Him

by Carey Heywood

  He presses his forehead to mine, eyes locked, as people whoop around us. Bravo pushes a cup into Will's hand. His eyes flick up to him, and he nods and thanks him before placing a soft kiss on my lips. I lean my head against his chest as he drinks his beer. He's standing tall with his shoulders back, his free arm around my back. He feels warm and smells really good.

  I look up at him. “Has it been an hour yet?"

  He grins, pulling me towards the stairs.

  "Aw, come on, guys," Bravo calls out behind us. "You guys aren’t going upstairs already. The night is young."

  We ignore him, only focused on each other. Will locks the door behind him as I lay across the bed, laughing when he takes a running start and leaps onto me. Since our first night together, our times together have been rushed, stolen moments while our parents aren’t home. We take our time tonight, exploring each other since there is no reason to rush. Will knows my every expression, how to make me fall apart and put me back together again. I know him too, his body, his scent, the look that crosses his face, and the way he holds his breath right before he explodes. We eventually fall asleep coiled around each other.

  Sometime during the night, we both start at a loud knock on our door.

  Will reaches over to flip the light on. "What the—"

  "Will, man, open up." We hear Bravo through the door.

  Will pulls on his boxers and gets out of bed, and I pull the covers closer to me. He cracks the door. "What's up, man?"

  "Dude, I'm so sorry to bother you, but someone fucking hit your car."

  "Fuck," Will hisses. "Give me a minute to get dressed. I'll be right down."

  He closes the door in Bravo's face. I get out of bed and start to get dressed.

  "You don’t have to come down, babe," Will says as he pulls his pants on.

  "I know. I'm coming anyways."

  I grab my purse in case I need to call Brian for help or anything. Once we’re both dressed, we leave the room, Will locking the door behind us. I hold his hand as we make our way back downstairs. The party is still going strong, and we get a few knowing looks as we pass people, making it clear everyone knows what we were doing. We go outside and walk over to where Will's car is parked. Even in the dim light from the houses we can tell his car is not in the same position it was when he parked it. There is another car parked crookedly on the other side of the street. The back passenger side, behind the door, is dented.

  "I am so sorry, Will." Claire Warner approaches us as we get closer to his car.

  I can see now the other car is hers and has a similar dent, only on the driver side. Looks like she backed right into him. Will tells her it's fine, and they exchange insurance information. Will unlocks his car for me to sit in when I start getting eaten alive by bugs again. I'm sitting in the front passenger seat, messing with my phone when Jessica opens the driver's side and gets in.

  "What are you doing?" I jump, dropping my phone between the console and the seat.

  "Just felt like chatting. So Will popped your cherry, didn’t he?"

  I put my hand on the handle, ready to just get out.

  "He told you about Italy, right?"

  I pause, looking back at her. "What about Italy?"

  "I'm going with him. He didn't tell you?"

  "You're making it up."

  She pulls out her cell phone, holding it up so I can see a text message from Will.

  So happy you are coming to Italy with me. We never should have broken up. I'm breaking up with SM before we leave.

  I stop breathing. My head feels really heavy, and for a moment, I think I'm going to faint.

  "I don’t believe you. You faked that somehow."

  She passes me her phone. "You don’t think that's from Will? Why don't you press call?"

  It's still on the text. There’s no way. I hit the menu button and press call. I hold the phone to my ear. I turn. I can see Will through the window. Two rings. I see his phone isn’t ringing. I knew she was— wait, he’s reaching into his pocket. He looks at the caller ID. He fucking smiles.

  "Hello?"

  I hang up the phone and drop it on the console. I'm frozen until I see her phone light up. Incoming call. Will. I look up at her, and she's smiling at me. God, I feel so stupid. I grab my purse and jump out of the car. I hear Will call my name, but I'm running towards Bravo's house. I see a couple kids I know getting into a car.

  "Are you guys going home?"

  "Sarah Miller?" Christie asks.

  "Yes, are you going home?"

  "Ah, yeah. Are you okay?"

  "I have to get out of here. Can I get a ride?"

  Chapter 19

  Present

  I look up at him. "Remember how the bugs kept biting me so I sat in your car while you were exchanging insurance info with Claire?"

  He nods, chewing on the side of his bottom lip.

  I take a deep breath, lifting my hand to spin my ring. "Jessica got in the driver's side and told me about Italy, showed me a text you sent her."

  Will shakes his head. "She lied. I didn’t even know she was going until we got to the airport."

  I glare at him. "She showed me a text from your number that said how happy you were she was going. That you made a mistake breaking up with her."

  I go to push his hands from my knees, but he grips them tighter. "Sarah, I never sent her a text, and I sure as shit did not regret breaking up with her. I didn’t know her family was going to Italy until I saw them at the gate. I swear."

  "Her family? She never said her family was going, and I saw the text and then she had me call the number from the text, and you answered and when I hung up you called back."

  "Yes, her mom, dad, and little brother. I have no clue what to tell you about the text. I know I didn’t send it, and I don’t remember a call that night, but I was freaking out about what my parents were going to do when they saw my car. If someone, anyone called, I probably answered, and if they hung up, I probably called them back."

