Collected Works of Giovanni Boccaccio

by Giovanni Boccaccio

  Patr. The first was Menelaus’ kiss; this, mine:

  Patroclus kisses you.

  Men. O! this is trim. 40

  Patr. Paris and I, kiss evermore for him.

  Men. I’ll have my kiss, sir. Lady, by your leave.

  Cres. In kissing, do you render or receive?

  Patr. Both take and give.

  Cres. I’ll make my match to live, 45

  The kiss you take is better than you give;

  Therefore no kiss.

  Men. I’ll give you boot; I’ll give you three for one.

  Cres. You’re an odd man; give even, or give none.

  Men. An odd man, lady! every man is odd. 50

  Cres. No, Paris is not; for, you know ’tis true,

  That you are odd, and he is even with you.

  Men. You fillip me o’ the head.

  Cres. No, I’ll be sworn.

  Ulyss. It were no match, your nail against his horn. 55

  May I, sweet lady, beg a kiss of you?

  Cres. You may.

  Ulyss. I do desire it.

  Cres. Why, beg, then.

  Ulyss. Why, then, for Venus’ sake, give me a kiss, 60

  When Helen is a maid again, and his.

  Cres. I am your debtor; claim it when ’tis due.

  Ulyss. Never’s my day, and then a kiss of you.

  Dio. Lady, a word: I’ll bring you to your father. [DIOMEDES leads out CRESSIDA.

  Nest. A woman of quick sense. 65

  Ulyss. Fie, fie upon her!

  There’s language in her eye, her cheek, her lip,

  Nay, her foot speaks; her wanton spirits look out

  At every joint and motive of her body.

  O! these encounterers, so glib of tongue, 70

  That give a coasting welcome ere it comes,

  And wide unclasp the tables of their thoughts

  To every tickling reader, set them down

  For sluttish spoils of opportunity

  And daughters of the game. [Trumpet within. 75

  All. The Trojans’ trumpet.

  Agam. Yonder comes the troop.

  Enter HECTOR, armed; ÆNEAS, TROILUS, and other Trojans, with Attendants.

  Æne. Hail, all you state of Greece! what shall be done

  To him that victory commands? or do you purpose 80

  A victor shall be known? will you the knights

  Shall to the edge of all extremity

  Pursue each other, or shall be divided

  By any voice or order of the field?

  Hector bade ask. 85

  Agam. Which way would Hector have it?

  Æne. He cares not; he’ll obey conditions.

  Achil. ’Tis done like Hector; but securely done,

  A little proudly, and great deal misprising

  The knight oppos’d. 90

  Æne. If not Achilles, sir.

  What is your name?

  Achil. If not Achilles, nothing.

  Æne. Therefore Achilles; but, whate’er, know this:

  In the extremity of great and little, 95

  Valour and pride excel themselves in Hector;

  The one almost as infinite as all,

  The other blank as nothing. Weigh him well,

  And that which looks like pride is courtesy.

  This Ajax is half made of Hector’s blood: 100

  In love whereof half Hector stays at home;

  Half heart, half hand, half Hector comes to seek

  This blended knight, half Trojan, and half Greek.

  Achil. A maiden battle, then? O! I perceive you.

  Re-enter DIOMEDES. 105

  Agam. Here is Sir Diomed. Go, gentle knight,

  Stand by our Ajax: as you and Lord Æneas

  Consent upon the order of their fight,

  So be it; either to the uttermost,

  Or else a breath: the combatants being kin 110

  Half stints their strife before their strokes begin. [AJAX and HECTOR enter the lists.

  Ulyss. They are oppos’d already.

  Agam. What Trojan is that same that looks so heavy?

  Ulyss. The youngest son of Priam, a true knight:

  Not yet mature, yet matchless; firm of word, 115

  Speaking in deeds and deedless in his tongue;

  Not soon provok’d, nor being provok’d soon calm’d:

  His heart and hand both open and both free;

  For what he has he gives, what thinks he shows;

  Yet gives he not till judgment guide his bounty, 120

  Nor dignifies an impure thought with breath.

