Truth or Lies?

by A. Gomez

  “Ben!” I shouted.

  He jumped out of his chair, dropping his phone, reaching for his gun.

  “Put that thing away. You can’t wave that in here all willy-nilly like that, acting like you’re John Wayne,” I chided.

  “What the fuck, Isabel!” he snapped. “You can’t yell like that, given our current situation.”

  “I’m sorry for startling you the way I did but it just hit me like a bulldozer,” I said excitedly. “Hong is not his name. The man Alex is referring to is a Hongman…from the secret society of the Hong.” I frantically looked for the email I sent Pam explaining the Chinese Triads. I printed it out and ran to the printer to get it.

  Ben was picking up his phone, watching me stride back to him. I handed him the paper.

  “I’m sure you know who the Chinese Triads are by now and how they operate… how it’s like the Mafia and they each have their own area or region they’re in charge of,” I briefly explained. “Well, the Hongmen are the good guys, if you will, to that group. The secret society of the Hong is or was kind of a resistance movement from the 18th century—they were fighting the Qing Dynasty at the time.” I continued, “Well, of course that dynasty is gone now, so today what’s left is fighting the Triads. Alex said the man had a thick accent and they couldn’t really understand everything he was telling them. I’m almost certain he identified himself as a Hongman member and the girls just heard Hong.”

  Ben was reading the paper I gave him, his expression impassive, nodding to everything I was saying. Jeez! Did he always have to be so serious? I stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to give me some kind of answer.

  “Isabel, I think you’re in the wrong profession,” he said matter-of-factly. “You should be working for us. Let me go talk to Conny about this, I think you may be on to something. Please, don’t go anywhere without me.”

  “Whew, for a minute there I thought you were going to say I was crazy. I just can’t tell with you sometimes,” I said. “We have to work on your bedside manner.”

  He chuckled as he strode to Pam’s office. I did as I was told and stayed put. I needed to finish my paperwork anyway. I began to feel sleepy and sluggish from getting up so early. But it was oh, so, unquestionably, marvelously worth it, I told myself grinning. I closed my eyes, picturing Josh’s face—my own personal Adonis—his eyes burning into mine, hearing him say that he’d never let me go, wishing we could be together tonight.

  I couldn’t stop yawning or rubbing my eyes. I’d really like to get coffee but no one around there bothered to order any that wasn’t decaf. My only other options were to go downstairs and buy some from the cafeteria and risk the chance of running into David, or ask Ben if we could leave the building and walk one block down to the little coffee shop that was on the corner. The words were beginning to get blurry on the page and the computer screen. I stopped what I was doing and laid my head down on my desk. I told myself just five minutes.

  I heard someone saying “hey” and felt someone rubbing my back. It felt so nice I didn’t want them to stop. I heard “baby” this time and it was a soft, deep voice. The voice was in my ear, softly calling my name. I felt someone’s warm lips kissing me on my temple, leaving goose bumps in their wake. I slowly began to lift my head up and look around, confused as to where I was and wondered was the voice a dream? A man was crouching at my side, smiling, stroking my cheek. I blinked several times, trying to focus and finally saw that it was Josh—his smile reaching his eyes. I looked around one more time and saw that I was still in my office. Reality started to set in. I must have dozed off and not realized it. I smiled sleepily at him; he kissed me tenderly on the lips.

  “Baby,” he whispered, “I didn’t want to wake you but I couldn’t leave without you knowing I was here to say goodbye.”

  “Where’s Ben?” My voice was groggy.

  “I asked him to keep Conny busy while I’m here. I don’t have much time.”

  I shook my head, trying to shake off my stupor so I could see his beautiful face better. “Did you change your mind? Can I come home with you?”

  He chuckled. “No, baby, not yet at least, but I do have something for you. I just spoke with your mother, asking her to bring it up here for me. She said she’d be here soon.” I so loved his sultry bedroom voice. I could feel my heart starting to beat faster. I blinked a few more times, trying to regain my focus.

  “You look so angelic when you’re asleep and even now that you’re trying to wake up, you are so irresistible.” He was stroking my cheek with his finger. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

  “Josh,” my voice hoarse, “will you please tell my mother to bring me a very large caffeinated latté? I can’t seem to wake up enough to see the numbers on the phone.”

  “Of course, baby,” he replied with his enigmatic grin. He stood up, grunting and holding his side. He must have still been in a lot of pain.

  “Josh, who’s here with you? You look better but clearly you’re still in pain.” I scanned the room again, searching for another agent.

  “There, sent your mom a text. Don’t worry about me, another agent is waiting outside the door to take me home and I’ll manage just fine at home,” he said.

  I stood up to kiss him but was so sleepy, I wobbled. He caught me with one arm and steadied me, wincing from the pain on his side. I laid my head on his chest, remembering the awful feeling from when I almost overdosed. This wasn’t quite that bad but I thought my body was starting to tell me it was time to decompress. Too much stress and lack of sleep was taking its toll. He wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head.

  “Just let me get to the couch,” I told him. “I’m okay.”

  “Isabel, baby, you’re starting to scare me.” He took me to the loveseat and gingerly helped me sit.

