by James Veitch
From: James Veitch
To: Princess Mina
Subject: Re: how are you Date: January 18 11:12 am
Have you thought about number 2? I could be willing to love you. I can’t promise anything of course but you tick all the boxes. Together we can overthrow your tyrannical uncle and take over the family business. That is if he hasn’t already flushed it down the toilet. Are you on Tinder?
From: Princess Mina
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: how are you Date: January 18 1:00 pm
I will accept that if you promise never to betray me. But first we must become business partners.
From: James Veitch
To: Princess Mina
Subject: Re: how are you Date: January 18 1:46 pm
Wonderful news! I can’t believe I’m getting married! Do you think we should invite your uncle to the wedding or is he persona non grata? Maybe we invite him to the dancing but tell him we’re tight on numbers for the dinner and ceremony? That’s a slap in the face.
From: Princess Mina
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: how are you Date: January 19 8:25 am
I am excited too my love. In this regard i will like you to contact the bank immediately and tell them that you are my foreign partner
From: James Veitch
To: Princess Mina
Subject: Some news Date: March 3 3:42 pm
Oh Princess, there’s no easy way to say this. I’ve met someone else. She’s a bit all over the shop but falling, yes I am falling. Know that I’ll always remember those first heady days when you were “in good health conditions and my body is healthy and no diseases in my body,” and that rocky patch in January when we jilted your crazy uncle. James
The Toaster
From: Mrs. Debra Whitman
To: James Veitch
Subject: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 15 6:19 pm
Greetings to you in the Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,
My late husband deposited the sum of £45.3 million Poundswith a Bank in India. I do not know when my time will be up, it might be shorter than the doctors said or more if God willing.
I saw your profile on Microsoft EMAIL owners list and picked youbecause i know in my heart you can be trusted. I am Mrs. Debra Whitman a 82 years old woman, married to a citizen who till his death was a reputable businessman in Isle of Man.
Isle of Man, is otherwise known simply as Mann, is a selfgoverning British Crown Dependency, located in the Irish Sea. The head of state is Queen Elizabeth II, who holds the title of Lord of Mann.
Best Regards, Debra Whitman
From: James Veitch
To: Mrs. Debra Whitman
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 15 8:24 pm
Greetings to you too.
Honestly, being on that Microsoft EMAIL owners list has been such a blessing. I’m so glad I signed up for it.
Tell me more about this Isle of Man or “Mann,” as you call it.
Of course I am happy to help. How can you get the money to me? It’s a huge amount of money; I’m concerned about it going into my bank account.
James
From: Mrs. Debra Whitman
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 15 9:11 pm
Hello James
The Isle of Man is more or less as England is in the UK, just that England is the Capital. There is Scotland and Ireland too.
I want you to use the fund to setup an orphanage with 70% of the total funds and the rest 30% keep that for yourself. My preliminary thoughts are to focus on children, the elderly and homelessness.
It was Google email owner list I got your email from actually.
Debra Whitman.
From: James Veitch
To: Mrs. Debra Whitman
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 16 8:17 am
Ah. I am on both lists, so that makes sense. Tell me more of the Isle of Man. Where does Guernsey fit in?
I’m with you 100% on this orphanage home. Where is it going to be and what shall we call it? I’m going to brainstorm this afternoon. You do it, too and let me know what you come up with.
You say that your preliminary thoughts are on the children, the elderly and homelessness. That’s a fairly broad scope, Deb, and I really think we should focus on just one of those to start with. Otherwise we risk spreading ourselves too thin. Also, what if we take in a homeless child or a homeless old person or even an old, homeless child? Do they get triple the attention? We really need to think about these things.
Jim
From: Mrs. Debra Whitman
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 16 11:45 am
Dear JAMES. The capital of Guernsey is Saint Peter Port, while the capital of Isle of Man is Douglas. Scotland capital is Edinburgh.
The location and name of the home is your responsibility. The bank will request Activation fee for new account. I will wait for you email.
Debra Whitman
From: James Veitch
To: Mrs. Debra Whitman
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 16 6:22 pm
Debbie, of course I can make contact with the bank today and set up a new account. There’s an offer of a free toaster on at the moment and I’ve got my heart set on it.