  Manly as Hector, but more dangerous;

  For Hector, in his blaze of wrath, subscribes

  To tender objects; but he in heat of action

  Is more vindicative than jealous love. 125

  They call him Troilus, and on him erect

  A second hope, as fairly built as Hector.

  Thus says Æneas; one that knows the youth

  Even to his inches, and with private soul

  Did in great Ilion thus translate him to me. [Alarum. HECTOR and AJAX fight. 130

  Agam. They are in action.

  Nest. Now, Ajax, hold thine own!

  Tro. Hector, thou sleep’st; awake thee!

  Agam. His blows are well dispos’d: there, Ajax!

  Dio. You must no more. [Trumpets cease. 135

  Æne. Princes, enough, so please you.

  Ajax. I am not warm yet; let us fight again.

  Dio. As Hector pleases.

  Hect. Why, then will I no more:

  Thou art, great lord, my father’s sister’s son, 140

  A cousin-german to great Priam’s seed;

  The obligation of our blood forbids

  A gory emulation ‘twixt us twain.

  Were thy commixtion Greek and Trojan so

  That thou couldst say, ‘This hand is Grecian all, 145

  And this is Trojan; the sinews of this leg

  All Greek, and this all Troy; my mother’s blood

  Runs on the dexter cheek, and this sinister

  Bounds in my father’s,’ by Jove multipotent,

  Thou shouldst not bear from me a Greekish member 150

  Wherein my sword had not impressure made

  Of our rank feud. But the just gods gainsay

  That any drop thou borrow’dst from thy mother,

  My sacred aunt, should by my mortal sword

  Be drain’d! Let me embrace thee, Ajax; 155

  By him that thunders, thou hast lusty arms;

  Hector would have them fall upon him thus:

  Cousin, all honour to thee!

  Ajax. I thank thee, Hector:

  Thou art too gentle and too free a man: 160

  I came to kill thee, cousin, and bear hence

  A great addition earned in thy death.

  Hect. Not Neoptolemus so mirable,

  On whose bright crest Fame with her loud’st oyes

  Cries, ‘This is he!’ could promise to himself 165

  A thought of added honour torn from Hector.

  Æne. There is expectance here from both the sides,

  What further you will do.

  Hect. We’ll answer it;

  The issue is embracement: Ajax, farewell. 170

  Ajax. If I might in entreaties find success, —

  As seld I have the chance, — I would desire

  My famous cousin to our Grecian tents.

  Dio. ’Tis Agamemnon’s, wish, and great Achilles

  Doth long to see unarm’d the valiant Hector. 175

  Hect. Æneas, call my brother Troilus to me,

  And signify this loving interview

  To the expecters of our Trojan part;

  Desire them home. Give me thy hand, my cousin;

  I will go eat with thee and see your knights. 180

  Ajax. Great Agamemnon comes to meet us here.

  Hect. The worthiest of them tell me name by name;

  But for Achilles, mine own searching eyes
/>   Shall find him by his large and portly size.

  Agam. Worthy of arms! as welcome as to one 185

  That would be rid of such an enemy;

  But that’s no welcome; understand more clear,

  What’s past and what’s to come is strew’d with husks

  And formless ruin of oblivion;

  But in this extant moment, faith and troth, 190

  Strain’d purely from all hollow bias-drawing,

  Bids thee, with most divine integrity,

  From heart of very heart, great Hector, welcome.

  Hect. I thank thee, most imperious Agamemnon.

  Agam. [To TROILUS.] My well-fam’d Lord of Troy, no less to you. 195

  Men. Let me confirm my princely brother’s greeting:

  You brace of war-like brothers, welcome hither.

  Hect. Whom must we answer?

  Æne. The noble Menelaus.

  Hect. O! you, my lord? by Mars his gauntlet, thanks! 200

  Mock not that I affect the untraded oath;

  Your quondam wife swears still by Venus’ glove:

  She’s well, but bade me not commend her to you.

  Men. Name her not now, sir; she’s a deadly theme.

