Soul Taker's Redemption

by A. S. Hamilton

  He smiled kindly, like he knew I was in a whole load of pain and he was trying to reassure me that I'd be okay. And strangely, even though it was just a smile, I did feel a little less scared.

  'I am far more efficient at healing than an ambulance,' he told me. 'Close your eyes.'

  It took me forever to follow the instruction, like there was a disconnect between my brain and my body, but, eventually, I closed my eyes. His voice was a deep murmur that was very pleasant. For some reason it reminded me of the sound rain on a distant tin roof, it had that same kind of entrancing and relaxing quality.

  'Now, breath in slowly. It may hurt to breath too deeply but do the best you can to regulate your breath.'

  I was surprised at how easy it was. If you'd told me to imagine breathing in a steady, gentle rhythm just after being shot, I'd have insisted it was impossible. But I did it and between one moment and the next, the pain receded and I felt like I was floating in a warm, safe place.

  When I opened my eyes, the pain was gone. I felt really tired and my body felt weirdly heavy. Like I did after working twenty hours straight and I'd just fall onto my bed, not bothering to change because I had to get up in four hours and open the café.

  I looked up at Therion. His eyes were closed, the dark eyelashes resting on his cheeks. He was so still. His face was narrow with high cheekbones. His lips were set into a solemn line. He looked so fierce when he was moving. Everything about him seemed so ungiving, so formidable. But, right now, his features seemed softened, almost gentle. The dark eyebrows arching over the closed eyes moved into a slight frown and then he reached up with one hand to rub his eyes, like he had a headache that just wouldn't quit.

  'Are you okay?' I asked.

  He opened his eyes.

  My god, they were beautiful. He had golden eyes, with narrow, vertical pupils. The strange thing was that his irises weren't just gold, they seemed to have this galaxy of stars eddying about in them. It sounds ridiculous, but there it was, and they were exquisite.

  'Healing is not natural for me,' Therion was saying. He smiled again, placing a hand on my shoulder and running his thumb over my skin.

  I suppressed a shiver. I think it was because I was cold, not because he touched me, because his hand was actually pleasantly warm.

  'But as you can see, I spoke truly about my efficiency.'

  I took forever to figure out he was referring to his assurance earlier that he was better at healing than paramedics would be. I looked down, expecting to see stitches or at least some scarring, but I was immaculately intact. I found myself smiling. 'You did.' Another shiver ran through me and I found myself asking, 'Why is it so dark in here? I mean, even with the light off it's usually much brighter in here, even at night, because of the skylight.'

  Almost as if he just simply willed it, the room brightened. Then, moving into a crouch, he picked me up.

  'Hey, um, I don't think—'

  He sat me on the side of the bed before getting a washer from the bathroom. He knelt to clean the blood up. When I'd first seen him, at the ice rink, he'd seemed so forbidding. Which was understandable, he'd been protecting the light-dancers, as he called the angels. But I could never have imagined him like this. So careful, so gentle. What did his skin feel like? If I touched his face, would it be as hard as stone or like a normal person's, soft and warm…

  'Would you rather do it yourself?'

  I frowned. Would I rather do what? Touch him. No, he couldn't mean that. He must mean whether I wanted to clean myself up, like, did I mind that he was doing it?

  'Uh, no. You're fine. I was… I was just thinking that, um, there's a grace about you, no matter whether you're kicking ass or cleaning up bloody wounds. It made me think that for a being who defines himself as not being an angel, there is a very angel-like quality to you… Oh, I'm… I'm sorry, I'm babbling, now.' I exhaled suddenly. 'Look, I'll just get some clean clothes—' I pushed myself up and dodged around him, going to my dresser to get some clothes before dashing to the bathroom and closing the door. As I changed, I tried to figure out what to do. I hadn't thought to ask Therion where he'd gone, but I presumed he went to investigate the person shooting at me. When I opened the door again, I meant to ask him, but then my vision faded to black and a feeling of nausea flooded my stomach. I pushed away the blackness, I did not want to faint in front of the dark-angel. Said dark-angel was at my side already, holding me up. I put my hand on his chest to support myself. His skin was warm, but the muscle beneath was unyielding. Considering he had wings, that wasn't surprising, I imagine you need to be super-fit to fly.

