Soul Taker's Redemption

by A. S. Hamilton

  Cyndar gave me a deep nod, then, after a moment of thought, he said, 'It is too dangerous, what you propose. Placing a soul taker within proximity of a yulari is hazardous enough, but prolonged and close contact… That is a perilous situation. I cannot support this plan to place Therion alongside a guardian watching over Maya Del Omo. If Therion loses control, her spirit will not just be lost, it will be extinguished. And— even if he is able to restrain himself, he is too violent, too brutal, still. Furthermore, he is not yet consistent in his behaviours, which makes exposing a child to his influence or the consequences of his actions most unwise.'

  My silence was more due to surprise than to what Cyndar said. I had asked for honesty and he had not held back. His courage, in the face of his god, was remarkable. Many would apply diplomacy in such discussions, veiling their true beliefs in meaningless platitudes. It confirmed that I had made the right choice with Cyndar.

  'Already, Therion is overcoming many of the instincts Ceri-talen bred into him,' I countered. 'And I disagree. While gentleness is something he has had to learn, he is capable of compassion.' With the words I sent Cyndar imagery of Therion interacting with Maya, taking away her fear, helping her recover from her traumatic experiences.

  'I grant you that,' Cyndar responded, a note of impatience in his voice, 'but that does not infer he is safe to be around the child long term. Being a guardian is quite different to the role he currently performs. There is still some aspect of hunting, albeit in a reactionary role, he still gets to kill, occasionally. You cannot safely predict how he will respond if that is removed almost entirely from his role. As a guardian he will not be in conflict regularly. There will be no fights, no releases for his aggression and frustration. We have never been successful with a soul taker before. They have, always, eventually turned away from redemption,' Cyndar reminded me in a dark, solemn tone.

  It was a valid concern. The point irritated me a little, for I had, if I were honest with myself, been rationalising Therion's kills too easily. Archmore, for instance. I may agree with Therion that the earthly realm was a better place with the darkness of Kerrigan Archmore removed, but that eroded the lesson I was trying to teach him. I should have arranged Archmore's death in another manner. The deeper truth was my fear surrounding that question of what if Cyndar was right? What if, without the occasional kill, Therion turned away from me? If I could just get him to connect with others— no, not others, just one was all it would take to spark the epiphany he lacked, the realisation of exactly what he had been turned into and why he needed to strive to change back.

  'He needs to be pushed, Cyndar. You needed to be pushed, remember? For almost a century you worked with the other redeemers, you followed instructions but never took any initiative. You stagnated. Only when I placed you in charge of one redeemer, gave you responsibility—'

  'Yes, you did, indeed, give me responsibility, and what did I do with it?' Cyndar exclaimed. 'I failed. I lost that spirit, Aurealis.'

  The pain in his tone ran soul deep. I closed my eyes in the face of his grief. 'One soul, yes. Gone. But many souls, saved. You felt loss, grief, and responsibility. It spurred you to change, really change. You started making yourself accountable. You have pushed yourself, ever since, to make up for losing that soul and, because of that, you have saved many.'

  Cyndar growled as he broke from walking by my side to pace away from me. Anger radiated from him, his spirit darkening and shadowing the very atmosphere about us. He partly turned back to me, a deep frown creasing his brow. 'Was there no other way? You are a god. My god. Was there no alternative?'

  'I made the choice that was most likely to succeed in instigating the change you needed.'

  Cyndar's frown turned into a glare. His dark nature had never been removed, he served the light by choice and, despite his redemption, he was capable of reverting. He would not, of course. But sometimes, when his emotions gained control over him, his dark origins could be seen. As such, not only did the air about him darken, but his silver eyes returned to a glittering-black diamond. His hair and skin darkened to his original obsidian tones. His wings shifted, splitting into four as they changed to silver metal-like feathers, bearing a closer resemblance to blades than avian-like plumes. Before the transformation continued, a look of surprise replaced the anger as Cyndar realised he'd lost control. He turned away again and I felt him reign his darkness in. He took several deep breaths. 'How can you be at peace with such decisions? You teach that all life is of equal value,' he said, a slight shake in his voice.

