by Alison Mello
“I told you when I left that I wasn’t coming back to Boston. Nana, Aunt Kenderly, and Uncle Jasper are the only family I have left. Why would I leave my roots, my family, behind again? I want to spend as much time as I can with them. You are one of the few people I told about my fears of loss and commitment, and yet I committed to you. The second things got tough I was on my own.”
“I know and I’m sorry. I made a poor decision.”
“You’re damn right you did. You need to take your happy ass back to Boston where you belong and let me move on.” I pull my wallet from my purse, throw some bills on the table, then stand to leave, bumping into Mrs. Bennett as I do.
“Everything okay over here, Kenzie?” she questions, seeing the hurt in my eyes. I close them trying to gain some composure.
“Yes, Mrs. Bennett. This is my ex-boyfriend from Boston, Daniel. I was just telling him to get packing, because he’s not welcome here.” She steps aside for me to walk away, and that’s when I run into Dr. Bennett. I look over to see she’s blocked Daniel in.
“Are you okay, Kenzie?” he asks as I stare at Mrs. Bennett, who has her arms crossed over her chest.
She narrows her eyes at him. I hear her say, “How dare you. That poor girl is going through enough right now. A man she cares a great deal for was just deployed, and her nana is ill, and here you are, stirring up more trouble for her.”
“I care about her too, ma’am.”
“Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you sent her down here by herself to cope with her ill nana,” she says. He sighs. “I think you better get a move on. If you care about that girl, you’ll take yourself right on home and let her move on.”
He tosses more money on the table and walks past Dr. Bennett and I, not even making eye contact with me. Mrs. Bennett winks at me, and I give her a small smile.
“Y’all enjoy your dinner. I’m heading home to relax.”
“You have a good night, Kenzie,” Dr. Bennett says as I walk out of the restaurant.
When I arrive at home, the porch is still empty and all is quiet. I truly hope at this point that Daniel takes the hint and goes home. I really can’t take him being here any longer. I walk in, flicking on a small light as I make my way to my room. It’s early, but I want to be in comfortable clothes so I can relax in bed and watch some TV.
Once I’m settled, I can’t help but think. I curl up on my pillow trying to watch TV, but my mind keeps drifting to thoughts of Daniel and Remy. I do believe I loved Daniel at one point, but given my feelings for Remy, I wonder if it was really love, or maybe we were just got comfortable with each other and I was too blind to see it for what it was.
Chapter 19
Kenzie
It’s been three months since Remy left, and I’ve heard not one peep from him. I’ve developed a nice routine to keep busy between school and Nana. I did ask Mrs. Bennett to let him know that I’m waiting for him, and we can talk when he gets back. I’m just hoping he still wants me. Our time apart has made me realize that Nana was right. Instead of wasting time, worrying about getting hurt by him, I should have been spending as much time loving and caring for him as possible.
Today is Friday and it’s the last day of school before Christmas break. We took it pretty easy on the kids today. They did holiday activities and watched a movie. Now they’re packing up their desks to head home for the holidays, and I’m looking forward to the break. Nana isn’t doing well, and this is my chance to spend as much time with her as I can. She hasn’t remembered who I am without introduction in over a month, and it’s so hard to deal with. She’s eating less and less, and becoming frailer every day. When the bell finally rings I wish my kids happy holidays as they all run out the door to start their vacation.
I take a seat at my desk to finish up some last-minute grading, and check my email one last time before I head out the door myself. I’m in deep thought when I feel someone staring at me. I look up to see a very sad Mrs. Bennett in the door. I’m stung by the expression on her face, and tears start to well in my eyes. I start shaking my head. I want to say something, but words just won’t come out. She sees my panic and steps up to wrap me in a hug. “He’s been shot,” she says as tears run down her cheeks.
“What? How? Is he going to be okay?”
“He’s been evacuated. They say he’s going to make it, and as soon as he’s ready they’re shipping him home to recover.”
