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The Embrace Series: Romantic Suspense Box Set

Page 82

by Dana Mason


  “No. This is fine.”

  “Do you want a drink?”

  “I would love one.”

  Melissa walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine then a beer from the fridge. When she returned to the bedroom, she found him staring at the photos hanging on the far wall. She sat on the bed cross-legged and waited for him to sit as well. He looked at her apprehensively before sitting across from her.

  “Nice room. Did you take these pictures—sorry, is that too nice of a thing to say?”

  She glared at him. “Don’t mock me either.”

  He popped the beer and took a swig then asked, “Can we talk for real now?”

  “Do you think I’ve said something unreal to you lately?”

  “No. I’m sure it was all real, but meaningless.” He held up his hand before she could send him a snide retort. “I want you to tell me why you’re so upset.”

  She took a deep breath, concentrating hard on maintaining some self-control. “I can’t marry Chase.” She lowered her face to her hands, hiding how miserable she felt.

  “And that’s why you’re crying?” His voice was cold and flat, but she didn’t care.

  “You’re so stupid,” she said through her hands before dropping them onto her lap. “You don’t get it.”

  “Then tell me.”

  “No, you won’t understand.”

  “Try me.”

  She shook her head and wiped her face.

  “Then let me have a go at guessing.” He lifted his eyebrows in question. “Your sister just married the love of her life and that’s forced you to realize that Mr. Berkeley isn’t the love of your life. That’s why you can’t marry him.”

  Their eyes met, and she nodded.

  “Did you push me away earlier because you feel like your cheating on him?”

  His eyes darkened, and she wanted to slap him because she knew exactly what he was thinking.

  “I don’t belong to you, Brian. Sleeping with you would be cheating on him.”

  “Screw that! You and I together is the right thing. It’s not cheating. I don’t care whose ring sits on your finger.”

  Melissa looked at his wedding ring. “That’s rich coming from you.”

  He took his ring off and thrust it in her hand. “It took everything I had to give up on you and wear that ring on my finger. It’s never meant what it should have. I know that now. It doesn’t compare to this, it was different. This,” he held up the band, “represented a commitment between me and Julie, yes. But it doesn’t hold the same power and now I realize that it never did.” He pointed between them. “Right is right, Melissa.”

  “Seventeen years with her meant nothing. Is that what you’re trying to sell me? Well, I’m not buying. Why is that double standard okay? You belonged to her, but I belong to you?”

  “No! You know very well where my heart belongs. Julie was separate from this. I’m not saying I didn’t love her, and I’m not saying she wasn’t important to me, but she didn’t undo us, Melissa, and Collins can’t either. That’s why you can’t marry him.”

  “If I knew your heart belonged to me then I wouldn’t have pushed you away and said no.”

  “You don’t trust me?” Brian’s words came out on a heavy breath. When she nodded, he said, “You’ve lost faith in me.”

  “Of course. What do you think? I’ve hurt for too many years. You act like nothing’s changed, like we’re eighteen again and all these years with your wife don’t count.”

  Brian closed his eyes and nodded. “The way I feel about you hasn’t changed.”

  “But how do you feel? Because I distinctly remember you marrying someone else. God, you act like my doubt is the betrayal here, Brian.”

  They were quiet for a few minutes. Then Brian said, “I can’t argue with that. I’ll have to earn you back.”

  Tears burned her eyes again. “Good luck with that.”

  Brian set his beer down on her nightstand and took both her hands in his. “The last couple of weeks have been eye-opening for me. It’s only been a few months since Julie’s death, and you understand how I felt about her, but this has nothing to do with her.” He closed his eyes as if to find the words he wanted to say. “You and I are different. When I lost you . . . I lost a huge part of myself.”

  “So . . . do you want me . . . or are you just trying to reclaim your youth?”

  Brian lips turned into a frown. “I hate that you don’t believe me when I tell you how I feel.” He squeezed her hands. “Are you open to this, Melissa?”

  “I don’t know . . .”

  He exhaled and said, “I love you.”

  She’d dreamt of Brian telling her he loved her for years, and here he was saying it, and she couldn’t help but doubt him.

  “I love you,” he said again and reached out for her, drawing her closer.

  She met him, nose to nose. “Then prove it.”

  “I will,” he whispered. “I will prove it if you give me the chance,” he said. “You and I will spend every day of the rest of our lives together. I promise.”

  “Your promises no longer mean anything to me,” she whispered against his mouth.

  “I will keep this one. Nothing is more important to me than proving to you how much you mean to me.”

  Brian covered her mouth with his in such a tender kiss, Melissa wanted to weep. Her mind couldn’t register the emotions welling up. For so long, she’d wanted Brian to kiss her and tell her he loved her, and now, it was finally happening.

  His hands tangled in her hair, and Melissa’s heart started pounding so hard, she worried he could feel it. She tried to take a deep breath, but her lips couldn’t break away from his. If she stopped, she might never feel him again. This could be another dream; this could be her mind playing vicious tricks on her.