  My answer was not going to aid in restoring his composure. 'I do nothing of the sort,' I chided softly.

  My refutation made him jerk back around, his expression full of disbelief.

  'Cyndar, my role, like the other telari, involves maintaining the balance. Not everything is equal, therefore not all life has equal value and the need for karmic intercession. I teach that all spirits have a right to ascension,' I clarified. 'For many reasons not all of them gain access to that right, some of them forfeit it, others have it taken from them, a few do not want it. My goal was to help you move towards ascension. I weighed up the options, the consequences, and how they affected the overall balance and I decided the benefits outweighed the risks. It is not something I do lightly, but it is a part of my role. Just as you do, Cyndar. You make the same decisions overseeing the redeemers.' I turned from him, not angrily, and walked the few paces between the shade and the sunshine, giving him time to take in what I'd said. I felt the sunshine on my head and turned my face up to enjoy the warmth.

  'I understand why you felt the need to propel me along my path. I see also that I do, indeed, make very similar assessments and decisions.'

  I looked back and watched as Cyndar moved up beside me, then gave him a small smile. 'But?' I asked as I took in his solemn expression and the determined set to his jaw.

  'Therion cannot be pushed in the same way I was. To begin with, he is always convinced he is starving. Despite the myriad of sources he has for energy, he insists it is never as fulfilling or as sustaining as spirit energy. And even when he is given access to spirit energy, he complains that it is not sufficient. He often remarks on how low his energy reserves are and warns that he feels he does not have enough if he is involved in a confrontation.'

  His comments made me laugh softly. 'Yes. I am well familiar with those complaints. But to be fair, he is starving, Cyndar. In comparison to what he subsisted on in the Dark Realm, we allow him very little. To him, it is not enough and may never feel like enough.'

  'That may be,' Cyndar allowed, 'but because of that he is always looking for the next opportunity to kill and even the weakest excuse to do so is sufficient to spur him into violence. Putting him in proximity of a child, a yulari, at that— I cannot see how the benefits outweigh the risk in this case. I cannot see how this will contribute to the overall balance you seek. There are other ways to teach him restraint.'

  'This is not about teaching him restraint.'

  My statement elicited a huff of frustration.

  I gestured to the grass, indicating we should sit and lowered myself to the soft, green bed. We were some distance from the centre of the meadows and even further from the temple and the city, but two of the many cottages scattered about the meadows stood nearby, although they were without occupants at the moment. Knee-high flowers and grasses covered much of the meadows, but some sections, nearer the forest and flanking the river, had thick carpets of short, green grass dotted with tiny flowers of all colours.

  As Cyndar settled himself, I said, 'You have often said that one of the key factors in helping a redeemer achieve their redemption is when they learn about sacrifice. Not just the need to make sacrifices, but to willingly do so. For that they must connect with the beings who they make those sacrifices for. Therion needs to connect. He sees humans as a source of energy, not as people.'

  'I agree,' Cyndar interjected somewhat impatiently, 'but I do not see how risking Maya's spirit will help here.'
>
  'He connected with her, Cyndar. He likes her. He gave up spirit energy to save her without hesitation.'

  The silence between us was profound.

  Finally, Cyndar spoke in a hushed tone. 'He needs to reinforce that connection. By enlightenment's sight, this will be a fine line we walk.'

  I gave him a deep nod. 'Now you understand the need for this risk. For centuries he has connected with no other. Recently I have been placing him with yulari. Another risk, yes,' I conceded before Cyndar could say anything. 'The magical bond the yulari develop with the earthly realm anchors them to it—'

  This time Cyndar did interrupt. 'Allowing them to continuously draw on earth energy, which is how they become so powerful, I know this. I know also that it is this tie that causes the spirit to seek a new vessel when their old vessel dies instead of seeking the ether, which means, even when they are ready, they do not ascend.'

