Dark

by Rachel Harley

  My head shoots round, as the person who poked me steps back a few feet and I squint up in the dim light.

  A woman, but a stranger to me. She’s tall and very beautiful, with a small oval face, long black hair parted in the middle like Morticia Adams and cold light grey eyes. Her gaze rakes disdainfully up and down me again and again. She’s slim, a size ten, I’d guess and she’s wearing in skinny jeans and a tight waistcoat, high heeled knee-length boots.

  I open and shut my mouth. I’m drunk on Southern Comfort and Carter, I have no idea who she is or what she wants, but when Carter looks over my shoulder and sees the hostile woman in front of us, he drops his head wearily, breathing a hot sigh on the bare skin of my neck.

  ‘Oh for fuck’s sake…’ he mutters and it comes to me in a blinding flash.

  Toria.

  This is it. The moment I’ve been both dreading and in some perverse way, almost looking forward to. I want to watch Carter, see how he reacts to her. I remember his conversation on the phone, the chill in his voice, the impatience, the irritation. I want to make sure that it’s still there, but I have a feeling I’ve got nothing to worry about. As I hold him close to me, there’s a thrum to his body, tension. He’s far from happy that she’s rocked up here.

  I expect him to push me gently off his lap, so that he can stand up, but he doesn’t, he actually pulls me tighter towards him, as if I’m a human shield from woman in front of us. I see someone step up beside Toria, a man. He has two drinks in his hands and he hands one to her. She takes it, not acknowledging his presence or thanking him and I give him a quick once over.

  He’s tall, good looking, with a strong, angular face, a straight nose and thick strawberry blond hair. Carter finally takes his arms from around my waist but before I can sit on the stool beside him, he turns me around and sits me back on his lap, his arms going around me again. He rests his chin on my right shoulder so that we can both see the pair in front of us.

  As Carter interlaces our fingers, I see pain and something approaching hate fleet through Toria’s eyes. They’re a weird colour, like grubby ice and I see her mouth twist she chews the inside of her cheek. She’s becoming agitated.

  ‘Alright Noah?’ Carter suddenly says over my shoulder, nodding at the man with Toria. He nods back, but his face remains expressionless.

  ‘Yeah. You?’ he returns, taking a sip of the bottle of beer in his hand and looking over at Jase and Rupert. He doesn’t speak but raises the bottle to acknowledge them. There’s a thick, awkward silence that’s fallen over all of us and it doesn’t escape my notice that Carter hasn’t formally introduced the two people in front of us. He doesn’t want them here – in fact – he wants as far away from them both as humanly possible.

  Toria still says nothing, but her eyes are locked on Carter. She lifts the wine glass to her lips, her hand trembling slightly and I pang with a thread of unexpected sympathy for her. This must be truly killing her, seeing the man she loves with his arms wrapped around another woman.

  I wriggle in Carter’s hold, feeling uncomfortable now. He lets go of me and I slide onto the stool next to him. I hope he gets the message but he evidently doesn’t, because as soon as I’m sitting down, he slings a long arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him and he kisses my temple gently. Toria smiles, or at least tries to, her lips twisting in what can only be described as a pained rictus.

  ‘Aren’t you going to introduce me, Carter?’ she grinds and when I see how she’s gazing at him, the agony, the desire, I feel a shiver of foreboding. This woman is deeply in love with Carter, maybe even as much as I am, and she’s not going to let go of him easily. Her eyes blacken when Carter picks my hand up casually and kisses my fingers slowly. Never mind me, he’s worse for rubbing her nose in it and I wonder if he’s trying to give her a message here. He must be, and if she’s not reading it then she’s stupid.

  ‘Toria – this is Pearl, my girlfriend,’ he says coolly. He flashes me a smile. ‘Pearl – Toria, my cousin and her brother, Noah.’

  I nod at Noah and he gives me one back but the expression on his face is a smooth mask. I can’t read him at all, he’s giving nothing away, but I get the impression that he and Carter aren’t comfortable around one another. There’s no chat between them since the half-hearted greeting they threw each other’s way, no enquiries about welfare, what’s been happening. Neither of them give a shit, that’s the message I’m getting, anyway.

