1 The Cats that Surfed the Web

by Karen Anne Golden

  “Maybe the housekeeper came up here before she died in the basement,” Colleen surmised.

  “I doubt that. She was very weak,” Mark noted. “As a matter of fact, I can’t believe she made it out of her bed, let alone walk several blocks down here.”

  Katherine asked Mark, “While we are on the topic of locks, did you get in touch with Cokey and find out about the key?”

  “Actually, I did. And, I apologize for not letting you know earlier. Detective Martin called me and said the key the chief found was a copy of the new house key. She said she already spoke to you about it. So I got a hold of Cokey. He said he kept the second key of the locksets because he needed to get in and out of the house while you were still in New York. He’s very sorry. He said the key must have fallen out of his pocket the previous day.”

  “I guess that makes sense,” Katherine said. “So how do I get my key back?”

  “Probably not until the coroner’s ruling is in.”

  Colleen flipped her red hair back and said nonchalantly, “Are we going to be discussing this topic very long? I’m starving.”

  “Yes, I’m starving, too,” Mark said. “After you, Ladies,” he said politely.

  The three headed for the restaurant. When they arrived, they were shocked to see Patricia working.

  “Are you sure you two want to stay?” Mark asked.

  “I’m good. Let’s just get through it,” Katherine said.

  Velma Richardson bustled over and seated them in a quiet section of the dining room. She said to Katherine, “I remember you. You wanted some kind of wine and I didn’t know what it was.”

  “I hope I didn’t embarrass you.”

  “Shoot no,” Velma said, winking. “Do you want that Caber tonight?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Do you have a beer menu?” Colleen asked mischievously.

  Katherine smirked.

  “No, but I can tell ya what we have. Bud, Bud Light, and Amstel Light.”

  “No Guinness,” Colleen said, scrunching up her face.

  “Just what I named ya.”

  “Okay, bring me an Amstel Light.”

  “Me, too,” Mark said.

  While Velma was filling their drink orders, they engaged in idle small talk. Mark wanted to know about Abigail’s adjustment to the three Siamese. Katherine inquired about the Maine Coon. Colleen told funny stories about the cats, and Mark shared his stories about Bruiser. The conversation was deliberately kept light for reasons that none of them dared say.

  Patricia served the drinks and quickly took their pizza order. Katherine asked for a side salad and Patricia listed several salad dressings. “Ranch, Italian, French, Poppy seed . . .”

  “Poppy seed?” Katherine asked.

  “It’s quite good,” Mark answered.

  “Okay, then. I’ll try it.”

  Patricia briskly walked away, and Colleen began to tap her teeth with a mischievous glint in her eye.

  When Patricia brought the salad and set it on the table, Katherine turned up her nose and said, “On second thought I think I’ll have the Ranch.”

  While Patricia reached for the salad, Colleen slid the bowl in front of her. “I’ll take it,” she said, diving her fork into the lettuce.

  Patricia scowled, then said to Katherine, “I’ll bring you another one. What kind of dressing did you say?”

  “Ranch—like dude ranch?”

  Patricia huffed away.

  Colleen rolled her eyes, then remarked, “This salad dressing is delicious. Are you sure you don’t want to try it, Katz?”

  “No,” Katherine said. “The seeds get stuck in my teeth. Remember, Colleen?”

  Mark laughed.

  “Well, they do,” Katherine said.

  Colleen chuckled. “What’s with these people in Indiana putting poppy seeds into everything? Poppy seed muffins,” she began. “Poppy seed salad dressing—”

  “Poppy seed pizza,” Katherine joked.

  “Poppy seed daiquiri,” Mark added, joining the name game.

  “And for dessert we’ll have poppy seed cheesecake.” Colleen burst out laughing.

  Velma brought over the second salad and explained that she’d be their server. The three were relieved.

  The pizza arrived and they ate in silence, occasionally commenting about how good the food was. At nine o’clock, Mark drove them home and the three went inside. Nothing seemed unusual. The lights they’d turned on previously were still on, and the cats weren’t loitering in the atrium. Mark excused himself, saying he had to drive to Indianapolis in the morning to attend a seminar. After he left, Colleen and Katherine exchanged a few observations regarding the hostile Patricia, then went upstairs. Katherine opened the guest room door and the four cats spilled out.

