for dinner on Friday? I’ll have started working on the slideshow. But I have an ulterior motive, too. I need to ask a favor. Nothing big.”

  Parker smiled as they left the pier, happy to know that she trusted him this much. “Big or small, Emma, doesn’t matter.”

  “Thanks.” She added, “Asking that was easy. I look forward to seeing you Friday.”

  He felt the same, although he didn’t seem to know the words to express how much.

  * * *

  “THE SMELL OF your pot roast is even stronger up here on the ladder,” Parker said, sniffing the air.

  “Part of my master plan,” Emma said, “to keep you working hard for your reward of wine and dinner.”

  “So you’re a schemer.” Parker tapped the nail to secure the picture hook. Then he lifted the frame out of Emma’s hands and slipped the wire over the hook. He stepped down off the ladder and stood back to check the spacing. “Looks good.”

  “Perfect,” Emma said. “Two down, two to go.”

  “You are one talented woman.”

  She murmured a quick thank-you as Parker stared at the close-up shot of three monarch butterflies, so close together their wings appeared to form a single flower with yellow-and-black petals. It was one of her favorite photos. In the background, marigolds and blazing star were hazy, which made the butterflies pop out. The one first one they hung was a panoramic view of the who
le butterfly garden. “Many talents.”

  “I have fun with photography. That’s why I volunteered to do the slideshow.” And it gave her a reason to be part of the open house.

  “Stacey pointed out that three of the six posters hanging at the reception were yours. You’re a pro,” he said, moving the stepladder a few inches along the wall in her office. “Many people think they can do nature photography, but it isn’t as easy as it looks. I’m sure you’ve discovered that.”

  She shrugged. “In a college photo class, as a matter of fact. I got better with practice. I’ve got albums going years back. Quite a few from my trips with Ruby. After my fall, I had to put the hobby aside.”

  “You must have missed it.”

  “By the time the butterfly garden was created, I was mobile again.” She smiled. “Voila, the fruits of post rehab.”

  Parker measured the space for the bottom two photos, and then got back on the ladder and tapped in the hook. Emma handed him the photo, a shot of a single monarch sitting on the corner of a bench. “The bench is brought to you by the amazing Rivera father-son enterprise.” Emma laughed. “They worked fast in the spring to get the flowers in. The garden attracted mostly monarchs.”

  “And it’s on your land?”

  “Makes it easy for me to walk over and see it.”

  “You like to mix things up, don’t you?” Parker asked from his perch on the ladder. “I noticed on your living room shelves you have a photo of the butterfly garden next to one of Ruby on a walking trail in Italy. You’ve got Jason and Mike playing with Peach next to a shot of an old roadside vegetable stand. Extraordinary, really.”

  “I like the idea of having a blend of sleek and modern with warm and vintage,” Emma said.

  “You have the photographs of deer in curlicue frames. Seeing deer in the mist at dawn never gets old, does it? Are they yours?” he asked, pointing his chin toward the pictures.

  She nodded. “From last spring. Mixing things up is—for some reason—my way of working with photos. I’ve been accused of being overly organized, maybe even a little rigid. My photos and art are my rebellion against order.” She laughed like she’d told a joke.

  “You don’t seem rigid to me. And your house is warm and inviting. Not just from the scent of pot roast warmth, although that helps.” Parker looked around again. “I look around and see the parts of your life you value. Friends, Bluestone River...”

  She looked into his eyes, which were filled with curiosity. “Very perceptive of you, Mr. Nature Lover. But I suppose you see detail in places where the rest of us don’t think to look.”

  He looked restless, almost fidgety.

  “Is something wrong, Parker?”

  “A game of tug-of-war is going on inside me. Should I or shouldn’t I ask about your husband. You haven’t said much about Neil. What was he like?”

  “True, I don’t talk about him much.”

  Parker nervously cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I got nosy.”

  “After the probing I’ve done, I’m the expert. You don’t get to take my title.” She grinned.

  “It’s just that it must be hard to lose your husband at such a young age.” He turned to put the fourth hook in the wall.

  “He deserved more years, Parker,” she said, giving him the last photo. “I’m not just saying that. I’ll always feel sad—and even a little guilty—that he didn’t get another chance. I don’t really mind talking about him, but there’s not much to say. About us, I mean.”

  Parker didn’t look convinced. He hung the fourth photo, a picture of a hummingbird in flight over a bed of day lilies, and then got off the ladder. They stood side by side for a final check of even spacing and level corners.

  “I’m glad you brought him up. I’m in the habit of not talking about him because he was so well known here. People thought a lot of him.” She moved away from Parker, rested her hip on her desk. “The other day you talked about envying the connections so many of us around here have that go way back. It stuck in my mind. I get it. I’m grateful every day for Ruby and Mike.”

  He folded the ladder and stayed put as Emma lowered her gaze and rubbed her thumb across the palm of her other hand. “He was a good guy—for someone else. But Neil and I shouldn’t have been married at all. We had a little harmless teenage romance and mistook it for grown-up love. And we refused to end it when we should have.”

  Parker started to say something, but closed his mouth.

  “What? You were about to say something?”