Your geography is superb btw.
From: Mrs. Debra Whitman
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 17 10:24 am
Hi James, very good to know you can contact the bank immediately.
I do not understand what you meant by “There’s an offer of a free toaster on at the moment and I’ve got my heart set on it” can you explain?
please get back, thanks, Debra.
From: James Veitch
To: Mrs. Debra Whitman
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 17 11:02 am
Defo. Basically the whole toaster thing works like this: the bank gives me a free toaster as a “thank you” for starting an account.
Would you want the toaster or could I keep it?
From: Mrs. Debra Whitman
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 17 1:19 pm
Don’t worry about getting a toaster.
Please contact [email protected] don’t delay. My health is not too good now. I don’t have much days here on Earth.
From: James Veitch
To: Mrs. Debra Whitman
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 17 1:59 pm
D, it’s all very well for you to say “don’t worry about getting a toaster,” but how am I supposed to warm my bread?
So sorry to hear about your health. It sounds like you are not long for this mortal coil. On the plus side, though, you couldn’t be handing over your £45.3 million to a more trustworthy individual. Sure, I have a penchant for fast cars and gold tiaras, but I’m also all about the little things—like the toaster.
When are you leaving Earth??
From: Mrs. Debra Whitman
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 17 3:10 pm
dont let the time I’m leaving earth be of more concern to you,..
From: James Veitch
To: Mrs. Debra Whitman
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 17 3:20 pm
Debra, I’m worried that we’ll be in business together and then one day you’ll just up and leave Earth without giving me any notice.
Is this not a valid concern?
From: Mrs. Debra Whitman
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 17 5:05 pm
if you no longer read from me then it has happened.
From: James Veitch
To: Mrs. Debra Whitman
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 18 11:40 am
Will you tell me before the c
ountdown begins?
From: Mrs. Debra Whitman
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 18 12:44 pm
I have not seen anybody that is more unserious as you are.
Even if I will die soon, do you have to mock me with it? just go ahead and get the funds to the bank
Debra.
From: James Veitch
To: Mrs. Debra Whitman
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 19 11:38 am
Debra, I had no idea we were talking about your death!
Meanwhile, have you given any thought to the name of the orphanage? I was thinking we could call it:
James and Deb’s home for needy old homeless children
Or is that not catchy enough? What are your thoughts?
From: Mrs. Debra Whitman
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 19 11:40 am
What were you thinking I was talking about when I said I will be leaving this earth, am I going to Mass?
From: James Veitch
To: Mrs. Debra Whitman
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 19 11:41 am
Where’s Mass? Is that where the toaster is?
From: Mrs. Debra Whitman
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 19 11:44 am
Sorry I mean Mars one of the planet of the Nine planets of the solar system.
From: James Veitch
To: Mrs. Debra Whitman
Subject: Re: 45.3 million Pounds Date: December 19 11:48 am
Are we counting Pluto, then? If so, are you sitting down? I have some news.
From: James Veitch
To: [email protected]
Subject: Hi Date: December 20 10:55 am
Dear Royal Bank of Scotland*, I’m writing to you about some money Debbie Whitman is leaving me. She mentioned something about a free toaster. Can you confirm?
From: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 20 12:40 pm
Please fill in the account opening form. There is no free toaster.
Raj.
Head of costumer care, Royal Bank of Scotland
From: James Veitch
To: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 20 4:48 pm
Dear Costumer care, are you sure? I heard I was getting a free gift for opening the account. Also, what sort of costumes do you do? I’ve always wanted a proper Bananaman one.
From: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 21 11:14 am
No Sir, there is no bonanza going on.
From: James Veitch
To: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 21 11:16 am
And there was I thinking you were having a bonanza over there.
Serious question. Have you ever had a bonanza at the bank or am I barking up the wrong tree?
From: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 21 1:20 pm
No we had not, and even if we had there will be conditions applied.
James or whatever your name may be, stop playing with us This bank has every good reason to believe you are a scam, trying to lure Mrs. Debra Whitman into giving you her inheritance
From: James Veitch
To: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 21 2:44 pm
“There is no free toaster.”
Then how do you explain this??
From: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 22 1:57 pm
that do not include Royal bank of Scotland Group Worldwide I’m sorry you are disappointed not getting a free Toaster.
