books 1 - 3

by Ella J. Smyth

  "I’m pretty confident I won’t need a doctor.” She looked at the people in the room, including Honi. She laid her hand on his arm.

  “Would you stay with me for a moment? I’d like to talk to you. Alone,” she said as she looked around meaningfully.

  Adi kept herself upright until Honi’s parents and Nina had left the room. Then she returned to the bed and carefully laid herself down. Honi sat next to her, then kicked his shoes off and shuffled under the covers next to her. Adi moved to give them a bit more space. She snuggled into Honi’s arm and for a moment hid her head against his shoulder, avoiding the bump.

  "I’m okay, Honi."

  Honi’s arm tightened around her, then he kissed her forehead. "I’m glad. So, do you want to tell me what happened?"

  Adi hesitated, but then said, "I tried to meditate. I know you don’t think there’s anything unusual going on here, but I’m telling you, the spirit animals around here are disfigured. Something is wrong."

  She lifted her head and looked at him. Honi stared right back at her. Why was she starting this nonsense again? He’d kept his eyes open all day and seen nothing. Adi must have read the exasperation on his face because she sighed.

  Sounding weak and listless, she said, “You don’t believe me. But how about this—when I meditated, I felt something rotten in the energy signatures of the spirit animals around here. When I tried to investigate and poke at the corruption—that’s when I fainted."

  Honi said nothing for a moment. Then he cleared his throat. “Are you sure this wasn’t just some kind of hallucination? Maybe you hit your head harder than you thought."

  Adi laughed before realizing that Honi was serious. Then she exploded.

  "Seriously? I’m telling you that I saw this corruption before I fainted, not after—"

  "No need to shout, Adi. I just think it’s strange that I can’t see any of this. I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you."

  "Fine, then don’t believe me. But while we are talking, what the hell is going on with Nina?"

  Honi pulled his arm out from under her head and sat up. He turned towards her and frowned.

  "What do you mean? What does this have to do with Nina?"

  “You tell me. What was she doing here?"

  Honi was becoming exasperated with her, injured or not. Why was she bringing up Nina?

  "Since we arrived, she’s been all over you. And just now, when I woke up, I heard her talking about me to your parents. She was saying I was unstable. And even worse, your father seemed to believe her!"

  Honi stood up. "Oh come on, Adi. I don’t know what’s gotten into you. This has to stop! You’re making up some weird story about sick spirit animals, and all because you’re jealous of my ex? And now you’re trying to blame my parents as well? I know they weren’t very welcoming when we arrived, but surely they’ve made up for it today!"

  Adi glared at Honi, the challenge clear in her fierce brown eyes. This was infuriating. Yes, she’d shouted first, but he’d never shouted back at her. He didn’t want to fight, but the argument seemed to have taken on a life of its own. He didn’t know how to stop it.

  "So what, now you’re taking everybody’s word over mine? After everything we’ve been through?"

  Honi’s shoulders folded forward under the accusation. The unfairness of it stung like a slap. His temples pounded as his blood pressure rose. He took a deep breath. Nothing could be gained from losing his temper. Nothing.

  "I don’t know, Adi. Maybe it’s the bang to the head. Maybe you’re just tired. But you’re not being rational right now. I don’t really want to listen to you rant against my parents. Try to get some more sleep, and I’ll come back in half an hour once you’ve calmed down."

  His voice trembled with suppressed anger. Maybe he wasn’t holding on to his emotion as tightly as he thought. He left the room and stomped down the hallway, fuming. At least he hadn’t banged the door. Although it had been a close thing.

  12

  Adi watched Honi march out the door. He had just walked away from an argument when she was injured and in need of some TLC. It was probably a good thing that they couldn’t tear into each other when they were both tired and hurt. Still, she wanted him by her side. Although his mom would probably drag him out of her room by the ear. She snorted at the image, then cringed as the movement jostled her aching head again.

