books 1 - 3

by Ella J. Smyth

  “Yeah, I did. Nothing big though, just a couple of sleeping pills to keep me under for a while. I don’t know if time passes the same way here as in the real world, but I wanted to give us enough time to get you back.” He pulled her into his chest and held her tight as he simultaneously squeezed her and nuzzled her hair. “I’m sorry. That’s why I’m rushing us. I don’t know when I’ll wake up, but I want to make sure you’re safe before I do.”

  Adi clung onto him for a moment. She would never get over his warm solidity, how safe he made her feel and how irritating it was to turn into a puddle of goo every time he held her. She wasn’t a helpless female, and she wanted to show him that she could cope. Not that he had seen a lot of evidence of it, she admitted to herself. For the time being, she melted into his embrace, but only because she’d nearly died earlier. That was enough of an excuse for anybody to enjoy a bit of coddling.

  Another soft kiss to the top of her head, then Honi released her and stepped back. As if he had read her thoughts, he said brightly, “Okay, time to go. We need to figure out how you can show those damn creatures who’s the boss.”

  He took her hand again and this time, Adi stopped him. “So if I could control the environment here, why do we have to walk anywhere? Couldn’t I call the creatures to me and choose my battlefield?”

  Honi stared at her, then grinned. “Yeah, you could. Not sure why I hadn’t thought of it, but yes. Let’s plan. What do you want to do?”

  Adi thought for a moment. Apparently she was supposed to face down the spirit world so that they wouldn’t keep her here. “How about I try to confront something small first? Not too small.” She shuddered as she remembered the flood of mice in her dream. She didn’t need to feel the sharp little nails or the tiny teeth that had torn into her skin.

  “Tell you what. Why don’t we sit down, center ourselves for a moment, and then you try to call something harmless, like a rabbit? If the bunny gets nasty, I’ll save you.”

  Adi knew he was trying to make her smile, but after her self-doubt earlier, it hit the wrong note. She clenched her jaw, then sat down with her legs crossed and rested her hands palms up the way he’d shown her. Honi sat down next to her and said, “You know I’m joking, right? I have no doubt that you can take on a bunny and win.”

  Damn that boy. Her mouth twitched and she felt a little lighter to know that he had her back. She closed her eyes and held her breath. There, in the space between inhale and exhale, she savored the perfect quiet. For a short moment, all there was was her heart beating in her throat and the darkness on the insides of her eyelids.

  She opened her senses and felt the grass under her legs, poking through her jeans like irritating little spikes. The warmth of the sunshine on her back, the buzzing of insects and the chirping of birds. She took another breath and held it. Honi was breathing evenly to her right. She sank deeper into the darkness and was a little astonished how easy it felt after struggling to stay still earlier in the week.

  Maybe it was because she was now in a position to do something rather than passively endure. She hated being passive. Now she was thinking about being active, and her calm shattered. She opened her eyes and saw Honi smile at her. “That was good. Last time you managed all of thirty seconds.”

  Adi made a disparaging noise. “So what, now I’ve managed one minute? Yay, one hundred percent improvement!”

  “Try again. You were under for ten minutes at least.”

  Adi stared at the young man. He couldn’t be serious. “Ten minutes? No way!”

  “Yes way. Try again, and this time, concentrate on a fluffy bunny rabbit and see what happens.”

  Adi still gaped at him. Ten minutes? It had felt like no more than a couple! Honi apparently mistook her astonishment for fear and tried to reassure her. “You’ll be fine. I’m right here, and if the rabbit tries anything, I’ll get it first.”

  She closed her mouth and scowled at him. “Thanks, I’ll make sure I’ll summon a fierce black one so you can go all hero on its ass.”

  Honi winked at her, and with a huff, she closed her eyes. Again it took only a couple of breaths for her to sink into a calm pool of darkness. This was getting easier every time she tried it. Slowly she allowed an image of an animal to surface. A bunny with soft fur, the softest she’d ever touched. A little pink nose, twitching as it chewed on a stalk of straw. Its long ears upright like military antennae, turning to detect any unusual sounds around it. Its cute little tail, its unexpectedly long eyelashes over huge black eyes, looking at her serenely. Adi smiled as she thought how cute the little thing was.

