Benson Siblings Series: A Dark Romance Boxset

by Sarah Bailey

  The memory of him.

  James.

  I put my hands over my face, burying myself further under the covers. Every single time I thought about him, my body became taut with tension. The phantom touch of his lips, his body, his hands against mine drove me insane.

  If only he hadn’t stopped kissing me.

  If only reality hadn’t crashed the fucking party.

  Reality was a bitch and ruined everything.

  Why had he done it? Why had he kissed me? I’d have been fine never experiencing that kind of passion and intensity.

  That’s bullshit. You felt alive when he kissed you.

  The world had been so vivid. Colours seemed brighter. Sounds amplified. Sensations intensified with each sweep of his tongue against mine. I wanted it again. I wanted him. All of him. Pressing against me. Filling me up. Consuming me.

  I didn’t just want it.

  I needed it.

  James would replace all the awful memories I had of men touching me if I let him.

  That’s exactly why I hadn’t responded to his messages or answered his calls. The moment I heard his voice, I’d give in. His rich, baritone voice which sent shivers down my spine would have me doing anything he wanted. And I knew exactly what he wanted.

  Me.

  I felt it in the way he touched me. In the way he kissed me. James wanted me naked beneath him. He wanted inside me. It was a different kind of want to my masters though. They didn’t give a shit whether I was aroused for them or not. All they thought about was their own pleasure and taking it from me. Taking what they saw as theirs.

  James wasn’t like that. He wouldn’t take anything from me I wasn’t willing to give.

  Running away from him hadn’t exactly been clever, but what I said was true. It was a mistake. We crossed a line neither of us could come back from. Nothing could erase that kiss. It would exist forever in both our memories. Especially the way he’d said my name in that heated moment. Like it was a prayer on his lips.

  My phone buzzed on the bedside table. It was my day off and I’d spent all of it in bed, only hauling myself out of it to have a shower, grab food and keep hydrated. I reached out and grabbed it.

  JAMES: If you don’t talk to me, I’m going to do something drastic.

  I sat up abruptly, the covers pooling at my waist. What the hell did that mean?

  JAMES: Answer the door.

  The buzzer went the next moment. I didn’t have to answer it to know who it was. There was no way I was letting him in. I’d been in bed all day. I probably looked like an absolute mess. Not to mention seeing him was a bad idea.

  ME: Please leave me alone.

  It was the first time I’d responded to him, but I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t have him here where the temptation to throw caution to the wind would be alive and kicking.

  JAMES: I just want to talk.

  JAMES: Let me up.

  JAMES: I swear I won’t touch you. I just want to fix this. Please let me.

  A loud knocking at my front door five minutes later made me jump.

  “Ellie, I know you’re there.”

  How had he got into the building? I shook my head. One of the neighbours probably let him in. It didn’t really matter because he was right outside the door now. There was no chance in hell I was going to get away with not talking to him. I put my phone on the bedside table and made the bed whilst he knocked on the door again. I didn’t have time to change now. Walking over to it, I took it off the chain and opened it.

  James stood there, looking immaculate as usual. The only thing out of place was his hair, which looked like he’d run his hand through it several times. That seemed to be a habit of his. My heart thumped wildly in my chest and my body ached to be closer to his.

  I stepped back, allowing him to walk in. The door slammed shut behind him as I let it go.

  We stared at each other for a long moment, neither of us saying anything.

  I wasn’t sure who moved first, but we were in each other’s arms the next second and his mouth was on mine, hunting my tongue down with his. This kiss was just as electrifying as the first. I groaned, unable to help the sound erupting from my throat. He pressed me closer, his hands like brands on my back. All logical sense and reason flew out of my head. He was the only thing I could feel. His mouth on mine. His body against me. Consuming me from the inside out.

  My hands went to his shoulders, pushing his coat off as he started backing me up towards the bed. It fell to the floor in a heap, but neither of us cared. There was desperation in our movements, a need which drove us to madness and one inevitable conclusion.

  We were going to have sex.

  Right here.

  Right now.

  And I wanted it.

  His fingers were at the bottom of my t-shirt, a little hesitant as the backs of my thighs hit the bed frame.

  “Don’t stop,” I whimpered against his mouth.

  I didn’t care at that moment I was about to expose the damage my masters had inflicted on my skin. The only thing driving me was the need to feel him against me. His solid body taking control of mine.

  He pulled away to look at me. His blue eyes burnt with heat, scorching me with their intensity.

  “Show me.”

  The commanding note in his voice made me tremble and heat flooded my core. My hands curled around his at the bottom of my t-shirt. He helped me lift it off my body and over my head. It dropped to the floor between us. My chest rose and fell rapidly as if I couldn’t get oxygen into my lungs fast enough.

  “All of you, Ellie.”

  It was my name on his lips which had me tugging my shorts down my legs without any hesitation. My underwear came next. Slowly, I raised my head to his finding his expression unchanged. The passion and possession in his eyes burnt me to a crisp.

  He said nothing. There wasn’t any need. I reached for him. He let me take his t-shirt off and unbuckle his belt. He slipped out of his shoes himself whilst I unzipped his jeans and it wasn’t long before he was bare before me too.

