Crucible of Fear

by D. W. Whitlock

  “So?” Abigail asked.

  “So, he jogs up the hill, gets a running start and comes down perfect, knees bent, hair blowing back.”

  “He was really bookin’” Colin said.

  “God, don’t remind me,” Dante said. “Matty comes to the bottom of the hill, really moving at this point. He dips low to the ground and hits the ramp dead center.” Dante smacked the table with a hand. “And the whole thing rips apart, right down the middle with a huge crackling explosion.”

  Abigail laughed, her eyes sparkling.

  “Matty kept going, arms wobbling, hits the gravel and flies into an oak bush. Two bunnies popped out, trying to escape whatever had demolished their house.”

  “Two bunnies!” Abigail screamed.

  “I don’t remember the bunnies,” Colin said, laughing.

  “Did the bully get hurt?” Abigail said.

  “Not a scratch. Very, very cross though. Like a bear in the woods cross. Colin was on the ground cracking up, so he was no help. I got cut on a branch trying to pull Matty out of the bushes, but he was stuck. I gave up and we took off, Matty screaming bloody revenge. Later, the cut got really infected. That’s how I got this scar,” Dante said, pointing to the ragged line of white skin on his elbow.

  “What about that one on your forehead?” Abigail said.

  Dante’s grin faded.

  “You never told me how you got that one. Did the bunnies come back for revenge?”

  “Yeah, something like that,” Dante said and stood, beginning to close the take-out cartons. “Time to get ready for bed, Abigail.”

  Colin poked at his food with a chopstick. He flashed a nervous smile before looking down at his plate again.

  “Okay,” she said and got up, looking back and forth between them. “You got your elephant, Daddy?”

  Dante shook his head. “My room, I think. In my wallet.”

  “I haven’t found the baby yet,” she said. “Can I look for it before I go to bed?”

  “Tomorrow, Abigail.”

  “Okay,” she said, drawing out the word. “G’night Colin.”

  “Night.”

  They sat in silence as Abigail’s footsteps echoed across the floor and faded down the hall. They sipped beer in silence until they heard the muffled hiss of the shower.

  “She’s a little Michelle, isn’t she?” Colin said. “I’m sorry I missed so much.”

  “Yeah,” Dante said. “About that. I need to be careful, here. Okay? She lost her mom and I can’t take a chance that you’re going to be in her life again then…not. Understand?”

  “Of course. I don’t want to rush things. I just miss you, man. You know?”

  Kelly walked in from the back, wearing jeans and black tank top, the airy scent of lilac in her wake.

  Colin’s eyes lit up. “Oh my god, you’re…”

  “That’s me,” Kelly said smiling brightly. She put out her hand and Colin grasped it in slow motion.

  “Hi,” Colin said. “Katrina Steel was my favorite character. You kicked ass on that show.”

  “Thanks,” Kelly said. “Did all my own stunts.”

  “That’s amazing,” Colin said, still shaking her hand.

  “Kelly Sheppard,” Dante said. “Meet Colin Murray. An old friend.”

  “Nice to meet you, old friend,” she said as she withdrew her hand and glanced at Dante. “Thanks for letting me use your computer. Something’s wrong with my Internet again.”

  “Anytime. You’re still good to watch Abigail tomorrow night?”

  “Wouldn’t miss girls’ night for anything. We’re going to stay up way past ten and talk about boys. Or maybe I’ll show her some more kick boxing moves.” She jabbed at the air a few times. “Nice to meet you Colin,” Kelly said as she left. Colin watched her go.

  “That’s your babysitter?”

  “Neighbor actually. Well, a friend. But, yes, she watches Abigail for me.”

  “Jesus, Danny boy,” Colin said, shaking his head.

  Dante finished putting the cartons in the fridge and sat back down with two fresh bottles of beer. “I had a look at your deck.”

  “You did? When?” Colin asked.

  “When I took a break from clunking around the house.”

  “What did you think?”

  “I think…maybe it’s what we’ve been looking for. Could give us an edge.”

  “That’s great, Dante. Really.”

