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From: Cho Mak
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Mrs. Cho Mak Date: January 10 7:24 am
Dear James Veitch,
Thank you for your prompt response, you are free to bring whatsoever you want to bring, there are kit kats,
Please can you send me all the information on your international passport or drivers license. You do not have to travel to anywhere for any reason. I shall await for your Update.
From: James Veitch
To: Cho Mak
Subject: Re: Mrs. Cho Mak Date: January 10 9:40 am
Wonderful news about the KitKats. Here is my info as requested:
Name: Alastair James Bruce Veitch
Sex: Not for a while
Date of Birth: 01/04/1980
Nationality: British
From: Cho Mak
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Mrs. Cho Mak Date: January 10 2:33 pm
Dear James Veitch,
I have got your information, and I will be sending them all to the lawyer. I will further update you later on the bank where you are to open a new bank account in your name
From: James Veitch
To: Cho Mak
Subject: Re: Mrs. Cho Mak Date: January 10 4:19 pm
One can never have enough bank accounts—that’s what I say. I just wanted to check that it’s still ok to stay at yours? Just FYI I’ll be bringing three small dogs.
From: Cho Mak
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Mrs. Cho Mak Date: January 10 4:20 pm
PLEASE DO NOT COME TO HONG KONG
From: James Veitch
To: Cho Mak
Subject: Big news! Date: January 16 5:05 pm
I’m here! In Hong Kong! Arrived today and having the time of my life. Wow, it’s big here! Where’s the best place to meet?
Got to go; I thought this was an internet café but it’s just someone’s house.
Excited!
From: James Veitch
To: Cho Mak
Subject: Small problem Date: January 17 9:31 am
Having some difficulty finding you. It transpires that Cho isn’t as uncommon a name as I believed it to be. I’m going to pop into the Dahsong Bank HQ and see if they can page you.
Sayonara!!!!
From: Cho Mak
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Small problem Date: January 17 11:42 am
I am not in HongKong. I have traveled for the western part of the world as part of my bank work I will not be there for two weeks. I told you not to come to Hong Kong. And you have not contacted the bank.. James Veitch why are you herre?
From: James Veitch
To: Cho Mak
Subject: Re: Small problem Date: January 19 1:30 pm
Must have just missed you!
Should I wait? I’ve made a load of friends so I could probably hold out for a while until you’re back from the western part of the world.
From: Cho Mak
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Small problem Date: January 20 12:15 pm
Do not wait for me. i have spent thousands of hong kong dollars on this transaction. Please try as much as you can to set up this account as soon as possible, so we could finalize this this week:
Mr. Charles Frankfort / csu@i-santander.co.uk
General Director of Operations, i-Santander Bank
From: James Veitch
To: Cho Mak i-Santander Bank
Subject: Phew! Date: January 22 11:38 am
Back now. Exhausted. But thanks for the info; so glad to be opening an account with good old i-Santander. I’ll get in touch with them right now.
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Bank account Date: January 25 11:40 am
Dear i-Santander,
I’d love to open an account, please. I’m going to be investing a considerable sum very soon.
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Internal Office Memo Date: January 26 6:37 am
WELCOME TO I-SANTANDER BANK 24/7 ONLINE SERVICE
Internal Office Memo
Dear Customer,
Sequel to your correspondence please endeavor to state clearly the exact type of account you desire
1. Savings Plus Reserve Account:
Account features; *Requires Account Opening/Setup Deposit of 650.00 Great British ponds (GBP) *24/7 Online Banking Direct Access
*Maximum transfer: 1,000,000.00 GBP monthly.
2. Current Plus Reserve Account:
Account features; *Requires Account Opening/Setup Deposit of 1,600.00 Great British ponds (GBP) *24/7 Online Banking Direct Access
*Maximum transfer: 2,000,000.00 GBP monthly.
3. Advantage Gold Reserve Account:
Account features; *Requires Account Opening/Setup Deposit of 3,800.00 Great British ponds (GBP) *24/7 Online Banking Direct Access
*Maximum transfer: 3,000,000.00 monthly.