  “Waugh,” Scout protested. “Me-yowl,” Lilac said. “Chirp,” Abby added.

  “Iris,” Katherine called.

  “Yowl,” Iris said.

  “Nothing seems out of the ordinary,” Colleen noted.

  “How are my kids?” Katherine asked the cats. “Listen, Colleen, is it okay if I let them roam tonight?”

  “I don’t mind. They won’t bother me anyway. I’ll keep my door closed. I’m going to call Mum, and then call it a night.”

  “Okay, but do you realize what I haven’t done yet?”

  “What?”

  “I haven’t checked my email messages.”

  “Better check them.”

  Katherine bound down the stairs and went into her office. She was surprised to find her computer on and an image on the screen.

  “Colleen,” she yelled. “Could you come down here for a minute?”

  Colleen came running down. “Where are you?”

  “In my office.”

  Colleen came in. “What’s wrong?”

  “Look,” Katherine said, pointing at the monitor.

  “Looks like a Google search.”

  “Look what’s on the screen.”

  “A book review—Madame Bovine.” Colleen squinted to read.

  “No, Madame Bovary. It’s a book written by a French author. You’ve never read it?”

  “No, can’t say that I have.”

  “The main character dies of arsenic poisoning.”

  Colleen slid down in the wing back chair. “I was searching for office chairs. I must have forgotten to log off. Guilty.”

  “I’m glad that you didn’t log off.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it means Lilac or one of the other cats darted in here and either stepped on the mouse or stood on the keyboard.”

  Lilac heard her name and ran, trotting into the room. With one powerful push of her back legs, she jumped from the floor to the keyboard. A loud series of beeps began.

  “You monkey,” Katherine admonished, “have you been surfing the Web?”

  Lilac rubbed her throat on the corner of the flat-screen monitor.

  “Amazing,” Colleen observed.

  “My cats are very smart,” Katherine said proudly. “But they’re not computer literate.”

  Colleen got up and said, “I’m off to call Mum. Pleasant dreams.”

  “See you tomorrow,” Katherine said as she logged off the Internet. Abby appeared from the back of the monitor. With her right paw, she clicked the mouse. Katherine picked up the Abyssinian and said, “Don’t let Colleen see you do that. She’ll want to enter you in an amazing pet contest.”

  Chapter Nine

  Katherine was sleeping in a deep, comatose state. She dreamed she was planting flowers in the garden beside the carriage house. Vivian and Patricia Marston stood behind her instructing her about what to do. Great Aunt Orvenia brought out glasses of lemonade and said Katherine needed to take the seeds out of the package before planting. Everyone was happy.

  A heavy weight landed on Katherine’s chest and abruptly disconnected the dream. “Ouch,” Katherine muttered. A cat scurried noisily out of the room.

  It’s so dark, Katherine thought. She rea
ched over and turned on the bedside lamp and noticed that none of the cats was in the room. Great, she thought. They’re probably annoying Colleen by scratching on her door, or engaged in all manner of feline mischief throughout the house.

  She put on her robe and flipped the switch to the overhead chandelier. She squinted across the hall and noticed the bathroom door was ajar. She could see a sliver of light coming from the side of the door. She tapped lightly on the door. Katherine pushed the door open and hurried inside to find Colleen draped over the bathtub.

  “What’s wrong?” Katherine asked.

  The four cats silently sat on the bathroom counter, leaning over the edge and peering down at the prostrate woman on the floor below.

  “I’m so sick,” Colleen said faintly.

  “Let’s get you back to bed,” Katherine said.

  “No,” Colleen protested. “I’m sick to my stomach.”

  “I’ll get something to put by your bed. You’ve got to get under the covers. It’s freezing in here.”

  “I feel so dizzy. I keep retching and retching and all I can see are those poppy seeds.”

