books 1 - 3

by Ella J. Smyth

  Back in the room, she searched through her still-packed luggage. She wasn’t a neat-freak like Honi and would quite happily live out of her suitcase for weeks if she’d get away with it. Her hand brushed against a plastic wrapper. Her last protein bar would tide her over until she got a proper meal. Adi sucked on the marshmallow-flavored filling. The sweet goo stuck to her front teeth unpleasantly, but it would give her enough energy for her next task.

  She settled on the bed and pulled the covers over her shoulders. A few long-practiced inhales and exhales, and Adi found herself in Emain Ablach. A process that used to take her half an hour had become as automatic as breathing or sleeping. In the last few months, she’d become a lot better at choosing where in the faerie world she’d arrive.

  But today, it hadn’t worked. She wanted to speak to the queen. The faerie creature would be able to give her information, or at least aim her in the right direction. Instead, Adi found herself at the edge of a lake.

  In the far distance, Adi made out a range of low-lying mountains, sharp and black like cutout silhouettes. Between the lake shore and the delineated ridges on the far side, there was a huge expanse of water. The gray-blue surface moved and rippled like a living thing. Waves lapped against huge, flat rocks that lined the shore.

  Adi had no idea what caused the water to shimmy and dance. There was no breeze, only clouds drifting above. Their reflections were dark and threatening, yet Adi felt safe.

  Further along the shore, a small figure kneeled by the water. Adi moved closer until she was able to discern the outline of a black-haired, slender woman, drinking from hollowed hands. Adi recognized Nina immediately. What did it mean, seeing her here?

  The realization hit her like a thunderbolt. The woman was a spirit walker. Why hadn’t she said so? Because she didn’t want Adi to know, obviously. Duh. She approached cautiously. Nina was the only person nearby, and Adi needed answers.

  “Nina?”

  The woman looked up at Adi.

  “Do I know you?” she asked calmly, before sticking her hand back into the freezing water. Seriously? She pretended to not know her? Adi’s temper rose, but she fought it down valiantly. She wasn’t here as Honi’s girlfriend. As a spirit walker, she had to give Nina the benefit of the doubt until she knew what was going on.

  “Yes, you do know me. I’m Adi, remember?”

  The woman shook her head, her big eyes large and candid.

  “I don’t think so?”

  Her voice sounded sincere but unsure of herself—like a child’s. Adi shivered, looking at the woman’s blank face. There was not a trace of the aggression, the hatred, she’d displayed earlier towards Adi.

  “I’m Honi’s girlfriend. We met only a few days ago.”

  Nina laughed, like this was the funniest or stupidest thing she’d ever heard.

  “That can’t be right. Honi’s mine. He’s always been mine. You have no right to take him from me.”

  That was more like the Nina Adi had learned to hate. She was about to open her mouth and say something hurtful, when Nina spoke again.

  “Who are you? Do I know you?”

  Adi froze. This wasn’t right. Nina looked at her with confused, trusting eyes. Adi smiled weakly, then scanned the environment for the mélange of spirit animals that had surrounded Nina. They were nowhere to be seen. She tried again.

  “Where are your spirit animals?”

  Nina smiled dreamily before replying, “I left them behind. They don’t last long. They come to me, and after a few weeks, they disappear. Poof. Just like that.”

  Adi swallowed. That sounded so wrong. Every human had one spirit animal that stayed with them all of their lives. Only when a person died, did the spirit animal disappear. No-one knew what happened after—if the animals followed the souls of their companions to Tech Duinn, the world of the dead; or if the spirit animals were reborn to the human world to accompany another person so that the cycle repeated.

  They never—ever—stayed behind in the human world without their human. Even if that human was a spirit walker. Adi frowned. The queen had explained about humans that were spirit walkers without knowing about it. They had the potential to do great harm to both worlds. Was that what was happening here?

  “Are you a spirit walker?”

  Maybe a direct question was best. Nina didn’t reply, only nodded, her hand splashing in the water.

  “Who trained you?”

  Nina smiled again. “No one trained me. I figured it out by myself. It isn’t hard. All I have to do is concentrate, and they come to me.” Then she frowned. “I don’t like that they’re all ugly. I try to make them prettier.”

