Benson Siblings Series: A Dark Romance Boxset

by Sarah Bailey

  I didn’t care if he needed me. He wasn’t having me. He could go to hell.

  “You sold me! Why would I do anything for you now?”

  I tried to kick him, just to get him off me. He pushed me back until I hit the wall. I yelped from the pain as he bent my arm in an awkward angle behind my back.

  “You dirty whore. You’ve been spreading your legs for every fucking Tom, Dick and Harry, haven’t you?”

  “No. Get off me.”

  He laughed.

  “Oh no, you’ve got your sights set higher, haven’t you? I’ve watched you. You and that Benson boy.”

  I froze, my heart pounding in my ears.

  He knows about James. Oh fuck. No. He can’t know about James.

  “That’s right, little slut. I know all about your games. You think you can get your dirty little paws on his money.”

  I shook my head. I didn’t want anyone’s money. All I wanted was normality away from all the horrors life had inflicted on me. The horrors this man who was holding me against the wall had subjected me to by selling me to the Daniels.

  “It’s not like that.”

  His smile grew deadly.

  “Of course it isn’t. You’re too fucking selfless for that shit. But you’re going to do this anyway, Ellie. You’re going to make that boy yours, wind him around your little finger and marry him. Next, you’ll deny him everything, including sex until he snaps and finds it somewhere else. Then you’re going to take him and his fucking family for all their worth, you hear me?”

  My dad was insane. Actually fucking insane. Did he really believe I would trick James like that? He had no idea how fucked up that was.

  “And why the hell would I ever do that?”

  “If you want to see your mother again, you will do what I say. You’ll get me their money.”

  I shook my head. I wouldn’t hurt James like that, not even for my mother. No matter how much I loved her and she was the only person who loved me in return, she’d stayed with Dad. She made her choice.

  “No. I won’t do it. I won’t. You have no idea what you’re asking. You can get money some other way. I won’t fucking hurt his family for you. Not after everything they’ve already been through. I won’t, I tell—”

  He slapped me across the face. The sting of his palm shocking me into silence.

  “You listen here you little bitch. You will do everything I say or it’ll be worse for you.”

  I would never do anything he said ever again. I’d promised myself I was done with him. Done with everything to do with my shitty father.

  “Go to hell. I wish you fucking died of an overdose, you selfish, worthless piece of shit.”

  And I wish I’d never said that.

  The next thing I knew his fist came up and the world went black.

  Chapter Seventeen

  James

  Having not slept all night, here I was sitting in the living room of the person who was the source of all the conflict between Ellie and me holding her kid like everything was fucking normal. But nothing was normal. Everything was a mess.

  You don’t deserve Ellie. She’s right. You don’t deserve her because of your bullshit mess with Avery.

  I didn’t want Ellie to ever feel like she was second best. She was first. First fucking place. Until I could get my feelings straight and my shit in gear, I wasn’t worthy of her. But I was determined to be. I was going to prove to Ellie she was my number one. I just didn’t know how yet.

  Afie was sleeping in my lap. The instant I walked in their flat, Avery had handed her off onto me and gone to make tea. I’d taken her into the living room, sat down on the sofa and stroked her face whilst she gripped my finger with her small hand and fell asleep. Oddly, this seemed to happen every time I held her. As if I was a calm source of comfort for her.

  “Do you have any idea how jealous I am that my own daughter instantly falls asleep when she’s with you?”

  I looked up, finding her leaning against the doorframe with two mugs of tea in her hands. Avery looked as tired as I felt.

  “Why? Does she give you trouble?”

  She walked in, popping the mugs down on the coffee table.

  “Um, like all the time. She refuses to nap, instead, screams bloody murder for hours on end until she exhausts herself.” She plopped herself down next to me, putting a hand over her eyes. “I don’t get it. She’s so good for Aiden.”

  “She’s a Daddy’s girl clearly.”

  “Ugh, don’t. I knew she would be. Daddy’s little princess can do no wrong. I tell you, it’s a fucking nightmare.”

  I raised an eyebrow.

  “Do I detect trouble in paradise? Jealous you’re not his only princess anymore.”

  She lowered her hand and gave me a look.

  “Fuck off.”

  I grinned. Fuck I’d missed her. Missed this, just the two of us giving each other hell. This was normality and strangely, I felt nothing else. There was no stabbing pain in my chest at the thought of her and Aiden. No jealousy that Afie was her daughter with him. Nothing. Just the love I’d always felt for her. The platonic kind of love which made me want to protect her. Like she was family.

  What the fuck?

  For so long I’d been craving something else with Avery and now, all I wanted was for her to be happy like she should be. Be happy with the man she was meant to be with. Aiden. She belonged with Aiden. She was never mine. And that was okay. It was perfectly okay.

  Questioning why this was happening wouldn’t do me any good. Embracing it would. Perhaps this was my first step to becoming worthy of Ellie. Letting go of whatever it was I’d felt for Avery when we’d got tangled up together.

  “I’m kidding. You’ll always be his first love.”

  She smiled, her cheeks going a faint shade of red.

  “You know it’s cute she holds your finger like that. Never does it with anyone else. I think Aiden’s a little jealous.”

