The Long Way Home

by Liz Isaacson

  “All right.” River didn’t know what else to say.

  “In fact, I broke off the beginning of a relationship with someone else.”

  “Who was it?”

  “You don’t know her.” Flex and tighten. Flex and tighten. “She’s…young.” He cleared his throat, and it sounded like he was gargling rocks. “I have to go.”

  She moved across the seat and opened the passenger door. She climbed out, turned back and leaned into the truck, and said, “I’m sorry, Ty.”

  He didn’t look at her. Didn’t move at all. “I’ll call you later.”

  She nodded and closed the door. He left a moment later, and for the second time that day, River’s stomach squirmed as she watched him drive away from her.

  Chapter 10

  River buried her feelings in flour and sugar, stirring in white chocolate chips, milk chocolate chips, and semi-sweet chocolate chips. She knew her time with Ty was limited to weekends only. So why had she said “maybe” about going to pond tomorrow after church? The connection between them was as strong and hot as ever, as if she hadn’t married someone else, lived with him for nine years, and borne two of his children.

  Ty adored chocolate, if his inhalation of her mother’s chocolate cake last weekend was any indication. And she couldn’t face him without bringing a gift to apologize for her behavior. She didn’t remember everything being so hot and cold with them previously, but now she either wanted him to hold her hand, breathe her in, and kiss her, or she needed him to take a giant step back. Slow down. Give her space and time to think.

  She scooped cookies onto the sheet, the oven heated and ready. “That’s because you don’t trust how you feel,” she muttered to herself. And she didn’t. John had taken a lot from her when she’d found out about his mistress, but the biggest one was her confidence to believe in herself. She thanked the Lord everyday that she’d already earned her degree so she didn’t have to try to convince herself she was smart enough to help other people with their personal problems.

  She’d been excited about the job at Silver Creek, because she knew it would never involve couples counseling. She wouldn’t have to reveal how fraudulent she felt to fix relationships. After all, she hadn’t been able to fix her own.

  She slid the cookies into the oven and set the timer, thinking through the painful months in Las Vegas. Painful months she couldn’t get back. Painful months she wouldn’t want to repeat, but also painful months she was glad she’d endured.

  She’d tried to fix her marriage with John. She’d been willing to forgive him, go to counseling with him, put everything behind them and start over. She’d been willing because of Lexi and Hannah, then only three and one.

  But he hadn’t been willing, and that had taken everything from her. She’d never felt so unwanted, and she’d tried to shield her girls from that. Thankfully, they were young enough not to understand much, and John worked long hours anyway, so his physical departure from the house was mostly an emotional crisis for River alone.

  She’d requested full custody, citing John’s complete unwillingness to attend counseling to repair the relationship, and had won. He hadn’t even fought her on it, another testament to how unlovable and unnecessary to him she was.

  Las Vegas became the place where River became obsolete, but she couldn’t leave until everything was final. When it was, she packed up, sold the house, and headed north. She hadn’t regretted it for a single day—until today. Until she made the usually-jovial and good-natured Ty Barker upset.

  The timer went off, and River startled away from the kitchen counter where she’d been lost in thought. She checked the cookies, set them for one more minute, and picked up her phone.

  She called Ty, sure he’d ignore her if she just texted. She wasn’t much of a texter anyway. After everything with John, she’d learned it was always better to talk things out. She half-chuckled, half-sobbed as she realized she hadn’t done with Ty what she’d learned to do. She hadn’t spoken her mind, hadn’t told him how she was feeling. Just like he’d said.

  “River Lee?” His voice penetrated the fog in her mind, and it sounded like it wasn’t the first time he’d said it.

  “Yeah.” She straightened. “Yes. Ty, hello.” The reason for her call escaped her and she fumbled for her next words. Ty let her suffer in her silence, and she finally blurted, “I made cookies.”

  “That’s great, sweetheart. Congratulations.”

