Dark

by Rachel Harley

  I hear the sound the tap running. He emerges a minute later, his chest and belly clean and dry and I just lie there and gawp at him as he strolls towards me, naked. He’s still semi-aroused and I shove myself up the bed, taking liberties here, but I slide under the covers, pulling them back for him and he climbs in immediately beside me.

  He goes to say something, then hesitates and changes his mind. As his lips come down to kiss me, as requested, I pull back a little and lock with his eyes. I want to know what he was about to say before he bottled it. He looks at me questioningly.

  ‘I thought you wanted kissing?’

  ‘I do,’ I breathe. ‘But you looked like you were going to say something?’ I give him a beady look. ‘The same rules apply to you, Carter. Just talk to me? I might be sexually inexperienced, but I’m far from a shrinking violet.’

  He gazes at me for a beat, his eyes searching. ‘I was going to say, well, that was the first time that’s happened to me.’

  I wrinkle my forehead, confused. ‘What?’

  He sighs, realising that he’s going to have to spell it out. ‘I’ve never come as a result of a woman, well, you know…?’

  No-one’s ever wanked him off? Is he serious?

  ‘How come?’ I grin at him, feeling wonderful now. I’ve done something to him that no other woman has. ‘No pun intended,’ I say and he laughs, stroking my face with the tips of his fingers. His eyes soften, turn molten when he looks at me and I feel myself start to collapse inside. The way he’s looking at me, his green gaze so intense, he’s got some pretty powerful feelings starting in that beautiful head of his, whatever they are. Either that, or he’s an astonishingly good actor.

  Stop getting ahead of yourself. You’ve just tossed him off and given him an excuse for a blow job – he’s just sleepy and satisfied. You’re over-reading this. What are you thinking – that’s he’s starting to fall in love with you? Get grip!

  ‘I haven’t actually had that many previous partners, Pearl. I’ve been far too focused on my Degrees to have any real time left to dedicate to a serious relationship,’ he says quietly. He peers down at me, a lovely half smile on his flawless face. He looks so incredible, his cheekbones still lightly flushed from his orgasm, his hair an almost-fucked damp storm and his eyes liquid.

  ‘I believe you requested a kiss, Miss Harrison?’ he whispers huskily, which shuts down my thoughts immediately. I nod, closing my eyes and reaching my mouth up to his, waiting for his lips to descend and ignite me once more. I’m hopeful for round two, aching for it. I’m addicted to his touch. I crack open half an eye when no kiss appears but he’s just gazing down at me with that soft look in his eyes.

  ‘Thank you,’ he whispers and then his mouth is on mine. These kisses are deep, languid and very slow and I want to capture this moment in time, stay in it forever. I never want it to end.

  He eventually pulls me into his arms as he lies back onto the pillow and I rest my head on his chest, my fingers gently stroking the vibrant fire feathers of his tattoo.

  Neither of us speaks for a time, the silence thick suddenly and I need to break it. I can almost hear him thinking. I don’t know how I manage to read him like this, but I’m well aware he’s got shit thundering through his mind. I stroke the phoenix.

  ‘’It’s really beautiful,’ I say softly and he brings a hand up, fiddling softly with my hair. I tip my eyes up and he gives me a slow lazy smile.

  ‘It took weeks to complete, I had to have it done in stages,’ he says.

  ‘Because of the pain?’

  He chuckles. ‘No. I can deal with pain, it was the colours, they had to be built in layers. Florence is amazing.’

  ‘Florence?’

  ‘My ink artist,’ he tells me.

  I push myself up on my elbow again, shoving the covers back so that I can get a proper look at it finally. He’s not wrong, Florence, whoever she is, is hugely talented. The shading is incredible, the colours blending into each other so seamlessly, it’s like a watercolour painting. It almost looks like it’s been scanned onto his skin, not imprinted into it. Every frond of the trailing feathers, the iridescent tail and tongues of fire, even the defiant expression in the mythical bird’s eyes. I’m mesmerised by it.

  ‘Why a phoenix?’