  I raised an eyebrow. Who’d have thought?

  “Where is he anyway?”

  “Oh, he went shopping. He grumbled about there being nothing in to make lunch what with you ringing to say you’re coming over.”

  I decided this morning it was high time I saw her, considering it’d been weeks. We needed to clear the air. And I needed to tell her about Ellie even though I’d fucked things up on that score.

  “He didn’t need to do that on my behalf.”

  “I told him so, but my god, he was in such a fucking mood this morning. Mr Neat Freak locked us in the bedroom so he could tidy the flat. Afie was screaming the whole time. Then he came back in when he was done, took her and had the audacity to have a go at me for not calming her down like it was my fault she was upset about god knows fucking what.”

  Avery told me he continued to have control issues, but I guess some days were worse than others. And being parents for the first time couldn’t be easy for them.

  “I’m sorry, I could’ve come over another time, you know.”

  She shook her head.

  “No, it’s fine. I’m glad you’re here. I’m trying my best to take care of both of them, you know. I just wish he’d see that. He gets to go be at the shop and the gallery, but I’m here all the time with Afie. Sometimes that’s too much, you know.”

  There were tears welling in her eyes.

  “Hey, hey, come here.”

  I put an arm out to her and she curled into me, careful not to disturb Afie. I stroked her hair.

  “It’s okay, Ave. He knows you’re doing your best. If you want, I can take Afie out for a walk or something and you two can sort shit out between you when he gets back.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  I hated seeing her like this. It tore at my heart. She loved Aiden and Afie to death. Her poor heart couldn’t take this type of conflict.

  “I think I do. Afie and I will be fine for an hour or so. You two do what you do best, hmm?”
>
  She raised her head and looked at me with narrowed, tear filled eyes.

  “Are you suggesting I fuck my problems with Aiden away?”

  I laughed, grinning and raising my eyebrows up and down.

  “Oh, that’s exactly what I’m suggesting.”

  “For god’s sake, you always have your mind in the fucking gutter like Aiden. It’s a wonder I put up with either of you dirty little shits.”

  She was smiling at me though.

  “Don’t tell me it won’t work.”

  “Stop, please.”

  “Nope, not until you admit the both of you clearly need to get laid.”

  She shoved me gently and pulled away, folding her arms over her chest.

  “I hate that you’re right.”

  “See, I’m a genius.”

  “Are fucking not.”

  She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. The sound of the lock turning on the front door, made her look over to the hallway.

  “The offer is there.”

  She got up and gave me a look.

  “Fine, she’ll likely stay asleep anyway now she’s down for a nap. Sling or buggy?”

  “I’d rather not be pushing a fucking buggy around to be honest.”

  “I’ll get her stuff, just a sec.”

  I heard a murmur of voices a few minutes later before she came back with the baby sling and a bag of Afie’s things for me. She put Afie in the sling and attached her to my chest before we went out into the hall. Helping me into my coat and shoes, she sighed.

  “All good?” I asked.

  “He’s still in a mood,” she told me, her voice low. “Probably best you’re taking her out, I feel like this might end up turning into a shouting match. Thank you, though. I really appreciate it.”

  I squeezed her arm.

  “It’ll be okay. I can handle a sleeping baby. Just text me when you’re done.”

  She gave me a tight smile and I let myself out. What the hell did I look like? I had a fucking baby strapped to my chest all because I knew my best friend needed to have it out with her husband. I sighed, waiting for the lift as I raked my fingers through my hair. I really would do anything for Avery.

  I wandered along their street when I got outside, checking to make sure Afie was still sleeping. She looked so peaceful. I really hoped her parents would end up fucking rather than fighting, although it would likely be both. Again, there was no stabbing pain in my chest. Strange.

  I noticed I was getting looks from women as I walked. I could’ve sworn I heard one of them whispering quite loudly to another how she was jealous of whoever my girlfriend was because I looked so hot with a baby. I almost slapped my hand over my head. What was wrong with people? Afie wasn’t even my kid. Usually, female attention didn’t faze me, but today, it just irked me. The only female I wanted attention from I couldn’t have.

  My heart wrenched painfully in my chest. I already missed the hell out of Ellie and I’d only seen her last night. Would I ever see her again? She made it very clear she wanted more than I could give her. How was I ever going to prove to her I could be the man she needed? I wanted to be worthy of her. So fucking much. She deserved everything.

  You’re not worthy though. You’re pathetic.

  I clenched a fist. When was this going to end? This constant feeling as though I wasn’t good enough. I tried so hard to be a good person. To do the right thing. Why was it never enough? Why couldn’t I have what I wanted for once in my life? Why couldn’t I be happy like everyone else around me?

  I didn’t feel much like walking any further with all this shit running through my head. Instead, I ducked into a coffee shop and bought myself one of those ridiculously sugary iced coffees with caramel syrup. It was still warm out.

  “Aww, are you a single dad?” the barista asked me whilst I waited for my drink.

  “Um, no, she’s my friend’s baby.”

