by Qwantu Amaru
Love begins in the head but it ends in the heart, and once it enters the heart the pain can start
Blood flow moves the spirit, trying to take over and steer it to levels that are out of control
Constant poundings take their toll on the soul creating new roles for the actors to play
They long to stay but don’t know how to say what they truly feel
Feeling uncanny and unreal like cold steel pressing against the temple of the body
When the space is erased in the place of the brain
Drowned out by emotional rain leaving love stains and pain
With increasing persistence they struggle against this cruel bliss
Are they crazy or just too lazy to fight against loves might?
Instead they either take flight or invite themselves into competition
Signing the next line of the petition of crucifixion
For what else is love if not self-sacrifice and who is truly wise enough to offer advice?
Is extinction not a high enough price to have to pay?
But each individual must find some way out of the gray fog and mists amidst the shifts of the fists
And the fury and the worry that permeates the inner self
Takes personal wealth off of the shelf and spends what remains within
This leaves them in the void feeling paranoid
Scared to ever again let love in for to those places they have already been
And seen just how mean is the reality that they will never again be
Free
Withering Rose:
Winter in the Garden
To love her best I had to let her go
My tears leaving water for her to grow...
Do you remember the day the seasons changed?
When the sky turned gray and cold?
Tree leaves began to flee,
As the wind grew strong and bold.
I believed we were the oak,
Too solid to ever break.
Laughing at young sapling lovers,
That in the wind would bend and shake.
But they learned the lesson early,
Of what things were greater than them.
With their roots firmly grounded,
Their love could not be stripped from their limbs.
I had ignored the dove’s warnings,
Calling to me as they took to the skies.
That to remain here was to perish,
I closed my ears against their cries.
For I knew my Rose would come to me,
As her shelter from any storm.
To provide as I always had,
Comfort and love to keep her warm.
I attempted to calm her fears,
As we danced in decaying meadows.
She asked me why the trees were so bare,
And where did the rainbows go?
I had no clue of how to tell her,
So I broke down in tears.
For it was her undeniable devotion,
That was the culmination of my greatest fears.
I knew we could not survive,
In the garden for all eternity.
I longed to transport us somewhere else,
Until the cold became only a memory.
But in the months that followed,
Before our joy was buried.
I retreated from love’s winter,
As I grew more afraid and worried.
I sought comfort in my solitude,
My cooling climate making my Rose frigid.
And despite my attempts to unthaw her heart,
The winter held her frozen and rigid.
The essence of love that had once been so strong,
Was now as brittle as her thorns of ice.
I had once again bled for the dream of the garden,
And once again paid the piper’s high price.
Now in clear reflections,
Like those I viewed in the garden’s pools.
I recall her delicate beauty,
And her warm petals turned suddenly cool.
I had only longed to cultivate our love,
But I believed that of destiny I was king.
Winters stark realities left me barren
Living and hoping for the coming of spring...
Searching
I`ve been searching
For a way to stop the hurting
That is always lurking
Behind a smile that cannot reach my eyes
All my lies
Every plan I`ve devised
And every love I`ve denied
Have me drowning in a thick pool of murky despair
I try to say beware
To all the ladies that stare
All those queens and princesses so fair
Eager to climb atop my torrid throne
My soul is alone
Even though I`ve invited many into my physical home
I haven`t yet found a way to atone
For years of abusing those closest to me
I long to be free
But years of captivity are all I see
It seems that an excuse for a man is all I can be
Until you can find it in your heart
to forgive me
better to have loved and lost
cheater liar thief dog
worthless stupid pariah hog
unfair unkind untrue unwilling
destroyed denied denounced defeating
forgotten forsaken foretold for nothing
without within whimsome wanting
torn tortured traumatized turnabout
scream swear sacrifice shout
hate love me you
regret repair rebirth renew
demanding daring drifting dreaming
hoping handling hiding healing
open bleeding infected malignant
living loving learning ignorant
taken trapped teased trained
bamboozled beguiled broken brain
over through finished done
played scored lost one
games tricks stolen time
released poisoned subconscious mind
fusion division fission atomic
foolish crazy ironic comic
pierced pleasured promised pain
cumulus descent acid rain
emotionless stressed strained tried
cried tears evaporation dried
stained perpetual lead heart
cupid aim ready dart
now next notice new
walking wearing worn shoes
better once loved lost
forever knowing loves cost
mic check…qwantu, qwantu (1,2…1,2)
qwantu amaru (the lightbringer) is a current resident of new jersey and a beauty mark on the world’s expansive face. born in pittsburgh, pennsylvania he has traveled the u.s. extensively and spent considerable time abroad as well.
he wrote his first poem back in ’98 about a love battle waged and lost and he’s been using poetry to battle back ever since. complex and ever changing his writing took a significant leap forward upon joining the diverse and hard hitting backtalk! poetry troupe in 2001. somewhere between honing his craft as a passionate spoken word artist and attending florida a&m in the mba program he managed to graduate and someone actually hired this self described “conscious rebel”.
“we used to work for the massa, now i’ve got my masters, and i still work for the massa,” he says of his experience working the commercial plantations of corporate america. not letting anything stop him, qwantu is in process of completing his first supernatural suspense novel.
qwantu describes his spoken word flow as “stream of consciousness poetic truth”. for more information visit his websi
te at www.qwantuamaru.com or e-mail him at [email protected].
