I could feel the heat of his body across the space between us, and suddenly all I could smell was his cologne, a familiar scent from college. I found myself thinking back to that night that we’d had, and when Wes turned to face me, it was only natural that my eyes were drawn to his lips.
Wes noticed it, too, and then the next thing I knew, he had grabbed me, dragging me into his lap and kissing me passionately. I moaned against his lips, unable to get over how perfectly we fit against one another.
I felt drunk on passion already. How had I gone seven years without him, in the time since that first night together? Now, I let myself fall into the feeling of it, reveling in the way his fingers teased their way up underneath my shirt. It was all I had needed for so long, and I wasn’t thinking about all the reasons we shouldn’t be doing this.
I gave myself over to him. And as he fiddled with the buttons on my shirt, I knew there was no going back.
Chapter 7
Wes
Having Rian alone in my office had been damnably distracting, all afternoon long. It had taken everything I had to focus on my work and not on the way she grinned when she thought she had a particularly great idea, or the way that the tops of her breasts looked as she bent over to look closer at what I was doing, or the way that her hair brushed her cheek as she frowned in concentration.
She was adorable and sexy and undeniably attractive all at the same time. I was trying to go over all the reasons why I couldn’t just grab her and bend her over my desk, but seeing the way she stared at my lips was just too much for a man to take.
I pulled her into my lap and kissed her. She opened her mouth to me immediately, body begging for me to have her. She kept moving against me, abortive little shifts of her hips, and I could tell she was waiting impatiently for me to take her. How could I resist that? I wasn’t made of stone, and as much as I’d been trying to focus on work all day, there was something about watching her move, watching her explain her ideas, watching her watch me with that look of intense concentration on her face—well, I had spent the afternoon half-hard, and my erection was impossible to ignore now.
I lifted her out of my lap and set her down on the edge of my desk. She spread her legs, her pink panties on full display as her tongue absently traced her lower lip, which was flushed and swollen from our impromptu make-out session. I continued to watch her face as I pushed her panties aside and plunged my fingers inside of her.
As I’d expected, she was wet as could be, body desperate for my intrusion. Her mouth opened into a little O of surprise, and she arched her back, pushing down onto my digits in wanton desperation.
I growled and stepped into the space between her legs, melding my mouth with hers once more as I continued to work my fingers inside of her, plying her folds, opening her up to me. She clung to me, her fingers gripping tightly at my shoulders as though she was holding on for dear life.
I fumbled at my belt with my left hand and undid it and my slacks, letting them fall to the floor—but not before I fished a condom out of my wallet. I had to pull my fingers out of her so that I could open the shiny foil wrapper. Rian whined, her pussy clenching around nothing, and I couldn’t help grinning at her desperation. She didn’t seem at all self-conscious, though.
And god, wasn’t that sexy. She was making no attempt to hide how much she wanted it, and that only stoked my own desperation ever higher.
I rolled on the condom and thrust into her without a second moment of hesitation. Her hands spasmed against the desk, wrinkling papers there. I didn’t care now. Whatever we ruined, we could redo again, and better. Right now, the only thing I cared about was this beautiful vixen pressing her body up against mine.
“Oh fuck,” Rian said reverently, her whole body shuddering with pleasure as I began to move inside of her. “Yes.”
I grinned, unable to help it. Not that I was in any better shape than she was. I already felt as though I might blow my load, and we had barely gotten started. I instinctively slowed down, wanting to drag this out, wanting this to last.
After all, this might be the only chance I got to show me everything that she meant to me. With the way she had disappeared last time we slept together, who knew what this would bring.
Rian opened her eyes and fixed them on mine, an intense and unreadable look there in her darkened gaze. She wrapped her fingers around my bicep, pulling me closer, her other palm flat against the desk for leverage as she moved with me. She gasped out my name, shuddering as her pleasure spiked ever higher.
We came at the same time, bodies both singing with feeling. My body trembled with the strength of release, and Rian fell back against the desk, panting softly for breath.
In the aftermath, I felt as though I was coming back into myself, staring down at her as though she was someone I hardly knew. A stranger. Which, to be honest, wasn’t too far from the truth. Suddenly, all of my earlier misgivings came rushing back. Who knew if she planned on staying at the company. Who knew what she was thinking. She could disappear again tomorrow, and I would have nothing left except memories. Again.
It was going to be even more difficult to forget what had just happened. This edge of desperation made things even more intense than the previous time we’d slept together. Or maybe it was the sheer naughtiness of it all. She was my employee. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
But it had.
For a split second, I was tempted to invite her home with me that night. I wanted to taste her. I wanted to take her over and over again, until she was raw and spent and unable to cum anymore. I wanted to give her everything and then some, to drive her to the brink again and again.
Just as the words formed on my lips, however, I heard the sound of a vacuum cleaner outside of my office. We both jerked to attention, hurriedly beginning to pull on our clothes, like teenagers who had been caught in the middle of the act. Neither of us could look the other in the eye, and neither of us spoke.