  We sit in silence, looking at each other. He seems so upset. I start to wonder if maybe Jessica somehow faked the text. Also, she had said nothing about her family going. That doesn’t seem as bad as just her going by herself with Will's family. Maybe if I had known that I never would have left the lake house that night.

  "Was there anything else?"

  I close my eyes, trying to block out the memory of what really made me run.

  "Please, tell me what happened."

  "I need a drink, maybe two."

  "If I go get you drinks, will you still be here when I get back?"

  I nod. I have lived with this for too long. I’m finally going to get it off my chest. He's back with my drinks, or rather shots, in no time, and I see he has a couple for himself. He hands me one, and we lock eyes before throwing them back. Rum. I put my hand out for the second shot once the first is down.

  "Where did you go that night?" he asks, taking the glass and setting it with the others on a table behind his chair.

  "Christie Howell and some other girl were leaving. I had my purse and got a ride home with them."

  Will looks angry. "I was losing my mind when I couldn’t find you. I thought maybe someone had taken you, or you had fallen into the lake or, I don’t know." I pale as he drops his head into his hands.

  "I didn’t think. I just had to get out of there."

  "Why didn’t you say something to me. I would have proved to you it wasn’t true, whatever she said."

  "I just never could believe you would want someone like me more than someone like her," I admit, looking down.

  After a few moments, when he hasn’t said anything, I look up at him. His head is in his hands. I reach out to touch his hand, and his hand grips mine. He lifts his head and meets my eyes, his expression tortured.

  "Will?" I ask.

  "I thought you knew how much I loved you." He shakes his head. "How could you not know?"

  I go to tug my hand from his, but his grip only tightens. "I didn't. I couldn'
t. You were the most popular guy in school. Every girl loved you. I still don’t—"

  "Stop." he holds up his hand. "Don’t even go there. I didn’t care about all of the stupid high school shit, and you knew that. You knew me. When I couldn’t find you, I've never been more scared in my whole life. I must have called your phone a hundred times before I figured out it was in my car. I finally called Brian, and he told me you came home crying. I almost drove over right then, but he told me to let you sleep and that we could talk in the morning. Bravo took my keys and wouldn’t let me drive anywhere until the next morning because I was so freaked out. And then when I got to your house you were gone."

  I never knew where my phone had ended up that night. I had my purse on me and had left everything else behind. I had held back tears the drive back and pretended to be asleep when Christie or her friend talked to me. Once I was home, I cried myself to sleep. I knew Brian heard me come in and that he heard me crying. I remember him standing on the other side of my bedroom door, asking me to let him in. He finally gave up and left me alone, and I cried myself to sleep.

  The ballroom door opens, filling the hallway with music. I look up to see my uncle Chip walking out of the ballroom and over to us "You kids okay?"

  I nod. Will just keeps looking down.

  He looks at Will. "Are you sure?"

  "We're just talking." I look back at Will. "It's okay."

  Chip heads back into the ballroom, the hall filling once again with music until the door shuts.

  I had turned my head to watched Chip leave. When I look back at Will, his eyes are on me, their expression weary.

  "Seven years, Sarah. Did we really lose seven years because of a text?"

  I hesitate and then shake my head.

  "Then why?"

  My insecurity over Will's feelings for me are the reason I left the lake house that night after Jessica talked to me, but that wasn't the whole reason I left.

  The hall fills with music again when someone walks into the hall, in search of a restroom most likely. I look at Will. "Can we talk outside?"

  He nods and stands, still holding my hand. We make our way to the front entrance, then follow a stone path along the left side of the building to a covered patio. There are ceiling fans slowly creating a slight breeze and black wrought iron tables and chairs. It's June. In Atlanta, the shade is welcome, but it’s still humid. Will releases my hand and shrugs off his jacket, resting it over the back of a chair before pulling another chair out for me to sit in.

  I'm nervous. I'm not sure I can actually tell him what happened. "I need to walk around if that's okay. You can sit. I just can't right this second."

  He lowers himself into his chair.

  I pace back and forth, nervously in front of him, jumping when he shouts, "Sarah, just tell me."

  I quickly nod, thinking back to that morning

  Chapter 20

  Past

  I wake up feeling like shit. My head is pounding from all of the crying I had done the night before. Plus, I cannot stop thinking about Jessica and that text. Part of me doesn’t want to believe, can’t believe it. Will had told me he loved me. I want to trust him. I want there to be some way to explain what was on her phone. I go to the bathroom to wash my face. Looking in the mirror is not helpful in that moment. I am a red splotchy mess. What guy would ever want to be with me when they could be with Jessica Burton?

  That and the fact that she’ll not only be going to Italy but college with him in the fall is killing me. I should probably end things with him. That would be the safest thing to do. Break up with him before he breaks up with me. God, what if the entire thing had been some sick joke. Where he makes me think he loves me, and then he gets back together with Jessica. I have no idea if any of this has actually happened. It just seems to be the most likely worst case scenario that keeps playing through my mind.

