by Alison Mello
“Don’t you have to be in the office?”
“That’s the beauty of being your own boss,” he chuckled, moving his hand from underneath her. He sat up and placed his feet on the floor. “I have a meeting at noon. I’ll fix us something to eat first, you know, make up for lost time. Got any plans today?”
Courtney grinned. “Nah. That’s the beauty of being a struggling artist.”
Zachary stood and walked into the bathroom, exposing all his marvelous glory to her. When he was out of sight, she thought of surprising him with brunch while he prepared to start his day. When she tried to get out of bed, she felt lightheaded and dazed. She laid back down and closed her eyes, hoping the sensation went away soon. Fortunately, it did after a few minutes. She got out of bed and put her dress on, took her purse, pulled out her tiny makeup bag, and walked into the half bathroom next to the kitchen. She rinsed her morning breath away with mouthwash, splashed water over her face before pulling out her compact mirror to redo her makeup. Next, she went into the kitchen to start preparing brunch. After she’d chopped up some red bell peppers, zucchini, and mushrooms, Zachary walked out looking as handsome as he did when she first ran into him. She met his smile with her own, and he narrowed his eyes at the spatula in her hand.
“You should let me take care of you sometimes, Courtney. You deserve it.”
He was right. She was used to catering to others, ever since she was a kid. She took care of all her foster siblings and even her foster parents. She never had anyone cater to her. Well, not after her parents’ passing and real life began. It was good to hear Zachary say such kind words. He strolled in her direction and snatched the spatula from her hand.
“Sit,” he ordered firmly.
She raised her hands in surrender. “Yes, sir.”
On the stovetop, she had an empty pan, and next to it were chopped up veggies. “Thanks for doing the hard part.”
After he placed all the required ingredients into the pan, he turned around to focus on her. He studied her while she fidgeted on her phone and started to worry about her.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asked.
She looked up. “Yes, why do you ask?”
“Not trying to alarm you or anything like that, but baby, you look pale.”
Courtney cupped her cheek as if her warm hands would give her some color, but her palm was as cold as stone. “I’m just tired. There’s been one long, sleepless night after the other working toward my presentation. I need to catch up on some sleep.”
“You should stay here and get some rest. I can pass by your place and pick up whatever you need,” he offered.
“That’s sweet, but I have to go. I need to start working on my new piece.” She rubbed the back of her neck, avoiding eye contact with him and once more feeling lightheaded. She struggled to keep her discomfort from him. Unfortunately, he didn’t make it easy with his intense scrutiny.
He opened the top cabinet and fetched a plate, cut up some strawberries, added smoked salmon and the mixed veggies from the pot, and placed it in front of her. “Please eat and get some rest. I am not taking no for an answer. I’ll go by your place after my meeting and grab you some clothes. I am taking care of you this weekend. You deserve that and more.”
She feigned excitement and looked at the plate. Zachary leaned over the counter, his head bowed, and lowered his voice. “If you are good, you might just get a free back and foot rub when I get back.”
Courtney giggled and picked up her fork, enjoying being pampered. “Thanks, Zachary, you’re right. I’ll stay in,” she agreed, knowing he wouldn’t let go no matter how hard she pushed. Besides, he was right. She needed the rest…and more of that love he made to her last night.
“That’s my girl.” He moved around the counter to the chair beside her.
After brunch, Zachary collected some files and his truck keys off the side table in the living room. She startled him when he turned around to find her standing right behind him, almost bumping heads with her.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” His voice was heavy with concern.
“Yes, I just wanted to say this to you before you walk out that door.”
His eyes widened, and he braced himself. Courtney looked somber, and there was something off about her appearance, but he just couldn’t place a finger on it.
“What’s going on, angel?”
She cupped his cheeks and summoned a genuine smile, which reflected wholly in her eyes, roaming over every single detail of his face as if taking mental pictures. He stood motionless, staring back at her.
“I love you,” she whispered after a long period of uncomfortable wait.
His eyes softened, and he pulled away from her.
She took in a deep breath, not sad or worried that he wouldn’t reciprocate. She needed to tell him, and that was all that mattered. Those three powerful words fluttered in her heart, bringing her inner peace.
To her surprise, Zachary replied, “I love you, Courtney. I have from the day you walked into my life. I yearned to find a kindred spirit ever since I was a boy. I lived in my head. My own lonely world. I struggled to find companionship, and I never thought I would, especially after I married Alison and realized how incompatible we were. Then I found you, my love, my angel, my rib. Sometimes I get angry, even with you. What took you so long to find me? All the time wasted, the hurt and pain, the hopelessness. I was…” He shuddered, and he took a step back.
Courtney moved in, taking him into her arms. She held him in place, feeling his heart race, and didn’t let go. It synchronized with hers as it was supposed to. She kissed his brow. “I’ll be here when you get back. I promise.”
“Thank you.” Affectionately, he took her lips in his for a passionate kiss that dragged on for a couple of minutes.