  I looked up at Therion, into those incredible eyes, and lost my train of thought for a second. Then, wooziness swept over me again. Why was I feeling so ill? He had healed me; I shouldn't be feeling this awful, should I?

  'I do not feel well at all. Everything went black for a second. Did I actually pass out?' I asked as I tried to remember if I'd won my fight with unconsciousness.

  'Not quite enough to fall, but you started to. You need to be careful. You lost blood and although I repaired muscle and bone, your body still has work to do.'

  'I'll keep that in mind,' I murmured hoarsely. The world seemed to spin for a moment and I supressed the urge to throw up. 'Oh, I need to sit. I'm really dizzy.'

  As Therion helped me to my bed my vision started to fade again. What was with that?

  'Just a moment, everything went black again.'

  Therion lifted my chin, examining my face. I wasn't sure what for. 'Are you nauseous?' he asked.

  I managed to nod; movement made it worse. 'A little, but I don't think I'm going to throw up.'

  He closed his eyes and he seemed to… kind of shimmer. It was almost as if his physical body was still there, but his spiritual one was doing something else.

  'Are you okay? Did you get hurt? I heard two shots.' That's when I realised, I had heard shots, two of them. Perhaps in my initial shock I'd forgotten... But looking at Therion, I couldn't see any injuries. Had he healed himself? And where was the shooter. Had he… killed them? Or did they get away? What if they came back? What if someone else came when they found out I was still alive? I didn't want to die. I didn't want to be afraid to be in my own home. And what about my café? Mum had said we'd need to talk, that my life was going to change, but I'd begged off, asked for just a couple of days to recover. There'd been no indication that Archmore's organisation knew who I was, Quan was dead, after all, and Riley was in custody. I guess his sister had told someone… Now, they were coming for me.

  Therion still hadn't responded, so I patted his chest to get his attention. 'Therion?'

  When he opened his eyes, the already narrow pupils were so thin, I could barely see them. And he was… glowing. A halo of light was shining about him.

  'Do not fear, Jayden. I will take care of you. Give me but a moment and you will feel better.'

  And I did. This feeling of warmth, like a pool of air, shifted from him over me. It was like I'd been standing in the cool shade and the sun shifted, enveloping me. My heartbeat picked up, so did his, I could feel it against the hand resting on his chest. I ran my hand down that chest, over the smooth peaks and valleys of his abdomen. I think I meant to step away, but as he breathed out, it was almost as if his body didn't want to lose contact with mine, and I ended up leaving my fingers resting on his stomach.

  There was such an intense look on his face and then he leaned forward, his hand gently cradling the side of my cheek. As his lips touched the top of my head, he murmured, 'I will keep you safe, Jayden Emerline Thaneton.'

  I raised my head to look at him, to ask him… something, I couldn't remember what I'd wanted to say.

  I felt his breath against my face. My lips were so close to his…

  Abruptly his whole body tensed and his head whipped up and back so he was looking over his shoulder.

  'Oh, no you don't,' he growled.

  Then he stepped back, swallowed by shadows.

  Therion


  [Lighting up the Dark – Klaypex featuring Brandon Paddock]

  Time stilled.

  I was immersed in Jayden's spirit, felt its sheer power, and she was indeed powerful. Little wonder Ceri-talen wanted it for himself. But, I did not. I had been tempted before, would possibly be tempted again, but in that moment, merged with her, I felt… I felt utterly serene. It was so foreign to the hunger that was always driving me, the fury, the rage that burned so intensely it physically hurt at times. Only feeding, taking a soul ever quelled it.

  Until this moment.

  Until Jayden Emerline Thaneton.

  I wanted to stay here. I wanted to stay as long as I could.

  Abruptly, the sensation of summoning descended upon me. Aurealis was sending a warning. Instinct told me it was the assassin I had knocked unconscious. He must have regained consciousness. He must be seeking another way of attacking Jayden.

  Not this soul. Ceri-talen would not get this one.

