by Deb Rotuno
“Exactly!” I huffed, flicking Tyler’s ear from behind.
“You little…”
I heard the click of his seat belt as he started to turn around, but the car swerved and my mother gasped as a dog darted into the road. She slammed on the brakes, causing my seat belt to snap tight. There was a sickening thump before the car started to spin, and it made me sick to my stomach as trees and road blurred by. My brother cried out at the same time the car collided hard into something. I thought it was a tree at first…until my feet started to get wet.
The water was cold, dark, dirty, and it was pouring in from everywhere, despite the windows being up.
“We’re sinking!” I yelled but looked up front to see both my brother and our mother out cold. The latter had blood trickling down her face from a cut on her temple. “Mom! Mom!”
She roused a bit, glancing around. “Baby boy…you gotta get out. Get your brother out. I’m right behind you…”
I fumbled for my seat belt lock, and it came undone. I dove over the seat to check on Tyler. Reaching for the window, I pushed the button to roll it down, but the power gave out about halfway down. I was skinny but not that skinny. I kicked at it with my sneaker once, twice, and it broke, leaving shards sticking up that were still attached to the window tint, but I ignored the sharp pain down my side when I swam through it, pulling Tyler behind me. We broke the surface of the water, and he snapped awake.
“Holy hell!” he gasped. “Where’s Mom?”
“She said she was behind us,” I panted, wincing as I touched the open wound on my ribs.
The car gave a lurch and a great big bubble of air, and I screamed for my mother, starting to head back down after her.
“No, Evan, you can’t! You’ll get sucked under!”
“What? No! Mom! Mom!”
I gasped when warm hands cupped my face.
“Evan,” Dani said over and over. “Evan, look at me.” She raked her fingers through my hair. “Oh shit, you’re shaking. I’m sorry. I’m…I should’ve…”
I squeezed my eyes closed, shaking my head. “I’m okay.”
“You sure?”
I nodded again. “Yeah. I just…”
“The water?”
My eyes snapped open to see her face, afraid she was disgusted with me—or worse, making fun of me. But she wasn’t. In fact, tears were welling up in her eyes.
“You scared me, Evan. One second, you were happy; the next you were zoned out and shaking. You don’t have to tell me, but just…let me know you’re okay. I should’ve told you about the lake. I’m sorry.”
She wrapped her arms around my waist in a hug so fierce it was almost too tight, but I sighed at the feel of it. It had been so long since I felt that calm after the memory.
“I’m sorry I scared you. I’m okay,” I whispered to the top of her head, smiling at how much shorter she was than me. “I-I have a fear of water, Dani, which you’ve figured out. The…why is harder to talk about.”
She hugged me closer before pushing back. “Why move to a beach town, Evan?”
Smiling, I shrugged. “Because it was as far away from home as I could get, and honestly, I thought I could fight it. Apparently I’m too weak.”
“You’re not weak.”
“I wish that were true.”
She studied my face, but her arms were still around me as she swallowed nervously. “Dinner’s ready. Are you…”
“I’m starving,” I whispered back, and the urge to kiss her was so damn strong that I started to sweat. She was so close, my arms were around her, and I was still coming down from the adrenaline. I caught a tear that escaped her eye, wiping it away. “I’m okay. I promise.”
“Kids?” Leanne called from the living room. “Time to eat!”
“’Kay,” Dani answered, taking my hand and leading me to the dining room, where everyone was already seated. They’d left two seats side by side opposite Aunt Tessa and Wes. Daniel was at the head of the table, with Leanne at the other end.
I glanced through the door, only to see a screened patio and another table. Smiling a little, I now knew why Wes had said he’d stopped them from eating outside. For me. In my whole life, no one had cared enough to do that. And no one had ever brought me down from the panic like Dani had; the feelings were almost overwhelming.
“So…Evan,” Leanne started, pulling me out of my own head as she passed the mashed potatoes. “Where are you from?”
“A little town in Montana. Key Lake,” I told them. “Smaller than Glenhaven.”
