I grabbed the asshole by one shoulder and his wrist, squeezing the wrist tightly so he would let go of Rian’s arm. Once the jerk’s grip released, I spun him away, standing between him and Rian, glaring defiantly at him. The guy didn’t take kindly to the interruption and took a swing at me, moving erratically. But drunk as he was, it was easy enough to avoid his flailing punch.
Still, the attack made me even more pissed off, and I shoved him back. Security came swooping in and grabbed both of us, hauling us toward the door while Rian yelled at them to let me go since I hadn’t done anything wrong. I couldn’t help but start laughing as we were pushed outside. The drunk grumbled something unkind and stumbled off. I didn’t pay any attention, instead turning toward Rian as she rushed out after me.
“Are you okay?” I asked her immediately, grabbing her hand and inspecting her wrist tenderly.
“What were you laughing about?” she asked suspiciously.
I shook my head, grinning up at her. “I was just thinking that you could really use a permanent bodyguard,” I teased. “Feels like I keep having to rescue you from creeps.”
Rian punched my arm lightly. “Oh, shut up,” she said, but that just made me laugh harder. Soon, she was laughing with me.
I smiled fondly down at her, and maybe it was the fact that I’d been turned on by her all night or maybe it was the fact that I was thinking back to that first night with her. Maybe it was the adrenaline that had rushed through me when I saw that guy grab her. Whatever it was, I suddenly just couldn’t resist. I grabbed her and kissed her furiously.
Rian kissed me back, clinging to me, standing up on her tiptoes to press her mouth even tighter against mine.
The next thing I knew, we were rushing hand in hand back to the hotel, laughing as we went. Maybe it was the naughtiness of it, the fact that she and I knew better than to sleep together again, or maybe it was the fact that we fit so well with one another. Maybe it was just the wine. But somehow it felt like we were desperate schoolkids again, like the last seven years apart had never happened and like we were going at it for the first time all over again.
She pulled me into her room without giving it a moment’s thought. I kicked the door closed behind us and pressed her up against it. I couldn’t keep from stroking my hands down her bare back, exploring that expanse of skin which had been so tantalizing all night long. We continued to make out frantically. She mewled as I nipped at her lower lip, and the noise went straight to my groin.
I pressed a leg between her thighs, and she rocked against me, letting out a little gasp at the delicious friction.
We had been here before, twice now, but this time, even more than either of the times before, it felt like if we crossed this line, there was no going back. I hesitated for a moment, knowing that this wasn’t the right thing to do but also knowing that there was no way I could stop myself. All the self-control in the world couldn’t keep me from stripping her down and laying her out on those sheets. She was just too wonderful for me to ignore.
She pulled away breathlessly, and I could tell from the serious look in her eyes that she was thinking the same things as I was. “I want you,” she said quietly, a certain emphasis on the words that seared them in my brain for the rest of my life. Those three words would haunt my dreams and my waking hours equally, I knew.
It was all I could do to comply with her unspoken request. I led her over to the bed and lowered her down onto it, covering her lips with mine once more.
Chapter 12
Rian
I couldn’t help but giggle as Wes’s lips traced down along the side of my stomach, his slight stubble tickling my skin. He had already stripped me out of my dress, and we were both dressed in just our underwear on the bed. Where things between us had always verged on frantic before, this time, he seemed intent on taking his time. I wasn’t complaining.
We made out until I was squirming with wet, hot lust. I had worn my sexiest semi-sheer black panties that evening, and I knew that by the time he reached them with his mouth, they would be glistening with dampness.
But he was taking his damned sweet time to get there, his tongue tracing the circles of my nipples. He licked and sucked at my breast, his dark eyes meeting mine, a teasing look to his gaze. I gasped, arching against him, but he kept his slow and steady pace, working me over until I was trembling with need and sweet lust.
He nibbled his way slowly down my body, and I arched against him, pleading with him, not even sure what it was I was asking for anymore. He tongued inside of me and I cried out, body jerking in response to the delicious sensation. He laved at my entrance, his fingers dragging sensually across my clit. Darts of pleasure tickled my lower spine, and I ached with the need for more.
When Wes finally rammed into me, his movements were slow and precise. He gave me his cock inch by slow inch, and no matter what I did, no matter how much I begged him, he wouldn’t move any faster. It was delicious and excruciating and incredible all at once, the way my body reacted to his, the way it begged for more. I had never felt like this with anyone else, that was for sure.
I sobbed as I came, my whole body convulsing with pleasure, my vision going white. But Wes didn’t stop there, didn’t release me. Instead, he continued to thrust into me, chasing his own release. It was all I could do to lie there, to cling to him, to remember how to breathe.
I spilled again a second time as he gave one final, rough thrust into me. We collapsed together bonelessly on the sheets, both panting with exertion. I quivered with the aftershocks for a long time, barely able to string together a thought, let alone speak.