From: James Veitch
To: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 22 2:20 pm
That’s ok. I understand. What can you provide instead of a toaster? I could do with a new kettle.
From: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 23 9:28 am
Sir, please be informed that there is no give away gift of any kind. This bank have not done bonanza of any kind for a long time. We will appreciate it if you do not bring up any issue regarding this gift thing again because you won’t get any.
From: James Veitch
To: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 23 12:07 pm
Ok. I shan’t bring it up again. But just to be clear: are you saying that if I bring it up again I won’t get any and that if I don’t bring it up again I will? Or are you just saying that I won’t get any at all?
From: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 23 3:19 pm
Please stop talking of a free toaster.
From: James Veitch
To: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 24 12:34 pm
I am so sorry about all this malarkey with the toaster. I shan’t mention the toaster again. You have my word.
From: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 24 6:00 pm
What we want from you is to do the right things, and print out the form, fill it and sign and after filling send us a scanned copy of the form, and your ID.
From: James Veitch
To: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
Subject: Re: Hi Date: December 25 1:22 pm
I’ve done some research and I think the one we should go for is the DeLonghi 4-slicer in red.
Winnie
From: Winnie Mandela
To: James Veitch
Subject: (no subject) Date: March 1 9:31 pm
I AM WINNIE MANDELA. I AM THE SECOND WIFE OF NELSON MANDELA THE FORMER SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
I AM IN POSSESSION OF US$45 MILLION DOLLARS. I NEED TO TRANSFER IT OUT OF THE COUNTRY BECAUSE OF MY HUSBAND MR. NELSON MANDELA’S HEALTH CONDITION.
IF ALSO HAVE A GOOD BUSINESS IDEAS ON ANY LUCRATIVE INVESTMENTS, I WILL MAKE YOU INVESTMENTS MANAGER.
ONE LOVE
YOURS TRUELY, MRS. WINNIE MADIKIZELA MANDELA
From: James Veitch
To: Winnie Mandela
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 3 10:20 pm
So sorry to hear of this. Given that Nelson died three months ago I’d describe his health condition as fairly serious.
Nevertheless, I have some great ideas for investments :)
Tell me a story about Nelson? What did he like for breakfast?
James
From: Winnie Mandela
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 3 10:38 pm
Nelson is now a history.
We will speak on investing my money afterward. Kindly comply with my banker for the transfer to be done smoothly.
From: James Veitch
To: Winnie Mandela
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 3 10:40 pm
Not Cheerios then? Can you just tell me if it’s Cheerios? I’d like to eat the same thing as him.
From: Winnie Mandela
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 3 10:42 pm
The bank needs transfer fee of us$3800 dollars for the transfer to be made to your account.
From: James Veitch
To: Winnie Mandela
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 3 10:43 pm
I’m going to assume it’s Cheerios.
From: Winnie Mandela
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 3 10:55 pm
dont ask me stupid questions.
&n
bsp; if you are here for jokes stop further communicating with me here because i dont have time for this foolishness.
From: James Veitch
To: Winnie Mandela
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 4 11:16 am
I don’t like the way you’re talking to me one bit. Is this how you used to talk to Nelson?
From: Winnie Mandela
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 4 6:11 pm
Remember i will offer you 25% of the fund
ONE LOVE
From: James Veitch
To: Winnie Mandela
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 4 6:16 pm
Awesome.
NO WOMAN NO CRY
From: Winnie Mandela
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 4 6:18 pm
This is 11.3 Million Dollars
ONE LOVE
From: James Veitch
To: Winnie Mandela
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 4 6:19 pm
Amazing!
I SHOT THE SHERIFF
(But I did not shoot the deputy)
From: Winnie Mandela
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 4 6:20 pm
And I will make you my investment manager if you have a good idea for investments
From: James Veitch
To: Winnie Mandela
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 4 7:00 pm
I would LOVE to be your investments manager. I haven’t done much of it before but I’ve got some rock-solid ideas I think you’d love to hear. Many of them involve the chickpea.
From: Winnie Mandela
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: March 4 7:04 pm
I am praying that the transaction will be smoothly accomplished. Please assure me you will not betray me in this transaction.