  She interrupted herself again, her mouth pulled into a straight line. Nina stood, her gaze turning angry and accusatory.

  “I met this woman once. She was dressed all in white with weird eyes. She said she was Spider Woman. I laughed at her. I mean, come on. Spider Woman? Like what, like Spider-Man’s wife? She didn’t think that was funny.”

  Adi nodded—if Spider Woman was the same creature as the faerie queen, then no, she definitely wouldn’t enjoy being made fun of. Before she could reply, Nina continued, “The more I try to make them stay, the quicker they leave. They’re so willful. Sometimes, they even try to hurt me.”

  Nina turned around and pulled up her shirt. Adi couldn’t suppress a gasp—there were silver lines criss-crossing Nina’s back. Adi recognized them immediately. They were claw scratches, much like the scars on her own leg, just below the bite mark left by a spirit hyena. Adi’s eyes were wide with shock, and Nina chuckled bitterly at her expression when she turned back.

  “You see, Adi? I try to help them, but in return they hurt me and leave me. That’s why I have to punish them,” she said matter-of-factly. “I didn’t appreciate that woman saying I caused great harm. I punished her, too. She used to come around all the time, shouting at me. Now she doesn’t anymore.”

  Adi was officially creeped out by all of this. What was going on? What powers did Nina possess? How was she able to hurt the spirit animals in the human world? And what did she mean when she said she had punished the queen? Not that the bitch didn’t deserve it, but how powerful was Nina exactly?

  Adi suddenly had enough of the conversation. Nina scared her. Her smile had grown broader, creepier, as if she knew exactly what it was doing to Adi. Nina’s next words sent cold shivers down Adi’s back.

  “The Spider Woman told me you’d come here. I suppose a friend of hers is an enemy of mine. Plus I want Honi back. So I’m afraid, I’ll have to get rid of you. Not here, though. On the other side.”

  Nina lifted her arm, and with a swipe of her hand, Adi’s world turned upside-down. The ground disappeared from underneath her feet, and the sky flipped sideways. Adi retched, trying to hold it in. But the nausea was so strong that finally, she had to let nature take its course.

  Vomit hit the ground, and the smell made Adi dry-heave again and again. It took a moment to sink in that she was lying in the Fishers’ guest bedroom, and that she had thrown up the half-digested protein bar.

  “Ugh, that’s disgusting. Are you sure you haven’t gotten a stomach virus, or something?”

  Nina’s voice came from the open door, and Adi lifted her head weakly. Maybe that was it. Maybe she’d slipped into sleep during her meditation and dreamed the whole thing. She groaned. Her stomach and head still felt all woozy.

  Nina stepped closer and said so quietly that Adi had to strain to hear her, “Remember what I said. I want Honi back. Either you leave now, or I will hurt you.”

  17

  The moment Nina had left the room, Adi’s nausea was gone. She sat up and stared at the puddle of vomit next to her. What a mess. Yuck. Sighing, she walked to the bathroom and rinsed her mouth. Then she grabbed a towel and cleaned up. She dry-heaved again as the smell hit her, but that was just a sympathetic response. Not the all-encompassing sickness she’d experienced earlier.

  Her stomach growled again. The tiny protein bar had
barely made a dent in her hunger, and now it was gone, Adi was starving. She stuck her head outside the room. There was nobody in sight. Just as well—she didn’t want to see anybody right now. After she’d brushed her teeth, the face staring back at her from the mirror was gaunt, with dark, purple bruises under the eyes. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days.

  Adi walked to the kitchen and went straight towards the fridge. She pulled the door open and stared at the empty shelves in dismay. More than likely, the family had forgotten to go shopping. But after everything that had happened, it felt like a slap in the face. Like more evidence that Adi wasn’t welcome in this world, in Honi’s family. They hadn’t even bothered to make lunch for her or ask her how she felt. It was as if she were a ghost, one that only Honi could see.

