Lovestrung: A friends to lovers romance

by Karen Ferry

  Penelope

  Could I mend my broken heart?

  Would it be better to sever all ties to the man

  I’d always loved?

  Should I learn to love another man?

  All these questions, and I didn’t have an answer to a single one of them.

  26

  Excuses, excuses

  “Pippa, you have to eat something. Don’t let a guy take away your fondness for my baking, damn it.”

  I looked at the chocolate muffin on the plate in front of me, but I had no appetite. When I’d found Ethan had gone and taken the dogs with him, I’d run to Ella’s place. I couldn’t go home to Gramps, and my parents were too far away. Besides, her home always seemed so warm and welcoming. When I’d knocked on her door and practically collapsed into her arms, she gave me what I needed: a shoulder to cry on without filling the silence with senseless words that we both knew wouldn’t help. She’d taken my things and told me in her no-nonsense, mothering tone of voice that I could stay with her for as long as I wanted. Then she’d sat me down at her bar in the kitchen and started to make tea.

  She’d make one hell of a mom one day, my Ella.

  “I’m sorry, doll.” I raised my head, and when I saw my friend’s compassionate eyes staring back at me, the tears welled up in my own. “I can’t seem to stop crying.”

  She took my hand and squeezed it. “Pfft. Don’t worry about it. Was I wrong to tell you what I’d found?”

  I shook my head. “No, it was the right thing to do. I only wish I’d been alone.”

  Her lips lifted in a crooked smile. “You and Ethan have been joined at the hip since you got together, so that probably wouldn’t have been possible.”

  I sighed and started to tear the muffin apart. “Did I overreact? Should I have stayed with him, let him explain?”

  She started nibbling on her lips, causing me to frown. “I don’t know, babe. I really don’t.” Her eyes took on a faraway look as she seemed to mull it over. “I kinda wish I wasn’t so good with computers. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have found out that my on-and-off again boyfriend had been keeping this other, almost secret life for me.”

  “Crap. I’ve been so selfish, only thinking about myself since I got here.” I hunched my shoulders. “You seem surprisingly calm, given everything that’s happened this morning.”

  “Well, if you’d been a fly on a wall, you’d have seen me acting far from calm. I threw a lamp at him.”

  I blinked. “You did what?”

  She picked up her cup of tea, all the while smiling wide. “You heard me.”

  A flabbergasted laugh escaped my mouth. “Go, Ella.”

  She cringed. “Actually, I wish I hadn’t lost my temper like I did, but it’s too late to rewind the events. Fucking men.”

  Her cell started to vibrate on the table between us, and I couldn’t help but see the name Luke flashing on the screen before she swiped the red button.

  “He’s been calling every thirty minutes since I left,” she muttered.

  I bit my lip. “Are you going to forgive him?”

  “I haven’t decided yet. Ugh.” She rubbed her eyes. “I still have to write that stupid article, you know.”

  I shuddered. “Ugh.”

  “Yeah. Anyway,” she sighed, “I have to, otherwise I’ll be out of a job. Plus, my boss has promised to let me run with my own leads if I write this exposé. I have to think of my career.”

  I nodded, though it didn’t sit right with me. “Do you think Luke will try to talk you out of it?”

  She snorted. “Uh, yeah. That’s the only reason he’s calling.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Look, we aren’t like you and Ethan, babe. We don’t pour our hearts out, declaring our undying love for one another. We fight most of the time, and then we fuck. That’s it.”

  “That doesn’t sound healthy, Ella.”

  “You’re probably right,” she muttered. “Maybe…” For the first time in a long time, I saw a sheen of vulnerability in her eyes.

  “Maybe what?”

  “Maybe it’s time we cut each other loose for good. Maybe it’s best for both of us.”

  Not knowing what to say, I stared down at the now completely ruined muffin. We sat in silence for a long time, lost in our own thoughts, and I kept reliving everything that had happened since this morning. A sharp pang swept through my chest when I thought about Ethan now. I couldn’t bear to look at the pictures on my phone again. To see him with so many other women, even though I knew none of them had ever had that connection with him like I did, but it was one woman in particular that made me see red.