  “I’ll call Bob Bainbridge and set up a meeting so you two can go over the financials. If everything looks good, we can sign the contracts and get started. How does Kellerman figure into this exactly?”

  “Oh, I won’t be doing this through Kellerman Digital,” said Colin as he rubbed his hands together and grinned. “This will be my little side hustle.”

  “They’re okay with that?”

  “What they don’t know…”

  “Colin. I want this to be above board.”

  “It will be. It is. Don’t worry about them.”

  They fell into silence again. Dante rotated his beer bottle, trying to read the small print on the label. Colin tapped his plate with a chopstick.

  Tink. Tink. Tink.

  “You ever think about it?”

  “No,” Dante said. “It’s been what, twenty years?”

  “Twenty-one. Twenty-one years. I think about it all the time.” He tapped his chopstick on the plate again, little discordant notes until he dropped it on the table. “I tried to bury it, but it was always there. In the shadows,” Colin said wiggling his fingers. His face fell and he stared at the table. “Nobody blamed me, for what…I did. Which made it worse in a way. Like it didn’t matter. But it did matter. To me it did, anyway.” Colin’s eyes went glassy as he stared somewhere faraway. “I was just so scared all the time after that. Remember? Therapists couldn’t do shit. Meds helped a little, but the fear was always just…there, no matter what.”

  Colin finished off his beer and set the bottle down a bit too hard. He twitch-blinked, eyes catching Dante’s. “It sure helped you though. After you got out of the hospital, you shot up almost three inches while I seemed to shrink. You started playing basketball, got girls. You were a totally different person and I was still just ‘Twitch’.”

  “You did what you had to do. The cops agreed. I don’t remember much, but I’ll always remember that. I just wish you just didn’t take is so hard,” Dante said.

  “Yeah, me too.”

  “After three days in a coma, I just figured life couldn’t get much worse than that.”

  “Yeah, you were fearless after that. You wanted to do something, you just did it. Didn’t have quite the same effect on me,” Colin added.

  “Well, you weren’t the one in a coma,” Dante said.

  “Sometimes I wish I was.”

  “You just hid in your house all the time. I couldn’t get you to do anything. Well, anything outside.”

  “I had my computers. My coding. We just found a different way to deal with what happened, I guess. I mean we went into business together later, didn’t we?”

  “Yeah, we did. I hate to lay more guilt on you, but you left at the worst time. Business was really picking up and your pipelines made everything run like clockwork. Then Michelle died, I had to raise a toddler, run a company. And you skated. We had plans, Colin.”

  “You had plans. I had loans. My folks didn’t have money like your dad did. Hell, I’m still paying off my loans. When that job offer from Kellerman came along, I couldn’t pass it up. The money was just too good and it was all R and D. Neural nets, artificial intelligence, machine learning. Cutting edge. It’s what I’d always wanted to do. Not pipelines and batch processes.”

  “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about how we were working together, everything was going fine, then you just became a ghost.”

  Colin clenched his jaw again before exhaling loudly. “I didn’t mean to just…disappear. You were the ‘what if’ in my life, and it was just too hard to be around.”
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  “The what if?”

  “Yeah. The what if I weren’t a loser,” Colin said, flashing a lopsided grin. “I mean, look at you. You got this crazy shit going on in your life, just got your toes hacked off for chrissakes and you just, handle it, you know? I was just tired of seeing you win all the time. And when didn’t you have girls chasing you? From when we were teenagers, up through college. Even now.” Colin blinked, whole face twitching. “The few times I did go out with you and your college brosefs, well, let’s just say that pussy shrapnel theory was bullshit.”

  “Pussy shrapnel?”

  “Yeah, any girls who didn’t want you, or them, would be left over for me. Pussy shrapnel.”

  The bathroom door opened at the end of the hall and Abigail crossed over to her room dressed in a thick robe. After a moment the light in her room went out.

  “As the father of a young girl,” Dante said, voice low, “I don’t ever want to hear those words in this house again.”

  Colin drank some more beer and continued. “If you hadn’t sent that hooker to the dorms that one time, I would’ve never gotten laid.”

  “You knew?”