  “I was wondering if you were still at your mom’s.” The timer went off and River pulled the cookies from the oven and set them on the stovetop. “Maybe you’d be more accepting of my apology if you were sweetened up a little.”

  “I’m perfectly sweet,” he said, scoffing. “How many cookies have you eaten?”

  “None, yet. They just came out of the oven.”

  “Eat a couple and then call me back.” He hung up without telling her if he was still at his parents’ house or not. She pulled the phone from her ear and stared at it, sure he had just covered the end of his phone and that was why the line had gone dead. But no, the call had ended.

  Fury and frustration combined into a powerful tornado in her core. She dialed him back, one hand on her hip. He answered on the first ring. “Wow, did you stuff those two cookies in your mouth?”

  “Did you just hang up on me?”

  “No,” Ty said. “I’m in a dead spot.”

  River huffed. “You’re a big fat liar.”

  “I’m parked out front if you want to bring me some cookies.” He chuckled, the sound coming through her phone still shiver-inducing. “And I’m going to hang up now.”

  “Fine,” she said, ripping the phone away from her ear and hanging up before she had to listen to his side go silent again. She glanced at the still-sheeted cookies, seriously considering chucking them in the trashcan.

  The scent of warm sugar and chocolate got the better of her, and she plucked a cookie from the tray and bit into it. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and Ty would have to have damaged taste buds not to enjoy this treat. After only one bite, he’d have to be more accepting of her apology. She slapped several cookies onto a paper plate, called down the hall that she was running outside for a second, and pulled open the front door. Shoeless, she ran across the front lawn to Ty’s truck, which idled in its spot on the curb.

  She slid the cookies across the seat toward him before climbing in. “I only ate one, just so you know.”

  “Hmm.” He selected a cookie and held it toward her.

  “I don’t need to be sweetened up.”

  “Neither do I.”

  “You were angry with me.”

  “You implied I was dating a bunch of women, including you, at the same time.”

  “I know.” She reached for the cookie and pinched it between two fingers. He didn’t let go, and the moment between them locked. She couldn’t look away from him even if she wanted to—and she didn’t. “I’m sorry about that. I—” River swallowed at the same time Ty released the cookie.

  She lifted it to her lips and took a bite. She chewed slowly, watching Ty’s throat as he swallowed as if he were the one eating the treat. “I am a master baker.” Her voice sounded breathy and weak, and she leaned toward Ty.

  He slanted toward her too, and River’s eyes drifted closed as she took another bite. “You should have one.”

  “I will.” He took a cookie and leaned back, breaking the spell between them. River’s muscles quivered and collapsed, everything inside her going soft.

  She waited until he finished, until he said, “That was delicious.” His fingers scrabbled over hers until they aligned. “Thank you.”

  River squeezed his hand, the words she needed to say crowding her mouth. “Ty, I—I just need more time than normal girls do.”

  “More time for what?”

  “More time to figure things out. How I feel. What I want to do after church tomorrow. That kind of stuff.”

  “I have time.”

  She turned her hea
d toward him. “Do you?”

  “For you, River Lee, I’d wait forever.”

  Ty couldn’t believe he’d said such a romantic thing. He’d felt it though. Wanted to give River Lee the time she clearly needed. The alternative if he didn’t wasn’t acceptable to him.

  A smile bloomed on her face, highlighting her best features: her eyes, her lips, and her neck.

  “That’s a nice thing to say,” she said, her head lolling back to the center. He felt forever far away from her, though only a few feet separated them and he was holding her hand.

  “I have a question for you,” he said. “And you might want to take the week to think about how to answer it.”

  “The whole week?” Her tension skyrocketed, and Ty wished he didn’t quite have the same senses as horses did to perceive how others felt.

  “I mean, I won’t see you until next Saturday.”

  “I’ll see you after church tomorrow. We can take Lexi to the duck pond.”

  Hope soared through Ty, and he smiled, deciding on the spot to press his luck. “What about at church? Maybe you’d let me sit by you.” He lifted their joined hands. “Do something like this.”

