Calamity Jane 6: The Hide and Horn Saloon (A Calamity Jane Western)

by J. T. Edson

  ‘And I’m in no mood to even try!’ Wanda said shortly. ‘I’ve been working out like a god-damned nigger ever since I got up!’

  ‘Who was it?’ Wallace asked, feeling sure the disembarking passengers must be of importance to have aroused such a display of interest on the part of the peace officer.

  ‘Poker Alice, Joe Brambile and Pappy Maverick,’ Bowman named, although a frown had come to his face at the chilling response from the red head. ‘It seems they’re some of the gambling big wheels who’ve been invited to sit in on a high stake game Madam Bulldog’s going to hold later in the week.’

  ‘I hope they take her for every god-damned thin red dime she’s got!’ Wallace spat out viciously, knowing he could not have attracted even three such prominent players to join him in a game of any kind.

  ‘Which wouldn’t do a thing to help us get the Hide back!’ Wanda pointed out sarcastically and held out her hands. ‘Here, Stevie, take off the gloves. I’ve done enough for the time being!’

  ‘Sure, Wan’,’ the trainer assented. ‘You done real good!’

  ‘Good Christ!’ Bowman ejaculated, staring at the bandages around the hands which were exposed by the removal of the gloves. ‘Have you hurt yourself?’

  ‘Of course not!’ the red head snorted, starting to don a thick robe without waiting for the white wrapping to be removed. They’re to help protect my knuckles.’

  ‘Is that all?’ the sheriff sniffed, disappointed at the concealment of an attire he considered to be more erotically stimulating than the sight of Wanda completely naked. ‘Anyways, there’s something else.’

  ‘What would that be?’ the red head demanded impatiently, when the information was not forthcoming. She found the peace officer’s habit of making it necessary to seek an answer more annoying than usual.

  ‘I’ve just got word from a feller in Austin who owes me favors,’ Bowman explained. ‘He says Stanton Howard will be here on Thursday.’

  ‘Stanton Howard!’ Wanda breathed.

  ‘He’s the one most fancied to replace Davis as Governor,’ the sheriff explained, electing to treat the words of the red head as a question rather than an exclamation registering interest.

  ‘I know very well who Stanton Howard is, thank you!’ Wanda snapped, but the sight of annoyance coming to the face of the peace officer struck a warning note. Realizing she would need to retain his support in her planned retrieval of the Hide and Horn Saloon, she forced herself to adopt a more conciliatory tone as she continued, ‘I’m sorry, Lloyd. It’s all this goddamned exercise making me irritable.’

  ‘I understand, Wan’,’ the sheriff declared, showing he was mollified by the apology.

  ‘So Stanton Howard’s coming here, is he?’ the red head said pensively.

  ‘Yes. He’s trying to call in on as many towns as possible before he takes office.’

  ‘Is he going to Tennyson?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Can you persuade him to, if he isn’t?’

  ‘Persuade him?’ Bowman repeated, with no great enthusiasm, thinking of how his supporters in Garnett might regard such behavior on his part. ‘Why should I do that?’

  ‘For me!’ Wanda purred rather than merely replied.

  ‘Will having him go there help you to get back the Hide?’ the sheriff asked, the two words having been charged with the kind of promise which past experience had taught him was of a most satisfying nature.

  ‘It could help,’ the red head claimed. ‘Bulldog’s been riling some folks, Moe’s sent word to tell me. They didn’t take kindly to her gunning down Norman and Lang, even though it was in self-defense, and’re less happy now she’s made wolf bait out of McDonald and two fellers she reckons were figuring on stealing a wagon load of her gear. They say so much killing’s going to get the town a bad name.’

  ‘And so it is, by god!’ the sheriff asserted, but his response was not caused by any sense of responsibility for the maintaining of law and order throughout Sand County. Not only did he find the possibility of violence satisfying, as it could have an adverse effect upon a claim for the transference of the status of county seat to Tennyson, but he believed such an attitude would further ingratiate himself with the beautiful and, when in the mood, sexually forthcoming woman. ‘And I can’t say that I’m any too pleased to have her shooting up my bailiwick, comes to that.’