  “I’m fine, really.” I turned to look at him, placing the palm of my hand on his prickly stubble. “I just haven’t been getting enough sleep and I’ve been a little stressed, that’s all.”

  He was sitting somewhat sideways so he could look at me. His left arm was behind me, resting on the back of the couch while his right hand was moving my hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. My vision was getting better and I could see my Adonis more clearly. He smiled as he saw that I was snapping out of my haze.

  “Hey, welcome back,” he whispered playfully.

  I leaned in to kiss his full lips, lightly brushing my tongue against them first. He inhaled, surprised by my wet tongue. His lips then parted, inviting me in.

  “Have you come to tell me you’re taking me home with you?” I asked in between kisses.

  He moved his kisses to just under my earlobe; I could feel his grin on the side of my neck. “You just asked me that. You must still be out of it,” he replied. “You just don’t know how badly I want to say yes, baby, but the answer is still no.” He pulled away to assess me, concern etched on his face. “I think I should call your mother. You still don’t look like yourself.”

  “Josh, if I don’t look up to par, it is only because the stress of being away from you was getting to me. Also, for some odd reason, I seem to relax a little better when I can feel your warmth around me. It’s almost lulling me back to sleep.” I kissed his rough chin, forcing myself to wake up. “I can prove it to you if you like. Go sit away from me.”

  He eyed me speculatively, not wanting to move away from me. He decided to stay next to me and kissed my hand. I sighed heavily and leaned my head back on his arm, staring unseeingly at the ceiling.

  “What it is, baby?” He was stroking my hair.

  “Josh, I don’t want to go to Dallas… I don’t want to deal with David… I want to go home with you. I’m worried about you. Why doesn’t your mother come to help you?”

  “I didn’t call her,” he answered dryly. “She doesn’t know I got shot.”

  Surprised at his answer, my voice was a pitch higher. “Josh! Why not?”

  His lips pressed into a hard line, looking down and
away from me, as if he was ashamed to answer me. “Because I didn’t want to live if I thought you weren’t coming back to me.”

  I stared at him in shock, all the blood draining from my face, my chest tightening with pain from his admission. I started to feel sick. The thought of Josh dying had never crossed my mind. A world without Joshua Rockwall, a world without my own personal Adonis, was unfathomable and dark. How dare he think that way! How dare he behave that way! What the hell was he thinking?! He talks about keeping me safe…fucking hypocrite! What about him? So, it was fine if whatever happens to him but I have to be safe? I slowly stood up, grabbed my hair by the roots and pulled it. I paced the floor wanting to scream at him. He did say my mother brought him back from despair. Was this what he meant? Did my mother know? The thought of life without Josh was unbearable. I was both angry and devastated by his words.

  His eyes were wide and his eyebrows raised, appraising me. “Isabel? Baby?”

  I couldn’t stop pacing, my hands on my hips. Was his love for me so out of whack that those morbid thoughts crept their way into his mind? I couldn’t live without him either but I was not about to end my life. Perhaps it was the pain medication causing him to think that way. Yes, I wanted to believe that was it. I stopped in front of him, hands on my hips, giving him a withering stare.

  “Oh, shit,” he muttered.

  “Joshua Rockwall,” I begin acidly, in a low voice. “If you ever do or think anything stupid like that again, I promise you I will never speak to you again. And you can forget about my mother being your therapist, I’ll make sure of it!” I hissed. “And if you were to die because you just ‘can’t live without me’ then I would refuse to go to your funeral and behave as if we never met. Do you understand me? That’s the most selfish thing you could do to me and your family.”

  He cleared his throat, then spoke. “Well, you look wide awake now.”

  “Is that all you can say to me?” I yelled, glowering at him

  “No! Baby, of course not. Please, don’t talk like that. I’m sorry, it was a stupid thought and I’ll never act on it, I promise.” He got up, took my hands and kissed them both. “You’re right, it was selfish of me to even think that, but it’s the truth. I can’t live without you. I would move heaven and earth to be with you, to take care of you. Just promise me you’ll never leave me and I promise to never think or behave that way again.” His eyes were pleading.

  I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. How dare he do that to himself or me! I had half a mind to refuse to go to Dallas, give him a taste of his own medicine. How would that feel, Rockwall? All of a sudden, I felt his lips on mine, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth. I gave in all too easily and greedily took his tongue. He pulled me in closer as I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling his muscular body against mine.

  “Baby,” he whispered against my lips. “Promise me. Promise you will never leave me.”

  “I promise,” I breathed.

  I could feel his smile on my lips. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him with more fervor. He let out a soft groan, making my pulse race. I loved his sounds, his deep throaty sounds. There was a knock on the door, jolting us back to the present. I pulled away, grateful to take a breath. I hurried to the mirror, trying to compose myself as he opened the door. It was the other agent telling him to hurry. He nodded. I watched him walk back to me and saw that he was still struggling with the smallest of movements. I didn’t want to leave him like that. I should be with him, taking care of him.

  “Josh, seeing you struggle the way you are... well, I just can’t leave you. You need help. You need someone to take care of you. I want to be the one to do that for you,” I pleaded.