  'I did not mean to lecture you on a topic you obviously understand well. I simply meant to explain that, because of this link, Therion cannot just pounce on a yulari, he has to decimate the link first.'

  'Granting us precious seconds to intervene, I see your point.' Cyndar nodded absently as he grew contemplative. 'And there have been more opportunities for you to place him with yulari as Ceri-talen has escalated his attacks on them. He must be getting very low on whatever stores he had left when he last harvested from Therion.'

  'They have and he is. Ceri-talen harvested from Therion's spirit the very eve Therion changed sides. I'd known for a long time that Ceri-talen was harvesting energy from Therion's core spirit, but it wasn't until he arrived here that I could see it was far worse than I anticipated. At first, Ceri-talen would allow Therion's spirit to regenerate before harvesting again, but he became greedy, taking more and more often. It left Therion's spirit significantly scarred.'

  'From what I understand of the process, it is an excruciating experience because the spirit is, essentially, torn apart and then left sundered until it eventually heals. It is little wonder the first therilgalen is so full of rage; that is what pain becomes when it is too much for the mind to deal with.' He raised his eyes to me, the sliver irises flashing in the sunlight. 'The attacks on yulari are only going to get more aggressive. It is a terrible thing that Therion has suffered so much, but without him protecting our more vulnerable wards, they, too, will experience a torment none should know. Which makes me wonder: can we afford for Therion to be apprenticed to a guardian at this stage? I mean, as long as we abide by the treaty, you are not in a position to directly oppose Ceri-talen, which obliges us to keep our strongest warriors close to hand in order to defend those under our protection.'

  He had the right of it. I could not oppose Ceri-talen directly because of the truce Veyhaleth forged after the Venturi War. I needed Ceri-talen's equal in power, but not a telari, to oppose the subversive god. That meant Therion. At the same time, I had a responsibility to Therion to help him redeem and eventually ascend.

  'There will never be an ideal time for Therion to undertake his apprenticeship. Even now, Ceri-talen continually pushes against the boundaries of the treaty. For instance, he was the one to influence Kerrigan and Vaughn Archmore to take children.'

  Cyndar made a sound of disgust. 'Of course, the lives and therefore the spirits of the children would be made vulnerable through their mistreatment, easy prey for Ceri-talen's soul takers.'

  'Exactly. Ever will Ceri-talen be a threat. Be it now or a century from now, we will feel Therion's absence from our main force. But, while he learns to be a guardian, Therion can still be available for emergencies, the guardian he will train under is capable of protecting Maya on her own. I have also arranged that his apprenticeship is undertaken in the same city as the vampire who currently calls himself Bastien d'Estrees, so he will have that support, too.'

  Cyndar smiled. 'Despite Silven's low opinion of the vampire, he has been remarkably effective in helping Therion understand the boundaries you have set and how to operate within them.'

  'Making him an important source of support. Up until now, I have directly overseen Therion's redemption, but once he begins this apprenticeship, I want you to monitor him and give him guidance in my place.'

  Cyndar drew his head back sharply at this news. He had not been expecting to be given greater responsibility. 'You honour me with your trust. Are you certain you wish to relinquish your supervision, though? And when would these duties begin? Will I oversee Therion in addition to my other duties?'

  'No. If you take on this role you will oversee Therion, his guardian companion, and one other.'

  Cyndar raised his eyebrows in question.

  'The one other will be whoever takes over your role as co-ordinator of those being guided through their redemption. That replacement will be your decision. I have made allowance for a period of transition so you can instruct your successor. During that time, I will guide Therion through the initial stages. I have already begun to start Therion on this path and, so far, things seem promising, but I need to send him off on a smaller assignment first, there is another yulari whose path has been altered and there is a need to nudge it back to its original trajectory. Will you take this role, Cyndar? Therion will be a challenge and there are risks, I acknowledge that. You can say no, you can continue as you have been, overseeing the other redeemers…'

  I left the rest unsaid: but, in doing so, he would fail all the souls an unredeemed Therion would destroy and he would stagnate in his own ascension.

