And looking and living in this pitiful case, and making semblance that I knew of nothing, I remained the most pensive and the most sorrowful woman that might be. My doubtful thoughts did draw on and waste most part of the day, uncertain whether I might resolve myself to mirth or moan. But seeing the nights fitting best my unpleasant humours, and finding myself alone in my Chamber, after having first lamented my woes, and talked many things with myself, stirred up and inspired as it were with better counsel, I turned my devout prayers to Venus, saying:
“O singular beauty of the Heavens, O most pitiful Goddess, and most holy Venus, who in likeness of thyself, in the beginning of my anxieties, didst appear unto me in this Chamber, afford me now some comfort for my great griefs, and by that reverend and internal love that thou didst bear fair Adonis mitigate my extreme pains. Behold what tribulations I suffer for thee. Behold how many times the terrible Image of death hath been presented before mine eyes. Behold if my pure faith hath deserved so much pain as I wrongfully sustain. Being but young, and not knowing thy darts, I suffered myself at thy first pleasures and without denial to become thy subject. Thou knowest how much good thou didst promise me: and I cannot truly deny, but that I have enjoyed some part thereof, but if thou wilt comprehend these sorrows, which thou diddest give me, as part also of that good, then let Heaven and earth perish in one hour, and let all laws like unto these be annihilated, and made new again with the world. But if they seem unequal in thy sight (as I hope they do) then let (O gracious Goddess) thy promise be fulfilled, because thy holy mouth may not be thought or said to have learned to dissemble (as mortal men’s do). Send forth thy Son with his golden arrows, and with thy firebrands, to my Panphilus, where he doth now remain so far distant from me, and inflame his heart in such sort (if peradventure, for not seeing me so long time, it is waxen too cold in my love, or too hot with the present beauty of another) that, burning as I do, none occasion whatsoever may withhold him from coming back again. Because taking again some comfort and ease under the heavy burden of these calamities, I may not so quickly die.
“O most fair Goddess, let my words sound into thy ears, and if thou wilt not set him on fire, pull out of my poor heart thy wounding Darts, because I may (as well as he) spend my days without such great grief.” With this form of prayers (although I saw their effects but vain, yet thinking that they were heard) I did with small hope somewhat lighten my torments, and beginning new thoughts I said: “O Panphilus, where art thou now? Alas, what doest thou? Hath now the silent night surprised thee without sleep and with so many tears as it hath taken hold of me? Or doth thy young spouse perhaps (not heard of me at all) hold thee in her arms, or yet, without any remembrance of me, dost thou sweetly sleep? Alas, how may it be that Love can govern two Lovers with so unequal Laws, both loving so firmly, as I am too assured that I do, and as perhaps thou dost, I know not? But if it be so, that these thoughts do occupy thy mind, as they do overcome mine, what wicked prisons or merciless chains do hold thee, that in breaking of them dost thou not return to me? I know not (certes) what might stay me from going to thee, unless my beauty (which would without all doubt be an occasion of my utter shame, and a great impediment to me in all places) did not only keep me back. What business soever, and what other occasions of stay thou diddest find, should be by this ended, and now thy Father should have glutted himself with thy daily company, who is I know (and for whose death, the Gods know, I do continually pray) the only occasion of thy stay there. And if not of this, at the least of robbing thee from me, he was undoubtedly the only cause and means. But I fear me, poor soul, that going about to pray for his death thou dost prolong his life, so contrary are the Gods to thy requests, and so incroyable in everything I crave of them. Ah, let thy love (if it be such as it was once wont to be) conquer their opposite force, and come again. Dost not thou think that I lie sadly all alone a great part of the tedious nights in the which thou diddest once bear me faithful company, though accompanied (I must needs confess) with millions of martyring thoughts. Alas, how many long Winter nights lying acold without thee, in a great and solitary bed, have I passed heavily away. Ah, call to thy forgetful mind the sundry kinds of these pleasures, which in many things we were wont to take together, remembering which, I am then certain, that there is no other Woman able to divide thee from me. And this belief doth make me (as it were) more surer than any other thing that the news of the new spouse are but false, which if they were true, yet she cannot (I think) take thee from me, but for a time. Return therefore, and if sweet delights have no force to draw thee back again, let the desire which thou hast to deliver her (whom above all other Women thou lovest, from sudden and shameful death) persuade thee to be reclaimed. Alas, if thou wert now returned, I hardly believe that thou couldest know me again, for so hath exceeding sorrow and anguish of mind extenuated, and altered my former and fair countenance. But that which infinite tears hath taken from me a short gladness (in seeing thy sweet face) shall quickly restore to me again, and I shall be once again that Fiammetta which I was before. Ah, come, Panphilus, come, because my heart doth still call upon thee, suffer not the flower of my young days to perish in dole, altogether prest for thy delights, and vowed to thy pleasures. I know not, alas, with what modesty I could bridle my sudden and exceeding joy if thou wert here again, but that unmoderately it should be manifest to every public person. Because I doubt (and justly) that our love, with great wisdom and patience a long time concealed, might not be perhaps discovered to everyone. But yet wert thou come to see, and to try, whether ingenious lies could as well take place in prosperous events, as in adverse and crooked accidents. Alas, I would thou wert for all this come, and if it could not be better, then let everyone that would, know it, because I would think quickly to find out a plaster for every wound.”