  He considers me for a moment. ‘Symbolic,’ he says simply. There’s a pause as I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t, leaving me with one small crumb of information to process.

  Symbolic. Risen from the ashes. That’s him? What happened?

  I’m not asking. It’s too personal a question, we still hardly know each other. If he wanted me to know, he’d have volunteered the information.

  I kiss the phoenix, tracing my tongue around the graceful coloured curves of ink and he sighs and closes his eyes at the feel of me, his long body trembling lightly. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly to him, neither of us saying anything else. Not for the moment, words aren’t needed. I’m in his arms, breathing him in and that’s more than enough for me right now.

  Ten

  I’m dragged gently back into consciousness by the muffled ringing of a phone.

  Opening my eyes, I wonder for a second where I am, until I feel a shifting beside me and it all comes flooding back. I inhale deeply, my stomach clenching sweetly at the scent of Carter’s skin as he comes awake slowly beside me.

  I have no idea how long we’ve been asleep, or when we even stopped talking. I’m in exactly the same position I was in when I closed my eyes, enfolded in his powerful arms, my head on his chest. I sigh, dipping my lips and kissing his phoenix.

  The ringing goes on and on. It’s not my phone – the tone is alien to me. As Carter regains full consciousness and registers the shrilling phone, I feel his body tense underneath me suddenly, the slight contraction of his muscles, the gentle thrum of what feels like anxiety. He relaxes finally when the noise cuts off. It’s evidently his phone and it’s gone to voicemail.

  I look up at him. He’s not fully awake and he looks edible, his bright hair a tumble of unruly curls, his eyes soft. He gives me a sweet half smile, that raises the dimple in his left cheek and I throb again. Christ almighty… A shiver of both joy and fear skate through me when I realise that Carter Jackson has stolen my heart and the sooner I start to face up to that fact, the better.

  He brings a hand up and strokes my hair gently. As I scoot up the bed towards him, resting my chin on his chest and looking deeply into his sated eyes, he leans forward automatically to kiss me. He’s as desperate as me, it seems. Every time we’re within a few feet of each other, some invisible force pulls our mouths together. Neither of us appear to have any control over it whatsoever.

  I’m shit out of luck, however. As soon as his gentle lips close over mine, his fucking phone starts again from the bedroom floor and he freezes against me, his lips pulling regretfully away.

  ‘For fuck’s sake…’ he mutters irritably, sitting up and sliding out of bed. He squats on the floor, fishing in his jeans pocket and snagging his phone. He climbs back into bed whilst it’s still ringing in his hand and he sits up, his back against the headboard, glaring at the display.

  I feel vulnerable all of a sudden, lying down. He’s obviously not coming back down here to finish the kiss that he’d started and I feel a thread of unease at the expression on his face as he stares at his phone. He still hasn’t connected the call, I can see an internal war raging inside him. The shrilling, so familiar ringtone that every bloody iPhone user seems to have is drilling into my head now and I sit up next to him, pulling the duvet up under my armpits. I open my mouth, about to ask him if he’s going to answer the thing or not and in a split second, he makes a decision, touching the call open and bringing the phone to his face. Before he speaks to whomever it is who’s so obviously desperate to get hold of him, he takes my hand, lacing our fingers and squeezing tightly. I can feel the tension in him, it’s almost as if he’s taken hold of my hand to give him strength. I have no idea why.

/>   ‘What?’

  My eyes widen at the curt greeting and the tone in his voice. He’s not fond of this mystery person, whoever they are and he says nothing whilst they evidently berate him. I can hear the tinny squawk from over here, like the buzz of an angry wasp and after thirty seconds, he’s had enough. Disentangling his hand gently from mine, he shoves it through his curls in frustration.

  ‘Alright, enough! Look, Toria – you need to stop doing this. Please.’ He takes my hand again, his fingers gently stroking mine and I glance at his set profile as whoever Toria is gabbles in his ear again. He closes his eyes, shaking his head in frustration, but when he speaks again, his voice has softened slightly.

