by Qwantu Amaru
Phase III:
Butterfly
Temptation
wondering can be troubling
a black cat with eight lives lived
curiosity his best friend and worst enemy
how thoughts of intimacy weave intricate
webs from which there is no escape
thinking this way gets unsure flys caught up
everytime until the spiders venom
gets in them
paralyzing
intoxicating
hesitating
is cowardly but brave
a second can save your life
thinking twice about decisions
can keep you out of a lustful prison
of your own design
where you can't even see the bars
where it's hard to tell fantasy from reality
yes wondering is truly a dangerous thing
it can make you walk right up to the ledge and look over
a fascinating beautiful nightmare
the manifestation of every fear you hold dear and pack away
in that closet
if life had a remote control
you could pause it
instead it keeps moving like the tides
hypnotizing rhythms
as sensual sirens try to convince wayward sailors
to give into them
and crash on the rocky reef below
no
wondering would be a big blunder
your conscious would batter you like thunder
understand that it's natural to question
God's directions
especially when there's no map
tapping into inner strength and faith
is the only way to combat
overwhelming desire to give into the flesh
if this is a test
you must study the game and pass
but know that this class will never truly end
and this is a game that no one ever truly wins
because sin all depends on what you believe in
but if you don't believe in something you'll fall for anything
even the wrong thing
so stop wondering (wandering)
and know
that following love's path
is the only way to go (grow)
A Long Distance Daydream
At this very moment, I am trying to find something to get into. Something to do besides think about you . Because we can’t be together right now and I don’t even know how this whole thing will play out. You’re like 4 trillion miles away from me, and I’m just trying to keep it together.
Depending on the phone to ring, or something else to keep my mind off our situation. I’m pacing up and down the long halls of my cerebrum, and sometimes just when I think I’ve found a solution, it immediately gets washed away by more confusion. How much does it cost to fly there on only a weeks notice?
I’ve been noticing lately that I greatly appreciate everything you’ve done for me. And I can’t wait to see you again. Can’t wait to have my lover and friend grinning at some stupid joke I’m telling. I can almost imagine smelling your hair, or staring into those big beautiful brown eyes.
Can almost imagine settling into that wet spot between your thighs, hearing your sighs rise high like clouds in the sky. I’m crying you a river inside because I can’t show these emotions on the surface. Can’t admit how nervous I am about living with someone for the first time putting it all on the line for the hope of love. Hoping that it’s enough to keep us together forever.
Wherever I go in my travels will love be enough to stop me from dabbling in other females?
Will you hear rumors and tales about me creeping from city to city? Treating you shitty but remaining just witty enough to keep you with me? Could we blend reality and fantasy
just enough to rise above the stuff that brings most relationships down? We’re both grown and I’m not trying to own you or condone what I do but I can’t be alone. Talking on the phone once a week can’t calm the freak in me keeping me searching for lust even though it’s unjust, it’s just not enough for me to know that you’re there waiting patiently. I can’t see or understand how you do that. When I see a woman with a fat ass I just react. And lately I’ve been attracting some pretty fine ass females. They still pale in comparison, but who’s comparing them?
Not me. I’m just looking for company a warm body to spend the night with me. Having occasional moments of ecstasy, but you can have faith that it’s just sex to me. Not to say that they mean nothing. But they don’t mean more than the something I’m still holding on to.
Lucky for you few women ever get through my defenses. The suspense is killing me, like how finding out about my infidelity would probably kill you. Still you tell me that you trust me and that you love me. How real this must be, because you’re willing to put your whole life on hold or leave it behind to climb into mine where the weather is sublime but who knows how much time we’ll have to enjoy it. How long can this last? Will the past catch up to me making me see that having my cake and eating it too is easy but swallowing the shit is where the difficulty comes in?
I know I have a high price to pay for the sins I make every day you’re away from me. But one day I hope that I can say the words I Love You and do the things necessary to show you
that I owe you monogamy by kneeling on bended knee and asking you to marry me.
By Candlelight
a spark
ignites the light
banishing night
a glowing presence
becoming clear to sight
a flickering flame
begins to grow
as the flesh flows
the shadows dance
to a rhythm slow
a bright beam of light
old scenery renews
providing breathtaking views
the catalyst
for passions fuse
a burning desire
night turns to morn
the figures now worn
huddle closely
in the warmth of love reborn
a glance into the fire
hypnotized
the sun begins to rise
one kiss from the wind
the flame dies
Prisoner of Love
