Benson Siblings Series: A Dark Romance Boxset

by Sarah Bailey

  “No, but you don’t have to do that for me.”

  We were supposed to be friends. I wanted to feel like we were on an equal footing. I wasn’t flush, but because I didn’t go out much, I had money to spare.

  “I want to.”

  “Why?”

  He didn’t answer for a long moment. It was only when we got close to Frankie’s that his voice made me turn my head up to look at him.

  “Let me start by saying I’m not doing anything out of pity or charity. I genuinely want to know you, Ellie. I want your friendship because I like your company and I think you like mine, but you don’t give much away. You going to object to me wanting to treat you right?”

  I opened my mouth and closed it again, a little surprised by his admission. What could I say to that? What girl didn’t want to be treated right? Even a girl like me who’d had little kindness in her life wasn’t going to object.

  I didn’t say a word until we were in the bar and I’d bought us both a round of Amaretto Sours. Sat in my regular booth, which was surprisingly free, I looked up at him. We were closer together this time. Saturday nights were busier and louder in Frankie’s.

  “I like your company too,” I mumbled.

  His resulting smile took my breath away. The feelings in my chest were so alien. Everything about this was to me. I had to get a grip and fast.

  “I wanted to talk about what happened to me,” I blurted out before he could comment on what I’d said.

  “I’m listening.”

  I took a sip of my drink, just to settle my damn jumpy nerves. What was it about James? One minute I was perfectly calm around him and the next he was saying nice things to me and it had me acting all crazy. I didn’t understand myself or what was happening here.

  Squashing down all those weird feelings, I put my glass down and turned to him fully.

  “When I was fourteen… I was sold to a man who kept me for two years before I was given to another. There were others after that. For six long years I was living in hell and even though it’s been two and a half years since I was freed, I’m still not able to do things most normal people can.”

  I called it being rescued, because essentially that’s what it was. Gilbert Davenport’s house was raided by the police. He was my last master. They found me chained to a wall, half-starved with bruises all over my body. I was malnourished and mute. It was four months before I spoke and a year before I looked like a normal human being again. No longer skin and bones.

  “I didn’t speak much during those six years. It took me a long time to remember to use my voice. Even now, it’s weird for me to sit here and talk to you.”

  The way he was looking at me had my chest feeling tight. There was so much compassion and empathy in his expression.

  “It’s not that you make me uncomfortable, it’s… I’ve always had a hard time with men because of what happened. You’re actually the first guy I’ve had a real conversation with… and the first person I’ve willingly… um… touched.”

  I looked away.

  “It’s kind of embarrassing to admit that.”

  I swear a full minute ticked by before I felt a warm hand cover mine on the table. I shuddered under the unexpected touch. My heart was in my throat as I stared down at his hand on mine.

  “Is this okay?” he asked me, his voice low and laced with concern.

  I looked up at him under my lashes.

  “Yeah,” I whispered and I was being honest. James touching me was weird, but not for the reasons I expected. It didn’t make my scars itch nor give me a sickening feeling in my stomach. I just felt his warmth seeping into me. And that really was okay.

  “I appreciate your honesty, you know that, right?”

  I nodded.

  “Can I ask questions?”

  “If you want to.”

  He slid his hand off mine and gave me a lopsided smile. The contact was severed in that moment. I almost wished he hadn’t removed his hand because it made me feel safe and had me wondering what it would be like to be held by him.

  Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me this evening?

  “I don’t know how to ask this.”

  “Just say it.”

  Nothing he could ask me would be off limits really. I’d already made up my mind about him. He could have access to the darkest parts of my captivity if he cared to know about them.

  “How long after you were… sold did the abuse start?”

  “He gave me a month to adjust. Then he…” I stopped because that memory of the first time was awful. It hurt so much.

  “Ellie…”

  “He beat me with his belt because I told him I would never submit to him. At first, I was just his slave, it was only when I’d been with him six months and I’d turned fifteen that he… well, I’m sure you can guess what he did.”

  His blue eyes got dark and stormy, his expression twisted into that of disgust and horror.

  “Shit,” he muttered.

  I wish I could say I’d had one single positive sexual experience in my life, but the sorry truth was I hadn’t. None of it had been pleasant for me. All my memories were associated with pain and distress. One day I’d find someone I trusted enough to show me how it could be. Touch me in the right ways. Give me pleasure instead of pain. I wanted to experience that. I wasn’t going to let what happened to me in the past ruin the rest of my life.

  “Bet when you agreed to this you didn’t think I’d turn out to be this dark and twisty,” I said, trying to make light of it all. “I totally wouldn’t blame you for finding this too much.”

  His brow furrowed.

  “Ellie, what happened to you is really fucked up.”

  “I know it is.”

  “It doesn’t mean I think any differently of you.”

  “You don’t?”

  He shook his head. I felt like he wanted to reassure me with a touch again but he didn’t. I wanted him to, so it bothered me. How could I tell him I wasn’t afraid of him?

