Daughter of Shadows (To Darkness Bound Book 1)

by Zandria West

  I open my mouth, but my mind is blank. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to think.

  I’m the key?

  I’m the key?

  What the hell?

  What does that even mean?

  ‘We will protect you, Lana. I swear it to you. We’ll be with you every step of the way,’ Gabriel says. I feel the other two coming closer too. I stand frozen as they wrap me up in an embrace, the three of them surrounding me, comforting me.

  ‘I’m ready to watch the video,’ I say numbly. ‘I need to see my Dad.’

  ‘I’ll go procure us a laptop then,’ Alex says, squeezing me tighter for a moment then letting me go.

  Even the hot water can’t dissolve the numbness I feel. I stand in the shower a long time. The blood runs off me. The dirt washes away. But I don’t feel clean. Jamie is dead. I’m alone. I don’t belong here, but I have no home to go to anymore. I’m the key.

  The thoughts go around and around my head, but repetition doesn’t make my mind any clearer.

  I close my eyes, tears mingling with the water of the shower, my sobs muted by the sound of the water rushing.

  ‘Lana,’ I start at the sound of a voice, my heart racing. It’s Reuben. I can just make him out through the steamed-up glass.

  What the hell is Reuben doing in my bathroom?

  I go to tell him to leave but then I see that he’s standing so carefully with his back angled to me, I can only make out the broad sweep of his shoulders, the mess of his hair. He’s not watching me, just keeping me company.

  I turn the water off. ‘Can you pass me a towel, please?’ I say, and he grabs a big fluffy white towel off the rack and hands it across without turning.

  ‘Thanks,’ I wrap it around myself and step out.

  ‘I know what it’s like,’ he says, his voice gravelly and low but gentle, nonetheless. ‘I know what it’s like to lose everybody, to lose your home. When I chose to go with Gabriel, to do the work we did together, my family disowned me. I walked away knowing I could never go back.’

  ‘Your family aren’t all dead,’ I say, the bitterness of my words taking me by surprise.

  Reuben flinches. ‘You might not know how wolf packs work, Lana. To be cast out is to be dead. To be worse than dead. They will not let my name be spoken, ever. They will not allow themselves even to think of me. It’s like I never existed to them, now. That is our way.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I say, putting a hand on his arm. The last thing I meant was to hurt him.

  He turns to face me. ‘Gabriel, Alex, Grayson, they became my family. We call each other brother for a reason. The tie we share is deeper than blood. Realer.’

  I swallow and nod, holding my gaze on a crack in the far wall, tears I refuse to cry filling my eyes and smudging my vision.

  ‘Look at me, Lana,’ Reuben says, placing one huge hand either side of my face. His touch is tender as he turns me to finally meet his gaze. ‘Really look at me.’

  I find myself staring into eyes so green and so wild, so strong and so loving my heart almost skips a beat.

  ‘You will never be alone, Lana, unless you choose it. As long as you want me, I am here for you. As family. As… whatever you need…’ His voice is a deep rumble. Something shifts in the core of me in response.

  Before I even let myself think about what I’m doing, I’m leaning up and pressing my lips against his. The low growl he lets out vibrates in the centre of my chest. He places an arm around the back of my shoulders and draws me closer. He bites my lower lip and sweeps his tongue into my mouth, meeting mine. Need flickers within me, a tiny spark that I know could quickly light a fire that would burn everything away.

  ‘Lana…’ he groans.

  The towel drops and he runs his fingers along the length of my spine, his touch igniting the Bondmark on my back in a cascade of sparks.

  I pull away, gasping ‘My back! I can feel the mark… I couldn’t feel it at all after what she did to me, but now…’

  ‘Let me see,’ Reuben grasps my shoulders and turns me so my back faces him. For a long moment he is silent and disappointment floods me. I must have been imagining it. The Bondmarks are gone. The witch destroyed them, and they’re never coming back.

  Then Reuben pulls me closer. I feel the hard shaft of his cock pressing into my lower back through his jeans. He kisses the side of my neck, his hand finding my breasts, and I forget about everything. Everything.

  He kisses lower, the warmth of his lips and the roughness of his stubble passing down the flat blade of my shoulder, and onto my back.

  Oh my fucking god. I can feel the Bondmark glowing.

  I turn my forearms up to check them and cry out in surprise. My beautiful crow and snake, the signs that had been so utterly wrecked by Clarissa’s magic, are there: dark and clear and perfect. No scarring. No indication of the damage that was done to me.

  I close my eyes and grind my buttocks against Reuben’s massive thighs, shifting my feet so my legs part slightly.

  ‘Lana…’ he groans in my ear. I’ve never heard my name sound like that before. Just as one of his hands slips from my breast to glide down my stomach, I hear a heavy door opening and closing.

  ‘It’s Alex,’ I say, realisation somehow managing to break through the fog of lust that I’m drifting in. ‘The laptop. The video…’

  Reuben moans and releases me. I turn to face him. His eyes are dark with desire, his cheeks flushed, the muscles down the side of his neck taut with restraint.

  ‘Later,’ he says.

