And some of them swearing to carry me suddenly thither, others to wean his mind from all other loves, and to ingraft it in mine again, others telling that they would restore me to my former liberty, and myself desiring that the least of these might come to pass, I found them as full of tattling words and vain promises as their unperformed and simple deeds did manifest. Whereupon my flattering hope remained many times confused, and in suspense by them; and therefore, thinking it best of all to shake off these wicked drifts, I attended convenient time, in the which my husband promised me to fulfil my feigned vow.
THE SIXTH BOOK OF BOCCACE HIS FIAMMETTA
MY SORROWS (NOTWITHSTANDING the hope of my future voyage) were continuated, and the sky, with continual motion carrying the Sun with it, did draw one day after another without any intermediate space of time. And vain hope held me in wavering doubts longer than I would, my great griefs and grievous love not any whit diminished. And now that Bull, which sometimes transported Europa, held Phoebus with his golden light, and the days borrowing light of the nights, of the shortest, became the longest. And flowery Zephirus (arrived with his calm and peaceful blasts) had set the boisterous wars of Boreas in peace. And the stormy and dark tempests banished away with the cold air, and the white snow, discovering the tops of high hills and the plashy meadows (washed with the abundance of falling rain), had made every flower fairer, all grass to wax green, and generally had renewed all herbage. And that hoary whiteness, which all the cold winter season hath covered every tree, was now changed into a lively and fresh verdure. And in every place that season of the year did reign when joyful Ver abundantly enricheth the earth with his wished and welcome treasures. And the ground (starred, as it were, and wrought with violets, marigolds and sweet roses) did seem to countervail the eighth heaven in beauty, and Narcissus did now begin to grow on every meadow, and the mother of Bacchus also to show forth sprouting and fructiferous signs of her fertile womb, and did with her green burgeons (more than she was wont to do) overcharge her supporter and fellow Elm, himself also become now more heavy by his new garments. Driope, and the disastrous sisters of Phaeton, did also now show merry and cheerful countenances, having shaken off the miserable habit of hoary winter. The pretty birds, perching on every twig and bough, were heard to warble forth sweet and silver notes. And Proserpina her mother (that devout goddess of countrymen) joyfully waved up and down the fields with her goodly garments. And besides all these things my cruel Lord made every lusty, young and loving mind to feel the heat of his fiery darts hotter than before. Whereupon everyone, young Gentlewomen as well as gallant youths, adorning themselves (according to their degree) in the bravest manner and richest fashion of attire, endeavoured to please their best beloved. The merry feasts cheered up our Citizens, and filled all our City full of mirth, which were more magnificent and copious than any that had been made in flourishing Rome of yore. And the Theatres, resounding with sweet songs and melodious sounds, did invite every lover to them. The Heroical young gentlemen sometimes mounted upon stately coursers, and proud Genets did run at Tilt and Joust in rich and complete Harness, and sometimes their pampered and headstrong Horses, trapped all over with a caparison of little silver and golden bells, did hotly fight at Tourney. And sometimes, proudly prancing up and down on them, with skilful hand did show how these foaming, fiery steeds with frothy bit should be managed and ridden. The young and wanton Ladies, with decked troops of beautiful Gentlewomen following them (desiring to see these sports), wearing fine garlands of new flowers about their heads, did lend sweet, and gracious aspects to their gazing lovers, sometimes out of high windows, and sometimes from beneath their doors. Of which some with new gifts, others with a merry countenance, and some with sweet words, but generally all with some favour or other, did friendly honour their lovers and kindle greater flames in them. But I, like a stranger and forlorn woman, sitting by myself in a solitary place all alone, and comfortless for the decayed hope of my joyful times, did not a little sorrow with myself, but lament greatly and mourn.
Nothing pleaseth my melancholy fancies, no feast could make my heart merry nor afford any comfort to my grievous thoughts or ease my plaints. My hands touched no green leaves, carried no sweet flowers in them, and cared as little to handle any joyful thing as my sorrowful eyes to behold them. And I became so peevish an emulatress that I envied at others’ mirth, and with great desire did injuriously wish that every woman might be so entreated with love and served with such source of Fortune as I was. For with what a willing ear and with what great consolation do I remember that many times I have heard the recounted miseries and miserable mishaps that in times past and lately have befallen to unfortunate lovers. But while the angry Gods held me in this cursed condition of life, deceitful Fortune, with greater woes to afflict miserable men, changing, as it were, in the midst of their adversities, showeth them sometimes a pleasant look, because, abandoning themselves and trusting more to her fawning smiles, they may fall into greater miseries when their momentary mirth beginneth once, and on a sudden to cease.
And so these ignorant fools, relying wholly upon her, at last perceive themselves thrown headlong down, as miserable Icarus in the midst of his flight, trusting too much to his waxed wings, and, mounted up to the highest skies, fell from thence into the sea called yet after his own name.