Fuck. What the hell had just happened? I knew better than this. I should never have given in to the temptation. It was entirely inappropriate.
I forced myself to turn to face Rian. There was a part of me that wanted to pull her close, to hold her, to brush back that stray lock of hair, to feel the softness of her cheek beneath my palm again. I couldn’t do that, though. I just couldn’t.
I shook my head slowly. “We can’t,” I said quietly, trying not to read too much into the complicated set of emotions that rushed across her face at the words. I forced myself to grit out the rest of it: “We have to keep things strictly professional between us. What just happened was a mistake.” I could see the protest in her eyes, and I shook my head again. “I’m your superior,” I reminded her. “A relationship between us would be entirely inappropriate.”
Rian stared impassively at me for a long moment, but finally she nodded. “I understand,” she said. “No relationship beyond a work relationship.” She matter-of-factly started collecting her things. I wanted to stop her, to tell her that she didn’t have to rush out of there. We could go back to what we had been doing before, keep working on things.
In any case, though, it was late. Besides, I had a feeling if I kept her in there for any longer, it was only a matter of time before one of us slipped again. We couldn’t do that.
Still, I had to admit that watching her hurry out of there without a goodbye or a backward glance hurt. It was silly to feel as though I was the one who had been rejected. After all, I had been the one to remind her that we couldn’t do this.
It felt a little too much like being left behind in Nebraska back after college, though. It felt a little too much like that other time she had left without saying goodbye. What else could we do, though? There was no way we could get away with a relationship; it would be risking both of our jobs, everything we had ever worked for. At the end of the day, I knew that we were both too driven and career-minded to ever risk something like that.
Chapter 8
Rian
I was surprisingly n
ervous before going into the pitch meeting with Wes and Devin. I supposed it made a certain amount of sense. I used to feel confident as anything when it came to work things, but getting fired had been a real kick in the teeth and my confidence wasn’t what it used to be.
I was trying to pretend that was the only thing that had me feeling unsettled. I knew that was a lie, though. What I was really afraid of was that everyone would be able to tell what had happened between Wes and me. I knew that was ridiculous. We were old enough to be able to act like adults about the situation. Still, I couldn’t help second-guessing every look that he and I shared. Were we acting too formal? Too friendly? I realized that I didn’t know what normal felt like with him. During college, our rivalry had taken precedence over everything else, and since coming here, well.
I couldn’t allow myself to imagine what “normal” with Wes might feel like. I was afraid that that normal might feel a little too much like love.
I wasn’t thinking of that now, though. If there was one thing I was good at, it was focusing on the pitch to the exclusion of all else. I had worked too damn hard on this to let myself get distracted now.
I gave it all I had, pitching our ideas for the product line and how much investment we were going to need to roll it out. I was so hopeful that we would be able to secure the funding. Sure enough, Devin was nodding at the end. “I really like the idea,” he said. “Unfortunately, it’s not wholly up to me, and I do need to advocate to the board for it.”
Even though I knew it wasn’t 100 percent yet, I had to admit, I felt excited, like I had pulled in a major win for the company. And when Wes smiled at me, I nearly melted. It felt good to have my hard work recognized, and it was something I was realizing my previous company had rarely done.
“I want both of you with me when I present the idea to the board, though,” Devin added. “They respond better when they know exactly who they’re doing business with, and I like the passion that you brought to the pitch. I think they’ll respond to that.” He paused. “I’ve got a private jet, so we could go out to NYC when I’m scheduled to on Sunday. I know I’d be pulling away two of the top people in the company, though, so rest assured that we’ll get you back as soon as we can.”
He said it with a smile on his face, like he was sure we would both jump at the opportunity. And I had to admit, there was a part of me that was excited at the idea of going back to New York, even for a short time. I had been away for long enough now to realize all the things I missed. Like the amazing vegan Chinese food place that had been around the corner from my old apartment.
It wasn’t only me I had to think about, though. I couldn’t just up and leave my daughter, go jetting off to NYC on a business trip with her alone at home. She was too young for that still. Except at the same time, I couldn’t bring Ronny with me, not with Wes and Devin being there. It would have been one thing to sneak her out there with me if we were flying commercial. On a private jet, there would be no hiding.
So I found myself protesting, trying to convince Devin that it didn’t make any sense to fly us both out to New York for this. “It would be way more cost-effective for us to help with the presentation through video-chat,” I pointed out. “I’m sure the board would still get a good idea of what we’re about.”
Devin shook his head, though. “These guys, a lot of them are a little, shall we say, old-fashioned,” he said, shrugging unapologetically. “I know that they’d get a good idea of what you’re like that way, but they’d feel more comfortable if you were there in person. Unless there’s some reason you can’t come?”
For a second, one panicky instant, I wondered if he somehow knew what I was hiding. But his expression was merely curious, not accusatory, and I realized he was joking. I had to stop taking things so seriously. Still, it was hard to feel calm right now. What could I say?