  “Baby, having you safe is more important to me than having help right now. I can deal with the pain and I recover quickly… really, I do,” he reassured me. “We can talk through video chat whenever you’re alone. Just make sure you have ear buds in.”

  I pouted. “All right, but tell me your middle name.”

  He cocked his head to one side, surprised by my request. “That’s random. It’s Eric, why?”

  “Well, when I was fuming at you and called you by your full name I realized I didn’t know your middle name. So, next time we have a disagreement I will have your entire name and I’ll be able to castigate you properly.” I winked at him, grinning. “Oh, and promise me one more thing.”

  “Anything, baby,” he answered with his boyish grin.

  “Call your mother.”

  He let his head drop, then peeked up at me through his eyelashes. “I’ll call her tonight before I call you. That way I can give you a full report.”

  “That works for me,” I chimed with a smile. I helped him to the door and opened it for him.

  He looked in Ben’s direction, nodding at him as if letting him know the coast was clear. I watched them leave out the back way, hoping and praying we would see each other soon. This is only temporary, this is only temporary, I kept repeating in my head. And time flies, I added.

  23

  I glanced in Ben’s direction and it looked like he was still busy in Pam’s office with Conny. I returned to my desk, already missing my beautiful Adonis. Some of the grogginess was starting to dissipate but I still needed and wanted that latté. I hoped my mother and Belín would get here soon.

  I finally finished with all my paperwork and started setting up an automatic email reply for whoever sent me an email, letting them know I would be out next week. And just as luck would have it, in strode my mother with six very large lattés, Belín carrying four of them. A strange man was following closely behind, his eyes scanning the floor. I was assuming he was the agent Ben called to babysit Belín until he could be with her without worrying about me. My eyes lit up and I was delighted to see everyone. I needed a break and some caffeine.

  “Mom,” I chimed excitedly, “Thank goodness you’re here! I need my latté.”

  “Yes, that is what Joshua texted but he added that I had to make sure it had plenty of caffeine? Such a curious text,” she added. “Something about how he found you asleep at your desk and was concerned?’

  I laughed. “Yes, it’s all accurate. I don’t remember falling asleep but I did and he woke me up. I guess he started to get worried when I was having trouble waking from my stupor.” I reached for one of the cups.

  “Hold on, honey. I bought you a special latté.” She placed the drink carrier with the coffees on my desk and picked up the one that had my name on it. “Now, if it’s too strong and you can’t get to sleep tonight you can thank him.”

  I took a sip and was instantly grateful for my mother who totally got me. She bought me a skinny hazelnut latté, my favorite. “Mom, who are the other coffees for?”

  “I got one for Ben, of course, he probably needs a pick-me-up, as well, and I bought one for Vanessa, your receptionist. She’s such a sweet girl. And one extra for whoever wants it. These two are for me and Belín.” She grabbed two and took one over to the couch where Belín had made herself at home, typing on her laptop. My mother picked up one more latté and headed to the receptionist’s desk.

  I sat next to Belín and started reading what she was typing. Crap! It was all in Spanish and I was so slow reading in Spanish it was ridiculous. I really had to start buying all my books in Spanish so I could practice my reading. I managed to read the first two paragraphs before she started complaining.

  “Isa, don’t, please. I don’t want anyone to read this until I know I’m happy with the article,” she said. “Besides, I have to send this rough draft to my boss in Madrid because he’s been asking for something since I left Kosovo. I hope I don’t disappoint.”

  “From what I managed to read, I promise you, he won’t be disappointed.”

  “Really? You think so? I hope you are correct, Isabel.” She shook her head in disbelief. “My boss is ultra-picky and critical.”

  I leaned back and looked out into the hallway at the receptionist area. My mother was monopoli
zing Vanessa’s time and being very animated with her but it seemed as though Vanessa was happy to talk. My gaze then turned in the direction of Pam’s office… no sign of Pam or Conny, just Ben. He strode back to us looking stone-faced as always. I could never tell if he was pensive or if he just received some disturbing news. Honestly, it was always just business with him. Jeez! Would a little smile kill him?

  Ben walked in, only glancing at Belín and headed directly to the new agent. No doubt to discuss secret FBI business that he never wanted to share, regardless if we were working on the same case. Honestly, I just didn’t understand why Ben couldn’t share just a little information with me. I was, after all, mixed up in all the mess. I started to wake up more and feel a little bit more like myself. Belín closed her laptop and leaned back against the loveseat, sipping her coffee.

  Her purse caught my eye. “I love your purse. I don’t remember seeing that one this morning. Did you and my mother go shopping?”

  “No, actually, it’s yours.” She smiled, looking sheepish.

  “Well, no wonder I like it. I guess I forgot I had it.”

  “I saw it in your closet and fell in love with it. I was going to text you and ask if I could borrow it but the new agent that’s with us would not leave me alone for one second. It made me very nervous and I got a little flustered. So, then I forgot about even calling you and look at me, here I am again forgetting.” She added, “I hope you don’t mind? I really love it.”

  “Take it. It’s yours,” I said in a cheery voice. “Call it an early birthday present. Besides, it must not mean that much to me if I forgot I even had it.”