Lovestrung: A friends to lovers romance

by Karen Ferry

  It wasn’t fair, but at least it would soon be over.

  “Pippa? Are you coming or what?” Max’s voice pulled me away from my melancholic mood, and I quickly left my bedroom.

  “Hi!” I hugged him tightly. “Thanks for coming.”

  “Wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

  I stepped back and took his hand, my smile plastered on my lips. Both my brothers had inherited Dad’s sandy blond hair and tall, bulky figures, but that’s where the similarities stopped, and they took after Mama instead. Whereas Max’s hair was curly underneath the beanie I sometimes suspected him of sleeping with, Parker kept his buzzed short and also grew a beard a few years back. I often wondered if the reason was because they were identical twins and that made both of them try their hardest to not look too similar.

  “How are you, big brother?” I asked as we meandered down the hallway.

  Max shrugged and pulled at his lip ring. “Same old, same old.” His green eyes twinkled with mirth when he looked down at me. “You’re looking a little flushed, Sis. Are you all right?”

  I lay on the thick and heavy southern accent that always made people laugh. “Just fine and dandy, thanks.”

  He jerked a thumb back in the direction of my room.

  “Was that Ethan I saw leaving your bedroom just a few minutes ago?”

  My smile faltered so I averted my eyes.

  “Yep.”

  “Huh.”

  I knew what that huh meant. It meant that one other person knew that my silly crush hadn’t died down despite all my previous efforts to make him forget he’d ever seen me crying after that fateful night five years ago.

  “Anything going on that I should know about?”

  The serious question caught me off-guard and I squeezed his hand. Max had the biggest heart of the Montgomery family; he just didn’t allow many to see it. The fact that he looked like an extra from Miami Ink – again, the complete opposite of Parker whose wardrobe consisted of designer suits and shoes – and was a horrible womanizer-slash-player could be very deceiving. The truth was that he was the one person who knew the most about our winery, apart from Gramps, and that he had always known where his future would take him. He had always known that the winery would be his, and he had never regretted that his path was set in stone.

  Parker once told me in confidence that he was relieved Max felt that way about the vineyard, because that meant he could pursue his own dreams of working as a graphic designer without having to worry.

  “I promise I’m fine,” I reassured him. “Let’s enjoy ourselves for the rest of the night.”

  Not wanting my brother to ask any more embarrassing questions, I pulled him after me and downstairs. The minute I saw Mama and Dad at the landing, I released his hand and ran down faster, enveloping them in my arms when I reached them. Feeling my mom’s arms around me sent a surge of melancholy trough me, and my throat clogged with emotion.

  “Oh, Mama,” I sniffled.

  “Hey, what’s all this?” Her hand rubbed soothing circles on my back.

  “I think it finally hit me that I won’t see you for a long time.”

  “Don’t get your mom started,” Dad chuckled, and I smiled weakly up at him. “There’ll be no tears tonight. Save them for when we drive you to the airport on Monday.”

  I nodded and stepped away from Mama to give him another hug. I sighed against him and relaxed when I felt his arms give me a gentle squeeze. Dad was my rock and the foundation of our family. When I was little, I’d thought he was as big as a house, and now, standing here, the comparison came back to me. He was a big man, and even though he was now in his late fifties and a had a slight pouch, he kept in shape and was as bulky as he’d always been.

  “Come on, Pippa,” Mama said. “Why don’t you introduce us to Louisa?”

  I stepped away from Dad and took her hand. For some reason, I needed to find strength tonight, and Mama, although small in stature, was the strongest woman I knew.

  I took a deep breath and only now took in the moss-green dress and the way it fitted her small frame.

  “You look lovely,” I complimented.

  Her eyes smiled as she raised our linked hands, making me twirl slowly.

  “The prettiest girl in the world,” she whispered. “I love the bohemian style, sweetie. It suits you.”

