The Death of the Gods

by Dmitry Sergeyevich Merezhkovsky

  XX

  Composers of Court epigrams, who mockingly nicknamed Julian"Victorinus" or "the little Conqueror," were astonished to receive,time after time, news of the Caesar's continual victories. Thelaughable gradually became the terrible. General discussion aroseabout witchcrafts and secret daemonic forces backing the fortunes ofthe friend of Maximus of Ephesus.

  Julian had conquered and restored to the Roman Empire Argentoratum,Bracomagum,[2] Tres Tabernae,[3] Noviomagus,[4] Vangiones,[5]Moguntiacum.[6]

  [2] Brumat near Strasburg.

  [3] Saverne (Vosges).

  [4] Spires.

  [5] Worms.

  [6] Mayence.

  The soldiers worshipped him as much as ever; and Julian became moreand more convinced that the Olympians were protecting him andadvancing his cause. But, for prudential reasons, he continued toattend Christian churches, and in the town of Vienna on the banks ofthe river Rhodanus he had been present at an especially solemn mass.

  In the middle of December the conquering Caesar was returning after along campaign to winter quarters in his beloved Parisis-Lutetia on thebanks of the Seine.

  Night was closing in. The southern soldiers were marvelling at the palegreen lights of the northern sky. New-fallen snow sounded crisply underthe tread of the soldiers. Lutetia, built on a little island, wassurrounded by wide river-channels. Two wooden bridges connected thetown with steep banks. Its houses were built in the Gallo-Roman style,with broad glazed galleries, instead of the open porticoes of southerncountries. The smoke of a multitude of chimneys hung over the town, andthe trees were hoar with frost.

  Fig-trees carefully swaddled in straw, and brought by the Romans fromthe south, clung to the southward-facing walls of the gardens, likechildren dreading the cold.

  This year, in spite of occasional thawing winds from the south, thewinter had been severe. Huge blocks of ice, crashing and grindingtogether, were floating down the Seine. The Greek and Roman soldiersused to watch these in surprise, and Julian too wondered at the beautyof the blue and green transparent masses, and compared them toPhrygian marble, with its emerald-hued veins.

  There was something in the sad beauty of the North which, like adistant remembrance, haunted and thrilled his heart, as now he and histroop arrived at the palace, of which the brick arcades and turretsrose in sharp black outline against the twilight sky.

  Julian went into the library. The cold was intense; a great fire waskindled on the hearth, and letters which had arrived at Lutetia duringhis absence were brought to him. One of these from Asia Minor camefrom Iamblicus. Julian thought that the fragrance of the East camewith it.

  Outside a hurricane was raging, and the wind roaring by struck violentblows on the closed shutters. Shutting his eyes, Julian dreamed ofmarble porticoes and gleaming temples veiled in obscurity, sweepingaway to the horizon to disappear like golden clouds.

  He shivered, rose, and noticed that the fire had gone out. He couldhear a mouse gnawing the parchments in the library.

  Julian suddenly felt a longing to see a human face. With ahalf-humorous smile he remembered that he had a wife. She was arelative of the Empress Eusebia, named Helena, whom the Emperor hadforced to marry Julian shortly before his departure for Gaul. Juliancared nothing for Helena. Although more than a year had elapsed sincetheir marriage he had scarcely seen her; he knew nothing of her, andhad never passed a night under the same roof. His wife had remained avirgin.

  From youth up, her dream had been to become the spouse of Christ. Theidea of marriage filled her with disgust. At first she had thought allwas lost, but, seeing afterwards that Julian asked from her noconjugal caresses, she grew calmer and lived in her apartment, morose,placid, dressed in black, the life of a nun. In her prayers Helena hadvowed perpetual chastity.

  On this night a mischievous curiosity drove Julian to the tower inwhich his wife was praying. He opened the door without knocking, andwent into the feebly lighted cell; the virgin was kneeling before alectern above which hung a large crucifix.

  Julian approached, and screening the flame of the lamp with one hand,gazed at his wife for some minutes, frowning. She was so absorbed indevotion that she did not notice him. He said--

  "Helena!"

  She uttered a cry and turned her pale severe face towards Julian.

  "How you startled me!"

  He looked wonderingly at the great crucifix, the gospel, and thelectern, and murmured--

  "Are you always praying?"

  "Yes! I pray for you also, well-beloved Caesar."

  "For me? Really!... Confess that you believe me to be a great sinner?"

  She lowered her eyes without answering. His frown became deeper.

  "Do not be afraid; speak out. Don't you believe that I am speciallyguilty, in some manner, before God?"

  She answered in a low voice--

  "Specially?... Yes, I think so. Do not be angry...."

  "I was sure of it.... Now tell me what it is? I must repent me of mycrimes."

  Helena resumed, in a yet lower voice, and more severely--

  "Do not laugh! I have to answer for your soul before the Eternal----"

  "You ... for mine?"

  "We are joined for ever."

  "By what?"

  "The sacrament of marriage."

  "Religious marriage? But up till now we are strangers to one another,Helena!"

  "I fear for your soul, Julian," she repeated, fixing on him herinnocent eyes.

  Placing his hand on her shoulder, he gazed mockingly at the pale face,so cold in its chastity. The small and lovely mouth, with its rosylips half parted with an expression of fear and inquiry, was instrange contrast to the rest of the face. Julian leaned towards her,and before she had time to regain her presence of mind, kissed her onthe lips.

  She started and rushed to a far corner of the room, hiding her face inher hands. Then gazing at Julian, her eyes wild with fear, she hastilycrossed herself, murmuring--

  "Away, away, O evil one! I know thee; thou art not Julian, but theDevil. In the name of the most Holy Cross, I conjure thee ...disappear!"

  Anger seized Julian; he turned to the door and bolted it; thenapproaching Helena with a smile he said--

  "Be yourself, Helena; I am a man--I am your husband--and not theDevil! The Church has blessed our union." He gazed upon her withstrangely warring emotions. She slowly drew her hands from her eyes.

  "Forgive me ... it seemed to me ... you frightened me so, Julian.... Iknow that you desire nothing evil ... but I have had visions.... Justnow I believed.... He haunts this place at night. Twice I have seenhim.... He said to me ill things about you. Since then I have beenafraid. He told me you bore on your face the mark of Cain.... Why doyou look at me so, Julian?"

  She was trembling and leaning against the wall; he approached and puthis arm round her waist.

  "What are you doing? Let me go, let me go!"

  She tried to cry out, to call the servant.

  "Eleutheria! Eleutheria!"

  "Why are you calling? Am I not your husband?"

  She began to weep bitterly.

  "Brother, this must not be.... I am the bride of Christ!... I believedthat you...."

  "The bride of the Roman Caesar cannot be the bride of Christ!"

  "Julian!... If you believe in Him...."

  He smiled.

  "I abhor the Galilean!"

  In a supreme effort she strove to repulse him, exclaiming, "Away,Devil!... Why hast thou abandoned me, Lord?"

  With his impious hands he tore off the black vestment. His soul wasfull of fear, but never before in his life had he known suchintoxication in evil-doing. Ironically, with a smile of defiance, theRoman Caesar gazed at the opposite corner of the cell, where in thefeeble flicker of the lamp-light hung the great black crucifix....