“O miserable Fiammetta, and of all Women that live in this world the most miserable, behold thy Glass is now run, thy latest day, hour and last period is come. And after that from the highest place of thy Palace thou shalt have thrown thyself headlong down, and that thy soul shall have forsaken thy bruised body, then let thy tears be dried up, let thy sighs then surcease, and thy sorrows and desires be determined, and then in one hour, with the dear price of thy spilled blood, and with the ransom of thy pale death, thou shalt redeem thyself from the bonds and captivity of love. And then shalt thou cancel the verbal Obligation of Panphilus his promised and unperformed faith. This day thou shalt have the deserved embracings of him. This day the Military Ensigns of love shall cover thy body with a dishonest and unseemly torture. This day thy wearied spirits shall see him. This day thou shalt know for whom thou hast forsaken thyself. This day of force thou shalt make him pitiful. This day thou shalt begin the vengeance of the young and wicked Sorceress, and thy malicious co-partner.
“But, O ye Gods, if any pity doth harbour in your divine breasts, be favourable to me in these my last prayers. Suffer not my death and the memory of my life to pass amongst the rude populare with blot of dishonour and stain of infamy. And if, in taking the same, there be any fault committed, behold there is a present satisfaction, since that I die with fear to publish the occasion thereof: the revealing of which should be, certes, no small comfort unto me, if I believed that in talking of it it might escape without ignominious blame. Make my dear Husband also (ye sacred Gods) suffer it with patience, whose true love, if I had duly observed and had rightly performed Juno’s holy laws, I might have yet lived a happy and merry Woman, without troubling your divine Godheads with these earnest prayers. But, like an ignorant Woman of my thrice happy estate, and (as others of my condition are wont to do) following ever the worst, and forsaking the best, am now worthily appaid with this unfortunate and due recompense. O fatal Atropos, by thy infallible blow to all the world, I humbly pray thee, that thou wouldest with thy power guide my falling body, and dissolve my soul not with too great pain from the thread of thy Sister Lachesis. And thee, O Minos, receiver of it, by that love that sometimes burned thee, and by this blood which now I offer unto thee, even by the same, and by what else may move thee (infernal Judge), I obtest thee favourably to conduct it to the places appointed by thy just judgment — for it, and that so cruel and sharp torments be not prepared for it as to deem and repute the infinite pains that it hath already passed but light in respect of them to come.”
After I had spoken these words to myself, incensed Tesiphon appeared before mine eyes, and with a senseless murmur, and contracted and menacing forehead, made me afraid of a worser life to ensue than that which was already past, but afterwards, with a kind of confused speech, saying that nothing which was never tried could be hurtful, inflamed my troubled mind with a more eager desire of my own ruin. Wherefore, perceiving that my old Nurse was not yet gone, and doubting lest her long tarrying might not mar my matters — being now resolved to die — or that some other accident might not take it quite away, with displayed arms upon my bed, and embracing it, I said: “O bed, farewell, praying the Gods that thou mayest be more fortunate and gracious to thy next Mistress whom thou shalt receive than thou hast been to me.” After which words, my eyes rolling about the chamber, the which I never thought to have seen any more, surprised now with sudden grief, I was deprived of the light of the Heavens, and grovelling up and down, surseized (I know not) with what a shivering and trembling fear throughout all my body, I would have risen up, but every part of the same, overcome with quaking fear, did not suffer me, but I fell suddenly down again, not once, but thrice, upon my face: in which occurrent I felt a fierce war between my angry soul and my timorous and vital spirits, which by main force did keep it still, that fain would have flown away. But my soul at last overcoming them, and driving away cold fear from me, suddenly kindled me with a hot and burning dolour, and so I recovered my wandered forces again. And, yet my face morphewed with the pale colour of death, I violently rose up, and as the sturdy Bull, having received some mortal prick, fiercely runneth up and down, beating and tormenting himself, even so, hellish Tesiphon, gadding madly up and down before mine eyes, made me (like a frantic and mad Woman, and not knowing mine own fancies) cast myself from the bed upon the ground, and led by this infernal fiend I did run towards the stairs that went up to the highest part of the house. And having in a trice leaped out of the Chamber, with most extreme lamentations and careless looks, viewing every part of the house, at last with a hollow and feeble voice I said: “O most unlucky lodging unto me, remain thou here for ever, and make my fall manifest to my Lover, if ever he return again. And thou, O dear Husband, comfort thyself, and from henceforward seek out a new wife, but a more wise, loving and more loyal mate than Fiammetta hath been unto thee. O my dear Sisters, Parents, and all the rest of my other companions and friends (with all ye my faithful Servants), live ye here with all the favour that the Gods may afford you.”