This frowning Fortune, I say, perceiving me amongst such silly souls, not to be content with these past evils that she had given me, preparing worser for me, with a false and dissembled joy began to smile upon me and to mollify somewhat her paused anger: because recoiling a good way back she might (no otherwise than the hot rams of Africa in rutting time to give a greater dub) assail and hurt me the more.
And in this sort, with a certain vain gladness, I made truce for a season with my sharp and still sorrows. But my faithless lover having now tarried a great many months more than those four promised past and unperformed, it fell out that, sitting on a certain day all alone in my sorrowful chamber, though wearied with the overcloying company of doleful thoughts, and accustomed lamentations, the old and feeble Nurse, with a more hasty pace than her aged limbs could well endure, came rushing in, her furrowed face all bewet with trickling sweat, and, setting herself down by me, her breast panting up and down, and her eyes expressing a certain kind of joyfulness in them, she began many times to speak, but the precedent faintness of her wearied pulmon did ever break off her words in the midst. To whom (with a mind full of suspicious wonder and fearful doubt) I said: “O dear Nurse, what meaneth this great labour and pains that thou hast taken, thus tired thyself with? What thing dost thou so earnestly desire to tell, and with such haste, that first thou wilt not suffer thy breathless spirits to rest them? What, are they joyful or unlucky tidings? Shall I prepare myself to fly, to die, or what shall I do? Thy countenance (I know not how, nor wherefore) doth somewhat renew my drooping hope, but my affairs, hanging a long time in contrary suspense, persuade me to suspect more cruel mishaps, which are of common course and custom incident to miserable creatures. Tell me therefore quickly, and hold me no longer in doubt; resolve me what the occasion of this thy haste may import. Tell me whether any happy God or haggish fury hath driven thee hither.” Then the old woman, having yet scarce recovered her wind, interrupting my words, and more joyful than before, said: “O sweet daughter, rejoice; there is no cause of fear in my tidings. Shake off all grief and invest thy mourning mind again with thy shining robe of mirth; thy beloved and loving lover is returned. And Panphilus (Fiammetta) is at hand.” These angelical words entered so deep into my amazed mind, and filled it with such sudden joy, as my eyes did presently show an evident testimony of the same; but my pursuing grief and haunting miseries did incontinently bereave me of it and made me give no credit to them. Wherefore lamenting, I said: “O my dear Nurse, by those thy many years, and by thy aged body which long since hath desired eternal repose, I pray thee not to mock me (a most miserable and distressed soul), of whose cares and griefs thou oughtest also to be partaker.
“But earnestly looking on him, and marking well his habit, I judged that he came from the coasts and country of thy beloved Panphilus, and therefore said to him: ‘Gentleman (as the Gods may be favourable unto you), of courtesy tell me if you come from any foreign country.’
‘Yes, good woman, that I do,’ said he again. Then said I: ‘Tell me from whence, good Sir, if it please you.’ And he said: ‘From the coasts of Hetruria, and from the most noble City in the same I lately came, and of which I am.’ As soon as I heard this I then knew him to be Panphilus his countryman. Wherefore I asked him if he knew Panphilus and what was become of him.
“And he answered that he did know him very well, and reported many good things to me in praise and commendation of him, and besides this said that he had now come with him, if a little business had not stayed him there, but that (without all doubt) in a few days after he would come thither.
“In the meanwhile, that we were thus talking, all his companions that came belike with him leaping on shore, and ready to depart, he went away with them. I leaving apart all other business, with the greatest haste I could (thinking that I should not have lived so long until I had told thee of it) came hither breathless and panting as thou seest. Wherefore live now merrily once again, and exile these sad thoughts.” Which things, when she had spoken, with a most glad and joyful countenance I kissed her old forehead, and yet with a doubtful mind I many times afterwards conjured her, and did ask her again, if these news were true, wishing ever in mind that she should not tell the contrary, and doubting lest she had deceived me. But after that many times with holy oaths she did swear that she had told me nothing more than truth, although that Ay and No went wavering up and down my suspicious head. Like a gladsome woman with these speeches I rendered immortal thanks to the Gods, saying:
“O supreme Jupiter, most royal rector and majestical sovereign of the high heavens. O luminate and radiant Apollo, from whom nothing is hid. O gracious Venus and most pitiful of thy subjects.
O sacred Boy carrying the golden and sweet darts, be ye all praised together and with equal honour magnified. Whosoever persevereth in your hope cannot perish in his long and doubtful travels. Behold by your favourable mercies, and not by my merits, my desired Panphilus doth return, whom I shall not so soon see, but that your altars (heretofore visited of me with most lamentable and pitiful prayers, and washed with bitter tears) shall now with my obsequious hands be perfumed with most sweet odours and precious incense. And to thee, Fortune, full of pity, turning now thy wrathful face away from my manifold evils, will I presently give, and erect, the promised image, with testimony of thy needful and imparted benefits.