  With a whimper of frustration, she fell back onto the mattress. She winced again when her head connected with the surface. The movement certainly hadn’t done her injury any good. And she felt dizzy on top of it.

  Maybe Honi was right and she needed more sleep. She rolled to her side and curled up into an embryonic position, pulling the covers over herself. Concentrating on breathing evenly, Adi tried to clear her mind of the argument.

  Pretty soon her training kicked in, and she felt herself slip into oblivion. Just before she fell asleep completely, she heard a woman whisper, “You think you’re so smart. I’m smarter. He is mine, and you are nothing."

  She felt a lot better the following morning. The swelling had gone down, and she didn’t feel quite as overwhelmed as she had the night before. And she may have been out of line with Honi. Of course he wasn’t interested in Nina. If he were, he would have stayed in Heota with her and made cute little babies. But he hadn’t. He’d left, met Adi, and together they would figure out what was going on here.

  As she sat up, aching joints and back twinges reminded her that the last few days had been incredibly stressful. Maybe it was just as well that they had separate bedrooms. At least she’d managed to get a good night’s sleep.

  Then again, she’d kill for a good massage right now. She smiled at the memory of Honi’s talented fingers. She took her time getting up. After a quick shower, the tantalizing smell of frying bacon drew her to the kitchen. She expected Judy Fisher to be fixing breakfast for her husband and son, but the only one present was her irritating boyfriend.

  He turned around, and the look on his face melted her heart. Despite his size, in moments like these, he was like a small boy, half guilty, half apologetic. She was across the room in a flash.

  “I’m sorry I shouted at you,” she whispered as she hugged him. He returned the embrace and held on to her tightly.

  “I’m sorry, too. I was so frustrated when you accused me of wanting to cheat on you. You know I wouldn’t do that.”

  She shook her head. “I do. Of course I do. I was angry because you dismissed what I told you about the spirit animals.”

  He stiffened in her arms, expelled a big sigh, then relaxed against her. His effort to keep his mouth shut both amused and irritated her all over again. He was such a macho asshole sometimes. But she would bring it up another time, not now. Now was not the time to have another fight; which it would turn into, because he still wasn’t taking her warning seriously.

  After breakfast, she went back to bed. For the rest of the morning, she read an e-book, interspersed with napping. Sometime around lunchtime, Honi came into the room and stayed for a while before she nodded off again. She thought she heard him get into a car with the guy from the diner—what was his name… Joe? Yeah, that sounded about right.

  By early evening, she finally woke up and felt like herself again. Jetlag did this to her every time. She’d feel like crap for a few days until she’d slept enough to reset her inner clock. She wouldn’t have a problem sleeping tonight, although right now she was bored, bored, bored after having been inside all day long. It was still just about daylight. Time to explore the world outside.

  Adi stood overlooking the valley. Heota was only a few hundred feet above sea level, but the vista from the plateau was astounding. Behind her, a dense forest flowed upwards like long smudges of ink. Paths led from the village up into the darkness.

  Some hundred yards from the Fishers’ house, the road led downwards towards swathes of grassland and wheat fields. Adi walked to the edge of the bluff. The sun was about to set, bathing the huge rocks below in an eerie, oran
ge-red light.

  Jet trails in the expanse of sky glowed bright yellow, reflecting the ball of light about to disappear beyond the dark-green hills far away on the other side of the valley.

  The temperature dropped sharply as it had done the day before. Adi climbed down a few feet and touched the surface of a boulder taller and wider than her. There was still warmth stored in the rock, and Adi slid down against it. Her back wedged firmly against the stone, she lifted her head inhaled the smell of grass, of ozone, of the few trees growing near her.

  Voices above her announced the arrival of others, and Adi was about to stand up and walk away. But then she recognized Honi’s voice. And he wasn’t alone. She grinned—she wasn’t nosy at all. She just really wanted to learn more about the man, about his family, about his life here.

  “I missed you,” she heard him say. Adi nodded. She got that. She missed her family every day, although after years of being by herself, it didn’t hurt as much as when they’d passed away. The voice answering Honi made Adi’s head snap up.