  Hec. O! pardon; I offend. 205

  Nest. I have, thou gallant Trojan, see thee oft,

  Labouring for destiny, make cruel way

  Through ranks of Greekish youth: and I have seen thee,

  As hot as Perseus, spur thy Phrygian steed,

  Despising many forfeits and subduements, 210

  When thou hast hung thy advanc’d word i’ th’ air,

  Not letting it decline on the declin’d;

  That I have said to some my standers-by,

  ‘Lo! Jupiter is yonder, dealing life!’

  And I have seen thee pause and take thy breath, 215

  When that a ring of Greeks have hemm’d thee in,

  Like an Olympian wrestling: this have I seen;

  But this thy countenance, still lock’d in steel,

  I never saw till now. I knew thy grandsire,

  And once fought with him: he was a soldier good; 220

  But, by great Mars, the captain of us all,

  Never like thee. Let an old man embrace thee;

  And, worthy warrior, welcome to our tents.

  Æne. ’Tis the old Nestor.

  Hect. Let me embrace thee, good old chronicle, 225

  That hast so long walk’d hand in hand with time:

  Most reverend Nestor, I am glad to clasp thee.

  Nest. I would my arms could match thee in contention,

  As they contend with thee in courtesy.

  Hect. I would they could. 230

  Nest. Ha!

  By this white beard, I’d fight with thee to-morrow.

  Well, welcome, welcome! I have seen the time. —

  Ulyss. I wonder now how yonder city stands,

  When we have here her base and pillar by us. 235

  Hect. I know your favour, Lord Ulysses, well.

  Ah! sir, there’s many a Greek and Trojan dead,

  Since first I saw yourself and Diomed

  In Ilion, on your Greekish embassy.

  Ulyss. Sir, I foretold you then what would ensue: 240

  My prophecy is but half his journey yet;

  For yonder walls, that pertly front your town,

  Yond towers, whose wanton tops do buss the clouds,

  Must kiss their own feet.

  Hect. I must not believe you: 245

  There they stand yet, and modestly I think,

  The fall of every Phrygian stone will cost

  A drop of Grecian blood: the end crowns all,

  And that old common arbitrator, Time,

  Will one day end it. 250

  Ulyss. So to him we leave it.

  Most gentle and most valiant Hector, welcome.

  After the general, I beseech you next

  To feast with me and see me at my tent.

  Achil. I shall forestall thee, Lord Ulysses, thou! 255

  Now, Hector, I have fed mine eyes on thee;

  I have with exact view perus’d thee, Hector,

  And quoted joint by joint.

  Hect. Is this Achilles?

  Achil. I am Achilles. 260

  Hect. Stand fair, I pray thee: let me look on thee.

  Achil. Behold thy fill.

  Hect. Nay, I have done already.

  Achil. Thou art too brief: I will the second time,

  As I would buy thee, view thee limb by limb. 265

  Hect. O! like a book of sport thou’lt read me o’er;

  But there’s more in me than thou understand’st.

  Why dost thou so oppress me with thine eye?

  Achil. Tell me, you heavens, in which part of his body

  Shall I destroy him? whether there, or there, or there? 270

  That I may give the local wound a name,

  And make distinct the very breach whereout

  Hector’s great spirit flew. Answer me, heavens!

  Hect. It would discredit the bless’d gods, proud man,

  To answer such a question. Stand again: 275

  Think’st thou to catch my life so pleasantly

  As to prenominate in nice conjocture

  Where thou wilt hit me dead?

  Achil. I tell thee, yea.

  Hect. Wert thou an oracle to tell me so, 280

  I’d not believe thee. Henceforth guard thee well,

  For I’ll not kill thee there, nor there, nor there;

  But, by the forge that stithied Mars his helm,

  I’ll kill thee every where, yea, o’er and o’er.

  You wisest Grecians, pardon me this brag; 285

  His insolence draws folly from my lips;

  But I’ll endeavour deeds to match these words,

  Or may I never —

  Ajax. Do not chafe thee, cousin:

  And you, Achilles, let these threats alone, 290

  Till accident or purpose bring you to ‘t:

  You may have every day enough of Hector,

  If you have stomach. The general state, I fear,

  Can scarce entreat you to be odd with him.