  “Holy shit,” Honi whispered. Adi opened one eye, still caught in the serenity of her experience. In front of her sat a spirit animal, just as she’d imagined it. A tight fluffy bundle, staring at her without blinking. She opened both eyes widely, then hesitantly stretched out her hand to stroke it. As quick as lightning, the bunny showed its teeth and sank them hard into her thumb.

  Adi cursed and pulled her hand back. Blood ran down her wrist in rivulets, and the little monster stared at her, ready to pounce for another attack. Her eyes wide, she looked at Honi, silently imploring him to tell her what to do.

  “Any ideas?” she asked eventually, her eyes fixed again on the black-furred creature.

  “Uhm.” Well, that was helpful. She narrowed her eyes until Honi visibly pulled himself together. “Okay, let’s try a few different things. Close your eyes and see if you can feel any emotions from the rabbit. It responded to you when you called it. Maybe there’s a way to communicate.”

  He had clearly watched too many sci-fi shows if he thought she could mind-meld with that thing. But then, it wasn’t like she had any better ideas, so she reluctantly closed her eyes and hoped the creature wouldn’t go for her jugular while she was defenseless.

  Again she sank into the darkness of her mind and concentrated on her surroundings. Honi’s fast breathing whooshed in her ear—he clearly wasn’t as calm as he pretended to be—and there, just at the edge of her perception, there was a tremor, like a sound wave without the sound. She focused in on the feeling and got the impression of anger, of rage, aimed right at her. Her breath caught in her throat. The strength of the negativity was enormous. For the first time she was exposed to the emotional backlash of the spirit world’s feelings towards her. She shuddered as the fury grew, and her eyes flew open just in time to see Honi holding onto the hind legs of the bunny. It was trying to launch itself at her again, black fur puffed up.

  “Anything?” he asked breathlessly as he held on for dear life.

  “It hates me.” That came out a little more despondently than she’d intended. It was depressing to see such a cute animal trying to tear her apart. Honi seemed to have the creature under control, so she closed her eyes again and reached out.

  The emotion hitting her felt like red-hot waves of fury. Underneath the angry surge, there was a different layer, purplish-blue in color. This wasn’t unusual—many people were capable of synesthesia, the ability to have one sense impression bleed into another sense. When she listened to music, she saw different colors entwining, synchroniszng and battling, depending on the piece’s mood. Chopin was always muted blue tones, Mozart happy oranges, Nirvana brown shot through with angry mustard. It didn’t surprise her in the least to see shades of emotion now, and she homed into the muted tints underneath the swell of fury aimed at her.

  It felt like… sorrow? What the hell did that little devil have to feel sad about? Adi’s irritation broke through her trance state, and she opened her eyes a second time. Honi was on top of the rabbit, pinning it under him. By the look of his shirt, its claws had done some damage. The young man looked slightly confused though, and when Adi looked closer, she could tell that the animal had stopped struggling. Its ears were pinned back and its tail drooped. The whole body communicated defeat and sadness. That was odd.

  Adi closed her eyes for a third time and noticed fleetingly how quickly she fell back into the calmness. Two inhales and she
was gone. When she reached out this time, there was only purple and blue. The fiery anger was gone, and as she focused on calmly breathing in and out, the blue grew to fill her mind. Every inhale seemed to suck the color closer, and every exhale pushed her mind outwards until the spirit animal wasn’t at the edge of her perception but right in the middle of it.

  Sadness. Sorrow. Despair. Adi’s eyes flew open when Honi shook her shoulders hard. “Adi! Dammit, snap out of it! What the hell is going on with you! Adi!”

  When she looked at him, he dropped his hands off her with a shout of relief. Then he crushed her against him in a big hug. “Jesus, Adi, I thought you were gone! You didn’t move and didn’t answer when I called you! I thought you’d stopped breathing!”