  I finally remember my manners and I stand, plastering what I hope is a reasonably genuine looking smile on my face. I take a step forward and hold out my hand.

  ‘Nice to meet you,’ I offer. There’s a bloated beat whilst her eyes flick from my face down to my hand almost incredulously and her nose wrinkles with disgust. Touching me is the last thing she wants to do and she sips at her glass of wine, ignoring both my greeting and my hand.

  I shrug, dropping it to my side and cocking a look at Carter. His eyes have hardened, his jaw clenched at his cousin’s rudeness, but I’m not bothered in the slightest. I don’t think that I blame the poor cow. If I was in her shoes, I wouldn’t want to shake hands, either. I’d want to shove my empty glass into her perfect face.

  She finally gives me a chilling smile.

  ‘You’re so confident, aren’t you, sweetheart? You think he’s yours, that he belongs to you?’ She peals a laugh at the ceiling now. ‘Carter belongs to a lot of things, you silly little girl, and none of them are you.’ A sneer now but Carter is immediately on his feet and as he takes a step towards his ex, I place a cautioning hand on his arm. I’ve never seen him this angry.

  ‘What the fuck are you saying? You know nothing about our relationship and you’ve got about twenty seconds to get the fuck away from me, Toria, or I really am going to lose my shit with you,’ he snarls and Noah drains his drink, putting his empty bottle on a nearby table. He takes a deep breath, seeming to grow a couple of inches and a chill comes into his eyes as he looks at Carter.

  Toria gives a shrill laugh. ‘Oh lose it, Carter – you know you’ll come back to me, baby, like you always do.’ She flashes a look at me now. ‘She’ll never be able to give you what I can – I know it, you do and so should she, if she actually has a brain in her ugly, bovine head!’ she spits and my mouth falls open at the venom in this woman’s voice. I’ve held back up until now, but as I’ve previously told Carter, I’m no shrinking violet and I am not going to be insulted like this.

  I can feel the tension sweeping through all four of our friends behind us but I resist looking around. I can only focus on one thing right now and that is defending myself against this poisonous witch, who’s appeared in a puff of green smoke in front of us and ruined our night out. I have seconds to decide what to say and she laughs now, shaking her head.

  ‘Christ! Thicker than I thought!’ She flashes a look at Carter now. ‘Must be like fucking a blow up doll!’

  I suddenly beam a grin at Toria, all my threads of earlier sympathy for her snapping. I don’t need words. They won’t hurt her anyway, she’s armour plated. I know what will hurt her, though, and hurt her badly and I take a step back, standing next to Carter and wrapping my arms around him, sliding them under his jacket. My eyes never leaving hers, I drift my left hand slowly down Carter’s sculpted body, making sure she sees me and her breath hitches, her eyes widening with real horror.

  It’s evidently too much for her, because when my stroking fingers drop to his cock and I blatantly caress it over his suit trousers, I see something in her eyes snap. Hissing with fury at my audacity, she takes a sudden step forward, her right arm coming back and before I know what’s happening, she’s thrown the entire contents of her wine glass all over me.

  I blink, gasping with shock, staggering back from Carter for a moment and without thinking I pivot, bringing my right fist back and I slam it hard into the centre of her twisted face.

  She goes down as if poleaxed and I stare almost vacantly at the place she was standing before all hell lets loose. Toria’s tryin
g to scramble up from the floor, bellowing and shrieking, her pretty face now a mask of dark red blood which is pouring from her nose and dripping from her chin. Noah has hold of his sister now, around the waist as she struggles against him, trying to get to me and then the door staff are there.

  Someone has hold of me but within a second I’m yanked away from him and back against Carter. He glares darkly at the burly security guard.

  ‘Get your hands off her!’ he barks. ‘We’re leaving!’ He cocks a head at Rupert but I don’t look to see if they’re coming. My eyes are fixed on Toria’s retreating form, Noah having to hold her up and he half carries her out, trailed by a security guard. The two others that arrived melt back into the throng now they can see the crisis has been averted and Carter takes me by the hand as I follow him numbly out of the pub.

  What the fuck are you going to do?