  ‘I’ll be home next week, please – can you stop calling and texting me. I’ll talk to you when I get to my father’s if you’ll agree to stop this and stop it now. I have work to do Toria, I have my finals in a few weeks and I can’t focus.’

  My mind is racing, taking me back to his words in the car outside the house a few hours ago. His messy relationship breakup.

  Toria.

  Well, that’s that mystery solved, but there’s something odd. I’ll talk to you when I get to my father’s. Why would she be there? I’m listening intently though when Carter speaks again and now his voice is weary, as if he’s sick to the back teeth of saying these words to the woman on the other end of the phone.

  ‘Toria, please don’t say that. All you’re doing is making me feel uncomfortable and embarrassing yourself. Look – I’ve got to go. I’m in the middle of something important and it won’t wait.’ He turns his head, his eyes heating, the pupils widening as he smiles down at me. ‘Stop calling me, okay? I’ll see you next week.’ He doesn’t wait for her reply, but ends the call, staring down at the phone for a second whilst he gathers his thoughts.

  I sit quietly next to him, saying nothing. I hope he wants to tell me, but I don’t feel comfortable asking. I wonder what this is, me and him? What are we doing here, are we boyfriend and girlfriend or just fuck-buddies, mates with benefits? I want to ask him this as well but I’m not sure I want to know the answer. Being his girlfriend would empower me to ask questions such as the ones I want to ask right now, about his past relationship with Toria.

  What sort of a name is Toria?

  Carter slides his phone onto the beside cabinet before turning onto his side and shuffling back down the bed, his head on the pillow. His green eyes beseech me as he looks up at me, his lips slightly parted, a vulnerable expression on his face. He clearly wants to talk to me, which is a good sign, but he wants me lying next to him.

  I don’t hesitate and within a moment we’re staring into each other’s eyes, our faces a few inches apart. He puts his arms around me and holds me gently as he starts to speak, his gaze never leaving mine.

  ‘Toria is my messy relationship breakup, but you’ve no doubt fathomed that out for yourself,’ he starts quietly. ‘What makes the whole situation so much worse is that she’s also my cousin.’

  My mouth pops open in shock, that was the last thing I expected him to say, but now his words to her made sense. She’s part of his family.

  Oh fuck.

  This is just perfect. The man that I am free-falling for is still entangled in an ex, who clearly doesn’t want to let him go and she’s also a member of his family. He sees me processing all this, the grimace that crosses my face and he brings up a long finger, stroking gently down my nose. I kiss the digit when it reaches my lips.

  ‘Yeah.’ A sigh. ‘Her name’s Victoria, but she has to be different. She considers herself to be unique in every way, she’s supremely self-confident and used to getting everything she wants. She’s my uncle Jimmy’s daughter, and she has a brother, Noah.’

  I look at him, wordless, drinking all this in. He’s finally explaining his family dynamic, not that he had much choice given the conversation I’ve just heard, but he could have voided the call, switched his phone off. He didn’t have to talk to her, not with me here.

  ‘Toria followed me to Liverpool a few years ago, when she started her Degree. We’ve never been close as kids, she’s younger than me, but I made the mistake of helping her find a place to live when she got kicked out of her last place a few weeks ago and I found her a flat share with some mates of Rupert’s. She played me, came across as vulnerable and we went out a couple of times. One thing led to another, and…’

  I suddenly don’t want him to say anymore, flashes in my head of him kissing this gorgeous faceless woman, undressing her, making love to her, groaning her name. It’s obviously happened, I don’t need the finer details. Carter’s eyes are searching mine, he can obviously see the pain that’s threaded in them and as he leans forward and kisses me so softly, I can hardly feel his lips at all.

  ‘We were a couple for about two months, but I knew after a few weeks that I needed to end it. We’re polar opposites in our beliefs. Toria is beautiful but she’s obsessed with money and what it can buy, she cares about little else.’ He strokes the hair from my forehead now. ‘Apart from me, it seems.’

  I snuggle closer, closing my eyes as my forehead meets his hard chest and he tightens his grip around me, dipping his head to my neck and talking quietly into my ear.

