We Will Heal These Wounds

by Nicole Thorn

  “You have it?” Zander asked, literally holding someone by the throat. When I nodded, he tossed them with all the god-like strength he had in him. The man landed thirty feet away, and bones broke against the ground. “Great! So now we’ll know who wants us dead.”

  And we did, because people started running like they had been set on fire. The fighters looked at us as if we were the monsters, cutting them down without mercy. Little did they know that most of the bodies on the ground would be just fine. Some of them . . . might need a little help eventually.

  “Jesus!” Kizzy shouted when Jasper bashed someone’s head in behind her. The person he just . . . made less smart, fell to the ground in a heap, and I smirked at him. “What the hell . . . ”

  Jasper shrugged and looked at the man. “He was about to stab you. I have no regrets.”

  Kizzy’s eyes got all big and affectionate, and she kissed his cheek. “Aw, you’re a sweetheart. We should do kissy stuff later.”

  “Ugh!” Zander groaned, punching a stranger in the face.

  Jasper laughed at him, looking a little too pleased with himself.

  “We need to go,” I reminded them.

  I took my girlfriend by the hand, and dragged her along with me as I watched Kizzy shoot an arrow at someone about to do the same to her. All the rest ran, but a few lingered behind. I didn’t know how to work the fleece, so controlling them would’ve been impossible. It would have felt wrong anyway.

  A girl with a sword stopped Juniper and I from moving any further. “Don’t move,” she warned us.

  I sucked in a breath. “Oh dear. What are you going to do? Cut me?”

  She tried cutting me.

  Her sword nearly tore into my jacket, but I got the hell out of the way before she could touch me. Happily, I gripped my garrote in my hand, and I swung at her jaw. The points went into her skin, and I tore it apart as her jaw broke against my hand.

  She fumbled, and I wrapped the wire around her throat. She didn’t even have time to choke before it cut into her throat, and her own blood began to drown her. Nothing I could do to take it back, and I wouldn’t have if I could.

  With the girl dead on the ground, I had to look back up at Juniper. She’d seen me kill before, but my head felt clearer for this and I had no excuses. I needed to know if she could love someone who would take a life with such ease.

  Everything hateful and scared in me melted away when she took my hand and told me to run.

  ***

  We all stared at the fleece on the floor, in the middle of all of us. For the most part, we’d cleaned ourselves up. Only because I didn’t want to get blood on Juniper’s clean living room carpet. That would have made a bad day worse, and who needed that? Not me. I needed food and a roll with my girlfriend before I would feel better.

  “A lot of people died for this,” Kizzy commented, looking hard at the fleece. “It’s unfortunate that we couldn’t do anything about that.”

  Jasper patted her leg. “We can’t save everyone.”

  “I know, but I wish it didn’t feel like so much death was surrounding us.”

  I knew exactly what she meant, because the death had soaked through my body, sticking in my bones. The deaths I’d caused, and the deaths that happened all around us. I’d taken a lot of lives when I shouldn’t have, but we couldn’t do anything about that. I had to take it step by step. Juniper didn’t hate me, and that helped a great deal. I didn’t have to punish myself in that way, but I could stick to the other reasons.

  Zander had more in common with me than I would like, but now I could see why he always looked the way he did. So happy on the outside, but as if something icky lingered on his skin. He hid it well, but not all of us could avoid seeing it. Jasmine had to have known, but she didn’t let him worry about it. She could smile at him, and the darkness hid for a while. I wanted to get to that place.

  “It’ll stop,” Jasmine said to Kizzy, sounding sure. “It has to. I mean . . . ” Her expression darkened as she blinked. “It can’t stay like this forever.”

  I hoped it wouldn’t, but I didn’t know how it would fix itself. We had the fleece, but Argus had gotten away. I figured he would be too smart to assume we would have it for long, and the gods would know that he’d taken it. He had a chance of hiding, and I wouldn’t be able to find him. I wouldn’t get to feel his bones breaking in my hands.