Thus like a mad Woman, with sorrowful words I did hasten to my wicked end. But the old Nurse, as one by some sudden fear awaked out of a slumber, carelessly leaving off her work at the wheel, greatly amazed at the sight of this spectacle, lifted up her aged body, and, crying as loud as ever she could, made post haste to follow me, who with a hoarse voice, and scarcely understood of me, said: “O daughter, whither dost thou run? What mad fury doth drive thee forward? Is this the fruit that my words (as thou saidst), by the received comfort of them, did put in thy breast? Whither goest thou? Tarry for me (alas).” Afterwards with a louder voice she yet exclaimed: “O ye young men, and servants of the house, come, come quickly, and take away this fond Woman, and keep her back from her furious actions and desperate intent!” Her vociferations were of no force, and their haste less speedy. And methought I had Mercury his wings fastened to my shoulders, and that swifter than Atalanta, nay, than any wind, I did fly to my violent death. But of unexpected chances (appending as well to good as to wicked purposes) one (alas) was an occasion to make me still enjoy this loathsome life: because my long garments, waving and blown abroad with the force of my hasty flight, and friendly enemies to my furious pretence, myself also not able to restrain my course, were fastened (I know not how) to a shivered post by the wall as I was running, and interrupted my swift passage, which, for all the striving and pulling that I could do, did not suffer me to leave any piece of them behind me. Wherefore, whilst I was labouring to undo them, the sorrowful Nurse, breathless and panting, came upon me, to whom (I remember), with tainted cheeks, full of burning anger, and with outrageous outcries, I said: “O miserable old woman, pack from hence in an evil hour if thy life be dear unto thee. Thinking to help me thou dost hinder me, in not permitting me to execute this last and mortal duty, resolved thereunto, and spurred on with an eager desire to cut in sunder the web of all my woes. Because whosoever doth let one from dying that is disposed, desirous and resolved to die, doth no less than kill him himself. Wherefore, thou art now become my homicide, thinking to deliver me from death, and (like the greatest enemy to my quiet rest) dost endeavour with thy thankless office to prolong my sorrows.”
My tongue exclaimed, and my heart burned with ire, and yet, thinking to have loosed my garments in haste, I did entangle them more and more, which, as soon as I had found out the way to undo, I was immediately held and stayed by the noise of the clamorous Nurse, so that, by her feeble forces and hanging upon me, I was greatly disturbed of my purpose. But, unwinding myself at last out of her hands, her strength had profited her nothing at all if the young Servants and Women at her continual exclamations had not come running from every part of the house and force, perforce, had not stayed me. Out of whose hands, with much struggling and divers frisks, and with greater forces also (the desire of death adding strength to my mighty will) I thought to have ungrappled myself, but breathless at the last, and overcome by them, I was carried back again to my Chamber, which once I thought never to have see
n again. How many times (alas) with lamentable and bitter speeches did I chide them, saying:
“O vile and base Servants, what boldness is this, that makes you so malapert, and what precipitate presumption is this that moves you so rudely and so roughly to handle her whom you should reverence, and, contrary to your duty, thus violently to lay hands and grip your Mistress, to whom you should be most obsequious, and of whose welfare you should be most careful, and at whose will and pleasure you should be most diligent and ready? What kind of fury (mad wretches) hath inspired you to these rash dealings? And thou, wicked Nurse, the cruel example and mean of all my miserable griefs yet to come, why hast thou repugned my last designs?