We all traded stories about small-town life. Wes and Dani ratted each other out about different adventures as kids, and I told a few about my brother and sister. The food was amazing and the conversation so much fun that I’d forgotten who I was sitting with—my bosses, my teacher, and the prettiest girl I’d ever laid eyes on. I made no mention of my parents, which didn’t go unnoticed by Leanne, and Dani was right; they were a lot alike.
“What about your parents, sweet pea? What do they do?”
Wes and Dani froze, glaring her way. But I nodded. “My dad’s a doctor back home. My mother…” I took a deep breath. “My mother died when I was twelve.”
“Oh, darlin’, that’s…I’m sorry,” Aunt Tessa crooned softly. “Did she—”
“That’s enough.” Daniel’s voice was firm but still gentle. “Leave the boy alone.”
The table went quiet for a moment, but Leanne turned to Dani. “The art show is coming up. Can you help me again this year?”
“Yeah, sure.”
They started talking dates, who would be there, and how the new students this year were really talented, but soon Daniel’s heavy hand landed on my shoulder.
“I owe you an apology, son. Your mother’s name sounded familiar, so I searched for her online.” He kept his voice low and grimaced, shaking his head. “I’m…I…I saw there was an article. I’m sorry about the accident, Evan. Damn shame, really. You’re lucky to be alive, buddy. You and your brother.”
I nodded, pushing my potatoes around. I didn’t feel lucky. I felt like a failure, like I’d let my mother down somehow. Or maybe I’d let my dad down, which was why he hated the mere sight of me. I wasn’t sure.
“But I’ve read your mother’s work, son.” He grinned, patting my shoulder when I looked back his way. “You’re every bit as good as she was…” He pointed his fork at me. “Maybe better. She’d be damned proud. You should be too. We’ll see if we can shape you up to be a writer, if that’s what you want.”
“Yes, sir. I do.”
“Well, the talent is there. We’ll work on technique.” He nodded once to himself but grinned my way. “I’ll also tell you who you need for classes next year.”
“Thank you, sir. I appreciate that.”
“You’re a good kid, Evan. I can see that a mile away. If you weren’t, then this chatty group wouldn’t give you the time of day, but I’ve heard good things. You’re welcome here anytime.”
I felt my face heat up, but I thanked him again. Dani’s hand slid into mine on my lap, giving a squeeze.
Smiling, I looked her way as she said, “You can stay as long as you like, but I need to help clean up before I take you back to the dorms.”
“Okay. Want some help?” I offered.
“Yeah, that’d be awesome. Wes, you too!” she ordered, and he grinned and nodded.
As everyone finished up, Dani and I started to clear the table as Wes put leftovers away. They all were warm and welcoming, but Dani…God, I owed Dani something, anything. She deserved an explanation as to why I was the way I was. I needed to talk to Faith first, but I knew what she’d tell me. She’d say to write it down first, to get it down on paper in order to be ready to say it out loud. That may be true; I’d have to think about it. But for the moment, I was happy being treated just like Wes and Dani. In that house—in fact, for the first time since the accident—I felt like I belonged.
Chapter Seven
Evan
“THERE YOU
ARE,” Faith said through a laugh over the phone, and I couldn’t help but grin. “He gets a girlfriend and suddenly dumps the rest of us.”
I laughed, shaking my head as I walked across campus. “She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Ah, hell. Don’t tell me she’s friend-zoned you already,” she groaned.
“No, no…I don’t think so. I mean, it’s not…Faith, I’ve only been talking to her for a few weeks! Really talking to her, not just…stalking her in the library,” I mumbled.
“But you’ve had dinner at her house…what? Two times now? She calls you, texts you, not to mention she sits with you in class and at your table in the library,” Faith summed up, like she was calculating what that meant.
What the hell did that mean?
“Evan, it sounds like she’s waiting for you to make a move.”
“I don’t know how to make any moves, much less a move.”