  There is a part of me that rebels against the idea, that remembers Will asked me to go away to school with him. Maybe he does care for me, even love me, and all I’m doing is overreacting to something he has no part of. Can’t I trust him? He had been my best friend for so long. I don’t really think he would ever do anything to hurt me.

  I spend the next half hour trying to figure out where my phone is so I can call him. It isn't in my purse, and I start to suspect I may have lost it somewhere at the party. One downfall of cell phones is not knowing anyone's number by heart. I cannot remember Will's number and finally find a student directory. It doesn’t have his cell phone number in it, but it does have his parents’ home number. I can at least leave a message with his mom or dad, hopefully his dad, for Will to call me once he gets home. I owe it to him, after everything that we have been through, to talk to him about what Jessica said. I'm really hopeful that his dad will answer. Ever since she caught us by the pool, I've been weirded out by his mom.

  I dial his number and cringe when his mother answers. "Price residence."

  Shit! "Um, hello, Mrs. Price. Is Will home?"

  "His name is William. Who is this?"

  Like they don’t have caller ID, I think to myself. "It's Sarah Miller."

  "Why didn’t you call his cell phone, Sarah?"

  This is not going well. "I can't find my phone and can’t remember his number. If you could give it to me or maybe just let him know I called?"

  "I'm sorry. I can't do that, Sarah."

  Um, what? "Pardon?"

  "I'm not going to give you William's number or tell him you called."

  "Why not?"

  "I know what you are after, Sarah, and I'm going to tell you right now you are not good enough for my son."

  "But—"

  "There is nothing you can offer him. He is going away to school, and it is time for this relationship of yours to end."

  "But I love him."

  "Sarah, I am sure you are a nice girl, but William deserves better. Someone who has been brought up the same way as him."

  "He doesn’t care about any of that." I'm frantic.

  "Maybe. But he does care a great deal of what his mother and father think. Which is why we have invited Jessica Burton to come with us to Italy."

  "Why?" I just don’t understand.

  "Sarah, let me make this clear. You are not the type of girl William needs in his life. If you continue this, whatever it is, with William, we won't pay for his college. Is that what you want?"

  "Please...no."

  The line is dead. She hung up on me. I stare at the phone in my hand. What just happened? Could they really refuse to pay for his school? That would kill him. And that stuff about Jessica. It’s true. She’s going with them to Italy. I set the house phone down on the kitchen table and slump into a chair. This is not happening. This cannot be happening. All I want to do is crawl back into my bed and never come out of it again, but I also feel this overwhelming need to get as far away from Decatur as I can. I cannot see Will. At worst, he’s dumping me for Jessica, and at best, we can’t be together anyway because his parents won’t pay for his school.

  Something across the room catches my eye. It's a picture on the refrigerator of my uncle Chip sitting on his motorcycle. I just figured out a place to go to. I quietly make my way upstairs to my room and pack everything I can into my backpack, and an old duffle bag. I really hope Brian will forgive me someday for what I'm about to do. I load my stuff into his piece of shit Ford Escort and grab the envelope from a birthday card my uncle sent me. I hope he meant it when he said I’m always welcome. I write my parents a note and leave it on my bed so they won’t worry, with a P.S. at the end to Brian to apologize for stealing his car.

  I leave Brian's car parked at the train station. I lock the keys in it, but my mom has a spare set so he should be fine. I'm pretty sure my uncle lives near Trenton, so I buy my ticket and wait for my train. The wait isn’t long, which is good because I have been staring at the front entrance for the past hour, expecting my parents to walk in. The one thing going for me is that they probably don’t even know I
came home last night and won't be missing me for another couple of hours. By that time, I will be well on my way to New Jersey. The train is half full, but more passengers board than depart every stop we make. I purposely pick a seat near the bathroom so I won’t have to worry too much about my duffle.

  The seat next to me is empty, thankfully. An older woman across the aisle tries to small talk with me, but I pretend to sleep so she'll leave me alone. I'm feeling strangely like none of this is real, like I haven’t just run away from home. Like last night never happened, and I’m going to wake up at home in my own bed and things with Will will be the same. Somewhere in Virginia, I get up and visit the dining cart, unable to avoid my grumbling stomach any longer. I get a sandwich, some chips, and a juice. Back at my seat, I struggle to get it all down. I was so hungry before, but now that I have food right in front of me, I can't seem to eat it. Everything makes me think of Will. If he was here, he would be hogging all my chips and trying to steal my pickle.

  The only reason I manage to finish my lunch is because concentrating on eating is somehow keeping me from crying. The train is fuller now, and I know in the next stop or so I may lose the empty seat beside me. I relax after the stop in D.C. when enough passengers get off that I think I might make it the whole way without having to sit next to someone. Instead, in Baltimore, I meet Sawyer, which seems like a strange name for a girl, but it suits her. She's my age, or maybe a year older by my guess, and also heading to Trenton. I haven’t told her that's where I'm going because I haven’t been able to get a word in edgewise other than my name.