  ‘Yes, Moe says she’s getting real unpopular in some circles,’ Wanda commented, showing no sign of having ever heard Bowman’s declaration, much less been impressed by it. ‘And I aim to make her even more unpopular.’

  ‘How?’ the sheriff asked and the other two men showed an equal interest.

  ‘By having damned near every man in town watching her instead of waiting to meet Stanton Howard when he arrives,’ the red head replied, extending and gesturing with her hands to Good. As he was removing the bandages, she explained what she had in mind and finished, ‘Can you be sure to get him there on Friday afternoon just before four, Lloyd?’

  ‘I believe I can,’ Bowman replied. ‘He’ll be wanting to meet as many people as he can and, as I’m willing to bet he knows about those bastards in Tennyson wanting to become the county seat, he’ll probably be meaning to go anyhow.’

  ‘Will you make sure he comes?’ Wanda demanded.

  ‘If it’s mortally possible, I will!’ the sheriff promised. ‘But aren’t you taking a big chance?’

  ‘Not if Stevie’s as good as he’s told me he is,’ the red head stated with confidence. ‘In fact, could be I’ll have to take things easy so it’ll last long enough for what I want to happen.’

  ‘Regardless of what I thought, that Higgins chappie wasn’t exaggerating after all, Charlie,’ declared the shapely, beautiful, blonde and elegantly dressed Englishwoman who went by the name, ‘Poker Alice’, as she looked around the main barroom of the Hide and Horn Saloon with approval. Although she and the two men with whom she had entered had arrived in Tennyson the previous morning, they had delayed paying a visit to their intended hostess in a high stake poker game until just after sundown on Wednesday. ‘This is quite impressive, darling.’

  ‘It is,’ Madam Bulldog agreed, her manner expressing a friendliness which matched that of the three distinguished visitors. ‘And I hope you and Madame Mustache keep that in mind when you come together.’

  ‘My dear, that was all in the past and we really are good friends now,’ Poker Alice replied, thinking of her first meeting with the other lady gambler and the fight which had ensued, as she knew it was to this that the buxom blonde was referring. ‘Oh, by the by, do you know the owner of the Fortescue Hotel?’

  ‘He’s a friend of mine,’ Madam confirmed, hoping there was no complaint about the accommodation and service.

  ‘Don’t look so alarmed, darling, it’s a charming place,’ Poker Alice reassured. ‘But you might suggest he hires some bell-boys. Why it almost seemed I would have to carry my bags to my room.’ [30]

  The exercise would have done you good,’ Madam claimed with a smile. ‘Except, knowing you, I’d bet you didn’t wind up having to.’

  ‘And you’d be right, dear lady,’ asserted Joseph Brambile. Tall, slender, handsome, although no longer young, he dressed like a very successful Southern plantation owner from the days when cotton was king. ‘Miz Alice had every man in the place close to fighting for the right, privilege even, of helping her.’

  ‘There were so many of them so eager, Joe and I got most of ours toted up along of Alice’s,’ went on Abraham “Pappy” Maverick, who was tall, sturdily build, white haired and clad in the fashion of a prosperous professional gambler. ‘What’s the chance of finding some action around town, Charlie gal?’

  ‘Action, Pappy?’ Madam queried.

  ‘Don’t tell me to try the Barnhof, please,’ Maverick requested. ‘I was in there last night and it was so easy taking that bunch I was up against, it was all I could do to keep awake at the table.’

  ‘You could try the Longhorn,’ the buxom
blonde suggested, it being considered courtesy for those playing in the kind of game she intended to run to avoid competing against one another until the session commenced. ‘But I don’t think you’ll find anybody much better down there. Anyways, it’s great to see you all and I’m looking forward to getting sat around a table ag—!’

  ‘Is something wrong?’ Poker Alice inquired, as her hostess brought the comment to a halt and stared at the main entrance. Turning her gaze in the same direction, she studied the group of people who were entering and went on, ‘Is she an entertainer you’ve hired along with her admirers, Charlie, or are they a delegation?’