I turned to Wes, deciding that appealing to him was my better bet. Surely his business sense would be against this. Besides, there was no way that he wanted to be alone with me in New York, in light of what had happened in his office while we were working on this pitch. He had to realize that it would be dangerous.
For a moment, I let myself think back to that night. God, it had been good. Even better than before. It was clear he was more experienced than he had been back in college, but it was more than that. There was something about knowing that he was the father of my daughter, that we had this undeniable connection that transcended that moment. It made it all the more special to be sleeping with him.
Even if it was just carnal lust drawing us together right then. Even if he didn’t even know about Ronny’s existence.
I had to admit, it had hurt that he was so quick to tell me that it could never happen again. I knew, logically, that he was right. But something about the way he had said it—about the fact that he had called it a mistake—that just bothered me.
I couldn’t think about that now, but I hoped he thought that that was my reason for not wanting to be in New York alone with him. I hoped he agreed that we were better off if only one of us went, and if that one person was him.
“You don’t really want both of us to go, though, do you?” I asked him. “I mean, I don’t know a ton about the company structure yet, but it does seem like overkill for both of us to go to New York. I’m just starting to get into the swing of things here, to be honest. I don’t want to lose the momentum that I’m feeling here.”
Wes frowned at me and then glanced apologetically at Devin. For a second, I thought I had won him over that easily, but then he turned that apologetic look back on me and said, “I do think it would be better for both of us to go to New York,” he said. “Or if only one of us is to go, it should be you. You’re the one who delivered the pitch with so much enthusiasm, and I think Devin’s right: if anything’s going to win over the board, it’s the fact that you clearly care about this product line.”
He paused and then shrugged, grinning crookedly at me. “Besides, I would have thought you’d jump at the chance of going back to New York. As for me, I’d much rather stay here. I’m not much of a city person.”
I stared at him for a moment, trying to come up with some way to explain why I couldn’t go. What excuse could I give, though, short of telling them about Ronny? I was backed into a corner.
Slowly, I nodded. “Okay,” I said. “Then we’ll both go.” I’d just have to figure something out. I couldn’t lose this job, and I couldn’t admit to them that I had a seven-year-old daughter I had been hiding from them. Not least of which because it would be only too easy for Wes to do the math, when he found out how old Ronny was, and figure out that the girl was his.
I walked back to my desk in a daze. “Whoa, what happened in there?” Angie immediately asked, coming into my office and shutting the door behind her.
I slumped into my chair, pressing my fingers against my closed eyelids. “Devin loved the pitch,” I told her.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Angie asked skeptically.
“Sure,” I said. “Only he loved it so much that he wants me and Wes to go with him to New York to make the pitch to the board.”
“So?” Angie asked, not connecting the dots. “Is there some reason you don’t want to go back to New York? Or do you know someone on the board from your previous job or something?”
I shook my head. “No, but I can’t just jet off to New York and leave Ronny here,” I pointed out. “It’s not like I can take her with me, though.”
Angie’s confusion evaporated, and she smiled at me. “Oh, that,” she said, as though it was nothing. “Don’t worry about it. I’d be happy to watch Ronny for you while you’re gone.”
I stared at her for a moment, surprised. Then, relief rushed through me. “That would be awesome,” I said gratefully. I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of it still, but at least I knew that I could trust Angie. She had three kids of her own, after all—three boys, even. She knew what she was doing when it came to taking care of kids. Still…
“
I’ve never been away from Ronny for that long before,” I admitted nervously.
“I know that feeling,” Angie said. “When Nico was three, my mom got sick and I had to leave him with his dad for two weeks while I went to take care of her. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Every time they called me and Nico asked when I was coming home, I felt like my heart was breaking.” She paused. “But we’ll video-chat you every night, don’t worry about it. It’ll still be hard, but she’ll be all right. You both will be.”
I smiled at her, grateful for her support. “Thanks,” I said.
Angie waved my thanks away. “You just focus on the presentation,” she said. “After all, you’re going to be representing the whole company. If you land this investment, it could mean big things for all of us.”
I grinned. “Yeah, it could,” I agreed, feeling a little glimmer of that earlier excitement come back to me.
Still, telling Ronny about it was difficult. I crouched down next to her as she sat on the couch that evening. “Sweetie, Mommy needs to go away for a work thing for a few days,” I told her.
Ronny cocked her head to the side. “How far away?” she asked. “Like on a big airplane like when we were coming here?”
“Just like that,” I said, deciding not to tell her that I was headed back to New York. She would probably want to know why she couldn’t come with me to see all of her friends there, and I wouldn’t know how to explain it to her. She didn’t know anything more about her father than Wes knew about her, and I planned to keep it that way, at least for now.
“Do I have to stay at school forever and ever?” Ronny asked.
I suppressed a smile. “Nope,” I promised her. “Angie said you could stay with her and the boys.”
Ronny’s eyes brightened. “Like a long, long, long, long sleepover?” she asked.
S is for Secret Baby Page 5
