The Scars Of Life (The Working Girls Book 4)

by K. L. Humphreys

  Stef had Carter six weeks ago, I love that boy. He’s such a handsome boy, just seeing him brightens up my day. Pen is at Stef’s house every day, as much as she acts as though she doesn’t want to be a nan, she sure acts like one. She loves Carter and if she could she’d watch Carter every day for Stef, I’d say she’d go toe-to-toe with James’ mum with who would babysit.

  There’s pounding on my door as I step out of my bedroom, I spot the outline of Penelope through the glass of my front door, she got here quicker than I thought. I rush to the door as she knocks again, as soon as I open it, she looks me over. Her eyes gazing up and down me, I hold the door open and she walks in. She’s not yet said a word and I’m so scared, it’s like I have a hand at my throat and it’s squeezing it.

  Her arms go around me as soon as I close the front door, her arms strong and comforting.

  “Pen, I’m so scared, I have no idea what to do,” I whisper, and her arms convulse around me. “And Richie’s changed his number, I’m all alone.” My tears flow yet again.

  “Nat, what’s going on? You’re shaking like a leaf.” She pulls back but holds onto my shoulders, she looks so worried.

  “I messed up, Pen. God, I’m so stupid.” My mouth dries, and I try to swallow past the lump in my throat. “Pen, I’m pregnant.”

  “Jesus, Natalie!” she exclaims, placing her hand over her heart. “You had me worried there for a moment.”

  “Pen, I’m having a breakdown here. Why are you acting as though everything’s okay?” I’m really confused as to what I’m going to do. I’ve so many thoughts running through my head. The main one is how am I going to do this alone?

  “Because everything is going to be okay. You’re pregnant Nat, not dying.” She looks at me as though I’ve lost my mind, not only that she’s talking to me like I’m a child. “Come on, let’s have a cuppa and we can talk about what’s going to happen, what you want to do and the next step.”

  “Next step, Pen? I have no idea what to do next. Do I go to a doctor? I’m so out of my depth.” I hate feeling this way, almost as if I’m out of control. It’s like I’m looking down on myself and viewing this as an outsider. I have no way to take hold of the situation.

  She places her arm around my shoulders and leads me to the kitchen. “Sit down, Nat, I’ll put the kettle on.”

  I sit down just as Pen spots the letter. “You still have this?” she asks picking it up. Her face filled with shock. Of course I bloody still have it. I can’t throw it away. Just the thought of doing so has my heart pounding. I don’t answer her, I just stare at the wall as she pours us tea.

  “Okay, so you’re wondering what to do next?” She places a cup in front of me and takes a seat opposite me.

  “Yeah, I have no idea what to do, I mean, I’ve never done this before.” I wrap my hands around the cup, the heat from it seeping through and warming them.

  She nods. “Hmmm, do you want to keep it?”

  I shrug. “I have no idea, hell I’m not sure what I want.”

  “Okay, so how far along do you think you are?” She pulls out her phone and shows me the calendar.

  Something I can tell her for definite “I’m nine weeks.” I bring the cup to my mouth and gently blow.

  “Okay, so nine weeks.” She repeats my words, and her face contorts in confusion. “Wasn’t that when Richie left?”

  Of course, she’d remember exactly when he left. “Yes, it’s what hurt the most. He did exactly the same thing. I sleep with him and he vanishes.”

  Holding up her hand, she tilts her head. “You two were dating for more than a month, are you telling me that you only slept with him the night before he left?” She hasn’t done a great job at hiding her disbelief.

  “Yes, Penelope, that’s what I’m telling you. I didn’t want the same thing to happen again, it was what I was worried about. Turns out I was right to worry.” I sip on my tea, yet again kicking myself for not trusting my instincts.

  “Shit, he’s an arsehole.” She curses him quietly, and I’m grateful. “Are you going to tell him?”

  Placing my cup down I wring my hands together. “I tried already. I called him this morning, I wanted to tell him the truth although I doubt he’d come back. It doesn’t matter, he’s changed his number. I have no way of getting hold of him.”