  Shaking off the melancholy washing over her, Adi straightened up and went back to her room. She pulled on a jacket and checked how much money she had. When they’d arrived at the airport, she’d changed her remaining euros to dollars. It was certainly enough to buy something to eat.

  On the way out of the house, Adi banged the door harder than necessary. Her emotional instability was beginning to piss her off. One moment, she felt depressed and unloved, the next, she was furious. She didn’t deserve this, Adi told herself. She hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d expected that there would be some resentment towards her, but the complete freeze-out was overwhelming.

  Adi marched down the street, hands in pockets, and her mind full of black thoughts. What a bunch of assholes to treat her like that. Of course, Honi was great. Honi was the poor victim. He’d been seduced by the evil German girl. What a load of crap.

  Adi kicked a rock, and smiled in satisfaction as it bounced off the sidings of a house. A young man eyed her warily and moved out of the way as she trotted past him. That’s right, kiddo; you get out of my way. She was just in the right mood to let rip at anybody who annoyed her further. When she arrived at the far side of Heota, she finally found a tiny convenience store.

  She pushed open the door and acknowledged the clerk’s greeting with a small nod. She stopped for a moment, looking around to get her bearings. The store was crammed, every available square inch taken up with with goods. One side was completely stacked with alcoholic beverages, mainly domestic American brands. Adi turned her back on it. She barely drank beer, and if she did, it wouldn’t be chemical-laced light beers. Another aisle was nothing but candy. She took her time, walking up one aisle, and down the next. Eventually she stopped in front of a shelf filled with soups and TV dinners.

  If she bought any of these products, she would have to go back to the kitchen to heat them up. Man, did she not want to do that. She wasn’t up for another round of awkward. But she also had to eat. And she was still a guest in the house until they kicked her out. Shaking her head, she picked up two cans of chicken soup and a loaf of sliced bread. How the hell did she always end up in these situations? Still, no matter how badly they treated her, she wouldn’t be a coward.

  She paid for the overpriced items at the front desk. The cashier barely acknowledged her, although he threw her curious glances when he thought she wasn’t looking. The second she stared at him, he dropped his eyes and was suddenly very interested in the change he was counting out for her.

  When Adi left the store, she didn’t bother saying goodbye. She walked to the end of the street, then cut across to the parallel street. She might as well get an idea of what else was in this sad excuse of a town.

  A white-sided container, the panels green with moss and rot, bore a hand-lettered sign “Post Office.” A mailbox hung on the outside, its weight nearly pulling the screws out of the cheap plastic sidings. Next to it, a ramshackle wooden library displayed fainted lettering. It could have been an old Wild West saloon, if not for the sign.

  Intrigued, Adi walked over to find the buildings closed. A sign declared that both institutions were open for two days a week. She wasn’t surprised by this. While the post office at least bore the outwards signs of modernity—a U.S. flag, stickers, and ads—there was something desolate, unloved, about the library. Adi peeked through the window at shelves of old hardcovers. Closer to the window, a container held DVDs of eighties and nineties movies.

  Welcome to the end of the world. The location was undeniably beautiful, raised up on the plateau with views across the valley. Apart from its vista, Heota had nothing else going for it. Honi had warned her, but she couldn’t have imagined the desolation of the place. There was no chance of a quick escape to go shopping or to distract herself otherwise.

  A couple of hundred yards further, wedged between some larger buildings, a small bar beckoned with neon lights and a new sign. They hadn’t opened yet for the evening, but the lights were on, and a middle-aged woman was setting up tables and chairs.

  The place looked welcoming with its rustic furniture and menu with food options displayed next to the front door. Adi thought about it for a moment before deciding that walking into a bar, probably frequented by the very people who were ignoring her so studiously, held no attraction.

  Soon, the few commercial buildings gave way to small, dilapidated bungalows. She checked her cell phone and was surprised it was already past six o’clock. As she walked back towards the Fishers’ house, the smell of frying batter and chilli drifted towards her. She inhaled deeply, making a noise that would have embarrassed her, had anybody overheard. She picked up speed, determined to get something into her poor stomach in the next ten minutes.