4. Diamond Reserve Account:
Account features; *Requires Account Opening/Setup Deposit of 5,200.00 Great British ponds (GBP) *24/7 Online Banking Direct Access *No maximum transfer limits. (This means you can Transfer Any Possible Amount at Once)
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: January 29 11:43 am
Great to hear from you. I don’t ask much in a bank, but I do view the sharing of internal office memos with customers as an absolute prerequisite.
Anyway, sequel to that, I’d like to go for the Savings Plus Reserve Account. Pond for Pond, it seems like the best bang for my buck.
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Internal Office Memo Date: January 30 8:47 am
Internal Office Memo
Congratulations on choosing the Savings Plus Reserve Account! Please make the payment of £650 required for the activation of your Savings Plus Reserve Account
Mr. Charles Frankfort
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 2 1:48 pm
I’ve changed my mind. I’d like to go with the Current Plus Reserve Account. The 1 million GBP limit of the Savings Plus Reserve Account is a real bottleneck for me.
Can we commence this as soon as possible, please? I don’t have much days here on Earth.
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Internal Office Memo Date: February 3 7:14 am
Internal Office Memo
Congratulations on choosing the Current Plus Reserve Account! Please make the payment of £1600 required for the activation of your Current Plus Reserve Account
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 3 1:48 pm
Charles, I’ve been doing some serious thinking and the Current Plus isn’t going to cut the mustard. May I please have the Advantage Gold Reserve Account?
How many great british ponds do I need to send you as the opening balance? My last bank gave me a free toaster when I applied. Will you be doing the same?
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Internal Office Memo Date: February 4 8:13 am
Internal Office Memo
Congratulations on choosing the Advantage Gold Reserve Account! Please make the payment of £3800 required for the activation of your Advantage Gold Reserve Account
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 4 3:38 pm
Final decision. Diamond Reserve Account. (Sorry)
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Internal Office Memo Date: February 4 4:31 pm
Internal Office Memo
Congratulations Please immediately pay £5200 required for th
e activation of your Diamond Reserve Account
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 4 10:22 pm
Chaz, you think I should have stuck with the Current Plus Reserve Account, don’t you? Be honest. I think I need another internal office memo.
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Internal Office Memo Date: February 5 10:15 am
Internal Office Memo
Dear Customer,
Sequel to our last correspondence, to complete your application, please kindly fill and return to us the online application form send to you previously.
Please send the account activation deposit fee of 5,200.00 GBP.
We Remain, Mr. Charles Frankfort
(General Director of operations)
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 5 3:00 pm
Charles,
How high do the tiers really go? Don’t mess with me here. If there’s something higher than the Diamond Reserve Account, then I want to know about it. Ideally it’d be a Current Advantage Plus Diamond Reserve. But I’d settle for a Current Plus Diamond. I really think you’re restricting yourself with just these four tiers. Is there someone I can speak to about this?
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 5 6:24 pm
These are the account features. Please remit the opening charges.
Diamond Reserve Account:
Account features; *Requires Account Opening/Setup Deposit of 6,500.00 Great British ponds (GBP) *24/7 Online Banking Direct Access*7% *No maximum transfer limits. (This means you can Transfer Any Possible Amount at Once).
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 9:46 am
What is no maximum transfer limits? Could I transfer £400?
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 9:47 am
Yes and more. You can Transfer Any Possible Amount at Once
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 9:50 am
Wow. Could I transfer £100 immediately after the initial £400?
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 9:55 am
Yes any amount with the diamond reserve. Please transfer the fee.
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:00 am
Shut up! Let me get this straight. I can transfer any amount?
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:01 am
This is true.
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:01 am
Could I transfer nine and a half pennies?
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:02 am
Yes, is possible with the diamond reserve account.
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:04 am
How about 5 million fifty pence pieces? Could I transfer that?
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:05 am
YOU CAN TRANSFER ANY AMOUNT
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:05 am
Ok. And 24/7 online banking. This sounds useful. What is it?