  I’d found my dress in a second-hand shop in Charlottesville a long time ago. It was loose-fitted, with a demure neckline, and had a brown/orange print with green stripes that accentuated my eyes. I loved that it made me feel relaxed but festive at the same time. The dress looked really cute with a pair of black leggings as well, but tonight, my legs were bare.

  “Thanks, Mama.”

  The three of us went to the dining room opposite the kitchen. I saw Louisa sitting on the couch next to Gramps and I steered my parents toward them. Dad had already met Louisa a couple of times when he’d been visiting Gramps every Monday, but Mama hadn’t. I was sure they’d get along from the get-go, and when Louisa noticed us and greeted us with a wide smile, I knew I’d been right.

  “Mrs. Montgomery, how nice to meet you,” she exclaimed and stood up.

  Mama reached out her hand. “You, too. Please, call me Vivian.”

  “All right.”

  Mama looked behind Louisa’s back and my eyes followed hers. Gramps was surrounded by my other brother, Parker, his wife, Teresa, and their twin daughters, Kiera and Kayla. He was in his element. Ethan sat down next to him on the couch, and when the twins saw their chance to climb from Parker’s lap to his, it was beyond hard to stop myself from swooning at the blinding smile he showed them.

  I missed that smile.

  Louisa touched my arm briefly and I turned my head back to hers.

  “Do try not to worry about Frederik, Pippa. We’ll be fine.”

  I nodded and tried to let go of the tension in my body, willing it away.

  “I know.”

  Mama put her arm around my shoulders. “Has Pippa told you about the time she dared Max, Parker and Ethan to race her to The Sanders-Monticello trail and they ended up having to carry her back to our truck at the entrance because she slipped on some rocks and sprained her ankle?”

  “Mama,” I protested. “We were kids.”

  Mama winked at me before she went on to talk with Louisa about the wild heathens her children were. I zoned in and out, unable to focus on her tales for once. My stomach twisted and turned, and it was no longer butterflies I felt – it was dread.

  How the hell had I been so stupid to think I could go through with this?

  When the conversation lulled, I excused myself.

  “Are you all right?” The worry creased on Mama’s forehead made me determined to not fall apart at the seams in front of her.

  “I’m just going to go fetch you and Dad something to drink.” I laughed, hoping she didn’t hear how hollow it was. “I’m being a bad hostess, forgetting to get you refreshments.”

  I fled to the kitchen and pressed a hand against my churning stomach. With closed eyes, I felt my way through the kitchen until my hand found the fridge and I rested my forehead against the cool stainless steel. I groaned when I heard the footsteps from someone approaching me from behind.

  “Penelope?”

  “Not now, Ethan,” I pleaded.

  “What’s wrong?”

  His warm hand on my back made me shiver.

  “Can’t you just leave me alone when I ask you to for once?”

  “Are you sick?”

  Was I?

  At once, the answer was as clear as glass.

  I was feeling homesick and I hadn’t even left yet.

  I shook my head.

  “No, I’m not sick. I just don’t think I can do this.”

  His hands on my shoulders made me tense, but when he pressed down on them, I turned around. I couldn’t seem to face him, though, and kept my head lowered.

  “This?” he asked.

  “I don’t…I don’t think I can
leave. I’m terrified.”

  Pain lanced through me as I admitted how scared I was. I felt pathetic.

  “Come on,” Ethan murmured and placed his hand on my cheek. “That doesn’t sound like the woman I know.”

  I didn’t feel like the grown-up I kept insisting I was. Instead, I felt like that little girl again who dreamed big, but was secretly afraid of pursuing the dream. I dreaded the triumph I’d no doubt find in his gaze and held my breath.

  “Why are you terrified?” he whispered.

  “I’ve never travelled before. I’ve never been gone for so long. What if something happens to Gramps and I’m not here? What if…”

  “There’s no use in thinking about what if’s,” he interrupted, his voice hard. “You’ve wanted to do this for a decade, Pippa. You need to do this. For yourself, but also…”

  I opened my eyes when he cut himself off and frowned.