  I could see the faint scars he told me about on his abdomen and a larger one on his chest which looked like he’d been cut deeply with a knife. Yet, to me, he was the picture of perfection. I was right about him being athletic in build. His abs rippled as his chest rose and fell.

  “Do you want me?” he asked, his voice low and husky.

  “Yes.”

  He took a step towards me. Our bodies were inches apart, not quite touching.

  “Later, you’re going to tell me about each one of these, but right now, you’re going to lay back on the bed and spread your legs for me.”

  He was talking about my scars. That wasn’t what had my heart thundering in my chest. It was him telling me what to do. My masters had done that too. I hadn’t wanted to do as they said even though I’d complied.

  With James, it was different. I wanted this. Wanted him.

  So I shifted onto the bed and lay back for him, my knees bent as I opened my legs and showed him the most intimate parts of me. My eyes fell to his cock. I hadn’t looked before, but now I couldn’t stop. My tongue ran over my bottom lip. Would it hurt? Would he make this feel good for me? It’d never felt nice before. Having someone inside me. It hurt like fuck, but I knew now that was because I wasn’t aroused. I wasn’t wet for those men. I was wet for James. My body had primed itself for his.

  He reached down, snagging his jeans and tugging something out of the back pocket. When I realised what it was, I swallowed. There was something I had to tell him.

  “Wait…”

  He stopped before he ripped the packet open.

  “I’m allergic to um… latex.”

  He looked down at the condom for a moment and then back up at me. A pained expression washed over his features. I’d found out I was allergic the first time sex had been forced on me. It brought me out in hives and a rash. It was only a mild allergy, but it sucked, nevertheless. It
took three more times before he realised and after that, he’d made me go on birth control so he could continue fucking me. Apparently, the hives between my legs were an eyesore. I didn’t care as long as I didn’t have to put up with the itchy rash.

  “I’m on birth control, but I understand if you don’t want to. I did get tested for everything after they rescued me.”

  He dropped the condom on the floor and knelt on the bed, crawling towards me. Before I could say another word, his mouth was on mine and he was pinning my hands to the bed.

  “I want to,” he murmured against my lips. “I want you.”

  His body brushed against mine. I arched up into him. Desperation coiled inside me. Need pounding between my legs. I throbbed and ached for him.

  “Please,” I whimpered.

  “What do you want, Ellie?”

  His lips trailed down my jaw and lower, dancing across my neck. I moaned. His touch burnt me. Fire ravaged through my veins.

  “You.”

  His tongue swept down my chest, tracing the ridge of one of my scars where a silver tipped whip had caught me. When his tongue circled one of my nipples, I bucked and whimpered in response. He kept me pinned in place, not allowing me any room to move and I was okay with that.

  “You’re beautiful,” he murmured. “So fucking beautiful. I want you to do exactly as I say. Are you willing to give me that? Give me you?”

  “Yes.”

  No hesitation. I didn’t even stop to think about it. It just felt right.

  “Good girl.”

  In all the years I’d been held captive, not once had any of them praised me. His praise made me feel wanted. Needed. Cared for.

  “I’ve never been turned on by anyone before, but I’m so wet for you.”

  He raised his head, staring down at me with those ocean blue eyes simmering with heat.

  “Are you?”

  I nodded. He let go of one of my hands and slipped his in between us. I shuddered when his fingers brushed over my pussy. He groaned when he felt me, felt how wet I was.

  “Fuck, Ellie. I want to take my time and show you how sex should be.”

  I was already so pent up and needy, him taking his time would only worsen the ache between my legs.

  “Please, I want you.”

  “Now?”

  I nodded. My brain had completely short-circuited. Nothing seemed to matter except him and I locked together.

  He leant towards me, lips brushing against mine.

  “Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll give you what you want.”

  Nerves hit me then. I tried not to tense as he settled between my legs properly and I felt the tip of his cock against my entrance. He seemed to notice my hesitation.

  “I’m not going to hurt you,” he told me. “You’re safe with me.”

  “Kiss me.”

  His mouth pressed to mine, sealing away our words and making my body thrum. I was so distracted by his mouth on mine, it didn’t immediately register when he slid inside me a little way. My body caught up with my brain. I gripped the covers below us, whimpering into his mouth. I was so wet, he didn’t meet with much resistance, but the intrusion made my body lock up. The memories of what happened before hit me all at once and I turned my face from his.

  “Stop,” I whispered.

  He didn’t move inside me, but he cupped my cheek and brushed his thumb over it.

  “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

  The images assaulted me. The brutal way they’d fucked me without any real lubrication making it easier for me.

  “James,” I whimpered, squeezing my eyes shut. “I can’t… I can’t stop it. Please. Help me. Give me better memories. Please.”

  His thumb on my cheek was soothing in so many ways. He turned my face back towards his and pressed his forehead to mine.

  “I will, sweetheart, if you let me.”

  My heart squeezed painfully at his term of endearment.

  “Open your eyes and look at me.”

  I did as he said, staring up into those beautiful ocean baby blues I was growing to adore.