  Cyndar looked down, absently adjusting his flowing pale-blue robes, which had pooled about him when he sat. My own silver-white dress overflowed on to it where I sat next to him and it had adopted a matching, but not exact colour at the points where the two fabrics touched. As I concentrated on the spot, I saw a wood with deer bounding through it.

  Cyndar noted my gaze. 'I have always been fascinated by that fabric. Will you ever teach me how to weave it?'

  'What do you see, Cyndar?' I asked, not ignoring his question, just curious to hear his answer.

  'A mountain range crowned in spring, eagles soaring above.'

  I smiled. 'Yes, Cyndar, you will learn to weave it one day.'

  Cyndar returned my smile and then looked away, gazing out over the meadows for a few minutes. When he turned back to me, there was a determined look about his features.

  'You have stood steadfastly by me, offered me all you ask of me, I could never have hoped for more.'

  In the words, I heard his agreement.

  Therion

  [Angel of Darkness – Alex Christensen featuring Yasmin Knoch]

  Vessa gazed through the open doorway, the threads of her ward criss-crossing her face. Maya clung to her; her face partly buried in Vessa's robes. The eye I could see was wide with fear. It was with surprise that I realised she was not fearful in general, but afraid for me. It was likely that I was now firmly imprinted in her mind as a superhero, but I simply felt exhausted. I sank to my knees, curling my wings about myself as a comfort.

  Moving my will through the room I mended broken furniture, pulling shattered glass and wood together; pushing every splinter back into place. I transformed the vessel of my assailant into its essential molecules and released them; as protocol in these situations dictated. Vessa looked on silently, stroking Maya's soft, dark hair by way of comforting her. By the time I finished, I had expended my reserves. I had broken ribs, bruises and cuts, a laceration stretching across my abdomen, and a puncture through my body, but we could not risk planes-shifting with Maya; there were still other soul takers just outside the wards, so instead of healing, I restored the room.

  I frowned as I noted the sudden disappearance of the others I'd sensed waiting outside. There had been five of them, not all therilgalen, but all soul takers, none-the-less. The defeat of the younger therilgalen should not have put them off, yet they had vanished. Then I felt a flurry of warm air descend around me. As if it had hands and fingers, the warmth probed my injuries and, after they passed, my pain
was gone. I watched the muscle and skin of my abdomen re-knit leaving a trail of half-dried blood in its wake. I lifted my head knowing Aurealis was here.

  Her spirit, comprising of an aurora of colours, was forming into an angel. Before she finished forming, I dropped my head back down. I often felt conflicted in her presence. I both resented her authority over me, and yet, needed her approval. That day, the day I had made the oath, I had looked upon her and felt a depthless shame. Other times, her presence brings me a rare sense of peace.

  'You have fought well, Therion.' Her voice whispered through my mind.

  'I have done rightly, then.' I could not conceal my fear. I had killed and I was never absolutely sure she would agree with my decision to do so. Especially because I had wanted to, not to prove myself, but through sheer frustration and the need to release it before I found myself unleashing it on what Aurealis considered less-deserving parties.

  She crouched before me, trailing a finger along the tear running down my cheek. I do not understand why I cry, but Aurealis says when I am redeemed I will no longer be compelled to shed tears in her presence.

  Her expression was one of sympathy. 'My visit is not one of retribution, Therion, be at ease.'

  I felt her touch again as she turned my face up, the silent message was that I was worthy of looking upon her.

  'I have a new assignment for you.'

  I met the silver gaze.

  She smiled, a mix of mischievousness and mystery. 'You are intrigued.'

  'You could have simply summoned me.'

  'This will be different. However, I have a smaller task for you first.'

  Rising, she turned to speak with Vessa. They spoke in the soft song of their language. Normally I understood the language, but Aurealis veiled the discussion, concealing it in a frequency beyond my range of hearing. They were discussing me, or the discussion was somehow related to me, and the guardian disagreed with Aurealis. It was not her body language or tone that betrayed it, but the way she kept flicking her eyes towards me.