  ‘She’s not an entertainer, but they could be a delegation,’ Madam replied, wondering what had brought the wife of the former owner, Leo Wallace, Moses Stern, Joshua Gilmore and several of his cronies from the ‘sporting’ crowd to the Hide and Horn Saloon. Her questioning of the wounded would-be robber had failed to establish any connections with the red head and she was inclined to believe she was in error suspecting complicity from that direction. ‘But I reckon we’ll soon find out!’

  ‘Is it going to be of a private nature?’ Brambile asked, unbuttoning his jacket to offer unimpeded access to the revolver carried in a spring retention shoulder holster on his left side.

  ‘Not as far as the red haired lady is concerned,’ Maverick commented, right hand making what appeared to be a casual gesture which, nevertheless, moved the flap of his black cutaway coat clear of the ivory butt of his low tied Army Colt.

  ‘In which case, darlings,’ Poker Alice continued, allowing the neck of her reticule to open and permit easy admittance of her right hand if the Remington Double Derringer reposing therein should be required. ‘I don’t think it amiss if we consider it isn’t private for us, either.’

  ‘Good evening, Mrs. Higgins,’ Madam greeted, having advanced a few steps in front of her friends after nodding her gratitude for their promised support. Glancing around as she came to a halt before the red head, she decided there were many other allies present if the need arose. ‘And to what do I owe the honor of this visit?’

  ‘I don’t think Maxie would want you to go on running the Hide for him, the way you’ve been gunning men down,’ Wanda Higgins replied, speaking in tones calculated to carry all around the room. ‘So I’ve come to tell you to get out.’

  ‘Now why would Maxie care how I run the Hide?’ the buxom blonde asked, aware that everybody present was listening to the conversation.

  ‘Oh come on now!’ the red head scoffed, her manner derisive. ‘You and I both know he only sent you here pretending you’d won the Hide from him, so’s his legally married wife and his kin would leave it all to you and him.’

  ‘Oh come on now yourself!’ Madam countered, employing a similar tone for the first four words. ‘You know you’re lying in your teeth when you say that.’

  ‘I’m what?’

  ‘Lying in your teeth!’

  ‘God damn it, you lousy fat old whore!’ Wanda screeched. ‘I’ll—!’

  ‘You’ll do what?’ Madam challenged, making her voice as calm as the words addressed to her had been strident.

  Watching and listening to the exchange, Wallace felt a sense of alarm which was shared by Gilmore. Each was all too aware of how quickly the temper of the red head could erupt into physical violence. With that in mind, they were hoping she could keep it under control and achieve the purpose for which they had come. Glancing around, they realized that the blonde could count upon the active support of far more people than they had at their disposal and, should the situation turn hostile, they did not care to contemplate the possible effect upon themselves.

  ‘I know you’ve been telling everybody how you ran me out of town—’ Wanda began.

  ‘You don’t know any such thing,’ Madam corrected. ‘Now let’s both of us cut out this mouth-flapping horse shit and get around to what you’re really here for.’

  ‘You told everybody how you called me down in Lawyer Scrope’s office and I—’

  ‘Get to the point, pronto, or get the hell out of here!’

  ‘You reckoned then you could beat the hell out of me!’

  ‘Those weren’t my exact words. But, comes push for shove, I reckon I can.’

  ‘Is that so?’ Wanda cried, delighted at having been presented so easily with the opportunity she required.

  ‘I’m satisfied it’s so,’ Madam claimed, although puzzled by the way in which the conversation was developing. No matter how low her regard for the red head, she could not believe the intention was to provoke a tooth and claw fight between them. ‘Have you a mind to try and prove different right now?’

  ‘If you mean, am I willing to brawl with you like the common, tail-peddling slut you are,’ the red head replied. ‘The answer is, “no”. But, should you have the guts to meet me in the ring at the Barnhof, with boxing gloves on, then we’ll soon enough find out who’s the better woman!’

  ‘In the ring,’ the blonde repeated, listening to the rumble of excited comment arising as the suggestion was heard by the other occupants of the room. ‘With boxing gloves?’

  ‘Does the idea scare you?’ Wanda mocked.

  ‘Not particularly. But what do you expect to get out of it?’

  ‘This saloon!’

  ‘And what’re you putting up against my saloon?’