  Jesus Christ, I’m in deep shit. I’ve broken his cousin’s nose. What on earth was I thinking?

  I’ve never been a violent person – I wouldn’t even say I was quick tempered. I have a temper, and it’s fierce when I lose it, but I’ve never punched anyone in the face in my life. Alright, I’ve smashed an empty bottle over the back of Caleb McLeod’s vile head, but that was to save all our lives. I can’t believe I punched her. I don’t even know where it came from.

  It came from her insults and then hurling a drink in your face. You were provoked.

  I was, true. But I provoked her by stroking Carter’s cock, what did I expect was going to happen? My violent retaliation was too much and I feel hot pressure build behind my eyes as Carter shoves the door to the bar open and leads me out into the cool night air. It’s dark now, but when I breathe deeply, instead of fresh oxygen making me feel better, nausea churns. I’ve had more to drink tonight again than is good for me. I might not be steaming, but the alcohol has clearly unleashed a nasty side to me that I never knew existed, provoked or not. Hot fear streaks again as I’m reminded that Carter’s family will never accept me now. His dad already probably hates me – for keeping his son from his family commitments, but now I’ve smashed his niece in the face, well… I’m fucked. There’s no other word for it.

  Fear turns to curling terror when I realise that Carter’s family might be the least of my problems. If Toria goes to the Police and I’m prosecuted for assault, I won’t be able to work at The Guardian. I’ll have a criminal record and my belly hitches thickly, a heave climbing and I put my hand over my mouth. Oh God. Justin is going to go fucking crazy.

  Everyone else in our group has piled out behind us, but they’re not saying anything. I turn my head to see them huddled behind Carter and I, Toria and Noah standing about ten feet away. Toria has her head back, someone has given her a handkerchief and she’s holding it to her face, trying to stem the dark blood from her streaming nose. There’s so much of it, her nose has to be broken. I’ve ruined her looks.

  Noah goes to touch his sister’s shoulder, but she shrugs him off violently, tipping her head forward now and swiping the bloodied cloth over her mouth and chin. I quail inside at the look she’s giving me. I have never had a human being look at me with so much raw, visceral hate, her lips pulling back and she bares her crimson teeth at me, before hawking and spitting blood on the pavement in front of her.

  ‘This isn’t over bitch, so don’t think for one second that it is!’ she hisses at me, but her eyes slide to Carter as soon as she hears his voice.

  ‘You did this, Toria. What you hoped to achieve with this tonight I have absolutely no idea, but you insulted my girlfriend and threw a drink in her face. What the fuck did you think was going to happen?’

  Noah steps forward now.

  ‘Carter, don’t be a prick! Your girlfriend was feeling you up in front of her, and you allowed it. You know how Toria feels about you! She didn’t deserve to get her fucking nose broken!’ he fires and I drop my eyes with shame. He’s right, she didn’t but she’s not innocent in all of this. Despite it being a struggle, I tried to be polite to her and she threw it back in my face.

  Carter throws his cousin a scornful laugh. ‘I allowed it? Of course I did – Pearl is my partner and she can touch my body whenever she feels like it,’ he retorts. My eyes shoot to Toria and I see her quiver with rage and agony at the words. If there’s one thing she wants, it’s to touch Carter’s body. She’s beside herself, I can read her like a book. All she wants is for Carter to take her home, clean her up and then fuck all her agony away and she knows full well that it’s not going to happen.

  Carter turns to her himself now. ‘I’ll pay for your surgery, alright?’ he says and she snarls at him.

  ‘Fuck you, Carter! I don’t want your fucking money!’ she shouts. ‘Screw this!’ She turns to go but then hesitates, her head shooting to Carter again and she glares at him. ‘You have responsibilities, Carter and the sooner you realise that, the better it’s going to be for everyone.’ Her words are calm now, icy, measured and I look up at Carter, expecting him to fire some retort to shoot her down in flames but it doesn’t come. Their eyes are locked and as the seconds tick by, I see his jaw clench.

  ‘Don’t contact me again, Toria,’ he says quietly but his voice is full of steel. ‘I mean it. If we’re to maintain a relationship for the sake of our families, you need to leave me alone. Don’t make me take the step of talking to Jimmy.’