  Her head swam, and her eyes itched. When she tried to wipe them, she noticed with a detached feeling that her face was wet. What had happened? Why had she become overwhelmed with despair? The rabbit still sat there, staring at her. It lifted its head and slowly hobbled towards her.

  Honi turned and was about to jump back on top of the creature. Adi stopped him. She felt no threat coming from the bunny. When she stuck out her hand this time, its tiny pink tongue licked her fingers. She giggled at the ticklish feeling. Slowly she picked the little thing up and hugged it against her chest. It nestled down contentedly, and her heart went out to it. Nobody could resist a soft, fluffy bunny rabbit. Especially after she had felt its pain and anguish.

  Had she been responsible for it? No wonder the spirit world had attacked her. She had only felt the creature’s emotions for a little while and it had wrecked her. Yet here they were, snuggling together, and for the first time, Adi felt that she might be able to do this, to undo the damage she had unwittingly done to the spirit animals, and find her way back to her own world.

  13

  Honi stared at the brown-haired girl sitting in front of him with a rabbit in her arms, of all things. The little creature snuggled into the crook of Adi’s elbow and allowed itself to be stroked from its pink nose all the way to its twitchy bunny tail. If he hadn’t tried to restrain the pocket monster and felt its urge to tear Adi’s throat out, he wouldn’t have believed that there was anything wrong with this picture. Somehow Adi had managed to reach out to the animal and establish a connection.

  His face broke into a beaming grin when the realization hit him. She had absolutely rocked this! And he had taught her the basics of what she’d just done. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She blinked at him with a tired little smile of her own.

  “You did great,” he said quietly so he wouldn’t disturb the little monster. She slowly put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment. Then she took a deep breath, straightened her back and set the rabbit on the grass in front of her. They both watched the creature’s ears come up. It hopped over to Adi’s motionless hand and sniffed at it. One last flick with its raspy little tongue and it scurried off.

  “That was pretty cool,” she said, turning to Honi. “Should we try for something bigger? Like a dog, maybe?” The hoarseness in her voice and a big yawn gave away her tiredness.

  “Are you sure you’re up for it?”

  Adi nodded. “I’m fine. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be ready for another try.” She got up slowly and walked to and fro a few times, stretching and taking in the beautiful view. Honi joined her and stood close enough to touch her arm. Something felt off. He should be over the moon that Adi finally seemed to get the whole “communicating with the spirit world” thing, but something was nagging at the back of his mind.

  His gaze swept over the hills, colorful wildflowers scenting the air, larks chasing each other with high melodic trills. It seemed so perfect, yet there was a great danger looming at the horizon. His eyes narrowed, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. A shadow was approaching, growing ever larger. It triggered his instincts like an electrical storm. He shuddered and tried to shake off the feeling of impending doom.

  “Wanna give it another try?” he said as gently and encouragingly as he could. No need to alarm her. Whatever was coming would get here soon enough. Hopefully they were gone back to the real world before it found them. Adi sat down again and immediately sank into a trance. Honi shook his head. Only last week, she couldn’t sit still to save her life, and now she went under within seconds. He wasn’t sure if it showed his skill as a teacher, her ability to absorb his lessons, or if being in the spirit world, closer to death than life, allowed her to open her mind and sink into it. Either way, she was making huge steps towards getting them back to their own world.

  He turned away to keep a lookout for the danger he knew was coming. A gasp behind him made him spin back towards her. Her eyes were open, wide with fear, and her mouth opened and closed without any sounds coming out. He was by her side immediately.

  “Talk to me sweetheart, what happened?”

  Adi’s eyes were slowly focusing on him. Her face had lost all color, making her look like she was about to faint. “I felt a presence in the back of my mind. I called the bunny, but this time, there was somebody… something there, pulling me in. I tried to fight it, but it homed in on me, and I struggled and pulled back and it wouldn’t stop!”