Faith’s giggle was soft and short-lived. “You’re asking me? Maybe you should call Tyler.”
“Shit,” I sighed, gripping my hair. “Maybe. But he’s gonna give me all sorts of hell, Faith.”
I sat down on a bench just outside Sunset Roast. It was truck day, so I knew I had heavy lifting to do once I got inside. But I had a few minutes before I was due in.
“Shouldn’t…I mean, before any damn ‘moves,’ shouldn’t I tell Dani? Be honest, Faith. I mean, don’t you think she needs to know just how…fucked up I am? She’s seen some of it, but…I don’t know. I just think I’d rather be honest.”
All the humor left her voice. “Are you talking…physically or emotionally, big brother? Because really, I don’t think the scars are that bad. I know you caught some shit here, but these people are small-minded assholes, never mind what they thought they knew about our family.”
“I know, but I just think Dani deserves to know the truth about me. That’s all.”
“Can you talk to her?”
I sighed deeply, watching people walk by heading toward the beach or the boardwalk. “She’s…way more than I expected, Faith.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning she’s never once made fun of me or…or…looked down on me, no matter what she’s heard or seen. I just…maybe I need to tell it, but I think I need to write it first.”
Faith went quiet for a second or two, finally asking, “You really like this girl, don’t you?”
“Yes.” My answer came easily and assuredly. “I don’t wanna screw up, Faith. And…and…I don’t want to be something I’m not. I’m…My past makes me…me. But I can’t play games. I’m not a liar or a good-enough actor to play my bullshit off. I can’t hide what I am.” I sighed deeply, gripping my hair in my free hand. “I don’t give a shit about what most people think. I ignored it in Key Lake, and I don’t advertise it, but this is…Dani is important.”
“I don’t want you hurt, big brother,” Faith replied softly. “I don’t want your heart splattered all over hell and back, because then I’ll have to come down there and smack a bitch.”
Laughing, I sat forward on the bench and rested my elbows on my knees. “I appreciate that, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I just have to…find the words.”
“I wanna meet these people. They’ve…You sound…happy.”
Smiling a little, I said, “I could be. They’re like those silly sit-com TV families—all laughing and teasing and just…accepting. It’s different than what we had.”
“And for you, better. Mark my words, big brother, getting out of Key Lake will be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Have you talked to Dad about the holidays? No, probably not, or he’d be all stompy and pissy around here.”
A laugh barked out of me. “No, but I will. Thanksgiving is one thing. Christmas is another. The dorms close over the holidays.”
“Hmm…Well, shack up with your girl.”
“Jesus, Rylee Faith! She lives with her parents—my teacher!”
She laughed. “It’s worth a shot. It’ll make it easier to put the moves on her.”
“Stop it. I gotta go to work. You have homework. Go. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
I ended the call before pocketing my phone and walking into the coffee shop. I knew she was right about a couple of things. I needed to talk to Tyler, even to simply check in, but if anyone could help me with all the things I was feeling about Dani, it would be our older brother. I also knew that Faith was right about being happy…or at least happier. Without the constant reminder of my mistakes being thrown in my face on a daily basis, I found I could breathe, make clearer decisions, and relax just a little. However, the future conversation with Dani was niggling at me in the back of my mind, not to mention the looming one I’d have to have with my father concerning coming home.
When I stepped into the kitchen, Wes looked up from his clipboard, a smile spreading over his face. “Just in time for the fun shit.”
I grinned and nodded, setting my backpack down. Wes had told Meg and me a few days ago that he didn’t mind if we did homework during the downtimes as long as we took care of the customers, so I’d started bringing my books and laptop with me to work.
“Lots of homework?” he asked with a grunt as he handed over a box.
“No more than usual,” I told him.
“So a shit-ton, huh?”
Laughing, I nodded. “Exactly.”
We rotated creamers and milk, unloaded cases of sugar and coffee beans, and broke down the cardboard boxes to take out to the bin. The pastries we sold were brought in every other day from the local bakery, so they needed to be inventoried and rotated as well. After a few hours, I dropped the last of the garbage outside.