  Toria says nothing, but her eyes are searching his, skipping back and forth, but whatever she’s looking for, she evidently doesn’t find. She flings the bloodied balled up cotton at her feet and pivots, striding away towards the nearest taxi rank.

  Noah hesitates, Carter raking an agitated hand through his hair.

  ‘I’d advise taking her to A&E,’ he says wearily. ‘I meant what I said. I’ll pay for any cosmetic surgery she needs to have.’

  Noah throws him a look.

  ‘You’re playing with fire, Carter,’ he says finally, before turning and jogging to catch up with Toria. He tries to slide a comforting arm around her shoulders, but she throws it off furiously, her heels beating an angry tattoo as she strides away.

  He’s playing with fire? Why?

  I can’t even begin to think about that now, I’ve got problems of my own. Real problems and I sag against Carter, all the strength seeming to drain out of me. His arms go around me, his chin on the top of my head as Gemma and Donna come scuttling forward. I’m so traumatised, I don’t even react to the fact that Rupert’s holding Gemma’s hand.

  ‘Jesus, what the fuck happened?’ Gemma says urgently and I relay the conversation with Toria that they didn’t hear.

  ‘Who is she?’ Donna asks and Carter tells her, kissing the top of my head and then easing my trembling body away from him. I’ve had such a brilliant time today, all I’ve felt is love, joy and laughter but the last twenty minutes have dumped a big bucket of black slime over all of it. Sickness churns again. The rest of my night isn’t going to pan out as I’d been looking forward to, either, although sex should be the absolute last thing on my mind.

  Carter is well within his rights to be absolutely furious with me. I’ve got him into the shit yet again with his family, that’s three times in just one week. His life has become carnage since meeting me. I keep my face buried in his sweet smelling body as he informs Gemma and Donna of his history with Toria. I want to go home and I shiver, Carter’s arms tightening around me.

  ‘I’m taking Pearl home,’ he tells them. ‘I won’t be back tonight, Rupert – I’ll see you tomorrow, probably.’ He turns, releasing me and taking my hand and Gemma and Don give me a quick hug, telling me not to worry and that they’ll ring me tomorrow. I nod sadly. What a fucking mess.

  Carter says nothing at all as he hails a cab, shoving me gently into the back seat and then climbing in beside me. He gives my address to the driver and leans back, pulling me into his arms and I slide my hands underneath his jacket again, drawing strength from his warmth and the comforting thump of his heart under my ear. I just want to stay here, buried in him.
I don’t want to have to face up to what I’ve done tonight, what the consequences might be. Far reaching for me, if the worst happens and I shut my eyes, biting my lip. If I get a criminal conviction and lose my job at The Guardian, will Justin and Ellen ask me to leave the flat? They might be so disgusted with me that they can’t abide having me around. What will I do? I’ll be homeless and jobless again.

  I shiver with fear now. I’ll be on the streets once more, full circle, back to my desperate beginnings.

  No, you won’t. Do you really think that Carter would let that happen to you?

  I don’t, of course I don’t. But what if I lose him, too? What if he decides that this is all too much trouble? I know that we’re bound tightly by… what? I don’t know – at least not as far as he’s concerned, but what if something takes him away from me?

  Shutting my thoughts down, I try and clear my mind. I’m jumping the gun big time here, but I’ve felt nothing apart from blinding pleasure for so many days now, I’m not equipped to deal with the fallout from my actions tonight and I’m panicking.

  I look up at Carter in the dim light, his face illuminated with a flash of amber every few seconds as we pass under the street lamps and he gives me a thin smile as he looks down at me. I try and read him, searching his eyes in the half light. His smile has put the wind up me, it looked a bit forced.

  ‘I…’

  He puts a finger to my lips.

  ‘Not now. Wait until we get home,’ he says quietly. I nod against his shirt, closing my eyes and neither of us say anything else for the remainder of the ride home. I get out of the cab when it stops at the bottom of the driveway and Carter pays, taking my hand. The car purrs away into the night and I fish my key out of my bag as I walk wearily up the drive with Carter towards the front door.