  Parker hesitated. “I admit I’m not the chattiest guy, but thought I should acknowledge what you said. But no words came to me. You took me by surprise.”

  “It’s okay. It’s hard to explain why I’m sad for Neil, but never went through what you’d call typical grieving. No one knows this except Ruby, and now Mike, but we’d agreed to see a lawyer about a quick divorce. And before we could even make the first appointment, he died.”

  When she lifted her eyes to meet his gaze, she saw kindness in his face.

  “It’s not complicated. Neil and I refused to take no for an answer.” She mimicked a “go team” gesture. “We kept trying.”

  “Nothing wrong with that,” he said sharply.

  Without knowing why, she’d hit a nerve. “Maybe for some couples, but it was wrong for us.” She bit her lower lip and tried to find a way to explain what happened. “We weren’t trying to mend something workable. We were wrong for each other in the first place.”

  Parker widened his stance and crossed his arms. “I want to ask you something, but if I’m being too personal, tell me to shut up. Okay?”

  Emma answered in a dry tone. “Sure, now that I’ve said this much, it’s not likely to get too personal.”

  “Did you and Neil ever try counseling?”

  Emma sputtered her laughter.

  “You surprised me again,” Parker said.

  “The question was so easy. Yes, we tried it. Many times. We were real troupers.” She let her head drop as if worn out. “For a solid year we drove to Nelson Grove, a town more than halfway to the Mississippi River, to see a guy who was supposed to be a miracle worker.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Uh-huh. In our case, though? Not so much. We weren’t miracle material.”

  “I’m sorry...but you get credit for hanging in and trying to make it work.”

  She held up her hand. “No, don’t. We spent half our time in counseling learning how to communicate better, and the other half wishing we had something to say. We kept up a good front for our families—and everyone else.” She groaned. “It’s sad, because he was a good man. And that’s why I regret he died without getting a second chance. It’s also why no one in his family and his friends know we’d agreed to split before he died. It was deceptive to keep that to myself, but it was kinder.”

  The room got very quiet. In a good way, Emma thought.

  Finally, Parker said, “I asked Jackie—more than once—to try to fix what had gone wrong for us.”

  “And she refused?”

  “Flat out. As it turned out, instead of working on us, she had an affair and one day she left.”

  An image of Nicole in her tiara and blue dress flashed in front of Emma. “And Nicole isn’t over it yet, is she?”

  Parker shook his head. “No. Even worse, she thinks her mom isn’t doing so well. Nic expects her to pull into the sanctuary driveway one day. Unannounced. I think that’s why Nic can seem like a happy college girl one minute and a moping teenager the next.”

  Emma’s stomach dropped with a thud. “You’re probably right.” Maybe Parker was just as torn as his daughter. She started out of the room. “Come on into the kitchen. I promised you a glass of wine. We can talk there.”

  He followed her down the hall. “Oh, by the way, my mom is coming to visit in December.”

 
“Really? I guess we’ve never talked about your family. Is Nicole excited about seeing her grandma?”

  “Oh, yeah. She’ll probably tell you about it the next time she sees you. Mom’s a high school counselor. She’s going to a conference not far from here, so she’ll add on two extra days to come to see us.”

  “Very cool.” Emma got out glasses and held up a bottle of red wine.

  He nodded. “Red is good. Nic pointed out that neither of us is set up for a houseguest, so we’ll make a reservation for her in one of the hotels out by the highway.”

  Emma poured the wine and handed it to him. “I’ve got a better idea. I’ve got so much room. She could have Ruby’s room. It has its own everything. It’s a lovely room that’s empty all the time now. I can show it to you.”

  He waved her off. “No, no. I take your word for it. But I don’t want to put you out.”

  “You wouldn’t be. You’d be doing me a favor. It would be fun for me.”

  He let out a hoot. “Come to think of it, my mom is gregarious and a lot of fun. I’m sure she’d find you very intriguing. Okay, I accept your offer.”

  “We have a deal.” She held out her glass for a toast.

  Smiling, he touched his glass to hers.

  As Emma got their dinner on the table, she was lighter, freer. With the truth about her marriage out in the open, she had nothing to hide from Parker now.

  CHAPTER SIX

  PARKER TOOK THE hot pumpkin pie out of the oven and set it aside to cool. The scent alone made the day a little brighter. “Smell that, Nic? I’ve created a masterpiece. Again.”

  Nicole sat at the table, knees bent and heels resting on the edge of the chair. Her phone was on the table instead of in her hands. For once. “Bragging a little, Dad?”

  “Go easy on me,” he said with a laugh. “I don’t have that many specialties. Pumpkin pie is one of them.”

  Nic took a deep breath. “It is such an awesome smell.”

  As he ran hot water in the sink to wash up the bowls and measuring cups he was struck by his upbeat mood. He was eager to kick off the holidays that were going to be so much better than last year’s. Right before Thanksgiving, Jackie told him she was leaving, but wanted to wait to tell Nicole until after the holidays. One last holiday cycle as a family, she said. Parker regretted going along with her on that. Later, when the truth came out, Nic had been furious with both of them and called them a couple of fakers. He didn’t blame her.