  “Also?” I prompted.

  He looked away and shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you go and have the time of your life.”

  I put my hand on his wrist, holding him to me.

  “I thought you’d say I should stay.”

  His eyes snapped back to mine and he bent his head. “Never let fear hold you back, Penelope. Don’t give it the power to hold you from something you want. You hear me?”

  I nodded as he raised his hands and framed my face.

  His next words made my breath hitch. “I want you to have this experience. To fly free and spread your wings. And then…” He took a deep breath, the passion in his eyes impossible to miss. “And then come back to me.”

  Hope blossomed in my soul.

  “To you?”

  “Us,” he corrected, dashing the hope at once. “Come back to all of us.”

  “Oh. Yes, of course I’ll come back.”

  “Good.” His thumbs stroked my cheeks once before he stepped away. “Let’s go back to the others.”

  I nodded and attempted a smile through trembling lips. “I’ll just check on dinner and get Mama and Dad drinks. Then I’ll join you.”

  His lips tilted up at the corners while his eyes turned despondent.

  “I’ll miss you, Pippa.”

  On a low sigh, he turned on his heels and went back to the guests. I wanted to call out to him, to tell him to come back, but I didn’t.

  Of course I didn’t. It was too late. Whatever he’d been about to say had to remain unsaid, at least for the time being. Ethan was right – I had to go on this journey for my own sake. If I gave in to the doubts – to fear – and remained in my job at Dad’s construction company, I was afraid I’d end up bitter, resenting myself for not having the guts to follow my dreams.

  Trying to gather myself, I counted to ten and breathed deeply.

  I hoped Ethan didn’t plan on coming with me to the airport on Monday. I’d already forbidden Max and Parker to tag along – saying goodbye to my parents was bad enough. I didn’t want to be a blubbering mess when I got on the plane, and I was worried that’s exactly what would happen if the whole family turned up.

  No. I had to say goodbye to Ethan tonight.

  The thought pierced my heart.

  Leaving my family was easy, because I knew they were happy for me.

  But abandoning my heart – saying goodbye to Ethan – was excruciating.

  As I grabbed the glasses from a cabinet, I vowed to spend the next year enjoying myself. I’d do what I wanted to do, keep my blog updated with the things I experienced and saw, and that’d be that.

  When I poured the wine, a seed of a plan rooted itself in my brain. My hand on the bottle froze in mid-air, and my heart began to pound.

  No. I couldn’t…but…maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn’t deny my heart one last goodbye. Maybe he’d reject me again, but I was willing to take that risk.

  What I wasn’t willing to do was give up.

  7

  Mad As A Hatter

  All through dinner, I paid attention to my family as much as possible. The atmosphere was cheerful and loud just like always when we were gathered. Teresa, Parker’s wife of the past seven years – they had been high school sweethearts who still seemed just as in love now as they had been in their teens – was sitting opposite me, and she was eager to hear all about what I had planned to see the next few months.

  She pulled at one of her bouncy, black curls, and not for the first time, I was awestruck by her beauty. Due to her African American roots, Parker had had to take a lot of shit when they became an item back in the day – unfortunately, plenty of racist bigots still lived in the South – but they’d always had each other’s backs, and it seemed the antagonists didn’t faze them at all. It only made them grow closer, and I was glad they’d stuck it out. They were madly in love, and that love only grew as the years passed.

  “I don’t have everything figured out yet,” I told her as we sat down to have dessert, “but I have a list of places I want to see.”

  “And then?”

  “Then…” I shrugged lightly. “I’ll play it by ear.”

  “Just like that?” she blinked.

  I winked playfully at her. “Yes. As long as I have my laptop and Wi-Fi, my plan is to go wherever my whim tells me. You know I’m documenting my travels on my blog, right?” She nodded but still looked confused. “Well, part of my plan is to let my followers choose where I go next after my stay in Amsterdam ends in three months.” Leaning closer toward her, excitement took over. “I’ll give them three options from my main list, write some pointers down about each country, and then have them vote which option to take. Whichever gets the highest score, that’s where I’ll go.”