  Astrid. God, how I hated that she’d had sex with Ethan. I loathed that she had feelings for him – it was clear to see through the haze of lust shining from her eyes when she’d looked at him, kissed him, when we’d met at the café all those weeks ago, but it was also evident in the photos. I couldn’t understand how he’d failed to see that.

  “Babe,” Ella’s low voice brought me back to the here and now.

  “What?”

  “Do you love him?”

  I breathed deeply, not wanting to burst into tears again. “Yes. I’ve always loved him.”

  She nodded. “Then you’ll be all right.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I just do. I may be a cynic when it concerns my own love life, but I recognize love when I see it. And he loves you, Pip. I saw how you were together last night, remember? You only had eyes for each other – he never looked at all the women eyeing him up. You are all he sees. Try to remember that, yeah?”

  I didn’t doubt he loved me, but his betrayal – his lack of trust – was what hurt me the most.

  “But what if I’ll never be able to trust him again?”

  She released my hand and sat back in her chair. “A hundred bucks says you will.”

  For the first time in hours, I laughed. “What? You’re going to bet on it? You can’t be serious.”

  She raised an eyebrow at me, her signature tell that she wasn’t bullshitting me.

  “Are you saying you’re too chicken to take me on?”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Ooh, now you’ve done it.” I extended my hand, and she clasped it firmly. “You’re on.”

  “You’re going to lose, you know.”

  I shrugged and released her hand. Truth be told, this was one bet I wanted to lose with every fiber of my being, but I didn’t tell her that, and I needed to hold on to my anger at Ethan for at least a few more days.

  It wouldn’t be hard to do. Now that the initial shock was over, I was furious with him.

  “I can’t sit here and mope all day,” I sighed and stood from my seat. “Want to hit the City Market? I need to get some supplies for my next project.”

  Her chair scraped against the hardwood floor as she got up as well.

  “Are you sure you want to go out today of all days?”

  I rolled my eyes and took the plate to the kitchen sink. “I do my best thinking when I’m walking, but I don’t want to think about Ethan for a couple of hours.” I rested my back against the counter and crossed my arms. “I have a business to set up, so I want to get the ball rolling on that.”

  Ella grinned at me and mirrored my movements. “Only if you promise to make that delicious peppermint sugar scrub again?” She ran a hand over her rosy cheeks. “I swear, my skin has never looked better. You’ve got a customer for life.”

  Warmth at her praise spread through me and I nodded. “I promise. Just let me go get cleaned up, and I’ll be ready.”

  “You’ve got it, babe.” She winked at me. “Who needs men anyway?”

  I didn’t need men, I thought when I went to her bathroom. But I needed Ethan in my life. The question was, if I needed him to be my boyfriend again, or if we’d be better off as the friends we once were.

  The City Market was one of the things I’d missed while travelling. I loved walking among the stalls and finding hidden gems –
and there were plenty of those – and now, taking a tour with Ella, her arm linked with mine, I managed to forget my aching heart for a while.

  “So, tell me more about the gorgeousness you’re going to have in your store,” Ella asked after we’d picked up several cheeses from a nearby farm.

  I nibbled on my lip. “Are you sure you want to hear about it?”

  She shook her head. “Don’t be silly. Of course I want to hear all about it. And I’m going to write a spread about it and run with it on opening day, too. You need all the publicity you can get, babe, and what kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t use my magnificent way with words and wrote about it?”

  I was touched by her willingness to help. “It’ll take months of planning,” I warned her, “and I haven’t even found a place to rent yet. The first year is crucial for a new business. What if I fail?”

  She waved off my worries. “Pfft. Details. Take it one day at a time, and you’ll get there.” She leaned closer. “And you won’t fail, I’m sure of it.”