  “No… Can I tell you something that has to stay between us?”

  “You already told me a story today.”

  “It’s not really my story to tell, but I want you to know.”

  I nodded, curiosity getting the better of me. Who was I going to tell anyway? He was literally my only friend in this world, in all honesty. At least I hoped we were friends now. We did agree last time that if we both showed up, we could officially call ourselves that.

  “My sisters, the twins… Our father took their, um, virginity when they were fifteen to get back at Dante for taking us away from him.”

  His voice was so quiet when he said it, I had to strain to hear him over the noise of the bar. And my heart fractured in my chest at the knowledge.

  “I didn’t know, Dante only told me the truth just before our dad was arrested. It’s really fucked up and the girls still suffer from flashbacks.”

  Just when I thought his father couldn’t get any worse. I obviously didn’t know the full extent of the abuse, but the things James told me and the charges brought against his father made it obvious Zachary Benson was just pure evil. Anyone who could do that to their own children lacked morals.

  “Your father deserves to be locked up for life.”

  “I hate him. He tore our family apart. We’re still trying to put the pieces back together and find some normality. It’s been a weird time, getting the business back to where it should be.”

  “I can imagine.”

  We lapsed into silence. I felt awful for his sisters because I knew what it was like to be taken against your will. Especially since they were still suffering from flashbacks all these years later.

  “Listen, it’s my birthday next week,” he said, his expression cautious.

  “Oh… you’ll be twenty four, right?”

  “Yeah. Liora’s arranged for us to have a small get together at the weekend.”

  He shifted in his seat, almost a
s if he was unsure of himself.

  “Are you free on Thursday?”

  I blinked. I was on an early shift that day, so I’d be done by four.

  “Um, in the evening. Sure… Why?”

  “Hold on.”

  He dug something out of his coat pocket and pulled one of the drink napkins towards us. I watched him write on it before he spun it around to me.

  I promise to meet you outside Benson’s offices on Thursday at 7 pm for birthday cocktails.

  I raised an eyebrow.

  “Is Thursday your actual birthday?”

  “It is.”

  “You really want to spend it with me?”

  He pointed at his signature below the note.

  “I think you have your answer right there.”

  I shook my head, grinning as I signed my name next to his. He picked up the napkin and put it in his coat pocket. Then he stole my drink napkin and wrote down something else on it before he folded it, took my hand and tucked it into my fingers.

  “What’s this?”

  “Look at it later.”

  My curiosity almost got the better of me, but I popped it into my coat pocket without looking at it. What could he possibly have written down on it?

  We stayed out for another drink before calling it a night. I thanked him for dinner and got on my bus. I sat at the back and pulled the napkin he’d given me out of my pocket. I hadn’t honestly expected him to want to see me again so soon, let alone spent his birthday with me.

  I unfolded the napkin and stared down at the number on it.

  Hold up, did he just give me his phone number?

  I dug out my phone from my purse and entered it in. Pulling up my messages, I tapped one out to him.

  ME: You sure you want to spend your birthday with me?

  JAMES: I am. Don’t be late.

  I grinned.

  ME: I won’t… friends, right?

  JAMES: Friends.

  I felt a little giddy. Making a friend was another milestone. I’d made more progress in the past two months meeting James than I had done in years.

  Being around you makes me happy. I wish I could tell you how much.

  Chapter Seven

  James

  I’d taken Ellie’s advice and written a note for Cassie to say sorry for the way I’d treated her. I left it on her desk on Monday. So far, she hadn’t come to talk to me, but I hoped she’d read it. At least it made me feel less like a dick for never having apologised to her. Cassie was the first person I ever really saw for a long period of time. Mostly if I felt the need to get laid, it was a quick scroll through an app for a hook up.

  I didn’t resent Avery for it, but she’d screwed with my head. Relationships didn’t come easy to me. Neither did letting other people in. That part wasn’t her fault. It was the other things she did. Things neither of us could take back.

  ***

  She wasn’t saying much. Avery turned up at the front door half an hour ago. Dante was out which I was glad of as he’d been acting like a complete dick recently. It was just me and Brent in the house. He was in his basement flat though.

  She sat on my bed, fiddling with the covers. She was never this quiet. I took a seat next to her and covered her hands with my own.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Everything,” she whispered, not meeting my eyes.

  “Ave…”

  “Dad told me if I don’t apply to universities to do architecture, he won’t pay for any of it. I know I can get loans, but Mum looked so disappointed in me and it kills me. I want to study fine art. You know that.”

  They’d been having this argument for months on end. Ever since Avery told them she wanted to pursue her art.

  “I know. I’m sorry. I hoped they’d come around.”

  She shook her head.

  “They don’t accept it. I’m their heir. That’s all he seems to care about. Having me take over when he retires.”

  I put my arms out to her. She folded herself into my embrace, resting her head on my shoulder.

  “What would I do without you?” she whispered.