  “Do you want to tell him?” She asks. If I say yes then she won’t stop until she finds him. “Does that mean you’re keeping it?”

  Do I want to keep it? I’m unsure. “I’m so confused, if I do keep it, what’s going to happen with college and work? I’m alone and have no idea what to do.”

  She taps her fingers against the table, the noise is bloody annoying. “Look, missy, you are not alone! What am I, chopped liver? No, I’m here no matter what you decide to do. If you want to have an abortion, I’ll be there to hold your hand and make sure you’re okay. If you want to keep it, I’ll be here for you every step of the way. No one is rushing you. You still have a little while to decide.”

  I’m choked up with tears. “I love you, Pen.” That’s all I can say, she’s truly my guardian angel. She’s always here for me whenever I need her.

  She brings her cup to her lips and takes a sip, her lips smacking together when she pulls the cup away. “You okay to go to college today?”

  “Yeah, it’s going to take my mind off things.” I think it’s going to be the best thing, carry on as normal until I come to a decision.

  “Good, I’m going to call the doctor and get you an appointment, he can talk you through everything. It’ll be good for you to have all the information before making a decision.” She takes my hand. “You’re going to be okay, Nat. Either way, you’re going to be okay.”

  I squeeze her hand, grateful for her support.

  “Finish your tea and get ready, I’ll drop you at college.” She tells me as she brings her cup to the sink. “I’ll call the doctor for an appointment while you’re getting ready.” She grabs her phone and walks past me, gently squeezing my shoulder on her way to the sitting room.

  I drink up while she’s on the phone; she talks really poshly when she’s on the phone. I go to the sink and wash both mine and Pen’s cups. Once, I’ve tidied the kitchen, I rush to the bedroom and grab my jumper and bag. I’ve to be at college in less than forty-five minutes, I’m probably going to be late, since traffic in Central London is a bloody nightmare.

  “Pen, you ready?” I call as I walk into the hall, picking my trainers off the floor and putting them on.

  “Yeah, I’m ready,” she says appearing in the hall. “Have you got everything you need?”

  I lift my bag. “Yeah, I’ve got everything.”

  “Good, come on let’s get you to college. You’ve an appointment with the doctor on Friday evening,” she says opening the front door.

  I nod and lock up the house and walk to her car in silence, it’s not an awkward silence but it’s annoying. I want to ask her what she thinks but I’m not sure if she’ll tell me in case it sways my judgement.

  “Pen, what do you think I should do?” My voice is stronger than it has been all morning.

  “Nat, what I think shouldn’t factor into this, it’s your choice and yours alone.” Her phone rings but she quickly ends the call.

  “It’s not going to affect my decision, I want your honesty. You’re the only person that I trust implicitly.” I’m swaying towards keeping it, but I’m not sure if that will be the right thing to do.

  “I love that I’m the person you trust. Nat, I honestly can’t tell you my opinion because I don’t even have one. A part of me wants you to keep it, for you to have that love that I felt with Annalisa when I held her the first time but another part of me thinks that you have your whole life ahead of you, I’ve lived through the struggles of being a young parent and basically bringing your child up by yourself. It’s tough and hard. I want you to succeed in life and having a baby right now may jeopardize that,” she says honestly.

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m
thinking too. I’m swaying towards keeping it, but I’m not sure if I can raise a baby. I want to finish college and become a hairdresser, it's been my dream for as long as I can remember. Is it realistic to be a mum and do that? That’s what I have to think about.”

  Pen smiles, and I return it. “Nat, if that’s what you're hesitant about, I can tell you now that it’s realistic. If you’re determined enough, you can do anything you want. You want to do both, do it. I’ll be here to babysit while you’re at college and work.”

  “It’s that easy?” I ask sceptical, it’s almost too easy.

  Pen laughs. “Nothing about having a baby is easy. It’s going to be hard and it’s going to be tiring but when you hold that baby in your arms, you’ll instantly know that it’s worth it.”

