‘So, where are we going?’ We’ve left Liverpool behind now, driving narrower country roads, trees in full leaf and rolling fields becoming more predominant as the miles go by. Justin turns and grins at me.
‘You’ll see. We’re nearly there, patience Pearl.’
I grin back at him and relax into the soft leather seat, smiling at Jared as his tries to stick his foot in his mouth now. Within another five minutes, Justin slows the car and indicates, turning down a single track country lane. I crane my neck as he turns again and eases the AMG through wide double gates, a large house at the left-hand side of me. He pulls the car slowly up a gravel drive, turning into a car park and killing the engine. He and Ellen remove their seatbelts and turn to me, their faces meeting in the gap between the front seats, both of them grinning like idiots.
As I crack the door open I get a whiff of a smell that heats my blood and makes my heart start to sing. I tip my head back into the light breeze and drink it in, until my lungs are full of it. It’s the most wonderful smell in the world.
Horse.
Two
I turn to see Ellen strapping a harness onto Justin’s back before lifting Jared from his car seat and securing him into the backpack. He crows with delight and grabs two handfuls of Justin’s blond mop, tugging it delightedly and Jus laughs, tipping his head sideways, his loving cerulean eyes meeting his son.
‘Oi, you! That hurts!’
Jared screams with laughter now, pulling harder and kicking Justin in the kidneys for good measure. I turn as Daniel’s Bentley pulls smoothly into the car park beside us. It’s all starting to make heart-pounding sense and if they’ve really done what I suspect they have, I think I’m going to collapse.
I’ve adored horses all my life, despite never having seen one in the flesh until about eighteen months ago. I remember being very young, probably about three or four years old, in some grim, nameless children’s home in Liverpool and being given a twenty third hand My Little Pony. The plastic was grey, half the mane and nearly all the tail were missing and it was battered and scratched, but I loved it from the moment I laid my chubby hands on it. Another kid stole it from me about a year later and I never saw it again, but I never forgot it.
A few months after Justin and Ellen transformed my life, they asked me if I would like to do anything as a hobby.
A hobby.
Something that I had never had chance to do, pursue something purely for pleasure. As soon as the offer was made, one word sprang into my mind and stuck there like a thorn.
Ride.
The thing that I’d hankered after all my life. I’d never even seen a horse in the flesh for heaven’s sake, let alone had the chance to learn how to ride one. But I did. Twice a week, from the absolute basics, how to stay balanced on a moving animal, my confidence growing with each lesson. I learned how to trot and canter, but my real passion shone through when I started jumping. The sheer adrenaline and exhilaration of sitting on a huge, powerful animal as it leaves the ground at high speed, there really is nothing like that on earth. It sparked passion and dedication in me that was brand new and diamond bright and a lifelong love was born. Since then, I’ve helped out at the riding school on my days off work, learning how to care for the horses and all aspects of stable management and my life has never been so complete, or my heart so full.
I’m dragged back to the present as the doors to the Bentley open and Dan, Jessica, Holly and Regan climb out. I grin as soon as my eyes meet Regan’s, and hers positively dance at me as she skips over pulling me into her arms. I close my eyes. I really love this girl. She’s the sister that I always wanted but never had.
I remember the night I first saw her, when I followed Ellen into that awful house, her distraught, tear-stained face as she sat on the filthy mattress, her tawny eyes begging me to save her. A deep friendship was born that night, as strong as steel and it will never be broken. There’s only eighteen months between us and we’re close.
‘Oh my God, Pearl… you are going to freak!’ she hisses, joy and terror sweeping through me again. I hug her briefly and release her, looking at the group of them now as they stand in front of me and my heart flips in my chest. These people are my family, despite not a single blood tie and I love them as if I’ve known them my whole life. I raise a trembling hand to my head, tugging on my ponytail awkwardly as I wait for one of them to speak.
Justin clears his throat. ‘Pearl. I hope the gift that we’ve got for you reflects the depths of our feelings.’ He grins at me suddenly and my heart starts to knock twice a second.