  Hect. I pray you, let us see you in the field; 295

  We have had pelting wars since you refus’d

  The Grecians’ cause.

  Achil. Dost thou entreat me, Hector?

  To-morrow do I meet thee, fell as death;

  To-night all friends. 300

  Hect. Thy hand upon that match.

  Agam. First, all you peers of Greece, go to my tent;

  There in the full convive we afterwards,

  As Hector’s leisure and your bounties shall

  Concur together, severally entreat him. 305

  Beat loud the tabourines, let the trumpets blow,

  That this great soldier may his welcome know. [Exeunt all except TROILUS and ULYSSES.

  Tro. My Lord Ulysses, tell me, I beseech you,

  In what place of the field doth Calchas keep?

  Ulyss. At Menelaus’ tent, most princely Troilus: 310

  There Diomed doth feast with him to-night;

  Who neither looks upon the heaven nor earth,

  But gives all gaze and bent of amorous view

  On the fair Cressid.

  Tro. Shall I, sweet lord, be bound to thee so much, 315

  After we part from Agamemnon’s tent,

  To bring me thither?

  Ulyss. You shall command me, sir.

  As gentle tell me, of what honour was

  This Cressida in Troy? Had she no lover there 320

  That wails her absence?

  Tro. O, sir! to such as boasting show their scars

  A mock is due. Will you walk on, my lord?

  She was belov’d, she lov’d; she is, and doth:

  But still sweet love is food for fortune’s tooth. [Exeunt. 325

  Act V. Scene I.

  THE GRECIAN CAMP. Before ACHILLES’ Tent.

 
; Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS.

  Achil. I’ll heat his blood with Greekish wine to-night,

  Which with my scimitar I’ll cool to-morrow.

  Patroclus, let us feast him to the height. 5

  Patr. Here comes Thersites.

  Enter THERSITES.

  Achil. How now, thou core of envy!

  Thou crusty batch of nature, what’s the news?

  Ther. Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and idol of idiot-worshippers, here’s a letter for thee. 10

  Achil. From whence, fragment?

  Ther. Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy.

  Patr. Who keeps the tent now?

  Ther. The surgeon’s box, or the patient’s wound.

  Patr. Well said, adversity! and what need these tricks? 15

  Ther. Prithee, be silent, boy: I profit not by thy talk: thou art thought to be Achilles’ male varlet.

  Patr. Male varlet, you rogue! what’s that?

  Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now, the rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o’ gravel i’ the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, lime-kilns i’ the palm, incurable bone-ache, and the rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries!

  Patr. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus?

  Ther. Do I curse thee? 20

  Patr. Why, no, you ruinous butt, you whoreson indistinguishable cur, no.

  Ther. No! why art thou then exasperate, thou idle immaterial skein of sleave silk, thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal’s purse, thou? Ah! how the poor world is pestered with such water-flies, diminutives of nature.

  Patr. Out, gall!

  Ther. Finch egg!

  Achil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite 25

  From my great purpose in to-morrow’s battle.

  Here is a letter from Queen Hecuba,

  A token from her daughter, my fair love,

  Both taxing me and gaging me to keep

  An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it: 30

  Fall Greeks; fail fame; honour or go or stay;

  My major vow lies here, this I’ll obey.

  Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent;

  This night in banqueting must all be spent.

  Away, Patroclus! [Exeunt ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. 35

  Ther. With too much blood and too little brain, these two may run mad; but if with too much brain, and too little blood they do, I’ll be a curer of madmen. Here’s Agamemnon, an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails, but he has not so much brain as ear-wax: and the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, the primitive statue, and oblique memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother’s leg, to what form but that he is should wit larded with malice and malice forced with wit turn him to? To an ass, were nothing: he is both ass and ox; to an ox, were nothing: he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care; but to be Menelaus! I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites, for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus. Hey-day! spirits and fires!