  “Thank you. I have a lot to think about. I’ll talk to the doctor on Friday and see what she says before making any decisions. I don’t want to rush into a decision and then realise when it’s too late that I made the wrong one.” I’m not worried about deciding to keep it and then regretting it, because I honestly don’t think that could happen. However, if I have an abortion and regret it, that would kill me.

  “You’ve got a wise head on your shoulders Nat. Whatever decision you come to will be one that you’re confident in making. Just remember that if you ever need to talk, I’m here. I’m proud of you Nat, you’ve come a long way since we first met.” A smirk graces her lips; no doubt she’s thinking about it.

  I laugh. “I wasn’t very nice.” That’s an understatement to say the least.

  Her eyebrows raise, and her mouth opens in shock. “That’s saying it nicely. Natalie you called me a paedophile.”

  I press my lips together to stop my laughter from bubbling out. “What did you expect me to do? You wanted to bring me with you, I had no idea who you were. For all I knew you were some weirdo who wanted to keep me as a pet.”

  “Pet?” Her smirk has me regretting saying that word. “Oh no darling, you aren’t my type! Besides my subs aren’t my pets.”

  I groan, not wanting to think about her in that world. I know that Pen’s a Domme, she told me when I was recuperating all those months ago. I’ve never judged her, and I never will, I’ve witnessed her at the club with Grant and it’s something I never want to see again. It’s like watching your parents have sex. So wrong on all levels.

  “Pen, you were weird.”

  She hits me on the shoulder. “Pot, meet kettle.”

  “Whatever, you’re a weirdo. Besides, if I had come with you then, I would have run for sure.” I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to make any kind of decision when she found me first. I thought the world was out to get me and everyone would hurt me.

  She pulls up outside the college and I look at the time on her dashboard, I still have three minutes before college starts. “I’m forever grateful that I didn’t give up on finding you.”

  “I am too.” I give her a smile. “I had better go, I don’t want to be late.” I grab my bag and get out of the car. I walk around to Pen’s window and she unwinds it. “Thank you for today, Pen, I’ll see you later?”

  She nods. “Yes, Grant won’t be finished until nine tonight, so we’ll do dinner and a movie?”

  “Definitely. You cooking?” I laugh as I ask, knowing full well that Pen doesn’t cook if she doesn’t have to.

  She gives me a dirty look. “God, no. I’ll order us something. I’ll be at your house at half six. See you tonight Nat.”

  “Catch you later.” I wave goodbye and follow the car as she drives off.

  I’m not alone, as much as I sometimes feel as though I am, I’m not. Penelope will always be by my side.

  Chapter 20

  Ten Weeks Later

  It’s been ten weeks since I discovered I was pregnant and so much has changed. I’m going strong with college, I’ve only two more weeks to do in this course. I’m loving it far more than I imagined, I’m going to take a break from college until after the baby is born. I’ve decided to focus on the baby, once he or she is six months old I’ll go back. I’m still going to work in Margaret’s salon until I’m closer to my due date. She said I can work four days a week there while I’m not in college.

  Penelope has taken over everything, she’s making sure that I’ll have everything that I could ever need and a whole lot more. For the first couple of weeks after I found out, she was at my house everyday checking up on me and making sure that I knew that I wasn’t alone. I honestly don’t think that I could have gotten this far without her. She’s kept me sane on the days that I’ve thought I wouldn’t be a good mum, on the days that I’ve cried. She’s held my hand and calmed me down. Every day she messages me to make sure that I’m okay.

  I went to the doctor’s two days after finding out and spoke to him, he was very understanding and gave me every option available to me. I knew for sure that I wanted to keep my baby after leaving his office. Each and every day I’ve been looking forward to meeting him or her, I’m excited to finally find out what I’m having today. I had a scan at twelve weeks and everything looked really good, the baby looked healthy and I am too. There’s nothing I could ask more for than the both of us to be healthy, that’s the most important thing in this world.