  I hated seeing her suffer. Having parental expectations sucked. My circumstances were worsening now Dante seemed to be talking to Dad again. After everything that happened, I couldn’t believe him. It was like the abuse never occurred. And now I had to go work for my dad’s fashion house when I finished school. My aspirations weren’t valid apparently.

  “I could say the same thing.”

  Avery was family to me. My best friend and confidant. I thought the world of her.

  She lifted her head from my shoulder. Her eyes roamed across my face. There was something in them I’d never seen before. Friends didn’t look at each other the way she was looking at me.

  “I’m so lost. I need an anchor. Something to keep me afloat.”

  She reached up and ran her fingers across my jaw.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I want to feel. I need something more than this dull ache in my chest.”

  “But—”

  I never got a chance to finish my sentence because she pressed her mouth against mine in a sudden movement which caught me completely off guard. Avery’s lips were on mine. Avery. The girl I thought of as my sister was kissing me.

  I put my hands on her shoulders and gently moved her back.

  “Seriously, what the hell are you doing?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level and even.

  My heart thundered in my chest.

  “I… I thought…”

  “You’re like my sister, Ave, why would you kiss me?”

  It felt wrong. Wrong to do this with her of all people. I wasn’t a virgin. I’d been with a girl before and kissed a few, but this was Avery for crying out loud. Avery whose hand I held on the first day of secondary school because she was scared. The girl I’d played rough and tumble with. The same girl I’d punched George fucking Delaney for because he’d spread shit about them sleeping together. The tosser deserved it. His older sister, Hannah, had always had a ridiculous crush on Dante.

  “You’re the only person in this world I trust. Please, I need you, James. I love you.”

  Those three words broke me. Loving someone didn’t mean you wanted to kiss them. I thought we had a platonic relationship with each other.

  “I’m here for you, but not like that.”

  “Don’t you think I’m attractive enough for you?”

  “What the fuck? Avery, you’re stunning. Most of the boys in sixth form want to sleep with you, hell, I reckon most of the boys in school have a secret crush on you.”

  It was true. She was beautiful, but that didn’t mean I wanted to have sex with her.

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  I couldn’t move. The problem? This was Avery. I cared about her far too much to allow a mistake like this to happen when she was clearly emotional and vulnerable. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t stop this?

  She leant towards me again and this time I didn’t push her away. Everything screamed at me to tell her no, but the rational side of me who cared about the idiocy of this idea was drowned out by her hand falling on my crotch and the other curling around my neck.

  It didn’t matter that she was like my family or that I shouldn’t want to have sex with my best friend.

  My stupid teenage hormones raged out of control.

  And I was lost knowing our friendship would never be the same again.

  ***

  I shook myself out of the recollection of how she’d come onto me. How it felt to be with her intimately when all I’d ever felt for her before was a kinship. That night changed everything between us.

  I ran a hand through my hair, before checking myself in the bathroom mirror above the sinks. Taking a minute to fix it again, I checked my phone. Almost seven. Time to leave.

  My palms felt a little sweaty as I left the bathroom and walked along the hallway to th
e lifts. There wasn’t anyone on this floor at this time. Dante and the twins always left around five. I was the only one who ever worked late. It seemed better than going home to an empty flat with too many memories in it. It’d been on my mind for a while now. I needed to redecorate. Change the furniture at the very least. Anything to help me get over her. Finding somewhere new would be effort and besides, I liked my flat. It was the first place I’d called my own when I moved out of Dante’s at eighteen.

  I pulled out my phone as I got in the lift and dialled a number.

  “Hello James,” came Liora’s singsong Scottish voice. “Happy birthday.”

  “Hey, thank you… listen, I have a favour to ask.”

  “Go on.”

  “I’m thinking of completely redoing the flat, furniture and all. Would you help me pick things out? And can you ask Dante if he minds giving up a weekend to help me repaint?”

  Liora had an eye for that kind of thing.

  “We’d love to. I’ll make sure he brings Brent.”

  “What are you agreeing to?” I heard Dante’s voice in the background.

  “To help your brother redecorate his flat.”

  “When?”

  “I don’t know but it doesn’t matter… Sorry, James, we’d be happy to help. Maybe we can talk about it when you’re here on Saturday.”

  “Yeah, okay, thanks,” I replied. “Oh and tell Dante I’ll be late in tomorrow.”

  “Going out tonight then?”

  I walked out of the lift but stopped in the lobby so I could finish my conversation.

  “Um yeah, just drinks.”

  “Ooo, anyone special?”

  “Liora, leave the poor boy alone,” Dante called. “He’s not seeing Cassie anymore.”

  “Oh no, what happened?”

  I wanted to put my head in my hands.

  “It didn’t work out,” I said. “In answer to your question, it’s a friend, but they’re special.”

  “A friend…”

  “Yes, just a friend.”

  That’s all we can be. I don’t think she wants more.

  “Is this friend a girl?” she asked, her voice low.

  I almost laughed.

  “Yes, it’s new and no one you know. I’ll tell you about her on Saturday, okay?”