‘Come on!’ Regan grabs my hand and we start to walk towards the immaculate farm buildings in front of us and every step that I take spikes my breathing. I hear a shrill whinny coming from one of the blocks in front of us and my heart skips.
As we approach, the door to a tidy portacabin opens and a woman in her early forties steps out into the sunlight. She smiles at us as we approach and Justin takes a step past me, shaking her hand.
‘Tracey. Good to see you.’ He gives her a wide smile and I see a wistful look creep into her eyes. Ellen’s well used to this by now. So many women are affected by Justin, they just can’t help themselves.
‘And you, Justin,’ Tracey replies, smiling lightly at him. She’s an attractive woman, very slim and petite, with short blonde hair under an Ariat cap. She turns to me.
‘You must be Pearl, it’s lovely to meet you. I’m Tracey Bond. Welcome to Chapel View Equestrian.’ She beams a huge smile at me and I like her immediately. ‘I’m the owner/yard manager/groom and general shit-shoveller, although I have a lot of help!’
I shake her hand. ‘It’s great to meet you,’ I murmur, glancing round at the clustered people behind me, who are collectively grinning like idiots.
‘So! I’m guessing you’re wondering why you’re here?’ Tracey asks, her amused light blue eyes meeting mine. I have a pretty good idea, and I don’t think it’s another block booking of flaming riding lessons.
‘Come on. Someone wants to meet you!’ she says and I follow her through a large square courtyard, horses’ heads hanging over the top of half doors, snatching forage lazily from bulging nets.
We enter an immaculate barn, spacious loose boxes lining the sides of the biggest indoor riding arena that I have ever seen. It’s large enough for Grand Prix dressage, the sand and silica rubber surface raked to a smooth finish. An extensive sprinkler system hangs overhead, to rehydrate the surface and my breath hitches. This yard is a million light years away from my riding school. Everything about it screams money and quality.
Tracey leads me away from the entrance to the indoor riding arena and down the side of the barn. I hear a quiet choked laugh behind me and I turn to see Ellen scowling and poking her fingers into Justin’s ribs as he squirms away from her, snorting. I grin to myself as I follow Tracey to the bottom of the barn and she stops and turns to me, looking over my shoulder.
‘Justin?’ she asks. ‘Do you want to do this?’ Her brows rise enquiringly and he clears his throat and steps past me, joining Tracey and turning to face me.
‘Yeah, I do, thanks Tracey.’ His eyes lock with mine. ‘Pearl. We know you’re potty about horses and because we all love you so much, we decided to get you one of your own. Meet Nelson. Happy birthday love.’ He leans forward and kisses my forehead and I force my frozen legs to move, both Tracey and Justin stepping out of the way as I take two steps forward, turning to the stable in front of me.
The breath leaves my lungs as I stare at the animal. He’s big, well over sixteen hands and his gleaming coat shimmers over his rope-like muscles. A beautiful bright bay, his mane and tail look as though they’ve been dipped in peroxide. He regards me with soulful brown eyes as he snatches a mouthful of haylage from the net in front of him. He’s the most heart stopping thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life and I just ogle him, my mouth open.
Tracey takes a step forward. ‘He’s a seven year old Warmblood Thoroughbred cross. He’s a top class sh
owjumper Pearl, his sire has won both HOYS and Badminton in the last four years. He’s a lovely lad, well-schooled, obedient and willing. Superb temperament. You’re going to adore him.’ She gives me a gentle push towards the stable door.
Nelson sees me approach and, snatching one last mouthful of forage, moves towards me, whickering softly in the back of his throat. I stand, my hand out palm up as he reaches me and he sniffs it, his velvet muzzle brushing gently against my trembling fingers. He snorts, opening his mouth and then licking my palm with a huge, stropping tongue.
I half laugh, half sob, emotions breaking free and the first of my tears start to build behind my eyes. This is beyond anything that I ever imagined and I drop my head onto Nelson’s nose, breathing in the smell of him. I need to turn around and talk to them all, but I can’t. I’m destroyed.
I hear someone behind me step forward but I’m not sure who it is until I feel his long fingered hands grip my shoulders and Justin turns me gently from Nelson, tipping my wet face up to his.