  “I hope you’re right. All right, here’s the deal…”

  I talked her through each step I’d taken the last few weeks. She gave me her undivided attention, and even offered some advice. It felt good to talk to someone else but Ethan about my grand plans and knowing that she supported me and wanted me to succeed gave me the boost in confidence I’d needed. It was one thing to have your boyfriend do it, in my book; no matter what, he’d offer his support – or should, anyway – but your friends would always tell you the truth. Knowing Ella well as I did, she’d cut through the bullshit and tell me if I was on the wrong track.

  We stopped at a stall that sold some amazing artwork and jewelry.

  “So?” I glanced at her and picked up a beautiful watercolor of Lake Anna.

  “I love your plans, Pippa.”

  “Penelope,” I murmured.

  She frowned at me. “What?”

  I shrugged. “I’m not a child anymore – haven’t been for a while. I thought it was best I let go of that part of my life; besides, I’m not an adventurer anymore.” I squared my shoulders. “I’m about to become a successful businesswoman.”

  “Huh,” she clucked her tongue. “That’s going to take me a while to get used to. But, it makes sense in a weird, unfamiliar way.”

  “Yeah, it does.”

  I turned to the middle-aged woman who manned the stall. “I love your work.”

  She beamed at me. “Thank you, dear, but I’m not the artist. My son, Ciaran, is.”

  I nodded. “I see. Is he here?”

  She shook her head. “Sadly, not today. He’s a bit shy and doesn’t leave his studio often.” She leaned closer and wrinkled her nose. “A bit of a loner, my boy is, but I’m sure he’ll grow out of it. He’s only nineteen, after all.”

  I smiled, understanding what she meant.

  “That’s a shame.” An idea struck me, and going with my instincts, I pulled my wallet from my handbag and gave her one of my newly printed business cards. “Do you think he’d be willing to talk with me about showcasing his work?” Her mouth popped open in a surprised O, and I hurried to explain. “I’m opening a store later this year, and I’d love to feature a few pieces. I’m not an expert on art, but they’d blend in beautifully with the rest of my stock.”

  My heart galloped with nerves. I’d never so boldly pushed myself on a possible business opportunity before, but it was now or never.

  The lady snatched the card from my extended hand

  “Oh, my. I’m sure he’d be overjoyed. I’ll make sure he calls you, dear.”

  I smiled at her. “Thank you.” I looked down at the watercolor and glanced at the price tag. It wasn’t steep, but it wasn’t cheap, either. The strange thing was that I already felt a strong attachment to it. “I’d love to buy this for myself now but have a few more stops to make. Can I come back and collect it in about an hour?”

  She gave me another beaming smile and took it from my hand. “No problem at all. I’ll wrap it up and keep it for you while you enjoy your shopping.”

  “Perfect, thanks.”

  Her mood was infectious, and I instantly felt better. Her eyes sparkled with mirth as we said our goodbyes, and I breathed a small sigh of relief when we went on our way. When I looked back, I grinned at the sight of the lady as she held her phone up to her ear, talking animatedly to her son, I presumed.

  “Wow, look at you,” Ella gave me a one-armed hug when I turned back to face her. “You haven’t even opened yet, and you’re already acting like a cool, calm, and collected businesswoman. I’m proud of you.”

  I laughed, almost drunk from giddiness. “Thanks, doll.”

  I felt a little lighter at heart and decided right on the spot that even though my personal life might be a shambles, I was absolutely going to kick ass at running a business.

  Today, that was all that mattered.

  Tomorrow, I’d think about Ethan and my woes.

  A small voice inside my head told me I was in denial, but I brushed it aside.

  I might not be traveling anymore, but the next few months were still going to be an adventure, and I planned on making the most of it, with or without the love of my life.

  Hopefully with him, but I still needed time to process everything that had happened, and I still needed to dig deep into my heart and find out if I could ever trust him again.

  I looked down at my phone when it started to ring and groaned when I saw his name flashing on the screen. Damn him. It was as if his brain was wired to mine.