CHAPTER 21
The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
~H. P. Lovecraft
Keeping secrets and living in solitude was exhausting her soul. Courtney had just professed her undying love to a man she was mindful she’d hurt in due course, and that disturbed her. She took his advice, or more like his order, and remained in bed through the afternoon. Unfortunately, sleep did not come easily. She tossed and turned, her conscience overwhelmed with dread.
She had a few days before she found out what the future held for her, and the wait was agonizing.
She decided to come clean with Zachary as soon as he returned. And while he deserved to know the truth, to lay such a burden on him broke her heart.
She spent the rest of the afternoon reminiscing about her childhood, prior to the calamity that took her parents away. She grew up in an average middle-class American home. Her father was an employee in a computer software firm. She remembered his profession clearly because that was all he talked about day in and day out. Her mother had been a photographer. She had many pictures in their home, pictures Courtney never saw again after the accident. She had vivid images of her mom taking pictures of her at the park, walking to the school bus, her ballet recitals, and any important milestone she could think of. That camera never left her mother’s side. It was her life. The thought thrilled Courtney. Her mother’s attention to details and passion for art was a trait Courtney inherited from her. Though her mother never picked up a paintbrush, she had an eye for art. Courtney longed for her to have been around to celebrate her accomplishments. She would have been her number one critic. It was a shame she herself would never get to be a mother, to experience the bond between a mother and daughter.
A tear fell from the corner of her eye. She attempted to brace her heart. Instead, she fostered sadness within. It was amazing she could still feel. Maybe this was what being strong was about. A fighter. That she was. Feeling down and physically weak, she urged herself to get some rest.
***
Zachary walked back into his living room at close to six p.m. The meeting had run longer than anticipated, and then there were more conce
rns to address. He tried as hard as he could to rush the guys through the meeting in his haste to get back to Courtney. Her conduct that morning and her physical appearance lingered in his thoughts all afternoon. Was there more going on in her life she forgot to share? Had her ex-husband attacked her again? The thought made him cringe. He’d put a bullet in his head if he ever touched her again. Courtney was his now, and he didn’t plan on losing her a second time.
Before heading home, he stopped by her apartment to grab a few clothes and personal effects she might need. On the drive home, he thought mostly about Alison, and Courtney’s concerns. It was time to give his wife her freedom back. He wasn’t sure why he held on to their marriage for so long. He’d convinced himself it was for the kids, but in reality, it was more. It wasn’t because he still loved her, but a way to make her suffer for abandoning him and not making an effort to understand him the way Courtney did. He’d hurt his wife time after time, and he fully understood that now. He was undeserving of a second chance, especially with an angel like Courtney. He decided then that he’d sign the papers and have them filed by the end of the week. He was grateful that Alison allowed him to see Amelia and Adam. Even though he would like more time with them than what he was given, he was grateful for her compassion.
Worry grabbed him when he opened the door to a cold, dark apartment. He’d been messaging Courtney all afternoon and called a couple of times but hadn’t been able to reach her. She must be sleeping, but something didn’t feel right. He dropped her overnight bag on the couch and walked into his bedroom. The room was dark and as cold as the living room.
“Courtney?” he whispered and flipped the light switch on. He drew in a long breath of relief when he found her sound asleep. He was terrified she had left him.
She moaned as she tried to wake up. She covered her eyes with the hand, shielding them from the bright light. Noticing her discomfort, Zachary switched the light off and moved into the bed beside her.
“Hi, baby,” she crooned.
“Hi. I see you got some good rest.”
“How was your day?”
“As expected.”
“What time is it?”
“Six twenty-three,” Zachary said after glancing at his phone screen.
“Christ, I have been sleeping that long?” She placed a hand on her growling stomach. Embarrassed, she blushed and sat up.
“Someone is hungry,” he teased. “Come here.”
He pulled her back down, and she rested on his chest. He held her in his arms and frowned. “Your body is cold. Why is the air so cold?”
“It was hot this afternoon, so I turned the air conditioning down. Sorry about that.”
“No need to apologize, my love. I should get us something for dinner. You want to freshen up while I do that?”
She sighed, ignoring the dreadful feeling for what she was preparing to reveal to him tonight. There was no way around it. He deserved to know, and it must be done tonight before it was too late.
She pulled away. “I’ll freshen up.”
“I’ll get your bag. I left it in the living room.”
“Thanks.” Courtney swallowed the tight lump of guilt in her throat. Still exhausted and feeling all the pain in her bones, she stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
Zachary walked back into the bedroom minutes later and noticed the closed bathroom door. He placed the bag by the door and called, “Courtney?”
“Yeah?” she answered in a rusty voice.
“Your bag is right behind the door. I’ll get dinner started.”
“Thanks.”
Pulling his phone from his pocket, he placed a call to Corey. “Can you talk?” he asked when Corey answered.
“Business or personal?”
“When do those two not mix when it comes us?” Zachary retorted.
“Eh!”