  “What do we do with this?” Juniper asked, changing the subject as she touched the fleece in front of us. “I don’t want something like this in my house. Not when people would die for it. I don’t want this kind of power near me.”

  From behind us, I heard my father entering the room. “Don’t worry about it.”

  Juniper jumped in her seat, covering her heart with her hands. I comforted her with a shoulder rub, wondering if she would be like this forever with him. My father was a kind man, and she’d figure it out eventually. I thought the cup had been a nice gesture from him, as well as taking care of wedding plans for us. Oh . . . I would have to talk to him about that. Not that I didn’t plan on making Juniper marry me one day, but I thought she would have appreciated it being her choice.

  “Hey, Dad,” I said, feeling sullen to see him. I hadn’t spoken with him since before Mum had been killed, and he couldn’t have been happy with me.

  He nodded at me. “Verin. I see you’ve managed to get the fleece without getting yourself killed. Impressive.”

  Dad walked around us, and bent to take it up off the floor. He shook it out, examining what looked like nothing more than a small yellow blanket. In a single blink, it vanished from the room.

  “Ah, there,” he said. “Safe and sound again. No one will find it where I’ve got it tucked away.” With a chuckle, he stepped back from us and to the front door. Why he wanted to leave that way, I didn’t know.

  I stood up, feeling nervous for the first time in my life to talk to my father. Would he hate me? Would he want me to never speak to me again after this? I didn’t know, but I needed to find out.

  “How is she?” I asked him.

  My father swallowed, and would not look me in the eyes. “She’s dead, Verin. That’s how she is.”

  My chest stung, but I couldn’t stay quiet. “Is she upset with me?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “She’s not upset with anyone. She’s just trying to get used to being in the Underworld. It’ll take a while, but I’ve got her set up as comfortably as possible.”

  I hung my head, and I nodded at him.

  “Verin,” he said, voice low. “There wasn’t anything you could have done differently. You may have postponed it for a little while, but Argus was looking to harm, and he wouldn’t have stopped until he did. Not that it would make it any better or worse . . . ” He paused and looked at Juniper. “But your mother was the only target he was able to get to.”

  The heat from before came back to my chest, threatening to take me with it whole. No, Juniper wouldn’t ever have any harm come to her. Not that day and not any day in the future. I would make her like me, and we would live until nothing else remained.

  Mum had been locked away, and I could feel that too. Her unable to go where she pleased, or do what she wanted. It didn’t seem fair to her that she got caught up in all this mess. My body twitched, telling me that I needed to go and do something.

  “What now?” I asked. “Where did Argus go off to?”

  “That, no one knows,” my father replied. “He’s blocking our view of him, and he could be anywhere. But I don’t know if he’d come back here so soon. Not when I have the fleece and all he would get with you is revenge. It would be in his best interest to leave you be, and I figure he will.”

  I did not want that. I wanted him there and I wanted my own revenge. An eye for an eye, and so much more. I would get that, and I wouldn’t stop wanting it until the deed had been done. My father would understand that. Juniper already did. I just needed the rest of them to understand what this meant to me. I wouldn’t be settled until he was
dead. Not really.

  I felt it already wanting to consume me, taking over all common sense in my brain. It wanted me to hunt until I found what I looked for. But that would make me another kind of person. One that I promised I wouldn’t become, because my family didn’t care about that kind of man. I only had the part of me I could still hold onto, and I had to stay like this. I needed to choose right from now on.

  “I have to go,” my father said to me. “You all need to rest and be ready for tomorrow.”

  Popping her head up, Jasmine asked, “What happens tomorrow?”

  Dad smiled, and said, “Whatever you want, my dear.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE:

  Let’s Talk About Nemo

  Juniper

  “He . . . got bigger . . . ” I said, staring at the hydra whose fins overflowed the kiddy pool. He chirped happily, splashing his water . . . which got on my carpet. I wanted to sit down and put my head between my knees to stop the room from spinning, but restrained myself from acting on the impulse.