  'Oh, no you don't,' I growled, re-locating the assassin's spirit scent and shifting through the planes.

  He was still in the apartment, a mobile tucked between his shoulder and his ear as he finished packing his equipment in a case.

  'I'm telling you, someone knocked me out. I didn't just imagine blinding pain and unconsciousness.' His tone was calm, but there was a slight shake in his hands as he disassembled the rifle. 'I— No, they didn't take anything…'

  There was an angry voice on the other end of the phone, they were reminding him that if he did not finish the contract, then he would be the subject of the next one.

  The assassin didn't quite manage to keep the resignation and frustration out of his voice as he said, 'I understand.'

  The caller ended the call, but the assassin closed the case and flicked the latches over before he reached up to grab the phone and shove it in his back pocket.

  Exhaling sharply, he made a soft noise of irritation. He did not like the job, but he was committed now. He did not want to get close, either, but decided he had to. Although no police had come, he was pretty certain his target was not going to be standing near any open windows again soon. While he'd been unconscious the scout had gone into the café and reported back that nothing seemed out of the ordinary. When he'd asked about seeing the owner about business with the café, he'd be told that she wasn't available and to leave a message.

  The assassin muttered under his breath. He wasn't sure he was getting paid enough for this. But, better to get it over with, he decided. Before the target called someone or, if she'd already called someone, before they could arrive. Get in through that back balcony he'd seen. A shot to the head. Get out.

  I was still wreathed in the shadow plane, but I stepped through to the earthly plane. As far as the assassin was aware, one moment he was picking up his case, the next, his neck was broken.

  The instant I released the assassin, I was drawn through the planes. The effect was like experiencing a sudden drop, gravity and the body were at odds and nausea flooded me. Bright sunlight blinded me and I dropped my chin to my chest to let my hair fall forward, shading my face.

  Aurealis's voice was full of reprimand and sorrow. 'Therion.'

  I could feel the disappointment radiating through her tone. I felt tears streak my cheeks. The shame was overwhelming.

  'He's been around those cursed vampires too much. He's been infected by their logic. Just because the human had killed and would kill again, he felt justified in ending his life.'

  Silven. Aurealis's second. Ever a ready critic.

  'It's not the vampires, Silven, you expect a lot from a soul taker. You cannot place a lioness in a vegan civilisation and expect an instant miracle. That he just killed him shows marked progress.'

  Cyndar. Not my automatic defender, but a voice more reasonable.

  Why did they speak as if I were not present?

  'Just! Just killed him. Can you hear yourself?' Silven retorted.

  Their argument continued.

  I couldn't move. Aurealis had immobilised me. I knew from experience I could speak, but I rarely did. What was the point? I knew I was in the Sunlit Meadows. My punishments always took place here in the blazing sun, not a shred of shadow for comfort. Here, all the residents and visitors to this realm would be able to see me— indeed, as word of my punishment spread, many would come here just to see me. I would be reduced to an object, none would consider that I had feelings nor care about them as they sated their curiosity and boasted to their companions that they had seen the therilgalen, been so close they could almost touch me. They knew when I was caged here, like this, I was being punished and they would come to witness it and judge me wanting. I reminded myself that I had brought this upon myself, my weakness, my inability to restrain myself had placed me here.

  'How do you know?' Silven was saying to Cyndar, 'Aurealis removed him well before he could consume the soul, we'll never truly know whether or not he would have let it go.' Then to Aurealis, 'He considered it, you know, taking Jayden Emerline Thaneton's spirit. He watched her sleep and fantasised about taking her soul.'

  'Thought and action are two entirely different things,' Cyndar pointed out. 'You don't know what it is like, to be fed on a diet of blood and then, overnight, be expected to abstain forever.'

  'You'd know all about that,' Silven sneered. 'To the vampires your legend still bestows a thrill of fear.'

  'I was not a vampire,' Cyndar growled. 'For one who claims to be intelligent, you'd think you'd get that right.'

  'Is this my punishment?' I asked. 'To listen to them squabble like this.'

  Silence.