“I’ll sign the papers and have them sent to you by Friday.”
“Are you kidding me? What changed your mind? It’s been so long, Alison has given up calling my office to check on the progress.”
“Well, she’s about to get her wish. So are you.”
“What’s going on? Did you meet someone? Did Courtney come back?”
“Dude, just file the papers. You ask too many questions.”
“You sure you don’t want to talk?” Corey pushed.
“Nah.”
“All right, man. We’ll talk later.”
Pleased by his decision, Zachary exultantly began to prepare dinner. After a long time, he began to worry about Courtney. She’d been in there for too long. He turned down the heat on the electric stove to allow the food to keep warm while he checked on her. A cold chill ran down his spine when he stepped into the bedroom to find her bag still sitting where he left it.
“Courtney?” He knocked on the door.
No answer. “Courtney?” Nothing. He opened the door and was met with a whoosh of steam from the running hot water. He gasped when he saw her lying face down and naked on the floor, stiff as a board. For a fraction of a second, he suffered a flashback of the battleground, staring down at his team, lying in the pool of their own blood. He was dismayed as blood oozed out of their bodies, flowing into the streets. One of his team men staggered toward him with his hand stretched out, muttering, “Help!” with half of his head blown away. He recoiled but swiftly recovered when a small voice murmured to him, “Help her.”
He dashed to Courtney, dropping to his knees, gathered her in his arms, and cried out her name. He carefully turned her over, lying flat on her back. She was out cold, and her body was rigid. His first aid skills from his years of duty kicked in, and he placed his ear close to her nose, checking for signs of breathing. There was nothing. He placed his hand at the center of her chest between her breasts and pushed hard and fast, pleading, “Courtney, don’t do this, baby, do you hear me?”
After about a hundred compressions, he ran to the kitchen for his phone, frantically dialing.
“911, what’s your emergency?” a male voice answered.
“Courtney! Courtney, my girlfriend, she’s out, she’s unresponsive!” he gasped. “There’s something wrong. Send an ambulance, now!”
“Is the victim conscious?” the operator asked.
“What the fuck did I just tell you? She’s not responding.”
He ran back to the bathroom and knelt by her side, rattling off his address to the operator and ignoring all the questions he was trained to ask.
“Okay, sir, I have dispatched an ambulance to your location. They should arrive in less than five minutes. Please stay on the line with me. Have you performed CPR on the patient?”
“Yes!”
“Okay, put me on speaker and I’ll guide you through it one more time.”
Without arguing, Zachary did as he was told.
“Are you near an AED defibrillator?”
“No, no, I am not.”
“Tilt her head back and lift up her chin,” the operator instructed.
“I know how to do CPR!” Zachary bellowed. “Where is that ambulance?”
“They are on their way to you, sir. They should arrive in approximately three minutes. Please take a deep breath and begin compressions, as hard as possible, at least a hundred times.”
Right when he reached sixty-three, Courtney’s eyes snapped open wide. She gazed blankly at him, unable to comprehend her surroundings. A loud bang sounded on the door, startling him, and Zachary rushed to the door. He directed the two responders to the bathroom and hovered over them as they worked. He scolded himself for not covering Courtney’s nakedness, but these men were professionals and they’d seen worse than this. He pulled his bed linens anyway and covered her. They didn’t appear to be bothered by it, so that eased his tension. She seemed responsive when they carried her to a gurney and strapped her in.
Zachary switched off the stove and trailed behind them. “I’m riding with you,” he said and hopped into the ambulance without waiting for a response.
CHAPTER 22
Nothing brings down walls as surely as acceptance.
~Deepak Chopra
Courtney struggled to remember where she was. Her blurred vision and limp body interfered with her ability to reason accurately. She tried to move her hand and found a tiny device clipped to her index finger. The last memory she dredged up in her mind was talking to Zachary and preparing all day to reveal something she’d kept from him. Now from what she recognized, she was in the hospital.
Had she passed out? Had Zachary found her? She turned her head to look out the window and was stunned by what she saw. Slumped in the chair at the corner of the room was Zachary, his head leaning against the wall, arms folded over his chest. He wore the same outfit he had on the last time she saw him. How long had she been out? He looked utterly scruffy and unkempt. His disheveled hair and rumpled shirt told her all she needed to know. He must know now. She instantly regretted her choice to conceal the truth from him.
“I’m so sorry, Zachary,” she whispered, tears falling from her eyes.
Feeling her presence, he jolted awake to find her big hazel eyes looking at him. “Courtney?” he blurted and rose out of his seat. “Baby, are you all right? Can you hear me?”
“Of course I can hear you, silly.”
He kissed her forehead.
“Zachary, I am so sorry.”
“Shh shh…Why are you apologizing? I should be apologizing to you. I should never have left you. I should have taken better care of you. You are coming home with me and staying with me from now on. No exceptions.”
Courtney narrowed her eyes at him. Did he not see what was going on? Did he know? He seemed optimistic, which was odd.