  Her voice rose louder and louder, and then, just as she seemed to lose control, she stopped. She took a deep breath, visibly calming herself while Honi stroked her hand. What was she saying? She’d seen a person? There were no people in the spirit world, she had to be mistaken. He didn’t say anything, hoping Adi would continue.

  “It hurt really badly, like when you have a toothache, and you can’t stop sucking on it. The more I pulled away, the more it hurt, until the connection snapped and I woke up.” She squeezed Honi’s hand so hard he winced. Then he put his other hand over hers.

  “You said ‘somebody’. Are you sure it wasn’t another spirit animal?”

  “Absolutely. She was big, towering over me…”

  Honi interrupted her. “She? It was a woman?”

  Adi hesitated. “Yes and no.” She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s hard to explain. It felt like a woman, dressed in dark robes, but there was more to it, another layer… I don’t know. She wasn’t human, that’s for sure.”

  Honi was speechless. A person in the spirit world? All the stories he had ever heard said that when somebody died, their spirits passed through the spirit world, reuniting with their spirit animals. Some were reborn—others moved on to see their ancestors and loved ones. Honi had no idea how many of the original beliefs were adulterated through Christianity, but he always found comfort in the idea that his wolf would stay with him and show him which way to go after he died.

  Except when his human purposely poisoned himself. Then apparently it was okay to just not show up at all. He huffed in irritation. Anyway, he had never heard of a person, human or not, in the spirit world. Spirit-walkers visited this realm all the time—surely they would have brought back stories about a dangerous woman if she existed?

  Adi had calmed down a little. She gave him a wavering smile that he couldn’t resist. He bent his head and kissed her gently, just a swipe of his lips against hers. What he really wanted to do was deepen the kiss and hold her tightly against him, but there was no time. They’d spent too much time here already. He needed to get back before he woke up in his dorm room.

  “Do you feel ready to try again? Maybe go a different direction this time? Would you be able to avoid that woman, whoever she was?”

  “I think so. She felt weird, oily, rancid. It’s hard to describe, but I would know her… I don’t know what to call it… energy signature?” He smiled. Her geek was showing.

  “Energy signature is good, whatever you want to call it.” He pulled her closer. Man, she smelled good. Her scent made him a little light-headed, so he pushed her away playfully. “Come on then, I’ll keep watch again. Maybe not try for something too big? I might have to flatten it again like the bunny earlier.”

  This time she laughed. It must have looked
stupid, him wrangling with the small animal like that. It had even drawn blood with its clawed hind legs. Those vermin were stronger than they looked! Adi wiggled her butt, pulled her legs in and lowered her head. She was gone within seconds, and this time, she stayed still while the minutes ticked away. Honi got bored and lay back in the grass, closing his eyes and enjoying the mild breeze over his face. Every so often, he opened one eye to check on Adi, but she sat there without moving a muscle, evenly breathing in and out.

  Something burned his chest. For a second, Honi thought he might have fallen asleep, and jerked upright, cursing himself for letting down his guard. The burning returned, this time more intensely. He rubbed his skin through his shirt and yelped when it hurt even more, like touching an open sore. He grabbed the edge of his shirt to pull it up when pain hit him. It was so intense that he couldn’t even scream. Lightning strikes of agony originated from his chest, racing up and down his arms and legs.

  Honi fell to the ground, unable to control his twitching and jerking limbs. His body bent backward into an unbearable arc, his back at its breaking point. He writhed, unable to take a breath, his mind filled with agonizing static. When the torture finally stopped, he took a huge gasp of air and his muscles relaxed. He stared into the blue sky, gulping like a fish. His hands still twitched a little, but the worst seemed to be over. His head was killing him though. What the hell was that?

  He slowly sat up, groaning as he did so. Adi was still in her trance, but from the way her forehead tensed, she was slowly coming out of it. Honi slipped his shirt off before she could wake up and stared at his chest in disbelief. There were two square patches of angry red skin, about the size of two cell phones. Blisters appeared as he watched. He poked at one of the wounds gingerly and winced as he drew his hand back. That hurt really badly. This couldn’t be good, but what was it?