  ‘Putting up against it?’ the red asked, frowning.

  ‘Your husband put it up against ten thousand of my money when he lost it to me,’ Madam explained. ‘How about you?’

  ‘I’ll put up the same!’ Wanda promised. Although she was far from destitute she had nowhere near such a large sum—but she was so confident of victory she wanted to leave no avenue for her intended victim to back out.

  ‘Then I’ll take you on!’ the blonde declared, knowing there was no other choice open to her after so public a discussion. Having already gained a reputation locally for her toughness, she would be unable to continue running the Hide and Horn Saloon—particularly in the way she envisaged—if she refused. However, suspecting the truth about the red head’s financial position, she went on, ‘But I want another two thousand dollars to boot. [31] We both bring that much and it’s held at the side of the ring. Winner takes it all.’

  ‘All right,’ Wanda agreed, after a brief pause for thought. She could afford that share of the purse and felt sure that the blonde’s suggestion of having it was merely intended to persuade her to withdraw from the fight. ‘That’ll be just so much more for me to win.’

  ‘Which remains to be seen,’ Madam answered. ‘Do you want to get at it straight away?’

  ‘Certainly not,’ the red head refused. ‘For one thing, the ring isn’t ready. Unless you show yellow and don’t come, we’ll meet on Friday afternoon at half past three.’

  ‘Have it your way,’ the blonde assented, although wondering why that particular time had been selected. ‘Friday, at half past three in the afternoon, it is!’

  Sixteen – There’ll Be a Riot If It’s Stopped

  ‘Gentlemen … my apologies. Ladies and gentlemen!’ Joshua Gilmore bellowed, making the revision as he saw Poker Alice and the black haired, beautiful, equally well dressed, buxom Madame Mustache—who had arrived in Tennyson that morning—as well as several saloon-girls in the large crowd gathered around the boxing ring. Clearly enjoying to the full his role of introducing the event which had attracted the attention of everybody in the town and surrounding area, he went on, ‘Presenting, in a bout of fisticuffs! Of three minute rounds, with a minute recovery time between each! Lasting until one lady cannot beat a count of ten! For a purse of four thousand dollars and ownership of the Hide and Horn Saloon. In the red corner, WANDA HIGGINS. In the blue corner, MADAM BULLDOG!’

  Having achieved her purpose in persuading the buxom blonde to meet her in the boxing ring on Wednesday evening, the red head had left the making of arrangements for the fight to Leo Wallace and the blacksmith. Knowing what was expected of them, the latter having receiv
ed his instructions when she had returned from a hurried journey to Garnett, they had done all they could to ensure there was no way in which the new owner of the saloon could avoid participating in the fight. If she should do so, it had been ascertained she would forfeit it by default. In the latter event, even if she tried to renege on the agreement, public opinion would drive her out of Tennyson.

  In addition to stipulating the conditions under which the event was to take place, such as the length of each round and rest period and the only way victory could be attained, the two men had suggested Doctor Henry Connel as referee, due to his being known to have acted in this capacity elsewhere. There had been two reasons for making the, on the surface, unusual appointment. Regardless of being on better terms with Madam than their principal, he could be relied upon to act with complete impartiality; albeit offering the chance to imply favoritism should he have to make judgments on the behavior of the blonde. Furthermore, while Wanda would have the expert seconding of Stephen Good, it would prevent the blonde from receiving the attention of one who, by virtue of his medical skill, would have served her very well in that duty. Aware of how important such competent attention could be, the conspirators had been confident that Madam would not be seconded by anybody with near the ability of the professional trainer in such vital matters as dealing with cuts and supplying restoratives between the rounds.

  Aware of the criticism caused in certain circles by her having to defend herself, to the extent of taking the lives of other human beings, Madam had realized that what she was being compelled to do would be considered as probably even less acceptable behavior. It was almost certain to spoil whatever improved impression had been formed by the Ladies Guild For Civic Betterment, for example. Therefore, she would have preferred the affair to have received as little publicity outside the saloon as possible. Being a realist, she had felt positive this would not prove to be the case.

  In fact, the news was already spreading while the conditions of the bout were being settled!