  “Are you going to answer it?” Ella asked from next to me.

  “Absolutely not.” I swiped the red button and put it on silence. “He can wait.” I smiled at her and gave her a reassuring pat on her arm. “Right now, I want to finish our shopping, and once we’ve collected my wonderful art, I want to celebrate this amazing experience by taking you out for a late lunch. What do you say?”

  Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she returned my smile. “I’m never going to refuse a free meal, that’s for sure.”

  Satisfied with today’s achievement, I resumed walking, determined to push all thoughts of Ethan to the back of my mind again. It wouldn’t be easy, but I’d told him not to call me before I was ready to speak with him.

  My heart might think I was, but my mind refused to give in.

  27

  Welcome To Crazy Town

  The following days, I threw all my energy into finding a place to rent for my store. I stayed the first two days with Ella but even though she told me I was welcome to live with her for as long as I wanted, I knew I should go home to Gramps. But when I returned home, it only took me hours spent in the company of him and Louisa until I realized it was also time I found my own apartment.

  This growing up thing was tough, but when I saw the way Louisa was with him – the time and care she took to make sure he wanted for nothing – I came to terms with the fact that he didn’t really need me anymore. Truth be told, I was excited and a little bit relieved that I could go on with my life. That the fact I wasn’t here meant that I didn’t have to feel guilty. He was in the best of hands, but I still wanted to live close to him. So, while searching for the perfect place for my business, I was also in search of a new home for myself.

  However, after a week of perusing the online realtors, I realized the task was much easier said than done.

  “God, what a fortune,” I muttered, hunched over my laptop on the eighth day. Bernie lay at my feet, snoring away as usual.

  “What’s that?” Gramps lowered his newspaper, glasses perched precariously on his nose.

  I waved my hand, frowning at the screen.

  “Why does every apartment practically cost you your firstborn?” I groused. “It’s insane.”

  He chuckled, and my ears picked up on the ruffling of paper as it crinkled in his hands.

  “My dear girl, all you have to do is ask, and…”

  “No,” I cut him off, my voice sharp. “I’m not going to
take any more money from you. We’ve already discussed this, Gramps. No means no.”

  “You didn’t take my money,” he corrected me sternly. “I simply gave you your inheritance.”

  He let out a small harrumph, and I bit my lip to stop myself from snorting out loud. Louisa sat across from me at the kitchen table and smiled serenely.

  “So stubborn,” Gramps grumbled.

  “I feel like I’m having a déjà vu,” I grinned at him, “only this time, I’m the one to throw out the pot meet kettle part instead.”

  He chuckled and disappeared behind his paper again. “Well, if you’re sure…?”

  Sobering up, I stood from my chair and gave him a hug. “I’m sure,” I answered softly. “But thank you for offering.” I straightened and smiled at Louisa. “And don’t tell Mama or Dad that I find the whole apartment-hunting part a challenge, please.”

  Gramps craned his neck and looked up at me. “Why not? They’re your parents.”

  “Because…” My voice trailed off, unsure whether I should give him the real reason or lie.

  But weren’t lies the reason I was avoiding my phone like the plague?

  Sighing, I went back to my seat.

  “I don’t want them to know about my uncertain situation with Ethan, and Mama will demand details the minute she hears I’m looking for my own place. I need to already have an apartment before I tell them it didn’t work out between us.”

  The words burned like acid, but that’s the conclusion I’d come to the last week. Being with Ethan had been like a dream – a glorious, out-of-this-world, remarkable dream – but that’s all it was. I had to admit that it had all been too good to be true, and that was why I’d hid my phone in a drawer upstairs; even though I’d blocked his number, I knew I’d be so tempted to read his messages or to even call him, but I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes again.

  “Come now, Penelope.” Gramps gave me a sympathetic smile as he patted my hand. “The two of you are far from over. It was only a tiff, not a lover’s spat. You’ll forgive him, he’ll come running, and then you can move in with him instead.”