  “Melissa.” Brian’s voice cracked when he said her name, his heavy breaths brushing her cheek. “I love you. I love you, and I’ve missed you so much. You feel incredible . . . it’s like . . . coming home again.” He fisted his hand and gently tugged on her hair. He pulled her back and trailed kisses down her jaw to the crook of her neck. When his lips landed on her neck, tingles raced through her. She wanted nothing more than to rip her robe off so he’d touch every part of her.

  He pulled her closer and held her flush against his chest. “I’m sorry. I can wait for this as long as I can still feel you, and keep you close.”

  Melissa’s hands traveled his bare back, trying to absorb his heat, making her wish she hadn’t said no. Touching him, having him in her bed, made it more difficult to resist, but she wasn’t ready to let her defenses down. Her heart and mind had a long memory. “Please don’t hurt me again,” Melissa whispered.

  He squeezed her tighter. “Never. I will never make you cry again.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Erin stepped through the ballroom doors and out onto the stone patio. She needed some air, but more than that, she needed a moment to catch her breath.

  Matt followed her out and closed the door behind him. He laid a hand on her bare shoulder, but Erin couldn’t stand the touch. Seeing the photo . . . the pose, her looking so lewd, she felt dirty . . . and completely unworthy of Matt’s touch. She dropped her arm out of his slight grip and scooted away.

  “Erin . . . what happened? Who did you get a text from that freaked you out so much?”

  She had no idea what to tell him. There wasn’t a lie worthy of her reaction to the photo. She knew it must have looked like she’d seen a ghost. Even now, standing in the cold, she was clammy with nervous sweat.

  “It wasn’t a message. I just lost my balance.”

  He laughed but it lacked humor. “You don’t really expect me to believe that, do you?”

  “Are you calling me a liar?” She turned to face him.

  “Yes, I am.” He scoffed at her. “I saw the look on your face . . . why don’t you just tell me what happened.”

  “I slipped and fell backward. That’s all.”

&n
bsp; “If that’s true, let me have a look at your phone.”

  Erin glared at him and narrowed her eyes, but her heart jumped in her chest at the thought. “No! I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

  “This isn’t about proving anything. It’s about you lying. You letting someone affect you like that and not telling anyone. I want to know what scared you. I want to help you, Erin.”

  “Well, you know what, Matt, you’re wrong and I don’t need your help.” She brought her hands to her face and pressed her fingers against her temples. “God . . . can’t you just take a day off from the pitbull routine.”

  “If wanting to protect you makes me a pitbull, fine, I can live with that.” He reached out for her, but she pulled away from him. It was the only thing she could do. Pull away, figuratively and literally. “Talk to me, Erin.”

  “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t give you what you want.” She inhaled deeply and lowered her eyes. “Excuse me, I’m going to go find my grandparents and see if they’re ready to go home.”

  Erin rushed through the doors and returned to the ballroom. She walked straight through until she reached the ladies room. Once inside a stall, she lowered herself down and dropped her face into her hands. The kiss. Matty’s kiss. Oh my God. How could she walk away . . . he was everything she wanted, and more than anything, she wished she could confide in him. But she and Matt . . . it couldn’t happen. Not now. She’d be smarter to end it before everyone knew what she’d done. Maybe if she broke it off now, broke his tie to her, it would save his reputation when word got out. Coach was bound to share a photo online eventually, why else would he be torturing her like this.

  She pulled out her phone and slid the bar to search out the photo Coach had sent her.

  When the picture opened, she focused hard on her naked form. He’d done something to it, made her look older, made her look like she was enjoying herself. She felt sick. His message said, “Wouldn’t the guys love it if I left this print in the locker room for them to find? I can already hear all the clicking from their phones as they snapped photos to share on Facebook and Twitter.”

  Erin slid off the toilet seat and knelt down to throw up.

  Melissa pulled away and slipped under the bed covers. Brian snuggled in against her, his warm body curling around hers. She fought the shiver when his warmth battled against her icy shell. He reached around, untied her robe and opened it under the blankets. When his hands rested on her bare skin, goose bumps erupted all over her body.

  “Lissa,” he whispered in her ear.

  “Hmm,” she sighed, inching closer to him.

  “How did you know your sister was pregnant before she did?”

  Melissa shrugged. “Maybe because I was looking for it and she wasn’t.”

  “You’re not using any birth control with Collins?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Brian, he uses a condom every freaking time.”

  “You’re not on the pill?”

  “No.” The question hurt her. From her conversations with Julie, she gathered that Brian wasn’t interested in having more kids, and being with him possibly meant never having a baby.

  “It’s kinda neat to be that close to someone and have that connection. Your relationship with your sister is pretty rare.”

  “It’s just how we’re made.”

  “My brother and I only talk about once a month . . . but he’s an annoying little shit.”

  She chuckled. “He probably says the same about you.”

  “Yeah, that’s true.”

  “Ali’s divorce from Mark nearly killed me. I was sick for weeks, but when Micah was kidnapped, and I couldn’t reach her, I was devastated. I thought something had happened to her.” Melissa still choked up when she thought about it.

  Brian squeezed her when her voice grew heavy, tucking his face in the crook of her neck. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

  His hand slid up and rested between her breasts. She smiled at how careful he was being, relieved he had enough respect for her not to push.

