Faithless: A High School Bully Romance (The Privileged of Pembroke High Book 3)

by Ivy Fox

  “No, you’re not. And you’re right, it doesn’t count for shit,” he hushes back with a little less bite to his tone.

  “Still, it doesn’t mean I’m not sorry how this all went down. I hope you believe that, at least.”

  He gives a stiff nod, never once turning my way, and leaves out the door, and ultimately out of my life, without a further word. Reid turning his back on me, literally and metaphorically, because of my inconsideration and selfishness, has my thoughts spinning in a whirlwind, focusing on the names of two people that I’ve wronged above all others.

  Counseling has taught me that my ego needs to take a step back if I want to keep the people I love in my life. And this slap of reality that Reid just laid on me is the final blow I needed to take inventory of my life. I have a lot of apologizing to do to make this shit right once and for all, and I know exactly who I need to visit first.

  I ditch the rest of my classes like I told Ollie and Snow to do also, but instead of going home as they might expect, I go to a place I never thought, in my whole spoiled and privileged life, I’d ever step foot in—Rikers Island.

  Luckily, the Coens were able to arrange a visit outside regular visiting hours, and I don’t even bother asking how they managed to pull it off so quickly. Frankly, I don’t care if they had to grease a few hands to make it happen. I’m just glad they came through.

  I know I’m not their favorite person, as I’ve been giving them hell since the trial began, but someone needs to make sure they pull all the strings to get Rome out of this mess. If I’m lenient with our legal team, then they might get lazy and sloppy, and no way in hell am I letting that happen. Not when my brother’s freedom is on the line. And since I’ve been on their ass twenty-four-seven, I’m sure they think getting this impromptu visit for me will win them some brownie points. That will only happen when they get Rome acquitted.

  As I wait impatiently at a small, round table in the empty, gloomy room, my knee keeps jumping in place, my anxiety taking the best of me. It only stops when Rome struts in, wearing that god-awful orange jumpsuit with a scowling guard at his side. When Rome’s eyes land on me, realizing I’m the one who came to visit this afternoon, his trademark smirk—the one I remember throughout my childhood—shines through, unleashing the first long breath of air I had trapped inside my lungs.

  I really do love the fucker, no matter how messed up our relationship had gotten lately. That never changed. I’d give my fucking life for the asshole. But since that option isn’t on the table, then I guess I’ll have to do the next best thing—make sure he doesn’t forfeit his freedom for the woman we both love. Not without putting up a hell of a fight.

  “You look like shit, Ash,” he teases, but the dark, bluish rings under his eyes shows me that, in here, he hasn’t been faring any better than the rest of us.

  I wait for the guard to stroll back to his corner before I get real with my brother.

  “That shiner you’ve got going on there isn’t doing you any favors either. Having a hard time making friends, are you?” I try to tease, but Rome isn’t buying my nonchalance.

  “I’ve always been more of a loner. Don’t worry about me, Ash. I’m good.”

  “Easier said than done,” I mumble under my breath, hating the fact he’s on his own in this fucked-up place.

  Prison is no joke, but add the fact Rome was sent to Rikers Island—one of the worst prisons out there—and my agony skyrockets. Even googling the word Rikers brings forth horror story, after horror story on the internet. I, for one, do not want my brother to be just another victim of violence or a case study of how our country’s prisons have gone to the shitter.

  “Stop it, Ash. I’m fine,” Rome hushes, his tone strong and unyielding, wanting me to move past my concern for his wellbeing.

  “Right. Sure,” I grumble pensively, thinking how the fuck I’ll ever manage to avoid spending my time dreaming up the worst.

  “Why are you here, Ash?” he interrupts my wayward thoughts. “Is Snow okay? Elle? Ollie? Is our girl okay? Did something happen?” he interrogates worriedly, assuming the worst out of my unscheduled visit.

  “Everyone’s good. Or trying to be at least,” I reply quickly before he has a coronary. I run my fingers through my hair, remembering why I came here in the first place, and try to grow a pair and get on with it. “Let me just say this before I lose my nerve,” I tell him at last.