‘Enjoy him, Pearl. You’ve lived so long without any love or joy in your life, but no longer, sweetheart. We’re all going to see to that.’ I sob now, burying my face into his chest, his arms threading themselves around me and he holds me gently. I get hold of myself finally and he turns me to face the rest of my wonderful family. I swipe the tears from my face with my sleeve and give them a wobbly smile.
‘Thank you, so much,’ I whisper, the words hoarse. They sound woefully inadequate but it’s all I can find to say. My head’s battered. They all understand anyway – they’ve been through this with Justin.
Tracey breaks the spell. ‘Okay! So, fancy a road test, Pearl?’ Her brows tip invitingly and I swipe my cheeks again as I turn and grin at her.
‘Oh God, yeah - please?’ Joy is chasing the happy tears away now, the realisation of what I’ve been gifted with this morning now finally taking hold. I have my own horse.
All you need now is a man and your life will be as perfect as Ellen’s.
Everyone starts to chat quietly as Tracey leads me back down the barn to a door at the far end, which has a key pad in front of it.
‘The code is 6784,’ she tells me. ‘Stick it in your phone, although don’t worry if you forget it. I’ll give you my number and if you’re ever down here and need anything, just come up to the house. I’m either here or there, usually, so don’t ever be worried about coming to find me, even if it’s ten at night.’
She grins again and punches the code into the keypad, the door swinging open. I follow her into a small room, saddle racks lining the walls. There’s a small kitchen tucked in the corner.
‘Help yourself to a brew if you want – I bring fresh milk in every day.’ She pauses and turns to me. ‘Nelson’s tack is number three.’ She points to saddle and bridle racks that are shoulder height to me. ‘His saddles have been professionally fitted. He has a jump saddle, but also a general purpose and a dressage, just in case you feel as though you’d like to dip your toe into that discipline at some point in the future.’ I’m liking her more by the minute, she seems a lovely person, warm and friendly.
‘Go on, then?’ Tracey nods towards the racks. ‘He’s your horse, Pearl, and his equipment is yours too. Go ahead.’ I gulp and take a step towards number three, slipping the fleece cover off the brand new Albion jumping saddle and I slide it off the rack, pulling the bridle down from the peg underneath it and slipping it over my shoulder. I turn and make my way back down the barn, everyone still chatting quietly as I reach the stable door and I rest the saddle over the top of it, before slipping both bolts and sliding quietly into the stable. Nelson whickers again when he sees me and I slip the bridle off my shoulder as I approach him.
I stroke his neck as I reach him, lifting the reins over his head and turning, so that my right shoulder is touching his left. I hold the bridle in my right hand, lifting it high over his head, my left palm cupping the bit and bringing it to his mouth. He opens it immediately and I slide the cool metal between his teeth, pulling the leather over his ears and settling the bridle onto his head. I fasten the throat latch, the noseband and the flash as Tracey comes into the stable behind me.
‘He only wears a flash because he’s been known to get his tongue over the bit. It’s just a precaution,’ she informs me and I nod. One of the horses that I ride at the school does the same thing.
I stroke Nelson’s neck as I finish the task, turning and pulling the saddle from the top of the stable door, dropping the sheepskin pad gently over his withers. I fasten the girth, keeping the straps loose. Done, I stroke his rump, suddenly realising that I haven’t got a bloody riding hat.
I give Ellen a grateful smile and roll my eyes as she approaches me with my riding hat and leather gloves in her hands. Thanking her, I gather Nelson’s reins and put them on. A sea of grinning faces confront me once again and my facial muscles are aching from my own happiness. I can’t shove the smile from my face.
Tracey speaks again. ‘Pearl, we have two outdoor arenas as well, but I suggest you trying the indoor today, so you can start to get to know each other. It’s been booked to you for the next hour, no-one will disturb you.’
She steps back, allowing me room to lead Nelson out of the stable and down the barn to the entrance to the indoor. I pause when I get there and he stops immediately behind me. I feel another shiver of warm anticipation snake through me when I realise that this horse really does have the most impeccable manners. I look up into his chocolate eyes and grin at him.