“But most humbly obtesting you all with that humility and devotion which may make you most exorable, that you would deign to take away all unlucky occurrents possible to hinder my Panphilus in his determined journey, and to conduct him hither as safe and sound as ever he was heretofore.” My prayers finished (no otherwise than an unhooded Falcon), rousing myself up together, and clapping my hands, I began thus to say: “O amorous breasts, weakened with long consuming sorrows, cast away from henceforth all pinching cares, since that my dear lover (remembering me again) doth now return according to his promise.
“Drive away sorrow, harbour no fear, and shake off the great shame that doth abound in afflicted and despised things, nor (as Fortune hath heretofore guided you) presume not to entertain any more grievous thoughts, but dissolve now into nothing the dark clouds of cruel destinies, and let every semblance and thought of my miserable times depart now from me; let my merry and pleasant countenance return again, and be made capable to rejoice at this present felicity, and let old Fiammetta with her ruinated soul be altogether blotted out of my memory.” Whilst joyfully I spake these words with myself, my heart began yet to doubt (I know not what), and a sudden searching cold (being ignorant of the cause thereof) did overrun all my body, so that it counterchecked my will, ready to rejoice my mind.
Wherefore I remained a good while as one astonied in the very midst of my speech. Alas that this inconvenience and fault doth haunt miserable and afflicted souls, that they cannot dispose and frame themselves to give credence to joyful things, apparent almost, and told them for their good and comfort. And admit that their happy fortune returned again, it is irksome nevertheless unto them to be merry at all, but believing it as a dream, they slenderly pass it away, as though it were not indeed. Wherefore, like one half amazed with myself, I began to say: “Who called me back again, or what forbade me from my new commenced joy? What, doth not Panphilus return? Truly yes.
“Who doth therefore command me to mourn again? There is no way now left, nor do I see any occasion to new make me fall into my old sadness. Who doth therefore forbid me to deck myself with new flowers, and to adorn my fine body with rich robes? Alas, I know not, and yet I am forbidden (I know) by some secret suggestion of sorrow, and relic of hidden grief, of which my soul is not yet clearly purged.”
And standing on these doubtful points, and in this sort against my will, as though I had not been in myself, in the midst of all my doubtful errors great store of tears fell from my eyes, and in the chiefest of my new merry mood my accustomed lamentations abruptly disturbed it. And thus my long afflicted heart did by the ever-running conduits of my eyes send forth her wonted and wasteful tears.
And my unconstant mind (divining as it were of ensuing misery and of worse mishaps) did with great grief and lamentations (like the Sicilian hill) evaporate many scalding sighs and sobs, most manifest signs, by the which I do now certainly know, that then there is some great and stormy tempest near at hand, when, without any blast of turbulent winds, the wary Seamen perceiveth the calm and quiet seas begin to swell. But yet desirous to overcome that which my mind would not, I said: “O miserable woman, what ill news and what misfortunes to come needless dost thou feign in thy suspicious mind? Say that this which thou foretellest of may happen to thy doubting mind of consequent mishaps, thou fearest (alas) too late, and without any profit at all.”
From these words (therefore) ever after I applied my mind wholly to a new kind of mirth, and I did (as well as I could) extinguish all melancholic thoughts. And warning my faithful Nurse to be diligent about Panphilus his return, I changed my mourning weeds into gorgeous
and gallant vestments, and began to wax very curious, and careful of myself, because lest by my long affected countenance and disordered attire I might not at his return seem unlovely in his eyes.
My pale and lean cheeks began to recover their lost and lively colour, and recovering their forsaken plumpness, began to wax round again. And my tears now dried up, took away with them also those red and purple rainbows which encompassed my eyes round about: the which, being returned into their due places, received again their whole and perfect lights.
And my withered cheeks, being somewhat broken and worn by continual streams of tears that washed them, grew again to their old and former softness. And my neglected hair, although not suddenly they became not golden, they wanted not now their accustomed frizzlings and dainty deckings to make them look so passing fair as once they did. And my dear and costly apparel, having a long time lain unworn in sweet Indian presses, did now bravely set forth my seemly body. What more? In brief, I turned my pains to pleasures, my griefs to gladness, my sighing to singing, my mourning to mirth, and made a renovation of myself, and of all things else that belonged to me. And I made myself almost as beautiful as once I was, first, and brought myself wellnigh to my former estate and happiness of life, insomuch that the Gentlewomen my near neighbours, my dear kinsfolks, and my loving husband marvelled not a little at this sudden change, saying to themselves:
Collected Works of Giovanni Boccaccio Page 381