  “You never have before, Ash. But go on, brother. Say what you have to,” he rebukes, and I watch how his guard scales up, obviously thinking that I’m about to unleash hellfire on him. It’s something he’s come to expect from me in the past few months, so I can’t fault him for believing that I’m here only to bust his balls again.

  “I’m sorry,” I say plainly, robbing the wind from his sails. My brother’s shocked, golden eyes go wide, and it kills me that my decent-human-being act is taking him so off guard.

  “Come again?” he stutters in perplexion.

  “I said, I’m sorry, Rome. I’m sorry for all the crap I put you through when we were growing up. That I made your life harder with my ‘fuck you’ behavior when I should have made every attempt to lessen the burden you already had on your shoulders,” I begin, realizing how this apology is long overdue.

  “Water under the bridge, Ash. You were just a kid,” he tries to console, but I’m not going to allow him to let me off the hook that easily. So I go straight to what has been eating away at me most.

  “So were you, but that didn’t stop you from stepping the fuck up when we needed you to, now did it? Just like it didn’t stop you from helping Snow with the shit our father did to her, while I was too much of a fucking mess to be there for her when she needed me most,” I rush out on a low wail, but now that I’ve opened the faucet of my regrets, all of them spill easily from my lips.

  It’s as if the poisoned well inside me has runneth over at last, and needs to unleash each drop of my inner laments, entrusting that Rome will dole out my penance and tell me how I can fix all the ways I’ve failed the people I love most.

  “But most of all, I’m sorry I blamed you for falling in love with her when it was obvious you couldn’t help it. I know you ache for her as much as I do, Rome. Being locked away in this place is proof enough for me that you are going to do everything in your power to protect her. Willing to go to whatever extremes necessary to keep her safe. So, I want you to know that, not only am I sorry but, well… I love you. I’m so fucking proud of being your brother, Rome. And maybe one day, you’ll be proud of me, too.”

  “Fuck,” he croaks softly, and the faint glistening in his eyes pierces through my heart.

  “You’re not gonna cry, or some shit like that, are you? Fuck, Rome! Don’t you dare fucking cry. They’ll be making you their bitch in no time if they see you bawling like a baby.”

  My brother lets out a laugh so full that it warms my heart and brings my own eyes to water.

  “I’m not going to cry, asshole. But you could have warned me you were about to go all deep on me,” he jokes, discreetly wiping the corner of his eyes.

  “You better not, ‘cause to be honest, I’m seconds away from losing my shit. And I’m still learning how to deal with you all mellow and shit.”

  “Get used to it.” He smiles brightly, lightening up this dingy room. Even after what I just laid on him, Rome looks content and at peace.

  “I have no idea how you do it, Rome. How can you look so serene, in here of all places?”

  “You know why,” he replies without missing a beat.

  Snow.

  “Yeah, I guess I do know.”

  When a woman like Snow loves you the way she does, there isn’t anything in this world you can’t face with a fucking smile on your face.

  “I think I might have fucked that up for myself,” I tell him truthfully.

  He shifts in his seat and leans in closer, his features once again turning dead serious.

  “Asher, I need yo
u to listen to me, okay? I mean, really pay attention.”

  I repeatedly nod, unsure what Rome has on his mind.

  “Do you love her?” he questions point-blank and out of the left field.

  “Of course I do. I never stopped,” I vow, knowing that is the one certainty I have in my life. Everything else can be fleeting and unpredictable, but my love for Snow will never waver. It’s bigger than me and all life’s bullshit combined. She is the only thing that makes sense in a world that’s lost its mind. “She’s my heart, Rome. She always will be.”

  “Then get over your hang-ups and show her that you love her. Show her she can depend on you. She needs you right now, Ash. So does Ollie. The longer I stay here, the more she’ll need both of you to keep her sane. She’s a wrecking ball, that one. You wouldn’t know it by looking at her, but she can quickly plummet down any brick and stone wall just with her sheer will. Her mind is a mess right now, and she will do whatever she can think of to make this right. And if I know our girl, her mind is running a mile a minute, and I’m not sure I can trust her to not do something foolish.”