  I swear her grin was about to split her face in two. What was it with women and men with babies? Now I knew what Aiden felt like when my sisters kept eying him up at my birthday party. He told me it was fucking annoying. Once he’d been out at the park with Afie and some woman had started hitting on him to the point where he had to politely excuse himself and take Afie home early. I’d pissed myself laughing at the time, but now I felt sorry for him.

  “Oh my god, my friends would never do that for me if I had a baby.”

  I shrugged, feeling incredibly uncomfortable by her staring at me like I was a plate of cheesecake she wanted to devour. As soon as my coffee was ready, I snatched it up, mumbling ‘thank you’ before moving swiftly away from the two baristas giggling over me and the baby.

  I sat by the window with Afie sleeping soundly as I stroked her little head absentmindedly whilst sipping at my coffee through a straw. Tugging my phone out, I snapped a selfie of me and the baby. The person I wanted to send it to was Ellie, but that was a no go, so I opted for Gertie instead.

  ME: Check out golden boy’s new accessory. Aren’t you proud?

  A few minutes later I had a response.

  GERTIE: What the fuck? Is Avery with you?

  ME: Nope.

  GERTIE: Did you kidnap her?

  ME: I love how you immediately assume wrongdoing on my part.

  The next thing I knew she was ringing me.

  “No but seriously, James, did you kidnap Afie?” she asked before I could even say hello.

  “That’s no way to greet someone.”

  “James, I swear to god.”

  “No, of course I haven’t kidnapped my goddaughter, are you crazy?”

  Sometimes I wondered at Gertie. She gave me far too much shit. Admittedly I gave it back, but some days she really fucking had it out for me. I hadn’t done anything so god knows why.

  “Then why do you have her?”

  “Mostly because her parents needed some alone time.”

  “What? Avery asked you to take the baby so she could fuck Aiden?”

  “Honestly, it’s all sex with you, isn’t it?”

  I shook my head. I wondered how Tillie put up with Gertie’s shit. She was the most sex crazed individual I’d ever met.

  “What else is there to life but being given a good seeing to?”

  I grimaced at the mental image of Tillie fucking her with a strap on that decided to grace my brain.

  Um gross.

  “A lot of things. And no, she didn’t. I offered to take Afie so those two could have it out.”

  Gertie was quiet for a long moment.

  “They’re fighting?”

  “Yes dipstick, they’re fighting. They’re struggling with being parents for the first time, which you would know if you stopped thinking with your pussy for five minutes and started actually asking our friend how her marriage is doing.”

  “Fuck.”

  This is why Avery came to me when she was struggling. We both loved Gertie to pieces, but she was useless when it came to talking about real life problems.

  “Yeah, fuck indeed.”

  “I’m a shit friend.”

  “I’ve not been any better to be honest.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  I sighed, looking down at Afie. She was still fast asleep, her fingers curled around the sling.

  “She didn’t tell you?”

  “No, Avery has been in mummy mode for months. All she talks about is Afie.”

  “Well let’s just say I’ve been too busy dealing with my own shit instead of being there for her and she thinks I’m avoiding her. I was going to talk to her about it today but now she’s got issues with Aiden so I thought it was better to let them hash it out.”

  She sighed. I looked outside the window, watching two teenagers sloping along the pavement and remembering when the three of us had been that young. Long before all the shit between Avery and me went down. I missed those days because life was less complicated then. I mean it was complicated because
my dad was a piece of shit who constantly put me down and made me feel worthless, but I’d dealt with that most of my life.

  “We need to have a lunch date. Just the three of us, no Tillie, Aiden or Afie, so we can all catch up. It’s been too long.”

  “Yeah… we do.”

  My phone started vibrating in my hand, indicating I had another call coming through. I pulled it away from my ear to check who it was.

  Ellie.

  My heart thudded in my chest. Hurriedly putting the phone back to my ear, I said, “Gertie, I have another call. It’s important. I’m sorry, I need to go.”

  I hung up on her without letting her say anything and answered Ellie.

  “Hello?”

  “James…”

  Her voice sounded so faint.

  “Ellie, what’s wrong?”

  “I…” She coughed twice. “I…I need you.”

  I stood up abruptly, picking up my iced coffee and walking out.

  “Where are you? What’s wrong?”

  “H…Home… please, hu…hurry.”

  What the hell was going on with her?

  “What happened?”

  “Please…”

  The line went dead. I pulled the phone away from my ear. Was there any point trying to call her back? She asked me to hurry. There was no fucking time. I was about to run up the road when I remembered I still had Afie strapped to me and she was napping. Walking quickly instead, I dumped the coffee in a bin whilst making my way back to Aiden and Avery’s flat.

  When I got there, I held down the intercom for the longest time until the door buzzed. I got in and kept pressing down on the lift button until the doors opened. When I got out on their floor, Avery already had the door open and had a worried expression on her face.

  “Is she okay? What’s wrong?”

  “She’s still asleep, it’s not Afie… I need… I have to go.”

  I reached her and she looked up at me with wide eyes.

  “Why?”

  “My friend… she’s in trouble. I need… please, Avery, you have to take her. I’m sorry.”

  I was frantically trying to work out how the hell I got this bloody sling off me whilst Avery stood there looking confused.

  “What friend?”