I’m trying to take deep, calming breaths. My fears are starting to sink in. This is why I can’t date a military man. I start looking everywhere but at Mrs. Bennett. Of course, she senses my panic. “Look at me, Kenzie,” she says, her voice soft and caring.
“I see the fear in your eyes, and you have a right to be scared. We all are. What you need to realize is the fear of loss is everywhere. He could have been injured in a car wreck. If you didn’t love or care for him, the fear wouldn’t be there.”
I sob as I finally admit to myself how I feel. “I think I loved him from the moment I saw him,” I say through my tears.
“And I believe it was the same for him, but you can’t let this fear rule you.”
“I know that now. I’ve spent the last three months regretting not spending more time with him before he left. I regret not telling him how I feel for him, and now my biggest fear is right in front of me, losing the chance to tell him.”
She wraps me in a hug again and says, “He’s a strong boy. He won’t give up that easy, trust me,” she says.
“Come on, have dinner with us tonight. Keaton is bringing Lilly to dinner, and Brooke will be home. Not sure if Dawson and his family are coming yet, but it’ll be nice to have everyone over, and you’ll get to see your friend.”
I give her a small smile and tell her, “Thank you.”
“No thanks needed. Dinner’s at six. I’ll see you then.”
I look down at my watch. “Perfect, I just have a few things to wrap up before I take off for break. I’ll see you at six.”
She walks out wiping the tears from her eyes, and I sit back down at my desk to finish up. I’m struggling to focus though because I realize she said they’re shipping him home and I can’t wait to find out when he will be here. I know he has to be healthy enough to travel and she didn’t say how bad his injuries were, so I have no clue what the timing will look like. I sigh, shaking off my thoughts. I have two more emails to answer and I need to finish so I can leave.
Once I’m done, I quickly clean up my desk, grab my stuff, and head out the door. It’s four-thirty and I want to run home to check the mail and change my clothes before dinner tonight.
***
I pull up to the Bennetts’ house and find Keaton’s truck is already in the driveway. I don’t know if Lilly is here because I didn’t get a chance to talk with her, so I don’t know if they were riding together or separately. I make my way to the door and before I can knock Brooke is there opening the door for me.
“Hey, Kenzie. How are you?” she asks, giving me a hug.
“I’m doing okay. How are you?” I question wondering if she’ll realize I’m referring to the situation with her brother.
I can tell she does when she gives me a tight smile. “I’m hanging in there. I’ll be happier when Remy is home and we can all stop worrying about him.”
I’m soon wrapped in a huge hug by my best friend. “I’ve missed you,” Lilly says. It’s been awhile since we’ve been able to hang out. Our schedules are so crazy between work, her dating Keaton, and me helping with Nana. We don’t get much time to ourselves.
“I’ve missed you too,” I say, rubbing her back.
“Are you okay?” she asks with a hand on either side of my face, her forehead pressed against mine.
I give her a small smile. “I’m doing okay. I’m worried about him, but I’m hopeful he’ll be home soon.”
Keaton wraps an arm around both of us and says, “We’re all worried, darling, but don’t you fret. He’ll be home before you know it.”
Mrs. Bennett comes into the room and announces, “Come on, y’all, dinner is ready.” We break our hug and make our way into the dining room. I have no idea when she had time to do this, but there’s a ton of food on this table. She’s made pork tenderloin, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, greens, and glazed carrots.
I take a deep breath. “Mrs. Bennett, this smells heavenly.”
“Well dig in, we don’t want it getting cold now,” she says, taking a seat next to Dr. Bennett, who is seated at the head of the table.
There’s light conversation taking place around the table. Keaton is talking about his work and the projects he has going on. Lilly is talking about a crazy case her law firm has. Well, at least she’s telling as much as she can about it, and finally the attention is turned to me. “How’s your class this year?” Lilly asks.
I smile and say, “They’re good kids, and they try hard. Of course, I have one or two who couldn’t care less about school, but they’re not bad kids.”