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:06 am
You can access online banking all day and night
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:06 am
All day and all night??
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:06 am
Yes.
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:07 am
I can check my bank account at 3am?
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:07 am
yes.
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:08 am
Impossible! How about at 3:04am almost directly after checking at 3am?
From: i-Santander Bank
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:08 am
Go away
From: James Veitch
To: i-Santander Bank
Subject: Re: Internal Office Memo Date: February 6 10:09 am
Sold!
The Meta-Scam
From: Henry McLurkin
To: James Veitch
Subject: COMPENSATION Date: September 25 3:10 pm
BRITISH HIGH COMMISSION
Henrygote House,
Aguyi Ironsi Street,
Maitama District Lagos, Nigeria.
Dear Scam Victim.
I am Henry McLurkin am a legal practitioner and human rights activist. It was brought to our notice that some people here engage themselves in email scams, hereby extorting money from innocent people online in pretense of Winnings and so on. Your name was among those scammed as listed by the Nigeria Financial Intelligent Unit. Your compensation is Three Million United States Dollars. I know this may sound strange and unbelievable to you but it is true.
From: James Veitch
To: Henry McLurkin
Subject: Re: COMPENSATION Date: September 25 5:28 pm
Henry, you’re 100% right. I was a scam victim. I ended up sending money to people all over the place and nothing ended up coming of it. We never made an investment and, as I predicted, hummus sky-rocketed circa 2011. Question. Is there any way we can hunt down these rascals? I’m willing to travel.
It does sound strange and unbelievable, you’re right, but then again, so did Tamagotchis and they were a goer.
From: Henry McLurkin
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: COMPENSATION Date: September 25 5:55 pm
Dear Scam Victim, Please forward your telephone number, address and other relevant information for comparison with the information we have here to enable us release your fund immediately without delay. Be advised that you should stop further contacts with all the fake lawyers and security companies who in collaboration scammed you.
Henry McLurkin
Legal Practitioner
From: James Veitch
To: Henry McLurkin
Subject: Re: COMPENSATION Date: September 26 1:47 pm
I’m SO sick of all those fake lawyers, Henry. Telephone: (020) 7774 1000 Address: 16 Ringdonut St., W1 42SFGS
But oh, Henry! First there was my friend Alex and then Godwin and then Mary and Gary and then, well, I can’t remember them all but Elena was the latest. Elena was wonderful, Henry; wonderful in a way I can’t describe (mostly because we’d never met). But she had that insouciance and selfless disarming charm that we’re all after, aren’t we Henry?
Anyway, you know they say “’tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”? Well, whoever said
that had clearly not met Elena either. Because it’s killing me. I spend whole days in my room listening to 10cc’s I’m Not in Love and that Feist song Secret Heart which is actually better than the original.
I digress. Send me the 3 million. It will be easier to forget her if I have a few houses.
James
From: Henry McLurkin
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: COMPENSATION Date: September 26 6:33 pm
I called the number you gave me few minutes ago but the lady on the phone could not understand me.
From: James Veitch
To: Henry McLurkin
Subject: Re: COMPENSATION Date: September 30 6:38 pm
Why could she not understand you? Project!
Sent from my iPhone 4
From: Henry McLurkin
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: COMPENSATION Date: October 1 6:15 pm
James, I have called you several times and I always get a woman on the phone. What is delaying you? You are required to pay a precessing and documentation fee of $390 through Paypal to Jeremiah Williams.
From: James Veitch
To: Henry McLurkin
Subject: Re: COMPENSATION Date: October 1 6:28 pm
Great. Who’s Jeremiah though?
Sent from my iPhone 5
From: Henry McLurkin
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: COMPENSATION Date: October 3 2:27 pm
That is my name,
From: James Veitch
To: Henry McLurkin
Subject: Re: COMPENSATION Date: October 5 12:02 pm
But who’s Henry McLurkin then?
Sent from my Motorola Razor
From: Henry McLurkin
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: COMPENSATION Date: October 5 5:56 pm
I uses thia eamil for my work ok
From: James Veitch
To: Henry McLurkin