  She grinned, a lazy smile that made him want to fast-forward through time. “Is this allowed in church?”

  “I think so, sure.”

  “Have you ever held a woman’s hand in church?”

  A bit of embarrassment leaked through him, making his neck heat up. “Yeah, sure. It’s the best place. She can’t run away.”

  River Lee burst out laughing, and Ty joined her, glad their previous awkwardness had gone. He’d never been so hurt as when she’d implied he was two-timing her. Ty was a lot of things, but a cheater he wasn’t. And in fact, he wasn’t even a lot of things. He kissed pretty women. Big deal. He didn’t lead them on. He didn’t sleep with them. He twirled them around the dance floor, and bought them ice cream and flowers, and took them on dates. Sometimes those dates ended with a kiss, and sometimes they didn’t.

  All the relationships had ended, as Ty had known they would.

  But this thing with River Lee…. This thing with River Lee felt huge, all-encompassing, and absolutely terrifying. He felt like he was navigating unknown terrain, without food and water, without a map.

  “Have you ever kissed a woman in church?”

  “No, ma’am. The only people I see doin’ that are gettin’ married or already are. I’ve never done that.”

  “Ah, finally. One thing I’ve done that you haven’t.” The twinkle in her eye dimmed, and Ty leaned toward her and lifted her hand to his lips.

  “I have an early morning, sweetheart. I’m afraid we’ll have to leave it here.”

  “You didn’t ask me the question.”

  “You want it right now? I can save it until tomorrow.”

  River Lee shook out her hair and straightened. “No, I can handle it.”

  He cocked his head and studied her. “All right. I was just wondering why you got divorced and moved back to Gold Valley.”

  She giggled, the sound much too high. It bounced around the cab, his brain, the sky. “You haven’t heard?”

  “No, ma’am. I don’t spend a lot of time gossiping.” He gave her a look he hoped would drive home his point. “I usually just go straight to the source when I need to know something.”

  Her face blanched and she tried to pull her fingers from his. He held on fast, and chuckled. “I get it, River Lee. I scare you.”

  She swallowed. “A little, I’m not gonna lie.”

  He leaned forward, thrilled beyond belief when she did too. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “You scare me too.” He pulled back before the combined smell of chocolate and her perfume drove him to do something he couldn’t take back. Couldn’t apologize for.

  He let go of her hand, and she reached for the door handle. “Church tomorrow then.”

  “Church tomorrow,” he confirmed, watching as she slid gracefully from his truck, noticing the strip of skin on her back that showed when her shirt rode up a little. He licked his lips and looked away, too warm and too wanting. “See you later, sweetheart.”

  “Bye, Ty.” Her voice carried a coy note, but Ty didn’t have the guts to look at her again. Between all the talking, the hand-holding, the cookie-eating, no amount of air conditioning would be able to cool him down if he didn’t leave right this moment. She needed time, and in order to give her that, he needed distance.

  The passenger door closed, and Ty released the breath he’d been holding. He didn’t make it down the block before a grin the size of Texas landed on his face and stayed there for the whole drive back to Horseshoe Home.

  “What are you so happy about?” Caleb asked as Ty climbed out of his truck. His friend paused in his walk toward the cattle pens, where Ty knew Caleb did his bookkeeping on Saturday evenings.

  He tossed Caleb the last cookie and said, “River Lee Whitely.”

  Caleb caught the treat and took a bite. “Ah, Ty’s got himself a new girl.”

  Ty shook his head and gestured for Caleb to keep on toward his office. “She’s no girl.”

  “But she is yours.”

  That slip of fear Ty had experienced expanded in his chest. “I’d like her to be.” He put a hand on Caleb’s arm, causing the other man to stop again and look at him. Really look. “For a lot longer than a couple of weeks too.” Ty swallowed, his eyes searching Caleb’s.

  Caleb tipped his head back and laughed. “Oh, boy. I can see you’re in trouble.” He clapped him on the back. “Come help me get the schedule done for feeding this week.”