This being said, I suddenly rose up and ran to the window as if he had understood my words, but I perceived myself (alas) deceived in my foolish imagination, in thinking that I heard that which I did not, and that he knocked at the door, as he was sometimes wont to do. Oh, how many times, if any of my other careful Lovers had known this, might I have been dishonourably dealt withal, if any malicious and crafty person had feigned himself to be Panphilus in such a case. But after that I had opened the window, and looked towards the Gate, mine eyes made me more assured of this manifest illusion, and so was my vain joy tossed with a true and sudden turbation of mind, not unlike to the tempestious waves (after that the strong Mast, broken in pieces by blasts of mighty winds, with crumpled sails, by main force of them is thrown into the Sea) without resistance do cover and hide the endangered ship. And returning after my old wont to my accustomed tears, I did miserably begin to lament and bewail. And forcing myself afterwards to give some rest to my tormented mind, drawing up the vapours of sweet sleep into my closed eyes, in this manner with myself I did call upon them again: “O quiet sleep, the most pleasant rest of all mortal things, and vain peace of men’s ‘minds, which dost shun all care like an enemy, come to me, and with thy operations drive out of my burning breast these smothered thoughts, these heavy cares, and these ruthful and restless fancies. O thou that dost restore wearied bodies, and hardened in cruel and breathless pains, to ease again, and dost make them fit and fresh to endure new labours, why dost thou not come? Thou givest repose to others, give also some little rest to me, whose need is more than any other’s else. Forsake the eyes of merry and pleasant young Gentlewomen, who holding now their Lovers in their arms, and passing the time joyfully in the exercise of the Goddess of Cyprus’ games, do utterly refuse and hate thee. And enter into mine, who lieth here alone, forsaken, and choked with Seas of sorrowful tears, and consumed with scalding sighs. O thou the tamer of fierce and wicked creatures, and the better part of man his life, let me take some comfort by thee, and reserve thy absence until that time when Panphilus with his pleasant discourses shall delight my weaned ears, which shall be never wearied in hearing him, and my desirous eyes, with his brave beauty in looking on him. O feeble brother of d
ark death, which dost equally intermeddle false things with true, enter into my sorrowful eyes. Thou didst once overspread Argus his hundred eyes, commanded by jealous Juno to watch, and unwilling to sleep. Alas, come now into mine, which are but two, and which do with great desire attend thy grateful entrance. O Haven of life, rest of light and companion of night, which doth come [to] all alike, as gracious to high Kings as to base and poor slaves, enter into my sorrowful breast, and making a pleasant sojourn there, recreate a little my daunted spirits. O most sweet sleep, which dost compel human generation (fearful of death) with more patience to learn her long and lingering coming, possess me with the effects of thy force, and drive from me these infectious hurts, in the which my unquiet mind troubleth itself without any profit at all.” Morpheus, more pitiful unto me than any other God to whom I offered up my prayers (admit that he made delay in granting me that favour which I besought him by my importunate orisons), after a long space (constrained more by the force of my pitiful prayers and unpitied disquiet than of his proper accord) came slowly and silently stealing into my eyes, and so (myself not perceiving him at all) crept in by the windows, as yet half open, into my giddy head, which did greatly need his presence and help: and being most willingly entertained there, did wholly turn himself up and down, possessing every place of it. But sweet and desired peace, although that sleep was come, did not yet enter into my unsettled mind, but in lieu of thoughts and tears, a thousand fearful visions (full of infinite terrors) did make me greatly afraid, believing, verily, that no hellish fury remained in Pluto his Cities, but that every one in most horrible forms and ugly shapes (methought) did appear many times unto me, threatening me of divers ensuing stratagems, and oftentimes with their ghastly looks breaking me out of my momentary sleep, which afterwards (as though I had not seen them at all) I was content and glad within myself, that they were but fantastical and foolish shadows.