  “Not until later when I thought about it some more. Figured she was working off one of your scripts. I mean she was way, way outta my league, there to meet her boyfriend but got stood up again, tears in her eyes. Good stuff. Very convincing. Like I said, you always were the better storyteller.”

  “Sorry.”

  Colin took Dante’s beer from his hand and drank long deep swallows before setting the bottle down with a thunk. The other three bottles near him wobbled. When he spoke again, his voice was louder, more brittle. “Don’t be. Shit, your heart was in the right place. Then you got your first cherry job right after school and I was barely scraping by writing banking software. Fast forward a few years, my good ol’ buddy Dante is striking out on his own. ‘Hey Twitch, wanna come work for me?’”

  He was almost shouting now.

  “Colin…”

  “Oh, sorry.” He held a finger to his lips. “Shhhhh. School day tomorrow.” He downed the remaining beer and held up the bottle to one eye like a telescope. “Got any more?”

  Dante shook his head. He hadn’t taken one sip before Colin had snatched it away.

  “Then I got the call from Kellerman,” Colin said. “It was great, man. I was with others of my own kind. None of us had lives. So, I buried myself in my work, wouldn’t leave the office for days at a time. Shit, sometimes weeks. We made some real breakthroughs, but…all that repressed shit wormed its way back to the top and I just cracked.”

  “I didn’t know,” Dante said as a tinge of anger flared up inside.

  “That’s okay. Oscar-worthy hookers weren’t going to fix this one. I moved back home for a while. Got some help and got better. I am better. Sorry I waited so long to get in touch, but the longer I waited, the harder it was to call.”

  “Then you just show up one day,” Dante said, “the same day my life goes to shit.”

  Colin stared for a moment before he blinked, face twitching. “What are you saying?”

  “I think you know.”

  “Do you think I’d be begging you for a contract if I was pulling this other shit?”

  “I really don’t know.”

  Colin stared back, eyes glassy. “After what I did for you all those years ago? I’ve had to live with that every day since, man, not you. How can you even think that?”

  “I don’t know what to think.”

  “I’m bored outta my skull at Kellerman, okay? I was demoted after my medical leave. ‘Light Duty’ they called it, but it’s a fucking demotion. Better than getting fired, but I don’t get to work on the cool stuff anymore. Listen, I’m trying to get my life back together. I thought if I…ah, fuck it,” he said, swiping the beer bottles off the table. One shattered against the cupboard causing shards of green glass to rain down. “Besides, look at you,” Colin screamed as he rose to his feet, glass crunching underfoot. “Cool as a cucumber. Nothing ever gets to ol’ Dante!”

  “Keep your fucking voice down,” Dante hissed through his teeth as he reached across the table and grabbed Colin’s shirt front. He glanced down the hallway but the light under Abigail’s door stayed dark. “I’m scared to death, Colin. Understand? I’ve never been so scared in my life. Somebody is fucking with me and I don’t know who or why. I saw my toes hacked to pieces. Pieces. I can still feel them, but I look down and they’re not there. So, listen to me you wormy little shit, I have a daughter to take care of and a few hundred people who rely on me to keep it together. Whatever happens to me, they come first.” He pounded the table with each word that followed. “They come first.”

  Dante let go and Colin fell back into his chair, shoulders slumped.

  “I keep it together because I have to. Can’t just lose my shit and drop off the face of the earth, then show up again like everything’s peachy.”

  Colin stared at the table, not moving. “I’m gonna go now.” He rose, the chair making a rude sound as it slid back. Tears slid down his face as he trudged through the living room. “I told myself it’d been too long.”

  “Colin, hold on a minute,” Dante said, following him.

  The thin man kept moving to the front door in a daze. Dante grabbed Colin’s arm and spun him around. His eyes were dark orbs buried in purple hollows.

  “Look at me, Colin. I know it isn’t you. Okay? It’s just some punk ass hackers. It isn’t you. Alright?”

  Colin nodded and wiped his face with the back of hand. “Got a little crazy, didn’t I?”

  “We both did.”

  Dante’s phone buzzed and he slipped it from his pocket. “Hold on a minute, Naomi.” He placed a palm over the bottom of the phone. “I got to take this. Are we good?”