  “Like going to the cops?” I mumble, acknowledging the underlying message.

  “Exactly. I want you both to protect her. Don’t let her do something we’ll all regret, like turn herself in. The prosecution has nothing, but if Snow goes to the cops, who knows what they’ll use against all of us.”

  “Rome, I think the DA has more than you give him credit for,” I warn, not at all comfortable with how the trial is going.

  “The Coens will be able to dismiss in court everything the prosecution has, or at least add enough doubt to it that the jury will have no option but to overlook it. I get that things look bad right now, Ash, but believe me when I say that everything the DA has is circumstantial. They have no real proof. I mean, how could they?” He tries to play off, seeing as he didn’t have a hand in killing the monster.

  But I’ve seen enough TV shows and listened to plenty of my father’s boring, elitist conversations with the upper crust, to know that even innocent men end up condemned to life in prison if enough evidence, however small, is presented. Knowledge that, for some reason, Rome seems to refuse to ponder, even though it’s his neck on the guillotine and not some other poor schmuck.

  “Rome, don’t be so certain. This shit they are saying in the news doesn’t feel circumstantial. Damning proof we didn’t even know about has come out, along with other stuff that makes you look pretty guilty, brother. This whole thing about our father finding Mom’s revised will, plus the lawsuit he was planning on doing, kind of makes you look guilty as fuck. And let’s not forget the whole Addison fiasco. I want to keep positive, but if this continues as it is, I’m not sure it will end the way we want it to,” I admit, vocalizing for the first time my worries on this screwed-up trial. And even though I just vomited out all my concerns, Rome doesn’t look one bit nervous. “Rome, did you hear a word I said?”

  “It doesn’t matter. As long as Snow is safe and loved, that’s all that I care about.”

  “Don’t you dare be a fucking martyr, Rome,” I say through gritted teeth, not happy with how peaceful he looks.

  “I’m not trying to be, Ash. But if the roles were reversed, what would you do?” he questions, slumping back on his chair, raising his handcuffed wrists at me.

  Fuck.

  “I’d probably be wearing the same ugly-ass jumpsuit, too,” I admit, knowing that, if it came to Snow or me spending the rest of our days in prison for the murder of my father, there is no question in my mind I’d be sitting in the same chair as Rome’s.

  “Exactly.” He grins at me, glad we’re both on the same page, at least in this regard. “Now go home and take care of our girl, Ash. She needs you.”

  “She hasn’t let me in yet. Not like she’s let Ollie,” I confess sheepishly, showing Rome my vulnerable underbelly and the state of my relationship with Snow.

  “Hmm. You came all this way to see me and made the Coen brothers jump through hoops, just so we could clear the air between us, but maybe the person who you should have been apologizing to first wasn’t me, but her.”

  “Yeah, I’m starting to get that.”

  “Good. It means you’re learning, asshole.” He laughs, throwing me his cheek-to-cheek smirk.

  From my peripheral vision, I watch the guard stiffen his back and take a step, undoubtedly coming our way to bring our visit to an end.

  Rome squares his shoulders, his dark features turning that much more foreboding, getting ready to face whatever hell awaits him behind those steel doors.

  “Rome, we will get you out of this mess,” I promise, hating the fact I get to go home, while he has to stay in this hellhole alone and unprotected.

  “Make her happy, Ash. The rest doesn’t matter,” he says as he rises to his feet.

  The ominous comment raises my hackles. It alludes that his serene state might come from him having made his peace with being locked inside a prison cell for the rest of his life.

  That shit isn’t going to fly with me.

  No.

  Rome may be okay with being locked up, but I sure as shit am not.

  I go home and wait inside Snow’s room until she arrives, my brother’s words running rampant through my mind. I’m not going to give up on our family without a fight. Not on Rome, and not on Snow. My resolve cements fully inside my heart with each passing minute I wait for the one woman that can erase all this heartache. When she finally opens the door, the air I’d been holding in comes out of me in one fell swoop, my heart drumming madly in my ribcage.