And in brief, there were but a few of these nights after the unfortunate tidings of this new bridegroom and his bride, in the which I took any pleasure or ease in my forced sleep, and never representing to my wandering fantasies my Panphilus with such joy as they were wont to do many times before. Which thing did no less beyond all measure grieve me, than the contrary without mean to molest me. Of all these cares at last, of all my streaming tears, ceaseless sobs and sighs, and of all my multiplied griefs, but not of the occasion of them, my dear husband had no small inkling, and knowledge, especially when he perceived that the lively colour of my face was changed into a dead paleness, and that my pleasant and shining eyes (depainted round about with two blue and purple circles) were deeply sunk into my forehead. Seeing which things (I say) caused him many times to marvel, how all these alterations should happen.
But perceiving, at length, that I had lost my appetite to meat, and that my wonted sleep had forsaken me, he sometimes asked me what was the cause thereof. Whom I answered, that the weakness of my stomach was in fault, which had so extenuated and appalled my face with that deformed leanness, myself not knowing no other cause why it was thus gone from me but only that. Alas, how simply did he believe (giving entire faith to my deceitful words) this feigned excuse and false tale, and caused infinite medicines to be made and ministered to me, all which (to content him) I did willingly take, not that I did think to get any profit or ease at all by them. For what lightening of the body can ease or assuage the infesting passions of the infected soul? None I believe. But my mind being purged of them, they might (perhaps) alleviate and help my body much. The medicine available for my malady was but one, which was very precious, dear, and too far off, to make me receive my pristiniate health. But after my deceived husband perceived that all these drugs did help me but a little, or nothing at all, he being more tender and careful of me (than I deserved) by sundry ways and new means endeavoured to purge me of this melancholic humour, and to restore to me my lost and former mirth, but yet he laboured all in vain.
Sometimes with comfortable words he did assay to cheer me up, saying: “There are, sweet Lady, and my dearly beloved wife (as thou knowest well enough) a little beyond the pleasant hill of Falernus, in the midst of old Cuma, delectable Islands upon the Sea coasts, the situation of which is so sweet, pleasant and delightsome that the like (I think) is not under the cope of wide heaven. They are environed with most fair hills, full of all sorts of fruit, and covered all over with green vines, loaden with goodly bunches of white, red and purple Grapes, in the valleys of which there are no kind of wild beasts that may with pleasure be hunted but are to be found there.
“Nor far distant from thence, there is a great plain full of game, and fit for all manner of flights of preying and sollacing Hawks. There is the Island Pitycusa, and Nisida, abounding in Conies, and the Sepulchre of great Mesenus, leading away to the dark kingdoms of Pluto.
“There are Sybilla of Cuma her Oracles, there is the Lake Avernus, and the great Theatre (a common and ancient place for many brave pastimes and rare spectacles). There are sweet and clear Fishponds, the Hill Barbarus, and the vain and prodigal labours of the wicked Emperor Nero.
“All which delights, both old and modern, cannot but greatly recreate men’s minds, that never saw them before, who for their pleasure and solace go many times to visit them.
“And besides all this, there are most healthful and wholesome Baths for men and women of all degrees, and most sweet and goodly ones for Ladies of honour and renown. And the air being very temperate and pleasant there, doth continually afford fit times and good occasions and means to visit them. There is no going thither without a merry mind, nor abiding there without great feasts, jollity and pastime, in such brave companies of noble men, Ladies, Gentlewomen, and fine and stately dames of this City.
“Wherefore I am determined that thyself (not well, as thou sayest, in thy stomach, and troubled worse I fear in mind, and, as far as I can guess, grieved with deep and melancholy passions), for recovery of each sanity again, shall go thither with me: which journey shall not be without great pleasure, assured profit, and speedy help unto thy distempered body and sorrowful mind.” But when I heard his words, doubting lest in the very midst of our sports, and abroad there, my dear Panphilus might return, and so I might not (perhaps) see him, inflicted with inward grief, I stayed a good while pausing, before I could answer him again.