  “Is it possible Julie stopped sleeping with you because I came back?”

  He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m sure it didn’t have anything to do with you. She was thrilled when you returned. She was really proud of you and excited to have you back in her life.”

  “Then what happened? I don’t understand.”

  “I don’t know. It’s easier to believe she stopped because she was sleeping with someone else. Seventeen years together . . . We had our ups and downs. Going months without making love wasn’t exactly unheard of for us.”

  “Why did you stay then? It doesn’t sound like you were happy.”

  “I wasn’t unhappy. Julie and I got along great. We didn’t fight. We didn’t go long periods without speaking. We were . . . comfortable.”

  “I couldn’t imagine going to bed with you every night and not being intimate.”

  Brian didn’t speak for a long time, then he finally said, “It wasn’t like this, you know. We were partners. Like members of the same team. At work, Johnny and I are partners, and at home, Julie and I were partners. We didn’t have this sweetness you and I always shared.”

  “That makes me sad for her.”

  “She never complained about being unhappy. I always thought we were pretty normal.”

  “How can you say that after the way we were for all those years before you and Julie were married? You know what this feels like. Why wouldn’t you want the same with her?”

  “Feeling like this isn’t a choice. Believe me, if I could’ve turned these feelings off and on, my life would have been much easier. You and I are a matched set. It’s not something I can clone into another relationship. Do you have this kind of intimacy with Collins?”

  “Chase and I are intimate . . . but no, it was never like this.” She tilted her head slightly to see his face. “But I’ve had years to convince myself my feelings for you were those of an overdramatic teenager.”

  “And that’s exactly what I thought.” He shook his head and frowned. “I thought Julie and I had a more mature love. Not the hot, passionate . . . fiery love I had for you.” He closed his eyes and said, “Remember the fights we used to have. Screaming matches to wake the dead.” His frown turned into a smile. “With Julie, I was always reminded of what my mom and dad used to say back when you and I fought. ‘Oh sure you love her now, but when the fire burns out, you two will realize you hate each other.’ But I never hated you.”

  She smiled, too, and lay back on her side. “When Ali and Mark divorced, my mother reminded me that high school sweethearts never stay together forever.”

  He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. “What do you think now?”

  She held her breath for a moment, still reeling from it all, as if it were a dream.

  When she stiffened beside him, he rested a kiss on her bare shoulder and said, “I hope you realize they were wrong and we were right.”

  “But we weren’t. You married Julie, and I was alone.”

  “I’m sorry you had to be the one to get hurt in this.”

  She exhaled heavily. “That’s not true. You hurt, too. I get that now.”

  “You know, Lis, there are a lot of things that would surprise you.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like the fact that I really do think about you every day. Even before you came back.” He rubbed his nose against the back of her neck and exhaled a soft breath. “I stood at Julie’s burial and couldn’t stop thinking about you. It drove me crazy.”

  “Now you’re making stuff up.”

  “Am not. I’m sure it had something to do with jerk-off’s ring on your finger.” He slid his hand down her arm to her hand and tugged the ring off. “Can we get rid of this now?”

  Melissa nodded, took it from him, and laid it on her nightstand.

  “I’m going to hurt him,” she whispered.

  “I’m sorry . . .”

  “No, you’re not.”
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  “I don’t have anything against the guy, other than him wanting my girl.”

  “I wasn’t your girl. I was single, and I never told him about you. I should have been honest, but I didn’t want to make him feel insecure over nothing.”

  “This is not nothing.”

  “This was nothing for a long time, Brian. Don’t think because you’re in my bed I’ve forgotten.”

  “I have a lot to make up for; I own that, Melissa, but don’t act like I did it on purpose. I never would have left you—never.”

  “If I had known that before, it would’ve made it easier to live with.”

  “We lost each other, and I’m sorry about everything, but I will make it right.”

  “We lost each other, but I lost Julie, too. I lost both of my best friends at the same time. I felt twice betrayed for a long time.”

  “I know, baby.”

  Melissa pulled free of her robe and turned to put her arms around him. She snuggled closer.

  Brian moaned. “You’re killing me right now.”

  “I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered. His soft, warm skin against hers relaxed her. She let her hands explore his chest then his back, memorizing every curve and muscle.

  “Me, too. This place is creepy. How do you stand being here alone?”

  Melissa sighed. “I guess I’m just used to being alone.”

  “Well, I hope you got that out of your system, ‘cause I’m here to stay.”

  “We’ll see if you make the cut.” She smiled. “Hey, what do you think the kids are going to think about this?”

  “Erin’s going to be thrilled. Cody . . . he’s not the same kid without his mom. I don’t know what to do to help him.”

  “You have to be there for him, and Erin does, too.”

  “And you . . . you’re always there for him. He really loves you.”

  “Good. He is such a sweet little boy. I didn’t think they made ’em like that anymore. I guess he takes after you. You were a sweet boy.”

  “I was sweet to you because I loved you,” he whispered with a soft kiss to her forehead.

  “You were sweet to Ali, too.”

  “I had to make nice with one twin in order to get to the other.”

 

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