  Ty wanted to argue that planning the feeding of the cattle wasn’t his job, but he went with Caleb anyway. For some reason, he didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts tonight.

  “Wait. You’re not going to the dance?” Caleb slanted his eyebrows at Ty. “That’s unlike you. You’re not helping tonight?”

  “The dance!” Ty froze. “I totally forgot.” He spun and hurried toward his truck, pulling his phone from his pocket as he went so he could call Kevin, the director of the summer dances.

  Caleb’s pounding laugh sounded behind him. “This girl must really have you in knots!” he called, adding another laugh to punctuate the statement.

  Chapter 11

  Ty’s knots tangled as he drove down the canyon. Though he was late, and he hated being late, he took his time on the road. The drive from Gold Valley to Horseshoe Home in the summer was beautiful. The green trees, the evergreens, the white bark, the mountain rivers, all of it calmed Ty’s ragged soul.

  As he rounded the corner and came down to the waterfalls, he turned off and parked. He rolled the window down and listened to the roar of the falls as the water poured over them. Shaped like a horseshoe—and after which the ranch was named—the falls always enveloped Ty in a sense of peace.

  He’d spent some time with River Lee hiking around the falls, but he’d never kissed her here. He added that item to his summer to-do list, hoping kissing was near the top of her list too. With her confession that she needed lots of time to pretty much do anything, Ty gazed at the water and let the laughter of the children and families convince him that he could go slow.

  If only slow was his style. “It can be,” he told himself. “You just drove down the mountain pretty slow.” Ty knew it was different for him with women, but he was dedicated to doing as much as possible to keep River Lee as close as possible.

  The idea that he should call River Lee and invite her to the dance popped into his mind. He tried to push it away, but it kept circling around and around until he picked up his phone and put in a call.

  “Miss me already?” she answered, her voice upbeat. It made his pulse pound to hear her so happy.

  “Always,” he said, playing the game. “I’m actually on my way to the dance, and I wondered if maybe you had the time and energy to stop by?” He pressed his eyes closed and waited, his breath stuck somewhere in his throat.

  “How late does the dance usually go?”r />
  “About eleven.”

  “That’s pretty late.”

  “We don’t have to stay the whole time. And there will be refreshments.” He singsonged the last word, hoping to attract her to the park with the promise of sweets.

  “The girls do go to bed at eight-thirty….”

  “So maybe you could come after that,” he pressed.

  “I’ll talk to my mother.”

  Ty hesitated. “You think she’ll have plans?”

  “She hasn’t said anything, but there’s this guy she’s mentioned a time or two…I just need to talk to her first.”

  “Okay, well, if I see you, I see you.” He bit back the next words he wanted to say: I hope I see you. She knew that already; no need to put the additional pressure on her.

  He pulled onto the road and continued to the square. He had to leave his truck farther away than normal because he was so late, but he ate up the distance soon enough. “I’m so sorry,” he said to Kevin once he arrived. The refreshment tables had already been set up, and the crew only had two more rows to place before the dance floor was complete. “Should I do the punch?”

  “Yeah, start there.” Kevin sent Ty with a woman named Jillian to get the refreshments, the cooler for punch, and the drink mix. He carried a huge box of cookies while she grabbed the cooler, and together, they had the refreshments out just as the first dancers arrived.

  Ty snagged a cookie and ate it, having skipped dinner in order to patch things up with River Lee. This chocolate chip concoction was seriously lacking, especially compared to River Lee’s treats. Though twilight hadn’t quite settled yet, more and more people kept coming, and Ty got busy replacing napkins and wandering around picking up empty cups.

  During that chore, he used to scope out the girls who had come and find one he wanted to ask to dance once night truly fell. Now, he focused on his work, his silent phone in his pocket driving him mad.

  Dusk came, but River Lee did not. Ty resisted the urge to check the time. He knew what time the sun went down in mid-June, and her girls had gone to bed an hour ago. He pushed away his negative thoughts and feelings and collected another pile of garbage.