  By the time she arrived back at her destination, the door was locked. Dammit. She’d forgotten to ask for a key. Honi was supposed to have been with her. She rotated her shoulder carefully—at least the pain was nearly gone. It hurt far more that Honi hadn’t even tried to go after her and see that she was okay.

  Not that he hadn’t done this before: ignored her for things that were more important to him. Maybe it was a guy thing. Maybe Honi just couldn’t multitask, and the pressure his family was putting on him made it hard for him to concentrate on her as well. She sighed. They needed to talk and soon. She’d only been here a few days, and she was already close to leaving. With or without him.

  She jumped when the front door opened. Judy stood in front of her, her expression blank. Adi’s mood dropped another notch when Judy let her in without a word or a smile. What a bitch. There was just no give in this woman. Adi closed her eyes for a moment, fighting against her fears, her doubts about how this would work with Honi if his parents didn’t accept her. Then she pulled herself together. Fuck her. She was staying here because Honi had invited her. No other reason.

  Her head held high, she entered the kitchen and walked straight to the microwave. Under Judy’s flinty gaze, Adi opened the cabinets until she found a bowl. She wouldn’t ask for help. She poured the contents of the can into the bowl, opened the microwave, and set the timer.

  When the microwave sprang into action, whirring and rotating her soup, Adi turned around and stared right back at Judy. The two women kept their eyes trained at each other in a contest of wills, until Judy finally looked away, turned around, and left. The small victory tasted bitter to Adi. She still didn’t know what that woman’s problem was.

  Ten minutes later, Adi had eaten the soup so quickly, she might as well have inhaled it, followed by several slices of bread. She’d been left alone in the kitchen, even though she’d heard people rummaging around the house. It was obvious that she was being avoided. Eventually Adi took her dishes to the sink, washed and dried them, and put them back where she’d found them. Then she went from room to room to find Honi.

  She passed by the Fishers’ bedroom door and heard voices from inside. No sign of Honi anywhere. She moved on and finally stuck her head inside the small bathroom. Her nose crinkled as the smell of rotting wood and black mold wafted past her. The window was wide open, but the air circulating wasn’t enough to rid the room of damp. It would only get worse with winter coming.

  She was just about to close the door, when a movemen
t high up near the ceiling drew her attention. Jim’s raven sat on top of the shower curtain. He looked even worse than two days ago. His black plumage was nearly entirely gone, and his eyes were crusted over with a white film. The raven opened his beak and Adi waited for a caw. No sound reached her ears, and as she watched in horror, the creature faded out of existence.

  Adi’s mouth hung open. She had never witnessed anything like this before. She’d seen spirit animals die in the spirit world, but they’d never just disappeared like a bad CGI effect. Then the implication of it hit her.

  Had Honi’s father… No, surely not. But what if… Had Jim Fisher just… died? She whirled around and ran back to the master bedroom. She hammered at the door, her eyes wide and panicky. When the door opened and Jim looked at her with eyebrows raised, she nearly sobbed in relief.

  "Thank God, you’re okay."

  Jim looked at her suspiciously. "And why wouldn’t I be? What are you doing here?"

  His voice sounded tired, but not aggressive. Adi was still recovering from the shock of seeing the raven fade away to nothing. She stumbled over her words but finally managed to say, "I’m… I’m looking for Honi, have you seen him?"

  Jim shook his head. "No, but I think he may have gone to the bar to catch up with friends."

  Again Adi was struck by the difference between the friendly man she’d met at Honi’s bedside and the tired-looking guy in front of her. They held gazes for a moment before Jim said, “You were asleep.”

  As if that explained everything, he nodded, and closed the door. Adi stared at it, her nose nearly pressed against the grimy white paint. She leaned her forehead against the cool surface before straightening up. This constant barrage of passive-aggressive behavior really got on her last nerve.

  She marched into her bedroom and grabbed her jacket on the way out. Heota was a tiny place. After two days of walking up and down the two parallel roads, she recognized every house. As she approached the bar, Nina’s familiar figure in front of her walked in the same direction. Adi’s first instinct was to hold back and avoid any more confrontations. Her anger at the young woman overrode her caution. Nina had answers, and by God, Adi was going to get them out of her.