  I smiled. No, I grinned. I so rarely get one up on them. Sanctimonious Silven had the power to shut me down, and he never hesitated to use it when the opportunity presented itself. Cyndar was always full of well-meaning lectures. Often he took my side when Silven criticised me, but when Silven was absent, he was just as harsh a judge as Aurealis's second. He said he knew how I felt, and perhaps he did, to a degree. But he was not viewed with abhorrence in this realm. He hadn't annihilated hundreds of guardians and light-dancers in addition to the thousands of souls I had taken. I was, and always will be, a monster to them.

  Suddenly it felt like I was flying, soaring. My heart felt like it would break as a feeling of pure freedom filled me. I wanted it so badly, that freedom. I wanted it more than anything, more than the purest soul.

  'You remember, Therion?' Aurealis's soft voice.

  'Yes.' My voice cracked; it was almost a sob. I remembered it, I remembered it well. That feeling got me through moments when I was certain I would break.

  'You came to me because you wanted freedom.'

  No, I thought to myself, you fed me dreams of that freedom until I came to you. I am no fool, I know Aurealis lured me here, but I wanted freedom so badly, I did not care. Not then. Not now. But perhaps... If I were to guard souls like Jayden Emerline Thaneton's. Perhaps my service would be more bearable.

  'I cannot release you unless I know you will not become the apocalyptic force you have the potential to be. Ceri-talen has no right to you, never had a right to you. It is not fair what he did to you, but it happened.'

  'I know my lectures bore you, Therion,' Cyndar put in, 'but you need to learn discipline. I was just telling Aurealis that your tendency to take the violent path over any other prevents you from progressing your redemption. How can we place you in proximity of a vulnerable spirit if we cannot trust you?'

  'Cyndar speaks truly,' Aurealis said, a note of exasperation in her tone. But I noticed something else, she seemed distracted. Thoughtful. 'There is no doubt you are changing. Even less that you have some kind of connection to the yulari that may, just may, trigger a change in you that finally quells your need for violence. But it is something I need to consider more deeply.' There was a long pause, a silence full of tension as we all wondered what Aurealis meant exactly. Finally, my master spoke again, 'You will remain here. The sunlight will allow you to restore and you can use the time to t
hink through your choices.'

  I did not so much as feel her leave as feel her absence.

  Then I heard Silven's voice, close to my ear. 'They may be willing to soften their disappointment with encouragement, but you will not find me so trusting.'

  I realised that Cyndar must have departed with Aurealis, else Silven would not dare make such a comment. Cyndar might be lecturing and boring, but he'd not let that remark go by without challenging it.

  'You may have their sympathy,' Silven was saying, 'but I know your mind.'

  He took my chin and raised my head so he could look into my eyes.

  'Given the chance, you would take freedom without redeeming your blackened soul.'

  I gave him a predatory grin. 'And yours would be the first soul I would extinguish.'

  His eyes flashed and he shoved my head away. 'Aberrant fiend, you… are… unsalvageable.'

  I thought he had left, as silence graced the next few moments, but then he spoke again. 'Oh, and guess who has to fill in for your incompetence. Instead of seeing to more important duties, I will get to babysit Jayden Emerline Thaneton. Think on that, while you burn here, shadow-dweller.'

  I found myself saying, 'But she is not less important. Saving her from Ceri-talen is no chore, Silven, it is a privilege, for she eclipses your less-than-virtuous essence and most certainly my tainted hide.'

  I had the impression that my words were so unexpected Silven found himself speechless. Then, more gently, he lifted my head. He didn't say anything, just looked into my eyes again. Finally, he turned my head back down, not out of disgust this time, but in a deferential way, as if he knew I could not tolerate the light and he was granting me the small relief of not having to look up into it.

  He was right about one thing, the sun burned. It made me wonder about the benevolence of my master. I was, as Silven cursed me, a shadow-dweller. I came from Unia-littah, a realm of darkness. I was, in the very best of circumstances, uncomfortable in sunlight. Yet this was the main source of alternative energy Aurealis made me reliant on. Here, my skin, even my feathers, felt like they were immersed in flame. There were no storms here, no clouds, no shadows. Even if I was welcome here, I'd never find rest in such a place.