  She laughed and shook her head. “That’s a crazy idea, but I love it.”

  I grinned at her and took another sip of wine.

  “I know.”

  It was crazy but it was perfect.

  As the hours passed, I made sure to collect as many memories as I could. I took photos of my family, we laughed, danced and probably drank too much, but it was perfect.

  Mama and Dad were the least to leave. Well, almost.

  Ethan was staying the night again. Since my parents now lived in Richmond, and he was based in Blacksburg for the time being, no one would be able to drive him home. When they’d first told me about my going away party, I’d been quick to text him and to offer him a bed for the night just like he’d had before. I wanted to show him that I was determined to keep him as my friend, and that I was willing to work for it.

  I doubted my subconscious had already gotten the wild idea that had popped into my head a few hours ago, but as it turned out, it couldn’t be better. What I was about to do would either end up yet another embarrassing moment in my life – or the best I’d ever experienced.

  Nervous, I went to knock on his door after I’d made sure Gramps was settled for the night. I wasn’t drunk, but there was no denying the fact that I was tipsy.

  Still, I knew what I was doing.

  My blood buzzed in my veins when it wasn’t the door to his bedroom that opened at my knock. Instead, it was the one to the bathroom, and my lips parted at my second look at Ethan half naked in my house.

  Shit.

  My memory hadn’t done him any justice at all. Drops of water clung to his smooth chest again, making me feel parched, dying to lick them off and soothe my parched throat, but I wasn’t that drunk that I had the guts to actually go ahead and do it.

  Oh, but how I wished I was.

  “Pippa?” he asked, a light frown on his forehead.

  This was it.

  “Do you have a minute?” I waved my hand at his bedroom door. “It won’t take long.”

  “Sure.” He grinned at me. “But can I at least put on some clothes first?”

  I rolled my eyes and stepped away from his room.

  “Fine,” I sighed. “Let me know when it’s safe to come inside.”

  “Just give me a minute.” Quickly, he shuffled through the door and shut it behind hi
m.

  As I leaned against the wall, my heart started to pound against my ribs. I refused to listen to my head screaming at me to not even attempt this, and focused on my heartbeat instead.

  Thump. Thump. Thump.

  I counted twenty before the door opened again.

  “It’s safe,” Ethan smiled at me as he stepped back to let me inside. He’d put on faded black jeans and a white T-shirt – his feet were bare – and his damp hair was pushed away from his face.

  “Thanks.”

  “What do you want to talk about?” he asked and shut the door behind me. “Still having doubts about your trip?”

  I shook my head and turned around when I’d reached the end of his bed. The only light in the room came from the outdated lamp on the bedside. The softness of the low glow made me feel braver than I was.

  “No. You were right about what you said earlier.” I smiled softly. “I need to go. I have to follow my dream.”

  He put his hands in his back pockets as he came closer and I lost my train of thought as I zeroed in on the way his biceps flexed slightly.

  “Then what?”

  Adrenaline coursed through my body and I wet my lips. It was now or never – whatever the outcome, I’d face it with my head held high.

  “Let me ask you something,” I hedged and sat down on his bed. I pushed my dress down to cover my thighs. “Do you still think of me as a sister?”

  His eyes widened in surprise.

  “What?”

  “Answer the question.”

  He rubbed his hands over his eyes and started to pace in front of me. Clearly, he hadn’t expected that question.

  “I don’t know,” he mumbled, his movements tense. “Maybe not like a sister but…” He stopped and glanced down at me, crossing his arms. My eyes flickered down to the clenched fists at his sides, making me wonder why my question made him so tense. “You’re family.”

  I breathed a small sigh of relief. If his answer had been yes, I’d have let go of the madness at once, but this…this was good. It was better than that.