He chews on the bit and shakes his head as if to say, ‘Well get on with it, then?’ and I take a step into the huge indoor arena. There’s a mounting block at the far end and I walk towards it, Tracey following me, shutting the door behind her. I glance back, wondering where the rest of them are, but within a few seconds I see them climbing some wooden stairs to a raised viewing gallery at the far side of the arena. My breathing starts to shallow.
Fuck!
I’ve been riding for a year and a half, jumping for about nine months and I’m pretty confident, at least with anything under two metres. But I’ve never had an audience, let alone every single member of the family that I love so much.
You’re going to bloody fall off and have them with their heads in their hands in about ten minutes. This horse has cost thousands!
I shake my head, trying not to think not only about the prospect of falling off, but also Nelson’s worth. I’m actually glad I don’t know, but I’m suddenly a bag of nerves. I approach the mounting block, Nelson following me quietly and as we reach it, Tracey comes to the other side of me, pulling down my right stirrup. I check the length and they seem to be okay. She cocks a brow at me.
‘You can check them when you’re on.’ She moves out of the way as I tighten Nelson’s girth a hole at a time, sliding my fingers underneath it to make sure that it isn’t too tight, before moving in front of him and pulling each of his front legs towards me, his fetlock in my hands. Tracey nods approvingly and I can hear mumbling from the gallery. I can almost hear them.
Why’s she doing that?
Tracey lifts her head. ‘It’s to make sure that there’s no skin being pinched. Every good rider does this before they attempt to get on a horse.’ She smiles gently at me and I sense that I’ve impressed her. This is a woman who knows horses inside out, has probably been around them since she was born and her opinion already means a lot to me.
I take a deep shuddering breath and move Nelson to the side of the mounting block, climbing up it. He’s bloody huge and I feel a frisson of fear slide through me as I put my left foot in the stirrup. The horse that I ride at the school is about fifteen hands, not much more than a pony, really, and getting on Nelson feels like climbing Everest!
I sit quietly into the saddle, my right foot groping for the stirrup before settling myself, shoulders back, heels down. Tracey walks into the middle of the vast school.
‘Alright – just do exactly what you want. Get to know him. Ignore me and ignore all
those grinning idiots up there as well!’ Justin barks a laugh from the gallery and I bite my lip as I gather my reins and squeeze my legs gently around Nelson’s flanks. He moves off immediately at the lightest touch of my body with his and I feel my heart pulse again.
Christ. It’s like driving a performance car. Not that I ever have and I am itching for the day when Justin allows me behind the wheel of the AMG, but I can imagine that this is what it feels like. My riding school horse is absolutely lovely but Nelson is in an entirely different league.
I walk him around the arena, gradually relaxing into him as each second passes, trusting him immediately. His ears twitch towards me every few seconds, waiting for an instruction and I stroke his neck gently as we change the rein and walk the other way. The gallery is now completely silent and as we pass them, I can feel all eyes burning into the backs of both of us.
Tracey stands silently in the centre of the enormous arena, just watching us, turning slowly so she can keep eye contact. I take another deep breath, gather my reins up and give Nelson a gentle squeeze with my heels.
He breaks immediately into a working trot, the effortless rhythm of his long legs bouncing me gently out of the saddle and back again and I land so lightly I have to shake my head. It’s like sitting on a marshmallow, his movements are so powerful, but so subtle, I feel as though I am contributing nothing. My heartrate starts to spike again as the quality of the animal that I’ve been gifted with sinks into my brain. I’m going to have so much fun with this amazing horse.
My confidence suddenly returns in a warm flood and I glance at Tracey, cocking her a smile as I reach the corner of the school and I ask Nelson for canter. He responds immediately, as I knew he would, his long legs churning up the smooth surface in effortless strides and I ask for a little more, the canter becoming faster and I sit back so I’m not hampering him.
It’s like riding a rocking horse and I move effortlessly with him, as if we’re almost one being. After two circuits I change the rein, Nelson performing a seamless flying change and we canter two circuits on the other rein before I tighten my fingers and he comes immediately back to trot and then walk.
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