“Why, dost not thou know that in procuring and helping forward my death thou hadst done me a greater pleasure and a better turn than in withholding me from it? Wherefore, let this miserable part be played, and let the end of my tragical life be duly accomplished by me, and (if thou lovest me, as I think thou dost) leave me to mine own will; leave me (I say) to mine own self to represent the last pageant of my doleful life. And (if thou art so pitiful and careful over me as thou showest) employ thy piety and study in saving my doubtful fame, and honour, which after my death shall still survive. Because in this piece of simple service, with which thou dost now hinder me, thy practice, pain and needless labour shall prove at length but vain. For dost thou think to take from me those sharp tools and cruel poniards with which I will at last broach this miserable heart of mine, and in whose points and edges consisteth the only hope of my desires? Or else strangling cords, loathsome and swelling poisons, mortiferous herbs, choking rivers, burning coals and consuming flames? What doth this vigilant care avail thee any more but to prolong a little this irksome life, and to reserve it to that kind of death (which even now, without touch or stain of infamy, might have set peace to my afflicted soul) which, by thy pitiless interruptions deferred, thou shalt doubtless, at one time or other, make most infamous unto all the world, and most shameful unto me. Because death is in every place, and consisteth in everything. Let me, therefore, now die, lest, growing to a more gracious condition of life, with a more inhuman mind and cruel hand, I prepare for myself the most miserable and cruel death that may be.”
Whilst, wretched Woman, I spake these words, I could not keep my hands still, but sometimes falling on one servant, and sometimes on another, catching some by their locks, I pulled the hair from their head, and fastening my nails in the faces of other some, I made the blood to spin out of their cheeks, tearing from other some their poor garments from their backs.
But (alas) neither the old Nurse nor the mangled servants answered me one word again, but, lamenting my senseless actions, executed their piteous functions towards me, whom then, with gentle words and entreaties, I endeavoured to gain to my will, which served my turn nothing at all.
Wherefore, like a frantic Hecuba, making a great noise, and with outrageous speeches, I began to exclaim, saying: “O wicked hands, and prone to all mischief, you, the adorners of my hurtful beauties, were a great occasion to make me become such an one as to seem so fair and pleasing in his eyes that I was desired of him whom I love most of all. Since, therefore, these evils have sprung by your help, in guerdon of this, use now your wicked cruelty upon my accursed body. Rent it in pieces and open it, and, dived in my hot blood, pull out from my accursed body my miserable heart and inexpugnable soul. Tear out (I say) this false heart, wounded with blind love. And since that all means of mortal and murdering instruments are taken from thee, with these revenging fingers (the adorners of my baneful beauties) and with these sharp nails piecemeal dismember, and without remorse of pity, rent it out.” Alas that my bootless speeches did menace and promise me desired evils, and commended them to the execution of willing hands, but the vigilant care of prying servants, being always ready to the hindrance of them, withheld them against my will. And the mournful and importunate Nurse, with doleful speeches after all this, began thus to say:
“O dearest daughter, by these miserable breasts which were the sources of thy aliments, I humbly pray thee, that with a quiet and appeased mind thou wouldest give ear to my words. By them I will labour to mitigate thy passions that thou shalt not sorrow any more, or to drive quite away (perhaps) from thee the blind anger that doth incend thee to this kind of fury, or else, with a more remiss and calm mind to make thee suffer the same: or else speedily to forsake it. Wishing thee to reduce that to thy erred memory that shall revive thee, and be no small health and great honour unto thee. It is therefore expedient for thee (good Lady), most famous for so rare virtues, as thou art endued with all the gifts of nature and fortune, not to be subject to pinching sorrow, nor (as a woman overcome) to turn thy back from daring dolours, from threatening mishaps and from pursuing woes.