“Any more problems since the pop quiz?” Mrs. Bennett asks me.
“Nope, it worked like a charm and only two of them failed it, but once I wrote to their parents explaining the situation, they have straightened out and haven’t failed a test since,” I say proudly.
“What happened?” Lilly asks.
“I had an issue with the class listening toward the beginning of the year. I asked them to quietly read while I spoke to the school secretary in the hallway. When I stepped back in they were all in a ruckus, talking, making noises, and being silly. I told them they had to read to themselves for the final thirty minutes of the day and when they were done, I informed them there would be a pop quiz in the morning. You should have seen them! They were all so bummed the next morning when they saw I wasn’t joking.” I smile. “But it worked. They haven’t tried to push me since.”
“Nice,” Lilly says with a huge smile on her face.
“I discovered when I moved to Boston that it’s hard being the new teacher, and if you don’t put your foot down from the get-go they will walk all over you.”
“You better believe it,” Mrs. Bennett says.
We all continue eating in a comfortable silence, and when we’re done, Brooke, Lilly, Mrs. Bennett, and I all go into the kitchen to clean up and put away the leftovers. When we’re done, Lilly and I make plans to get together for lunch on Wednesday, since I now have flexibility due to the holiday break.
Dr. Bennett comes into the kitchen and says, “Kenzie, I want to remind you that Nana has an appointment with me this week.”
“Yes, Dr. Bennett. I’ll be there along with Aunt Kenderly.”
“Good, I haven’t seen her in a while. How has she been?”
I shrug. “She’s getting worse every day and losing a lot of weight. I’m getting worried about her.”
He nods. “I can understand. We’ll talk about what we can do for her weight on Wednesday.”
I nod and say, “Okay.” I turn to Mrs. Bennett. “Thank you for having me tonight, but I’m tired, so I think I’m going to call it a night.” It’s already eight-thirty, and I want to go home and soak in the tub.
She wraps me in a hug and says, “Have a good night, dear. I’ll let you know as soon as I get more information.”
I whisper a thank you as I hug her back. I say goodnight to everyone else and head home.
***
Remy
My eyes flutter open and I groan in pain as I try to sit up in bed, reminding me of the gunshot wound in my side. I had surgery in Germany, and took a med flight back to Georgia where I’ll stay to finish my recovery.
I run my hand over the injury, to feel the bandage that’s been put there. A machine beside the bed starts to beep, signaling my heart rate has increased from the pain. A nurse comes in and says, “Good morning, Captain. I’m Nurse Shelby, and I’ll be your day nurse while you finish your recovery. As you know, you were shot. You lost a lot of blood, so you have received some transfusions. We’re watching for infection as you continue to heal.”
“My family?” I question, concerned over if they’ve been notified that I’m alive.
“They’ve been notified. They know you are here and will be by to visit with you today.” She continues making a note on my chart. “The doctor will be in to check on you shortly. Are you in pain?”
“My wound is throbbing and I have a headache,” I bring my hand to my head.
“That is completely normal. Your side is healing nicely. The pain should slowly start to disappear. I’ll give you something that will help with both your side and the headache. I’ll be back with some meds and the doctor.”
I close my eyes to rest my head while I wait. I’m just dozing off when I hear the nurse come back into the room. “Okay, Captain, I’m going to inject this medication right into your IV. It should kick in pretty quickly.” She shows me the needle.
“No morphine,” I growl, placing my hand over the spot in the line where she’s about to inject my medication. “They put me on morphine when I got shot in the shoulder, and I hated how it made me feel. I swore I would never let them give me that shit again.”
“It’s not morphine,” she assures me, placing her hand on mine and giving me a warm smile.
“Trust me, you don’t need morphine,” a male voice says. I look to see a man in a white jacket looking at my file. Once the nurse leaves, he says to me, “I’m Dr. Callahan, and I’m your doctor until I discharge you.”
“When will that be?” I question, anxious to be in my own bed.