  “Ash? What are you doing in here?” she asks, cocking a brow at me, sitting pent-up on her bed.

  Without a moment to waste, I walk over to her and, without giving her time to think about it, I kiss her.

  I kiss her how I’ve imagined kissing her since the first day I saw her, and I kiss her how I’ve dreamt of doing every night since then.

  I kiss her how I’ve always meant to, even when she couldn’t stomach looking at me.

  I kiss her with the promise that I am hers.

  Whether she wants me or not, I’ll always be hers, until my very last breath.

  When I feel her fingers latch onto my hair, tugging at its strands, my heart begins to rattle madly, ordering me to deepen our kiss with all that I have. My tongue reminds hers we belong together. My lips vow to cherish hers forever, while my heart beats in unison to every promise my mouth makes. My hands are two seconds away from grabbing her waist and lifting her against this wall, to consummate my vow, when she breaks away from me, preferring to lean her temple on my own.

  “That was unexpected.” She sighs breathlessly, the flicker of a timid smile wanting to break free.

  I’m about to tell her I’m not done taking her breath away when I hear a familiar someone clear their throat.

  I take a quick peek and see Ollie leaning on the door frame, his sly, all-knowing smile also cresting his lips.

  “Has anyone told you, you have an awful timing?” My twin mocks, crossing his arms over his taut chest.

  “I feel like you’re about to now,” I rasp, inwardly pleading with my drumming heart to take a minute and settle itself down.

  “Whatever this is, it’s going to have to wait, Ash. We have a more pressing matter at hand,” he advises, taking a step closer to both of us, and placing a tender kiss on the back of Snow’s neck.

  “What do you mean?”

  “We can all agree Rome is over his head with this trial. Even though he thinks he’s got it covered, we shouldn’t leave anything to chance. Right?”

  “Abso-fucking-lutely,” I respond to Ollie’s statement.

  Especially because my afternoon visit with Rome didn’t go as I expected. Not one bit. I thought apologizing to my brother would give us both some peace, but facing his serenity, left me far more concerned with Rome’s mindset than I already was.

  “You have any ideas about where should we
start?” I direct the question at my twin, but it’s the love of my life that answers it.

  “I do. But you’re not going to like it,” she says before placing a quick kiss on my lips to take away the bitter taste left in my mouth with her next words, “It’s time I had a talk with my mother.”

  Chapter 6

  Holland

  My first instinct is to run as far as I can from this place. The last time I was here was the start of the worst night of my life, and the beginning of the nightmare I’m living with now. I take in a deep breath, summoning all of my bravery, reminding myself that, on the other side of this door, is the one person who might lead to the answers I need to help Rome out of his current predicament.

  That’s all that matters.

  Saving Rome.

  If I’m unable to go to the police and tell them the actual events that lead to Judge Grayson’s death, maybe I can at least come up with enough dubious evidence that will help Rome’s case. If the prosecution can’t prove that he did it without a shadow of reasonable doubt, then the jury will have to throw the case out and acquit Rome once and for all. For that to happen, the defense needs to have a solid case to back him up. And as much as the task ahead brings bile up my throat, I have to face the last person I ever wanted to set my eyes on again and try to find some shred of malicious intent, which can help my selfless, lost soul.

  If confronting my mother isn’t hard enough, coming all the way to the Manning’s luxurious penthouse in Tribeca of all places—where she’s been staying as their honored guest since Rome kicked her out—just adds more salt to an already deep wound.

  “You don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to. I can take you back to Ollie, so you two can wait for Elle to come home. I can come back on my own and take a whack at the Wicked Witch of the East Side myself,” Ash whispers in my ear, lovingly brushing my hair away from my cheek, so he can place a chaste kiss on it.

  “My mother won’t say a word to you,” I explain, softly caressing his scruffy cheek with the back of my hand, grateful he’d be willing to face the fire-breathing dragon in my stead.