  Day by day passes and every morning I wake up, my hands automatically go to my stomach. I talk to the baby and let him or her know that I’m here and I love them so much already and I’m looking forward to the day we meet. I look to the twelve-week scan picture that Pen got framed for me and I think about how truly lucky I am. I’m aware that there are people out there that struggle to get pregnant and that would do anything to experience what I do each and every day. I’m lucky because I have a support network, Penelope, Stefanie, Grant, James, and Charles.

  Charles has become my driver, Penelope didn’t think I should be riding the tube while I’m pregnant. Charles now brings me to and from college and work. He’s a lovely man and he’s told me all about his family, he has two daughters, one of which is eighteen and the other is sixteen. He and his wife have been together for over twenty years and the way he talks about her it’s clear that he loves her so very much. He’s told me that he’s been looking for Richie and my stepdad. I’m not sure how I’d react to seeing either of them, but Richie needs to be told about the baby and my stepdad can rot in hell for all I care.

  I’m finally strong enough to be able to say that, to think that. I wish that arsehole would die, better yet, die while he was in prison getting exactly what he deserves. I’m not hiding any longer, what he did, it ruined my life. He hurt me at a stage in my life that completely and utterly shattered me. I’m not saying that if he had done it when I was older my life wouldn’t be ruined, it would be but at the age of fourteen, I barely understood what was going on with my body and what he did made me break. I only survived because I had to.

  “Ready?” Charles asks, and I look at him. He’s sitting in my kitchen having a cup of tea, although calling this my kitchen is weird.

  Penelope bought me a house, she actually bought me a brand new one. She told me that I couldn’t bring a buggy up and down the steps every day it just wasn’t practical. I told her I’d manage but she has to do whatever it is she wants and I’m not complaining as this house is ten times bigger than the other one. It’s not in central London, instead it’s in south London and close to Pen and Grant.

  Grant, Charles, James, Damien, and Owen moved me two days ago, I wasn’t allowed to lift a thing. Thankfully the girls were with their partners, so I wasn’t bored. Stef and Penelope were directing everyone as to where everything should go while Katy and Saffron sat with me and asked loads of questions. Saffron is married to Damien and is Katy’s and Owen’s boss. Katy was a stripper and Owen a bouncer at Pleasure Palace, it’s also where Jess used to work, Owen is also her brother and he slept with Stef which Katy told me about. Katy is Owen’s girlfriend and she doesn’t find it weird that Stef and Owen are around each other, she’s seen them two together and it’s like a brot
her and sister relationship. I think that’s a bit weird but each to their own.

  I really like Katy, she’s my age and hasn’t long since lost her brother. He was stabbed, and her mum found his body. I cried when she told me about it, Stef had told me about it before, as Stef brought me to her birthday party a while ago. But hearing it first-hand, the raw emotion from Katy made me cry. I couldn’t imagine the pain that Katy and her family have been going through. She left Pleasure Palace a couple of months ago and started becoming a beautician, her and her friend Bailey are doing the course together. They’re even talking about opening up a salon, I think it’s a fantastic idea. I wish them the very best if they do indeed open one up. I’d be a client for sure.

  “I’m ready!” I smile, it’s like a permanent fixture on my face these days. The last time I was happy, was when I was with Richie, this is a different type of happy.

  “We’re to pick up Penelope on the way, she’s asked me to ask you if you’re sure that you want her there.” He smiles as Penelope’s asked this very same question about ten times already.

  “I’ll call her,” I tell him as I grab my phone. “Who else would I have here?”

  “Miss Adams, I have told her that countless times, she will not listen.” His lips pursed into a thin line.

  “Probably about the same amount of times as I’ve asked you to call me Natalie.” I stare at him, I hate being called Miss Adams, it grates on me and I think he does it on purpose.

  “I work for you, it’s professional.” He stands and brings his cup to the sink, I smile when he washes it, he has such good manners. I’ve told him before that he’s a guest in my house, he shouldn’t be cleaning.

  “Firstly, you work for Penelope, not me. Secondly, you’re in my kitchen washing dishes, I think we’ve crossed that professional line a long time ago. So, drop the Miss and start calling me Natalie.” I smirk at him; I really hope he drops it.