While Meg took her break, I watched the front counter with Susan. We had a few people come in, and I was wiping the counter down after the rush when she came to lean against the counter.
“You have an admirer.”
My face must’ve scrunched up in confusion, which made her laugh. “What’re you talking about?”
“Curly hair, glasses…sitting along the wall,” she said without turning around.
My gaze drifted around the sitting area of the coffee shop, only to lock on to Regan. “Oh, hell…” I sighed, going back to my cleaning. “She’s in a couple of my classes. And in my study group.”
“She’s pretty.”
I shrugged. “She’s…”
When I trailed off, she finished for me. “She’s not Dani.” She nudged me a bit.
My grin couldn’t be stopped, but I shook my head. “Nowhere close” was all I answered.
“God, you’re so fucking cute, Evan, I swear to God.” She chuckled low, finally reaching up to rough up my hair. “Dani’s a lucky girl. But what will you do about this one?”
“I dunno,” I answered honestly. “I’ve tried to keep to the project in class. Thankfully my roommate is in our group. Brett helps keep things on track.” I turned to wipe down the front counter. “I’ve never had that sort of attention from girls back home, so…”
“I call bullshit,” I heard in front of me, and I grinned, tilting my head up to see the prettiest of sights.
“Dani,” I whispered, still grinning.
“Knowing you, handsome, I’m willing to bet you just didn’t pay attention,” she continued, leaning on the counter on both elbows.
Susan cracked up, patting my back. “Now that’s probably the truth right there.” She shook her head. “Take your break, kiddo. Meg’s back.”
“Okay,” I said, looking to Dani. “Did you want something before I…”
Dani merely smiled, shaking her head, and she pointed to the table Meg and I used on breaks. “I’ll wait for you.”
When I came back with my backpack, she was sitting quietly with a cup of coffee in her hands. Her smile at me made me weak in the knees as I slid into the other side of the booth. I took out my notebooks and journal and set them aside.
“Did…Are you…Did you come to see me?” I asked her, smiling when her soft lau
gh and nod were aimed my way.
“Well, I didn’t come to see my cousin. I can pick on him at home.”
Grinning, I shook my head at her sarcasm. “Fair enough.”
She pulled my journal closer but didn’t open it. “This is beautiful.”
My smile was nervous, but I nodded. “Thanks. My sister got that for me before I left home. I’d always used just regular spiral notebooks, but she told me I needed something more…sophisticated.” I rolled my eyes at the thought.
“So…are there like a billion stories written down in these?” she asked, and her tone was teasing but sweet all the same, which made me laugh. “’Cause if that’s the case, I may run away with it.”
“Um…no. I usually type up stories on my laptop. Those are…” I sighed deeply, looking at the leather-bound journal more than the pretty face that made me nervous. “I…I have a difficult time with words sometimes, or…or…really with hard conversations. I tend to write out things I need to say in order to get it straight.” I tapped my temple to let her know what I meant. When she looked a bit confused, I added, “Umm…like coming to school here, for example. My dad wanted something closer or something more…Ivy League. I wanted…out.” I grimaced at how that sounded, but it was true. “So I wrote down everything positive that Edgewater could bring to the table so that when I finally approached him with my acceptance letter, he couldn’t argue…much.”
“Why would he care? I mean, if you were awarded a scholarship, wouldn’t he be happy?”
I was shaking my head before she even finished speaking. “My dad is…strict? He had plans, and I didn’t follow them, which made him unhappy.”
“Controlling, you mean.” She whispered that, looking at me carefully. “Evan, you’ve said more than once that you moved here because it was as far away as you could get, so I mean, it makes sense. I’m beginning to see that you and your dad don’t get along.”
“No, we don’t.” I opened my mouth to say more but snapped it shut again. I wanted to tell her that he blamed me for a whole lot of things, but I didn’t. And Wes’s voice carried across the coffee shop.