  I open my mouth to say something, I have no idea what, but he kisses me before I can. ‘This can wait, Lana. I’m not going anywhere. You need answers.’

  I nod, my heart still pounding in my chest. I want him with a desperate longing that almost makes everything else seem insignificant. Almost.

  ‘Bad timing?’ the door cracks open and Alex grins in, his eyes raking my body.

  ‘I was just… we were just…’

  ‘I think I can guess. I’ll get the laptop fired up. I got it from a blackmarket tech dealer in Dimside, no guarantees it will work. Join us when you’re ready.’

  I swallow and nod, as Reuben picks my towel up off the ground and passes it to me.

  ‘Oh and there are some clean clothes waiting for you in the bedroom.’

  Five minutes later and I’m dressed and have almost recovered my composure. Reuben sits close to me, his huge arm pressing against mine while Alex types passwords into the laptop and waits for the right software to upload. Gabriel stands on the other side of me, frowning.

  I turn to him. ‘So, this is what your mother meant to happen? That I’d be enchanted, I’d be the key? Some random human girl? This is how her spell was supposed to work?’

  I’m still unable to comprehend what he has told me.

  Gabriel looks away for a moment, seemingly deep in thought.

  ‘The thing you must understand, Lana,’ he finally says, ‘is that our craft is never just subject to our own intention. We draw on powers that are greater, and deeper, and stronger than we are. It is often those powers that direct the outcome of an enchantment, for their own purposes as much as ours…’

  Before I can ask anything else, the computer beeps.

  ‘Alright. We’re in,’ Alex says. I see him exchange a look with Gabriel.

  37

  LANA

  I feel suddenly terrified. I’m desperate to know what Dad wanted to tell me before he died, but I don’t know if I can bear to see his face and hear his voice. I long to see him and it terrifies me. After everything that has already happened today, I’m exhausted, heavy, and heartsore.

  ‘We’re with you, cub,’ Reuben says. ‘We’re right beside you.’ He takes my hand. Somehow, despite my terror, it comforts me. Whatever’s going to happen, I’m not alone.

  ‘Ready?’ Alex turns to me, his expression serious for once.

  I nod and pass him the USB. He plugs it in, double clicks on a folder then double clicks on a video
file.

  It begins to play. For a moment the image is grainy and shaky, and then the resolution settles. I swallow and tighten my grip on Reuben’s hand. Gabriel is on my other side. Alex takes his place standing behind me, his hands resting lightly on my shoulders.

  My dad is in his favourite armchair by the window. It must have been not long before he died. He looks terrible: his skin is yellowing, he’s lost so much weight, there’s a grim greyness around his eyes. But it’s wonderful to see him. I long for him with my whole being. I wish that I could sit beside him one more time and ask him questions, just be with him.

  Lana, my darling girl. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell this to you face to face. I just… I couldn’t bear it in the end. I have asked Gabriel to help you. You can trust him.

  I let out an involuntary sigh at his words. It’s not that I doubt Gabriel, not after everything we’ve been through, but I’ve taken so much on trust. It’s a huge relief to hear my father confirm what Gabriel has told me.

  There was always something about you, sweetheart. Even before you were born, signs and portents gathered…

  He coughs, a horrible wracking sound, and wipes his mouth on a handkerchief. I think my father was the last person left in the whole world who still used a proper handkerchief. My eyes fill with tears. I miss him so much.

  I am not a superstitious person, you understand. I’m a scholar. I spent my life in service of this human world we inhabit, trying to protect the safety we have taken for granted for so many years.

  Most people are almost incapable of imagining how their world might change. They do not imagine it, so they do not prepare for it. But as an archaeologist, everything I know and see tells me that change comes. Civilizations collapse. Great powers turn to dust.

  There were mentions in ancient texts, from the time that the first Barrier was created, of a key that was hidden that would restore the Barrier when its magic begins to fail. I’ve chased shadows, excavated ruins in every corner of the world on nothing more than rumour and supposition, looking for that key.

  He shifts uncomfortably in his chair. I see a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead, as if the simple act of speaking is almost too great an effort. I wish I could do something to ease his pain. I want to help carry the load he bears, but I know it’s too late.

  I travelled the world and worked day and night on my research, leaving you and your brother in the care of others. I was so driven. I did not see what was before my very eyes.

  It began when you were small but grew as you did. I told you about the time when you were only little, I took my eye off you for just a moment and the next thing I knew you had toddled your way to the edge of the Barrier. That was not the only incident.

  I lost nanny after nanny because they were frightened of you. You talked to people they couldn’t see. Dark figures like something from a nightmare gathered around your bed at night and vanished when the light was turned on. Not to mention the pictures you drew, powerful symbols you could not possibly know the meaning of… I put it all down to an overactive imagination. I did not even think on it, really…

  He shakes his head and pauses for a long moment, turning away from the camera. I realise that I’ve actually stopped breathing. I’m waiting for his next words. Then he turns back to the camera and it feels as though he’s meeting my gaze. Looking at me. Looking into my soul.