  The day before, we had all holed up in our rooms after Hades left. Verin had come to my room, of course. He looked so strange with his dark hair and dark blue eyes, laying on my very white bed. We hadn’t gotten up to anything fun, though, both of us passing out the instant I crawled into the bed next to him. I figured that day wouldn’t be any different.

  Until I got downstairs and saw Nemo. He looked so happy, the weird little dragon-creature. It shouldn’t have been horrifying to me that he had gotten so big. He looked about the size of a Saint Bernard now. Only, two-headed. We just didn’t have any room for him in that kiddy pool.

  “We have to do something,” Jasmine said. “I don’t want him to feel cramped. That’s not fair to him, Juni. She looked at me with big, pleading eyes. Jasper, on her other side, leaned over, and watched me as well.

  “Why are you two looking at me? He’s not my pet,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. I wanted to look defiant, but it came off more like I wanted to protect myself. We had to move him again, which meant changing the living room again. I had just barely gotten used to not having the fish tank around. My heart shouldn’t have been slamming against my ribs over something so small.

  Jasper shrugged. “I could have Kezia dig a hole in the backyard to start a pool.”

  Oh, hey, that dizziness is back. I should sit down before I collapse. My butt hit the couch cushions, and I breathed through my mouth to get more oxygen into my body. A pool . . . in the backyard. Tearing up my backyard for a pool that would have to be big enough to house a full-grown hydra. I didn’t think passing out would be a good thing right then.

  “Ooh, I like that idea,” Jasmine said. “We just need to find someone willing to pour the plaster and who won’t wonder about Nemo. Do you think Hephaestus would be willing to pop down and do us another quick favor? I mean, I feel like the gods owe us again for retrieving the golden fleece, and nearly dying while doing so. I’ll go ask Zander to call his mom!” And off she went.

  “I’ll go talk to Kezia,” Jasper said, going up the stairs at a more sedate pace.

  We had to do something, I told myself. We couldn’t let him outgrow the kiddy pool, and then not take care of him. That would be a mean thing to do. And if I repeated that a hundred times, maybe some part of me would start to believe it.

  And I’d stop freaking out over a pool in my backyard. In Seattle. Where it rained all the time. Where the pool could get flooded. Ruining the rest of my yard.

  I put my head between my knees.

  Verin found me like that about two minutes later. I felt him more than saw him. He sat down next to me, his hand touching my back, between my shoulder blades. “What’s wrong, Juniper?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “They’re building a pool. We have to build a fucking pool in my backyard.” The words came out in a wheeze, and I felt ashamed of myself. Unable to even talk like a normal person. I lifted my head so that I could stare at him. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” Verin asked. “And why are they building a fucking pool in your backyard?”

  I pointed at Nemo. Verin turned to look at him, and his eyebrow went up. “Ah. Well, that’s a good reason, I suppose.”

  “You’d have been better off finding a sane girl,” I said, putting my chin in my hand. “I wanted to get better, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. Jasper and Jasmine . . . They got better, yet I’m still quietly panicking over the water that Nemo is dripping onto my floor.”

  Verin looked at me. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Juniper.”

  “My pounding heart says different,” I told him, sighing.

  He pulled me over, so that I could situate myself in his lap. I put my head on his shoulder, because I liked the muffled sound of his heart beating, and the way air would inflate his lungs. Not that I would tell him that. It would sound creepy, and I needed to keep him for as long as I could. Which meant playing it cool, so that he didn’t realize how much he screwed up by wanting me.

  “I love you,” he said. Simple as that, with no other embellishments.

  “I love you too,” I said. “But that doesn’t make me any less of a failure, or a freak.”

  “Why do you think you need to ‘get better’?” he asked. “Or that it would be as simple as wanting it hard enough?”

  “Jasper and Jasmine—”

  “Are not you, and for that I am forever grateful,” Verin said. “Now, about that pool. I will make sure that they do not ruin your backyard, and that everything is exactly how you would like it. All right?” He leaned his forehead against my temple, and I sighed. Heavily. He made a lot of sense, but I still felt like arguing with him.