  “Dammit, the salad dressing must have been spoiled,” Katherine said.

  Colleen began retching again.

  Katherine touched Colleen’s forehead. “You feel incredibly hot.”

  “I’m burning up and my heart is racing a mile a minute.”

  “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

  Katherine retrieved her cell phone and tapped in 911. “I’ve got an emergency. I think my friend has food poisoning. Where is the nearest hospital?”

  “Want us to send an ambulance?” the man’s voice drawled.

  “No, just give me the number of the City Hospital.”

  “You could have called directory assistance for that,” he said smugly. “But I’ll give it to you anyway.” He gave the telephone number to Katherine. She hung up and entered the number. The hospital operator gave her directions. She rushed back to check on Colleen, who was still sprawled over the bathtub.

  “I think I’m dying,” she said feebly. “I was in my room and a monk appeared and told me I was going to die,” she slurred.

  “This is nonsense,” Katherine said. “You’re delirious.” She took off her robe and threw it over Colleen. “I’m going to throw something on, get the car started and then I’m coming up for you.”

  Katherine hastened down the stairs and grabbed her winter coat off the Eastlake hall tree. She put it on as she ran out the side door. She jammed the key in the ignition, but the car didn’t respond. The dashboard indicators remained dark. She tried again; the starter wouldn’t turn over. She tried a third time; no response. “Dammit,” she cursed. She ran back into the house, grabbed a flashlight and returned to the Toyota. She popped the hood and took a quick look to discover that someone had stolen her battery. She let the hood slam shut, called 911 again, and this time requested an ambulance. Within a few minutes, an ambulance pulled into the drive and two attendants got out. Katherine met them at the side door.

  “Through this room and up the stairs,” Katherine directed.

  The two attendants supported Colleen down the stairs. They lifted her up into the ambulance and made her lie down on the gurney.

  “Listen, my car won’t start. Can I ride with you?” Katherine asked one of the attendants.

  “Sure thing,” the closest one said.

  When the driver started to back out the driveway, he yelled back, “Which hospital?”

  “The one in the city,” Katherine answered.

  “But that’s farther away. There’s a hospital just over the bridge.”

  “I didn’t know. Okay, let’s go there.”

  The driver turned on the flashing lights and they sped out of Erie.

  “How are you feeling now?” Katherine asked Colleen.

  “Horrible,” she moaned.

  The ambulance pulled in front of the Emergency Room and a nurse met them at the door.

  “Number Two is available,” the nurse directed.

  The ambulance attendants lifted the gurney out of the bus and wheeled Colleen into the small bay. The two of them gently put her on the hospital bed. As they left, Colleen and Katherine thanked them.

  “So what seems to be the problem?” the nurse asked.

  “I can’t stop retching,” Colleen said. “One minute I’m freezing, and the next minute I’m burning up.”

  A young, handsome doctor arrived and began asking Colleen questions. She began by saying she woke up with the chills, and then became very dizzy.

  “What time was that?” he asked.

  “I’m not sure. Maybe two or three in the morning.”

  “Well, it’s five a.m. now,” he said glancing at his watch.

  “Doctor,” Katherine interrupted. “Excuse me.”

  “Who are you?”

  “I’m Colleen’s friend. I think she has food poisoning. We were at the Erie Hotel last night . . .,”

  “Oh, that’s pretty unlikely,” he interrupted. “I’ve lived here all my life and believe me, no one has contracted food poisoning from the Erie Hotel.”

  “I don’t mean any disrespect, Sir, but to me she’s exhibiting signs of acute food poisoning.”

  “And Ma’am, are you a doctor?”

  “No, I’m not,” Katherine said, surprised by his curtness.

  “Then quite frankly, I think you should reserve judgment until you’ve graduated from medical school, and then we can have this conversation,” the doctor said abruptly. He turned back to Colleen and said in a different tone of voice, “Your pupils are a little bit dilated, but that could be attributed to the excitement.”

  He began to examine Colleen. He looked in her mouth. He felt her stomach. “Does it hurt here?”

  “Oh, no,” Colleen said. “I think I’m going to get sick.”