  “Yeah, we’re good,” Colin said, turning to go. He trudged to the front door and turned the knob.

  “Hey,” Dante called out to him. “Ellis Media summer bash this Friday night. You coming?”

  Colin glanced back at him, a slight smile turning up the corners of his mouth. “Wouldn’t miss it.” He pulled the door closed behind him and Dante heard the alarm beep as it armed for the night.

  “Hey,” Dante said into the phone as he went back to kitchen. Glass shards glittered on the floor as he turned on the overhead lights. “Shit.”

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, fine. Just got a little mess to clean up here. How’s things at the office?”

  “Everything’s good,” Naomi said. “And don’t worry, I covered like you asked. You pulled a hammy playing racket ball with a potential client. Everyone bought it.”

  “Perfect. You’re a godsend, Naomi.”

  “I am, aren’t I?” They fell silent for a long time. “Want some company tonight?”

  Dante squeezed his eyes shut. More than anything. “Everything ready for Friday night?”

  “Yep. Good to go.”

  “Okay. See you tomorrow,” Dante said and disconnected.

  Careful to sidestep the glass on the floor, he slid the Faraday cage out from under the table. The various devices slid around inside, plastic and glass ticking.

  His phone vibrated. It was Naomi again. If he picked up, he knew he wouldn’t be able to say no.

  Dante placed his phone in with the other devices and closed the lid. The phone fell silent. He retrieved a broom and dustpan from the closet, left foot thudding on the floor as he swept up the shattered glass.

  CHAPTER 45

  Naomi

  Dante strolled through the busy studio floor, nodding to those who noticed him or came over to ask how he was doing. Most ignored him, ear buds tucked in their ears, working on the various projects Ellis Media currently had on their slate.

  Dante was impressed.

  There were no silly cat videos playing on second monitors, no online shopping windows open. Naomi had really kept the place in order while he was out and ran a tight ship. Tighter than him.

  Her cover st
ory worked as well. Nobody looked at him twice. Attacked by killer robot was something he wanted to keep out of the rumor mill for a while. He wouldn’t mind telling people that each toe was worth a million bucks, though.

  He went into the fishbowl and dialed Dmitry Molchalin. It had been several days without a word. The call went to voice mail again.

  What the hell? Had Dmitry found out who was doing this to him and…what?

  The phone on the conference table blipped. “Mr. Ellis? Megan Zhou on line three for you.”

  Dante picked up. “Hi, Megan. Tell me something good.”

  “Mr. Vikal has made a decision,” Megan said. “He wants to go with you. This is huge, Dante. Print and broadcast. That donkey thing really disgusted him but when Naomi called and explained what was going on, he was angry that it happened to you. I asked him if he was sure and he really doubled down. He said it was wrong and it could’ve happened to anyone.”

  “That’s great news,” Dante said. “Listen, don’t tell Naomi just yet alright? I’m going to bump her up to executive producer and I want her first account to be you. I’ll announce it tonight at the summer bash.”

  “Awesome! I love Naomi. See you then.”

  They said goodbye and Dante hung up. It was great news. Really great. This was a huge account. Just the shot in the arm they needed.

  He couldn’t have cared less right then.

  Dante dialed Molchalin once more then disconnected as it went to voice mail.

  Time to pay Shadow Trace another visit.

  CHAPTER 46

  Vacancy

  Dante stood at the center of the Shadow Trace office, watching as dust motes crawled through shafts of light that shot through boarded-up windows. Nothing remained of what he’d seen on his first visit. Not the crisp chill in the air, the large, black cubes that dominated the space or the server farm enclosure at the rear. Everything had been swept clean. The heat was close and still, as if the room was holding a stale breath.

  “Over the phone, you said something about an office move. What’s your time line look like?” said a paunchy man in tan slacks and blue button up shirt. Keys jangled as he came over to join Dante. A small lock box was clenched in one hand. Beads of perspiration dotted his balding head and dark sweat stained both underarms. Pinned on his left breast was a shiny name tag that read: Sunset Realty, Charlie Melton.