  I told you your mother died when you were born, but that was not the truth. She left. Before you and Jamie were even a week old. She packed a bag and walked out of the hospital. No note, no message. No explanation. I was bereft. I cannot describe… I’m sorry, Lana. I’m so sorry.

  He coughs again, this cough closer to a sob.

  You were both so tiny, so fragile. The only thing I could think of was taking care of the two of you. It was easier to pretend that she had died. I almost believed it myself, eventually. Why else would she have gone and never returned? Never even made contact?

  I searched for her for years. I found traces, but they all led to dead ends. I gave up, eventually. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t tell you. Your life was hard enough, and I had no answers for you. I knew nothing. Until I found her.

  I gasp and close my eyes against a sudden wave of dizziness. I feel so strange that for a moment I think I’m going to pass out. Only the sensation of Reuben and Gabriel’s hands in mine, of Alex’s touch, helps me to stay grounded, to stay conscious.

  Your mother is alive, Lana. She is living deep in the mountainous forest near San Geraldo. She is known to the locals as la Bruja de Sangre, they speak of her only in whispers. She is a powerful sorceress. I never knew… And when I found her…

  My father looks away from the camera, visibly blanching.

  It is you, Lana. You are the key I was searching for all these years. You have the power to restore the Barrier. I do not yet fully understand what it means, but I know that it is true.

  Your mother loved you. It was for your safety that she left. Her power would have drawn them to you, had she stayed. She spent years in hiding, trying to divert attention of those who would seek to harm you, protecting you as best she could… You must be very careful, my darling girl. But your mother will tell you more. She longs to meet you. You must find her. She is waiting… I hope Gabriel might take you…

  He coughs, covering his mouth with the handkerchief. When he pulls it away, I see scarlet spots. Blood. I swallow.

  I love you, Lana. Always and forever. I am so proud of the woman you’ve become. You’re strong and smart and kind and brave. I could not have wished for a better daughter. You will need all your strength now…

  I hear a door open and my father looks up, away from the camera, and says something to somebody. The video turns off. It’s over. He’s gone.

  For a moment there’s only silence. I don’t feel anything. I’m exhausted and numb.

  And then, slowly, what my father has told me begins to take shape in my mind.

  My mother is alive.

  My mother is alive.

  I have no idea how to make sense of it.

  ‘We will find her,’ Reuben growls. ‘I promise you, Lana.’

  Gabriel places a hand on either side of my face and turns me gently to look at him. Something about his gaze soothes me. For a moment I wonder if he’s casting a spell on me.

  ‘I know the village that your father mentioned,’ he says, ‘it is near an ancient rune that I visited many years ago. I’m familiar with the rumours that a powerful sorceress lives nearby. I can take you there, just as he said.’

  ‘Give yourself some time to take it all in, angel,’ Alex murmurs, leaning in from behind me, reaching around to hold me and kissing my neck with one long, slow kiss. ‘Don’t rush yourself. So much has happened. If you want to forget everything for a while, I might just be able to help...’ He traces a line down the side of my neck and along the bare skin of my collar bone with one finger.

  I shiver and turn to see his blue eyes studying me, but instead of his usual provocative expression, I see compassion and concern in his gaze.

  ‘I’m going to meet my mum. I can’t believe I’m actually going to meet my mum. She’s alive. I’ve wanted this my whole life –’ I laugh from pure joy as tears run hot down my cheeks. Alex smiles and brushes them away with his fingertips.

  None of them want to leave me alone, so as I crawl into bed I find that I have Alex on one side and Gabriel on the other, each of them touching me, stroking me, holding me. If this is how it’s going to be, we’re going to need a bigger bed.

  Reuben leans over and kisses me deeply, then takes his place at the foot of the bed, keeping watch as though he can’t bear to leave me unprotected for even a moment.

  I close my eyes and breathe. It seems like only a moment ago that I was getting ready to leave for what I thought would be just another night’s work at Hell on Earth. Now my brother is gone, I have a magical bond with three sexy demons, I’m the key to restoring the Barrier between the human and demon worlds, and I’ve discovered
my mother is alive.

  ‘Guys, she thinks we’re sexy,’ Alex murmurs, his fingers stroking the inside of my arm, sending a shiver of energy through me despite my exhaustion. ‘That’s sweet, isn’t it?’

  I pull away and jab him with my elbow, but I can’t help smiling. I don’t know how I’m going to get any sleep tonight. I’m going to need it, though.

  All going well, tomorrow I’ll begin the journey to be reunited with my long-lost mother. After that, I might just save the world.

  THE END

  Book Two of To Darkness Bound is coming soon…

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  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Thanks to my NRHW buddies – I’m so glad to have shared the journey to publication with you all! You’re the best!!! I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

  Huge thanks to my amazing beta readers. I’m blown away by your generosity and the time and effort you put into helping me make this book the best it can be. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you all.

  Thanks to the Hell’s Belles and especially to my advance reader team for jumping in with so much enthusiasm and cheering this book on.

  Thank you to my partner and son for putting up with me while I was writing Daughter of Shadows (though whether either of you ever read it is another thing again)!!