I didn’t know what it was that made the sex with Wes so damned good. It had never been like this with anyone else. Was it the feelings I had for him? The fact that he was the father of Ronny and thus somehow linked to me, albeit in ways he didn’t know? I wasn’t sure, but I knew that as I lay there in his arms, I felt more content than I had in ages.
I liked him, that was the thing. He was a wonderful man. Caring, smart, successful. I had always known him to be driven, back when we were in college together, but there was something more now. There was a maturity to him that had been lacking then, and a certain self-confidence. It was clear he knew what he wanted out of life, and that he wouldn’t let anything stop him from getting it. That was sexy. Undeniably.
He was everything I could have wanted in a man, the whole package. Unfortunately, I knew that he could never be mine. I had a huge secret, one I had been keeping from him for seven years now. If he ever found out about Ronny, everything between us would change.
I rolled over, looking up at him. His eyes were closed, but as I shifted, his hand lightly stroked my lower back, soothing me. Suddenly, I wanted to tell him everything. Surely telling him about Ronny would only draw us closer together? For one brief second, I allowed myself to imagine what it would be like to be a family, the three of us.
Except that that was nothing more than wishful thinking and naivete. There was no way that Wes would just accept the fact that he had a daughter and that I had lied to him for all of these years. Best-case scenario, he would be pissed at me for keeping her from him for all this time. Worst-case scenario, he would want nothing to do with either one of us anymore. Which, oh yeah, would be a little awkward since at the end of the day, he was still my boss.
At least for now. At least until he found out about my secret and fired me for it. I wasn’t sure that it was legal for him to fire me for something like this. Would that count as an HR violation? But then again, I should have been up-front when I was hired about the fact that I had a child. Moreover, we both knew I wouldn’t have the guts to sue him for firing me without a good cause. I just couldn’t.
I sighed and snuggled closer. I was well aware of the fact that there was another, even more selfish reason that I didn’t really want to tell him about Ronny right now. I didn’t want to give this up, not yet. I liked where we were at right now, and I wasn’t ready for things to change.
I wan
ted this: to fall into bed with him, to be fucked within an inch of my life, to curl up in his arms afterward with his talented fingers stroking aimless patterns across my skin, sending little renewed prickles of lust through my body.
Still, even as I lay there, I had to face the reality of the situation. There was no way I could continue working with Wes forever without him finding out about Ronny. Nebraska was too small of a place; it was a wonder it had taken this long for him to find out about her. He was bound to see her somewhere, or else I was bound to slip up, the way I had with Angie. Not only that, but things were only going to get more difficult the longer I kept things a secret.
No, I had to tell him about her. Not right now, but soon.
It was scary to think about it. I had no way of knowing what he might do when he found out. I didn’t want Ronny to have to face the uncertainty of possibly moving again. I knew she was finally starting to feel like she had friends here, and I didn’t want to tear her away from another place, and especially not when she was just starting to feel comfortable here. That wasn’t the life I wanted for her.
But what could I do? I couldn’t go back to the past and tell him about Ronny back when I first found out that I was pregnant with her, or back when she was first born. Nor could I go back to when I was fired from my previous job and find work anywhere else other than Nebraska. Things were the way they were. And it was about time I took responsibility for my actions.
I felt conflicted, and most of all, sad. As though sensing my emotional disturbance, Wes pulled me a little closer, holding me tightly. He lightly kissed my temple. I sighed, feeling all the angst go out of me. I just couldn’t help feeling safe and secure with him, as though everything was going to be all right.
I drifted off to sleep, wishing that the feeling could last forever.
Chapter 13
Wes
I tried to focus all my attention and energy on what we were here to do today, rather than on what had happened the night before, but it was difficult to do with Rian sitting not two feet away from me there in Devin’s investment firm’s boardroom. The room was palatial and well-appointed, and Devin was clearly in his element there.
My thoughts kept drifting back to that morning, though.
Waking up alone had made something ache inside of me. I shouldn’t have expected that Rian would stay the night, but I guess there was a part of me that had let myself believe that if I fell asleep holding her in my arms, then I would wake up to the same luxurious feeling.
I had known something was wrong almost the minute we came down from our high, though. I had felt the way Rian stiffened in my arms. I had seen the look on her face as she looked up at me. There was something she was fighting with, some internal monster she didn’t want to tell me about. Instead of asking, I had wanted to bask in the moment, resolving that I would talk to her the next day.
We had plenty to talk about, after all, and we were both tired right then. Besides, we had been drinking. Better to come back to it the next day.
Except that in my head, we had come back to things first thing in the morning, before our meeting with Devin. Only that hadn’t happened. I had woken up, and Rian was gone. I wondered if she was still thinking back to the last time we had slept together, when I’d told her it was a mistake for us to sleep together. Maybe she just didn’t want to give me the chance to say anything like that again.
Or maybe this was just what she did: had sex and then disappeared. I was starting to notice a pattern here.
Either way, I’d wanted to talk to her about it, but before I could, it was time to head to breakfast with Devin before heading here so that we could do our pitch meeting. It felt like there was an elephant in the room with us as well, but I was trying to ignore that and focus.