  The nurse quickly handed Colleen a blue plastic bag.

  “There’s a stomach flu going around,” the doctor explained. “I think you’ve caught it. I’m going to order a med to help you relax, and also something for your nausea. I’ll have the nurse hook up an IV.”

  “But, why? I hate needles,” Colleen said weakly.

  “So we can get some fluids in you right away. Also administering medicine via IV is the quickest way to stop you from throwing up. Okay,” he said, smiling. “I’ll check on you in a little while.” He left the bay without looking at Katherine.

  “Wow, I guess he bit my head off,” Katherine whispered to the nurse.

  The nurse shrugged and then said to Colleen, “I wouldn’t worry, young lady. This bug usually doesn’t last but forty-eight hours. You should be up and about soon enough.”

  “My plane back to New York leaves in a few days. I hope I’m able to make the flight.”

  “Let’s not worry about it now,” Katherine said.

  The nurse finished her IV preparations and said to Katherine, “You might as well go home. She’ll be here a minimum of four hours.”

  “No, I’m good. I’ll stay with her.”

  “Katz, you don’t have to,” Colleen objected.

  “Okay. I’ll go home, feed the cats, and then come back. Not sure how, considering my car wouldn’t start earlier. Nurse, is there a car service here? I need a lift back to Erie.”

  “Not that I know of, but if you want to wait a half hour, I can drive you home. I live in Erie, too.”

  “That would be great.”

  “Just sit in the waiting room and I’ll come get you when my shift ends.”

  “Is that okay with you?” Katherine asked Colleen.

  “Please check on me before you leave. I think I’ll just go to sleep for a while.”

  “I’ll let you rest.”

  Katherine made her way to the waiting area, picked a chair, and quickly nodded off. Within thirty minutes the nurse came in, tapped her on the shoulder and said she’d pull her car out front. Before Katherine left the hospital, she quickly checked on Colleen, who was fast asleep. Out
side, the nurse pulled up and Katherine got in.

  “Oh, I’m Mary Collins, by the way,” the nurse said.

  “I’m Katherine Kendall. I’m pleased to meet you.”

  “So where in Erie do you live?” she asked, pulling out of the hospital’s parking lot.

  “512 Lincoln Street.”

  “512 Lincoln Street,” Mary said excitedly. “Do you mean the Colfax mansion?”

  “Yes, I just moved there on Sunday.”

  “Are you related to Mrs. Colfax?” Mary asked.

  “She was my great aunt on my mother’s side.”

  “I was so surprised to hear she had passed away,” Mary said, stopping the car, then pulling out into the main highway.

  “How do you mean?” Katherine asked, curiously.

  “She was such a spry old lady. I went to church with her. The last time I saw her, we were decorating tables for our annual bazaar. Your aunt bustled and fussed around and decorated more tables than I did, and I’m fifty years younger. A week later she was gone.”

  “That’s odd,” Katherine said suspiciously. “Someone told me a few days ago that my great aunt’s health had deteriorated toward the end of her life, so much so that she was virtually housebound.”

  “Heavens, no,” Mary said. “She was one spunky old gal.”

  They crossed the bridge and were heading down the hill to the town. They rode in silence the rest of the way.

  * * * *

  It was close to six in the morning when Katherine walked in the door. She went into the atrium, picked up the house phone, and dialed Mark Dunn. She thought he might recommend the name of a good mechanic with a nearby garage. When his answering machine picked up, she hung up, remembering that he was out-of-town attending a seminar. She found Cokey Cokenberger’s business card in the pile of other cards on the curio cabinet and dialed his number. The phone rang two times and Katherine quickly put down the receiver, realizing that it was really early, and Cokey could still be sleeping. She’d have to be patient and call later.

  But Colleen’s mother would be up by now, she thought. She dialed Mrs. Murphy’s number.

  Colleen’s mother answered on the first ring. “Good morning,” she said cheerily.

  “Mum. This is Katz,” she said solemnly.

  “How are you? Is everything okay?” Mrs. Murphy asked, beginning to sound worried.