  “Remember how you told me you feel safe with me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Concentrate on that feeling, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He began to move, pressing deeper. I focused on him rather than the images in my head. On the way he was looking at me and how his body felt against mine. My breathing was heavy and my heart rate elevated, but my vision narrowed to just him. This beautiful, stunning, kind, caring and complex man above me.

  I wrapped my hands around his back, needing to feel him under my fingertips.

  “That’s it, sweetheart,” he murmured, pulling out a little and starting to set a steady rhythm. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

  Slowly, but surely, my memories faded. All I saw was James. All I felt was James. His warm, solid body thrusting into mine, pressing deeper each time. The realisation I was enjoying it hit me all at once. I liked the way his cock felt inside me. Each stroke stoked the flames threatening to burst out.

  “More, please,” I whispered. “You feel so good.”

  He smiled and kissed me deeply, his tongue melding with mine as he thrust harder until he buried himself up to the hilt. I moaned into his mouth, feeling fuller than ever. It was a heavenly kind of full. He fit inside me so perfectly.

  “Ellie,” he groaned. “Fuck, you feel amazing.”

  “Don’t stop, please.”

  “No fucking way. I want you to come all over my cock.”

  Hearing him say that sent me spiralling. I was desperate for it. For him. For my first orgasm. If he could give that to me, make me forget everything else, then he’d have managed something I’d never been able to achieve myself.

  His thrusts intensified. I wrapped my leg around his waist, needing him closer. I couldn’t stand it. The tension inside me increased. My body was taut, primed and ready. My core throbbed uncontrollably, edging closer to something explosive.

  “James, please.”

  I wasn’t sure what I was even begging for, but I needed something. He seemed to understand because his hand slipped between us and his fingers brushed against my clit. I cried out, my nails digging into his skin at the sensations coursing through me from his touch.

  “Come, sweetheart.”

  His voice was breathy, but still commanding. I had to obey. The need to please him rose up inside me, forcing me closer to the edge.

  “Harder, please.”

  His fingers on my clit increased in pressure as did his cock thrusting inside me. It was the added intensity which made me snap.

  “Oh fuck,” I cried out.

  My eyes rolled back in my head as the intense bliss rushed through my body. My pussy clenched making him grunt and curse. Nothing prepared me for this. The rush of pleasure pulsing across my skin. The sparks behind my vision. The thrill of knowing he gave me this. James made it possible for me to feel this way.

  “Shit,” he growled. “Shit, Ellie, fuck.”

  I felt a rush of warmth deep inside me as his cock spurted and pulsed between my legs. He kept thrusting until he buried himself up to the hilt and almost collapsed on top of me. Only his hand planted by my head kept him from squishing me.

  He kissed me gently for a moment before raising his head and staring down at me.

  “Are you okay?”

  I nodded, unable to speak. I reached up and ran my hand along the stubble across his jaw.

  “This isn’t what I meant to do when I came over. I hope you know that.”

  “I do,” I whispered. “I’m glad we did.”

  “You are?”

  Having sex with him was the single most intense and wonderful experience of my life. Despite my initial issues weighing me down, he’d chased them away and given me something special. A beautiful memory to hold onto. Just me and him. Nothing else standing in our way.

  “Mmm, that was amaz
ing.”

  His eyes softened and the result was beautiful. His face relaxed into a smile. James really was a sight to behold.

  “It was pretty amazing for me too.”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re special, Ellie. I hope you realise that.”

  He kissed me again before he pulled away and sat up. His eyes raked across my body but I wasn’t embarrassed. He’d been inside me, kissed the scar across my chest. What he hadn’t seen were the ones I hated the most which littered my back. He would though. I couldn’t stop that.

  I slipped off the bed and walked over to the bathroom to clean up. When I came out, he was sitting up against my headboard in his boxers with the TV remote in his hand flicking through Netflix.

  “Come here,” he said, putting his hand out to me.

  I snagged his t-shirt off the floor and pulled it on which earnt me a smile before I tugged on my underwear. Crawling onto the bed, I curled up against his side, my head resting on his shoulder with his arm wrapped around me.

  He dropped a kiss on the top of my head before pressing play.

  “We’ll talk later, okay?”

  I nodded, content to just be here with him after the intensity of our little workout. But James and I didn’t end up talking at all. Halfway through the film, he ordered Chinese and then when he’d kissed me, it led to touching and soon we were lost in each other all over again. We fell asleep in each other’s arms.

  Thank you for showing me how it should be between two people. Thank you for being the first man I’ve ever wanted to be close to. Thank you for being you, James.

  Chapter Fifteen

  James

  Her sweet scent of green apples filled my senses when I woke up. I assumed it was the shampoo she used because her hair was tickling my nose. Opening my eyes, I found Ellie’s back pressed up against my chest. She hadn’t put anything on when we’d fallen asleep. I shifted, kissing her shoulder and feeling the ridges of her scarring underneath my lips.

  She hadn’t let me look at her back properly yesterday. I’d seen the ones on her chest. They were a little stark in places against her olive skin. Ellie was still beautiful to me. They were a part of her history. A part of her and everything about her was incredible.