“It is not a point of virtue to require death, and to call upon it, nor a part of magnanimity to be afraid of life, as thou art, but rather, to countermand pressing evils, and to fly away before them, is not the part of a courageous and resolute mind. Whosoever doth abate his destinies, and doth contemn, divide and cast from him the profits, pleasures, contents and goods of his life (as thou hast done), I know not what need he hath to seek death, and cannot tell why he feareth life, since that the one and the other is a will of a timorous person. Now if into the dark dungeon of extreme misery thou dost desire wilfully to cast thyself, seek not death, because this is the last expeller and extinguisher of it. Let this foolish fury fly out of thy mind, by the which (methinketh) thou dost seek both to have and to lose thy lover. Why, dost thou believe (by being dissolved into nothing) to get him again?” To whom I answered not a word. But there was such a rumour spread throughout the wide house, and throughout the City, and country round about, that all my servants (no otherwise than at the howling of some hungry wolf all the nearest inhabitants are wont to meet together) came running to me from every place, and all of them, affrighted with sudden sorrow, demanded what the matter was. But I had already forbidden them that knew it to tell anything at all. Wherefore, covering the horrible accident with a cunning lie, they rested all satisfied. My dear husband made haste thither, and my loving sisters, my careful parents and friends, with panting and fainting breasts, came running to me. And every one of them, equally deluded with a false tale, did (instead of a most wicked woman) repute and praise me for a holy Saint. And every one, after much weeping, first reproved my life punished with so much sorrow, labouring afterwards to comfort me up again. But from thenceforth it fell out that some believed I was haunted and stinged with some fury, and therefore like a mad woman continually watched me. But some, more pitiful than the rest, marking my mildness, and judging it (as it was indeed) but a certain grief of mind, with taking great compassion of me, laughed at that which the rest both did and said. And visited thus of many, I remained every day more amazed than other. And under the discreet guard of the sage Nurse I was closely kept. And as there is no anger so burning or so extreme but by course of time is made cold again, so remaining certain days in this case (as I have set down), I came to myself at last again, and did manifestly know the Nurse’s words to be true. And with bitter tears, therefore, I bewailed my past follies. But yet, although that the heat of my rage in time was spent, and became nothing, my love nevertheless did not one whit decrease, but tarried with me still by reason of the melancholy (used in other accidents before) which now continually I had, taking it grievously at the heart, to be forsaken for the unjust love of another woman. Wherefore I conferred with my Nurse oftentimes about this matter, and took counsel of her, desirous to find out some good means how to reclaim my old lover. And therefore sometimes I determined (by her advice) with pitiful letters to certify him of my sorrowful life and grievous misfortunes, and other sometimes we thought it more convenient, by some wise messenger, to let him understand of my daily woes, procured by his wilful absence. And truly although the Nurse was old, and the way very long and dangerous, yet she would for my sake have gone thither herself. But weighing everything well, we ju
dged the letters, were they never so pitiful, were not of any efficacy to move him from these present new loves, so that we accounted those but lost labour. Admit that (for all this) I did sometimes write certain, which had the very same issue that we conjectured of before.
To send the Nurse thither, I thought it as far from the purpose, because I did apparently perceive that she could never come to him alive, and to put my affiance and trust in another, I thought it too prejudicial to my honour and honesty. So that these first consultations were but frivolous. And there was not left any way in my mind to have him again but in my own person to go to him: to perform which enterprise there occurred divers things in my mind: all which by good reason were at last annihilated of my Nurse.
I thought sometimes to take the habit of a Pilgrim, and with some faithful companion and secret friend to seek him out in the very midst of his countries. And although this did seem possible unto me, notwithstanding, I did clearly see my honour to be in great hazard thereby, having heard how fair and wandering Pilgrims are oftentimes evilly abused of wicked ruffians and thieves, by the ways and in their travels. And besides this, knowing myself obliged to my good husband, without whom, or his leave, I could not conceive how to frame or how to take in hand this long journey, which thing to obtain in vain I might have hoped. Wherefore, I gave no place to this bootless invention. And therefore I was suddenly transported into another device, as inconvenient as the other was undecent for my estate before, and I imagined indeed that it should come to pass, and should verily have done it, if some repugnant chance in the meantime had not happened, but hereafter (if I do but live) there shall not effectual practices be wanting to fulfil the drift of my pretences. I feigned in these my foresaid adversities, if the Gods had delivered me from them, to have made a vow, desiring to have performed the which, with just reason I might have travelled up and down in my lover his countries: passing through the which I had opportunity at will to see and to recall him back again: which I discovered to my dear husband, who willingly and lovingly offered to furnish me with necessaries in the same voyage, yet wishing me to attend a more convenient time. But the delays hereof being very grievous, and no less dangerous unto me, and fearing lest it might be suspected, and so detected a vicious and wicked journey and Pilgrimage, this (I say) caused me to enter into new imaginations, and into other counsels: all which seemed worser to me than the rest alleged before, except only the marvellous and supernatural effects of Hecate with the which, because I might most safely commit myself to the fearful spirits, I had much talk and conversation, and with those especially whom I had heard were most skilful, and who themselves did boast to excel in art Magic, promising to perform and bring to pass what I would.
Collected Works of Giovanni Boccaccio Page 380