  ‘I broke it off, as gently as I could, but she can’t seem to accept that it’s over. She keeps telling me that she loves me, as if that’s some magic word to make me love her back, and it doesn’t matter how many times I tell her that I’ve never felt that way and never will, it isn’t going in.’

  I raise my head and look into his sad green eyes. ‘The next time I go home I’m going to talk to her. I know it must be hard for her, because of our family ties and the need to see each other at functions and business meetings, she’s struggling to put our relationship behind her. If I were a stranger before we got together, she could just walk away and never see me again.’

  I kiss him softly. I’m not sure how I feel about this. It’s a potential problem, certainly, especially as she lives in Liverpool. I get the feeling that she’s going to be less than impressed when she finds out about me.

  There might be nothing to find out. Has he told you he wants you for his girlfriend? No. He hasn’t.

  I speak for the first time. ‘Carter, what is it we’re doing here?’ I whisper. I have no idea where the words have come from, my psyche, probably, but I suddenly need to know. At the very least, if he just wants a casual relationship, with no commitment, that’s fine. I’ll take my damaged heart now and run away as fast as I can, whilst I remain intacta. I’ve a feeling that I won’t be able to manage to hang onto that for very much longer.

  He looks at me appraisingly, his eyes searching again and I wonder what the hell he’s looking for when he stares at me so intently. It’s as if he’s trying to see into the darkest reaches of my mind and then gives me a smile, his own eyes clearing as he chooses what he wants to say.

  ‘That very much depends on you,’ he tells me, his voice soft. ‘What do you want to happen between us?’

  I blink. He’s seriously asking me the question? What the hell am I supposed to say to that? I’m leaving myself wide open here. If I tell him I want a relationship and he doesn’t, am I going to be able to cope with the rejection I see in his captivating eyes?

  ‘What are you offering?’ I ask cheekily and he laughs, grabbing hold of me suddenly and rolling onto his back, pulling me on top of him. I prop myself up on my elbows either side of his head and stroke the curls back from his face. He looks up at me, laughter gone now, his eyes a sea of emotion.

  ‘For you, anything,’ he whispers and, as our mouths slowly meet and our tongues connect the door to Carter’s bedroom flies open with such force, it crashes into the plaster behind it. We jump in the bed, Carter rolling me quickly off his body and dragging the duvet up as a man in his twenties strides into the room, holding Carter’s black leather jacket.

  ‘Carter – are you trying to break my neck, you knob? Booby traps behind the front door, really?’

&
nbsp; He hasn’t seen either of us yet, he’s looking at the phone held in his other hand as he approaches the bed, chucking the leather jacket onto it.

  ‘Rupert, what the fuck, man?’ Carter says in exasperation. ‘Can you knock?’

  As Rupert drops the phone from his face and stares at us both in the bed, his face is slapped with shock. His wide eyes swing from Carter to me and I’m glad that I’ve got the duvet wrapped firmly under my armpits and around my back. I give him a smile and a cheeky grin.

  ‘Nice to meet you Rupert… if a bit weird,’ I say, ‘I’m Pearl.’

  Carter’s glaring at his friend now. He hasn’t taken his eyes away from me and I give him a quick once over.

  He’s around mid-twenties, average height and build, although he looks lean under his clothes and I’ll bet he’s got a gym-body. His hair is dark blond, cut short at the sides, but left tousled at the top and he has the most amazing caramel coloured eyes, deeply set into a handsome face. Wow.

  I can’t help the flush that starts over my skin, not because I fancy him, how could I when I’m naked in bed with Carter Jackson, but I can’t help my body’s automatic reaction to such a good looking man. I think of Gemma suddenly – she’s single and looking. The poor girl’s been looking forever. Hmm. One for the long grass, but I’d love to get them together one night, see what occurs. Carter brings my thoughts back to the odd situation in hand.

  ‘Rupe, mate – I’m in bed, naked, with my girlfriend and you’re standing in the room gawping at her. Do you mind?’ He hoists a brow but I can see the clench of his jaw. His voice is light, but he’s really not happy about this and Rupert immediately backs away.