“Once I’m sure you’re clear of infection and you can handle your wound on your own, we can release you. However, you also need to go through a psych evaluation to confirm you’re fit to return to duty.”
“Sounds good to me, Doc. Let’s do this,” I say, but I’m not very convincing because my eyelids are heavy.
“I think you need to get some rest first.” The doctor pats me on the shoulder and walks out the door.
***
I jump up in bed sweating. “Fuck,” I whisper to myself as I look around the room, glad no one was here to witness my nightmare. I look over finding a clock on the wall, which says it’s now twelve-thirty. That means I’ll hopefully get some food soon. I’m starving. On cue, my nurse walks in with a tray of food.
“Ready to try some simple foods?” she asks me.
“I’m ready to eat an entire pig. Please tell me I have more than broth,” I beg.
She smiles. “Tell you what. If you keep this down, I’ll get you something a little more solid.” I nod and begin drinking my chicken broth and eating the Jell-O. I’m still starving, but I decide to give it time to make sure my stomach doesn’t get fucked up.
About twenty minutes later, the nurse comes back and asks, “How are you feeling?”
“Hungry,” I answer simply.
She smiles at me. “I figured you were going to say that.” She lifts the cover of a plate that has scrambled eggs and toast on it.
I give her a huge smile. “You’re the best.” I dig in, and she warns me to go slow but I’m not listening. These are the shittiest eggs I’ve ever eaten, but right now they’re delicious.
“I thought I was the best,” Mama says, leaning against the doorway to my room.
“Hey, Mama! Thanks for coming to visit.” I shove more food into my mouth.
Nurse Shelby says, “Please go slow. I’ll be back to check on you in a little bit.”
I swallow. “I’m sorry. I’m so hungry I feel like I haven’t eaten in days.”
She gives me a warm smile. “You haven’t. You’ve been on an IV since you were out of the country. Besides, you’re not the first guy to wake up and devour his first meal, talking with his mouth all full.” She winks at me.
Mama pushes away from the door, strolling into the room, her eyes welling with unshed tears. I slide my tray table to the side, and she runs to me, wrapping me in n a hug.
“Oh, Remy, I was so scared,” she says through her sobs.
“I’m sor
ry, Mama.”
She pulls away, placing a hand on either side of my face, and says, “How you are you feeling?” She’s looking into my eyes for the truth.
“I’m okay. I woke up earlier today almost forgetting where I was for a minute, and my side is throbbing.”
“It’s so good to see you. Did they tell you when you can come home?” she questions.
“His doctor says if he keep progressing he can go home next week.” My father comes walking through the door. I should have known Dad would have met with the doctor before coming to see me.
“That means you’ll be home for Christmas.” Mama is full of excitement.
“Yes, but please do me a favor, Mama.”
“Anything, you name it,” she says with a wide smile.
“Don’t tell Kenzie. I want to surprise her.”
Her smile slips. “She’s been worried sick about you.”
“I’m sure she has been, Mama, but the doctor says my wound is healing nicely, so I’m hoping to be in good enough shape to surprise her at her house.”
“I think she’ll like that,” Mama says. We continue on to other things. She fills me in on Kenzie and how she’s doing in her new classroom. She also gives me the bad news that her nana isn’t doing well. To me, that’s all the more reason I need to get out of here. I need to be there for her if something happens to her nana. She also tells me what happened with Kenzie and her ex at the diner. She overheard Kenzie freaking out on him and telling him to go home. She tells me she was so proud of her, and that she stepped over to check on her as Kenzie was leaving. Mama looks proud as she tells me how she told him to get packing. I burst into laughter over the vision of my mama telling him to take a hike. I grab my side wincing in pain. My mama may only be five-foot-three, but she’s one scary woman.
Mama gasps, worried about the pain I’m in. I take a breath trying to get comfortable. “Oh, Mama, I’m sorry I made you guys worry.” A yawn escapes me.