  I nodded my head instead.

  The front door flew open, and Hephaestus came in, carrying so many tools. He smiled grandly. “Kezia and I are going to be working on the pool. Tell Zander to start cooking. I was thinking burgers and fries and cookies. Maybe a pie. Ooh, it’s been forever since I had lemonade too. Oh, and perhaps someone could find some ice cream. Steak sounds great . . . ” he continued as he walked into the backyard.

  I whimpered.

  “On it,” Verin said, putting me down on the couch, and chasing the god through the house. Kizzy came downstairs moments later, took one look at me, and bolted after my boyfriend and the god he chased, while I tried to remind myself that everything would be perfectly fine.

  That worked for about an hour, but then I had to see what they had started doing. Zander stood in the kitchen, cooking up a storm. Oh gods . . . he had dishes everywhere. He tried to keep up with the mess as he went along, but he didn’t do such a great job.

  I started washing them immediately. Scrubbing, rinsing, and filling the dishwasher to capacity, and then hand washing the rest of the dishes, which took more effort and time. I had to make sure that every speck got scrubbed off, and then I had to dry it, wash it again, dry it again, and set it on the drying rack before I could move them into the cabinets.

  So focused on that, I didn’t even pay attention to the backyard until a veritable feast had been laid out on my table, and those outside took a break. Then I looked up. Oh gods.

  Dirt had been piled up along the sides of the hole. A bean shaped hole, and one deep enough that I couldn’t see the bottom. My legs felt wobbly, and I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs.

  “Nope,” Verin said, grabbing me by the hips, and turning me around. He marched me over to the cup cabinet, and opened it up. “Just look in here for right now, Juniper,” he said. “So much better than looking outside. See. Six white, six gray, and six black.”

  I had never told him that I thought that every time I looked into this cabinet. I never told him how much it calmed me down to think of the order of my cups, or that it made me happy to know that at least this one thing remained neat as could be. Nothing went wrong with it. Somehow, it didn’t surprise that he had picked it up, what with how I panicked over one broken cup.

  Leaning back, I rested against Verin. All right
. I had to trust him with the backyard, and that meant not looking out there. He wouldn’t let them ruin anything. I could do that. When Hephaestus finished eating—and what a scary thing to watch—I would do another load of dishes, and then walk away. It would be the hardest thing I’d done this week, and didn’t that really say something about me and how little progress I’d made.

  Everyone in the house still had issues. Jasper still forgot to eat or sleep sometimes. Jasmine would occasionally get so depressed that she’d hide out in my room so Zander wouldn’t notice. Kizzy still flinched when people she didn’t know brushed up against her. Zander still acted like Zander.

  Yet, I felt like I lagged behind all of them.

  That night, I stood in my bathroom, leaning over the sink and staring at myself in the mirror. Mere inches separated my nose from the surface. My hair hung past my shoulders, and I looked a little too skinny. I could admit that now, after seeing how Jasmine’s dress fit on me. My mismatched eyes always looked a little too wide. My pajamas seemed as boring as the bathroom itself, with all the white tile and porcelain.

  I felt like I didn’t have anything special about me, and yet a razor and an extra toothbrush sat by the sink. I had seen them upon walking in. They hadn’t panicked me, because they just seemed to belong there. I didn’t know when Verin moved them, or if he had gone to the store to get them, just so he hadn’t needed to reenter his house. But they didn’t panic me.

  Biting my lip, I stared at the two things. The razor sat with the blades facing up. I flipped it over, and smiled, wondering if he’d notice that I had done that.

  I heard movement on the other side of the door. I cracked it open, and peered out. Verin walked out around, getting ready for bed. He pulled his shirt over his head, and the muscles in his back stretched and moved. Verin tucked the shirt into the hamper, which I approved of. I also approved of how quickly he shucked his pants, and did the same thing with them.

  He climbed into my bed, getting situated. He really didn’t look right amongst my white sheets, but maybe I could get gray ones, and that would take care of everything. Or we could pick out sheets together. Or—