  “I know. I missed you, too,” Nina purred. What the hell? What was going on here?

  “We were very surprised that you brought this girl here. Why did you do that?”

  Honi stayed silent for a long time. Then he said, “I don’t know.”

  Well, fuck. Adi’s chest hurt at those words. She suddenly found breathing difficult. She waited, holding her breath. Surely there was more to come.

  “Do you love her?”

  Nina’s voice again. Such a simple question, yet Adi felt like her entire future depended on the answer.

  “I do.”

  And there it was. Adi exhaled deeply, careful not to be too loud. Being discovered now would be more than embarrassing.

  “I love her. More than my life. But…” Honi stopped. Adi waited.

  “Since we arrived here, things have been weird.” Honi chuckled. “Well, weirder. My father suddenly hates her. My mom barely talks to her. I never thought they’d have a problem with me bringing home a woman who isn’t native.”

  Another moment of silence. So Adi had been right. Jim did hate her. She lowered her head, wondering how their relationship would survive if Honi didn’t get his parents’ approval.

  “What worries me most is that Adi is acting really weird. She tells me she sees stuff that can’t be real. I’ve known her a long time now, but it’s like being here in Heota triggers something in her. I can’t tell you what she sees, but believe me, she’s acting very strange.”

  Adi felt her temper rise. What the hell, Honi? She laid her head back against the stone, thinking of one of Oma-Adi’s favorite sayings back in Germany: “Der Lauscher an der Wand hört seine eigene Schand”. The listener through the wall hears his own shame. Or in this case, maybe the truth about how Honi really felt.

  Footsteps and the rustling of clothes moved closer to her position. Nina spoke again, her voice low and intimate.

  “You know I’ve never stopped loving you.”

  Adi waited with bated breath. She’d suspected by the way Nina had watched Honi in the house that she hadn’t been over him.

  “Nina. Please stop. You know I had to go. I’m with Adi now. Our time is over. I can’t leave her. Won’t leave her.”

  Adi’s eyes filled with tears. Goddammit, Honi. That didn’t sound like a convincing declaration of love. More like regret that the timing had been wrong. Adi didn’t want Honi to stay with her because of any obligation he might feel. She knew he was an honorable man. She just hadn’t known how far his sense of duty would go.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Honi’s voice moved away as he stepped back from the edge of the bluff. Just when Adi was about to get up and return to the house, she heard Nina, talking to herself.

  “Yes, you will.”

  That’s all she said. Yet Adi’s stomach dropped at those words. They were spoken with such force, such malignant intent, that she felt ill. She couldn’t afford to underestimate this woman. Her instinct, her gut feeling, chimed a warning that echoed through her whole being.

  An eerie howl close by made her scramble to her feet. Ever since her experience with the spirit animal attack in Tulsa, Adi had a primal fear of coyotes. Thankfully, Nina was gone. It was nearly pitch dark, the path back to the settlement illuminated only by the moon, peeking in and out from behind wind-swept clouds.

  Adi shivered, pulling her sweatshirt tightly around her thin frame. She hadn’t intended to stay out that late. The temperature had dropped sharply and was low enough to cause hypothermia. Blowing onto her cold fingers, Adi walked as fast as she could to get inside the Fisher house. She was determined to avoid running into any family members. She’d had enough of feeling rejected for one day.

  13

  For hours, Adi tossed and turned. Sleep wouldn’t come, no matter how hard she tried. Meditation, listening to a hypnosis recording on her cell phone, nothing worked. Every time she was about to drop off, she heard Nina’s voice in her head. “I’ve never stopped loving you.” Was that true?

  She wished Honi was lying next to her so she could snuggle into his side. Sometimes, all she wanted was to hear his heartbeat. To know he was alive and here with her. She had gotten close to losing him twice. After they’d come back from the faerie realm, she’d needed him close at all times.