When it was time for us to make our pitch, I found that was surprisingly easy to do—like falling back into an old habit. It helped to have Rian there with me for the pitch. She brought a sense of calm even when she had turned my whole world upside down.
I gave the introduction and an overview of the company. Then, I turned the floor over to Rian. She looked surprised when I did so, but I intended to do things just the same way we had when we were pitching to Devin. After all, this pitch was hers. She had passion and she had intelligence, and there was a reason we had her as our innovations manager.
I had to admit, I was more and more impressed as I watched her. She was nailing the pitch, and I could tell she was engaging the board members. Just like Devin had wanted, she was forging a personal connection between herself, our company, and the product line. At the end of the pitch, there was even a scattered burst of applause.
Rian looked slightly embarrassed, and I couldn’t help but put a hand on her shoulder to give her support. I had to admit I was proud of her—and even more so when the board put the matter to an immediate vote and decided to put up the investment capital.
Afterward, we all headed back to Devin’s office to talk over a few of the details.
“I’m glad the board voted our way,” he said, grinning at us. He turned to face Rian specifically. “Then again, how could they not with a pitch like that? I think half of them were ready to sign over their firstborns to you at the end of the pitch.”
Rian laughed. “I’m not sure I would go that far,” she protested.
“Well, I would,” Devin said confidently. He grinned and put his arm around Rian. “You’d better get used to trusting what I say. After all, we’re going to be working together pretty closely moving forward.”
I stared at the two of them. Rian was smiling at Devin, and she looked far from uncomfortable with the man’s overt affection. I was hit with a bout of jealousy so strong that it was like a body blow. I tried to push the feeling away. Devin was my friend, and putting his arm around Rian’s shoulders was nothing more than a friendly gesture. It was just the same as when I had put my hand on her shoulder during the pitch meeting. It didn’t mean anything more than that she had our support.
Still, the jealousy thing was a little worrisome. How attached was I already? Rian and I might have slept together, but at the end of the day, we were coworkers and there couldn’t be anything more. Not only that, but she had made it clear, time and time again, that she wasn’t looking for anything more. Because wasn’t that what it had meant, waking up alone in bed that morning? That she wasn’t interested in this being something more?
The truth was, I knew that that was for the best. We couldn’t have anything more, not as long as I was her boss. But knowing that didn’t make me want her any less. Knowing that didn’t make me want to see her with Devin or anyone else.
I needed to keep things professional between us, even if I knew that I could no longer be objective where she was concerned. That meant pushing my jealousy aside and focusing on the project. I forced myself to ignore Devin’s arm around her shoulders and tactfully turned the conversation back to all the things we needed to do before we left New York.
Chapter 14
Rian
I felt like I was buzzing with how well the presentation to the board had gone. It had taken everything I had to focus on the presentation and not on the way it felt to see Wes again after the night we’d had.
I knew I probably should have stuck around that morning and talked to him about where we went from here, but I also knew just how important this presentation was and what it could mean for everyone at the company. That meant that I had to forget about my personal drama and focus instead on the pitch.
Which meant that when I woke up early, while Wes was still sleeping, and felt my brain starting to whirl through all kinds of thoughts about what this might mean, well. I knew I had to get out of there. So I had slipped out before he woke up.
I wasn’t sure if that had been the right decision to make. I was scared that if I stuck around, though, something would be said that would distract me from the pitch. Either Wes and I would agree that we were going to continue seeing one another… or not. Either way would th
row me off my game. I was equally worried about the whole Ronny thing—either I told Wes about her or I didn’t. And again, either way, it was going to throw me off my game.
So I couldn’t think about it. Apparently not thinking about it had worked, because we had walked out of there with the assurance from the board that they would invest in the product line. Wes and I had chatted with Devin about the next steps, and I was excited for how things were going to go.
Except that then we had left Devin’s office, and now we were at lunch. Alone. Just me and Wes, and the weight of everything we had left unsaid. I wondered if I should be surprised at the fact that he hadn’t said anything about the previous night. After all, he had been the one who called things a mistake last time. Maybe this time, he had decided that we just wouldn’t talk about it.
I stared down at my menu, trying to think of something to say, and wondering if I had messed things up by sneaking out of there that morning. How did I explain to him that I just needed to focus on work for a moment, but I still wanted to talk things through? The only thing that came to mind was to tell him about Ronny, but if I led with that, I knew that things were sure to go badly for us.
I was surprised at how nervous I was to get things right with him. But then again, I knew he was a great man, that I loved spending time with him, that I had never felt this comfortable around any other man in my life. I didn’t want to mess things up.
Especially not since now I was thinking about how if I messed things up with him, things could be messed up for Ronny, too. He was her dad, and even though seven years ago I had made the decision not to tell Wes about her, I realized now that if I continued along that vein, she would never have a dad in her life.
And what a great dad Wes would be, if I only let him know that his daughter existed. I felt that down to the very depths of my soul.
S is for Secret Baby Page 7