But after seeing his resolute pleasure, imagining also that if he came he would seek me out wheresoever I was, I answered him I was ready, at his pleasure, to go whither and when he would. And to be short, not many days after we went thither.
On what contrary medicines did my loving husband excogitate and practise for my helpless griefs. Admit that corporal languors were cured there, yet very seldom or never did any go thither with a whole and sound mind that did return with the same again, whether it was the mere Situation of the place washed with the waves of the Sea (the natural place of Venus’ nativity), or the time in which it is more used (in springtide I mean) as more fit for those things that made it. Neither is that (truly) to be marvelled at, which oftentimes appeared to me there: that the most honest Gentlewomen, and of best account, disposing for awhile their womanly modesty and shamefastness, did use in all their merry meetings and sports an unwonted kind of unbridled liberty and irrequisite familiarity, and did more lasciviously assemble together in those places (privileged perhaps for such wanton pastimes) than anywhere else.
And I was not only of this opinion, that with less stain to their honours, in those places, in that company, and at those times, they might do it, but all those almost which were accustomed to resort to those Islands, then as full of mirth, glee and feasts as Cypres or Cytherea were, at what time their Ladies’ holidays and divers honours were celebrated there. The greatest part of the time there was spent in ease, and passed away some time more in delightful exercises, and not a few times in amorous discourses of Gentlewomen amongst themselves, or else in company of young gentlemen and Gentlewomen together.
There were no viands but most delicious, and which wer
e most dainty to be got, and most noble, precious, old and the purest wines, of force not only to awake drowsy Venus, but to raise up to life that vigour which is already mortified in any man or woman, do follow there. And how much also the virtue of the baths doth confer to the same, they do better know who have sometimes proved them. There the cool Sea banks and most pleasant gardens, and every other place besides, with divers feasts, with new devised sports, with most fine and curious dancings, with all kinds of musical instruments and celestial melody, and with amorous songs and Madrigals, made, played and sung by those lusty youths and sweet Nymphs, did resound forth marvellous and pleasant Echoes. Who is he therefore that can, amongst so many enticing pleasures there, keep himself free from Cupid his darts, who doth without any pain or labour (if I am not deceived) rule there, as in the most principal place of all his kingdoms, and helped by so many friendly allectives doth with great ease, against such willing and capable subjects, use his strength and divine forces.
Into such places (most pitiful Ladies) my husband was wont to carry me to rid me of my amorous burning fever. Into which after that we were arrived, love used no other means towards me than he did towards other, but my soul rather (which could not be wrapped in more strait bonds of love than it was) somewhat (though little enough) cooler, and by the long staying, that Panphilus being from me had made, and by many tears (and sustained griefs) was kindled into so great flames, that I thought I had never felt the like before. And this did not only arise of the foresaid occasions, but remembering with myself that I was oftentimes there in Panphilus his company, both love and grief (seeing myself without him) did not a little increase in my wounded heart. I saw not any Hill, or Valley, that I (accompanied sometimes of many, and of him, sometimes pitching their toils for wild and savage beasts, sometimes leading hounds, and learning water Spaniels, and laying gins to entrap and snare the silly Fowls of the Air, sometimes baiting hooks with Angle cord, to choke the pretty and foolish Fishes in clear rivers and brooks, and sometimes getting some, and other sometimes missing of their purpose) knew not and perceived, that these were evident testimonies of our mutual pastaunce and glee. Moreover, I did not see any rock, shore or Island there but I said: “Here was I with my Panphilus, this did he speak unto me here, and this did we here.” Likewise there could be nothing else seen there which was not first an especial occasion to me with great efficacy to remember him, and with more fervent desire afterwards to see him either here, or else returned in any other place again. As it pleased therefore my dear husband, so there we began to take our delights: sometimes rising up betimes, and so soon as clear day appeared, and mounted upon our swift coursers, and gentle Palfreys, sometimes with hounds, sometimes with hawks, and with both sometimes, running up and down into the nearest places, and most abundant for vollery and venery, now through the shadowed Woods, and now in the open fields, we went earnestly pursuing our game. And seeing many goodly chases, and brave courses there, rejoicing everyone’s heart to see them, did but a little or nothing diminishing my sorrowful thoughts, for when I saw any fair sight, or course, therewithal I presently said:
Collected Works of Giovanni Boccaccio Page 371