  Honi had never complained that she was suffocating him. He’d felt the same urge he’d told her one night. They’d made love, holding onto each other as if they were drowning. Adi had trembled in his arms, her eyes squeezed tight.

  Sometimes, out of the blue, she’d relive the moment when the tip of the spear had pierced Honi’s torso and pinned him to the ground. She remembered the light fading from his wide eyes and the moment when she’d thought that he’d gone forever.

  Honi always knew when the images became too much. He squeezed her tight and covered her face with kisses. It helped to anchor her in the here and now. He had suffered as well, but nothing like Adi had. He hadn’t been forced to see her die.

  And yet, he hadn’t protested when his mother had sent him to his old bedroom and Adi to the guest room. He hadn’t even tried to sneak into her bed late at night when his parents had gone to sleep. He was an adult, for God’s sake. Adi would have fought and rather stayed at a hotel than be separated from him after what they’d been through.

  She’d known his tribe had a huge hold on him, but witnessing it made her see him in a new light. Maybe she needed to give him time to acclimatize after being away for so many years. She sighed. Events had shaped them both.

  Maybe she was being unfair to expect him to put her first. They’d been through this before. Adi had felt neglected and had moved to Germany. He’d followed her and proved his loyalty. Yes, that was it. She needed to give him time.

  Adi finally nodded off as a sickly white light made its way into her bedroom. Something snuffled underneath her window, and while she still wondered what was going through the trash, she fell asleep.

  When she opened her eyes again, the sun was streaming through the curtains. Someone had drawn the fabric aside. They hadn’t woken her, and Adi was grateful for that. As it was, her limbs felt like lead, and her eyeballs were made of sand. She lay still for a moment, listening to the noises in the bungalow.

  Dishes clattering in the kitchen, the occasional burst of laughter. A toilet flushing in the back of the house. People talking outside her window, too far away to make out what they were saying. She smelled coffee. Her stomach growled.

  Her cell phone told her that breakfast time was over. In fact, it was just after midday. Adi groaned. Why had they let her sleep in? She’d probably not be able to sleep tonight. Lifted her head, she stared right at some towels piled next to the bed on a chair. With a huge effort, she got to her feet and made her way to the bathroom.

  Half an hour later, she was showered, her hair smelling fresh and clean, and she wore a new set of clothes. All in all, she felt human again. She lifted her head, took a deep breath, and
entered the kitchen.

  “Good morning, Adi.”

  Nina stood by the sink, rinsing dishes and drying them. Adi stopped and looked around. No sign of Honi and his parents, although the remainders of lunch were wrapped up and ready to go back into the fridge.

  “Good morning,” Adi replied slowly. What was Nina doing here? Her stomach growled again.

  “Is there any food? I’m sorry, I feel like I haven’t eaten in days.”

  “Of course. You look like you need a good meal.” She smiled before turning back to the sink.

  Nina’s cheery answer put Adi’s teeth on edge. What was that supposed to mean? Adi wasn’t good at reading between the lines. But even she could pick up the undertones of Nina’s words. She was too skinny. She wasn’t good enough. Nina would have Honi because Nina was curvy and gorgeous where Adi was bony and thin.

  Adi shook her head. She was allowing her insecurities to get the better of her. She watched Nina closely. Despite her grogginess, she concentrated on the girl’s spirit animal. There was nothing. Adi closed her eyes and focused harder.

  There, something moved. Her eyes opened wide in shock. Humans had one spirit animal that stayed with them until they died. One. But this wasn’t the panther—it looked like a rotating form, spinning too fast to make out a shape. Adi squinted and touched her temples with both hands in an effort to block out distractions. There. For one split-second, Adi was sure she recognized something. Not one animal. No, several creatures, morphing into each other too fast to see, even with Adi’s mental powers.

  Her eyes snapped open, and she barely caught herself against the doorframe. Nina was by her side in an instant and grabbed her upper arm. She held Adi upright, gripping harder than necessary. Adi flinched at the slight pain.

  “Are you okay? Are you sick again? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”