The Devil's Fool: A Paranormal Vampire Romance Novel (Devil Series Book 1)

by Raven Steele

  “Sure thing,” Charlie called from the entrance into the kitchen, and then turned down the hallway.

  Samira closed the door. I remained where I was in the entryway still in shock at the turn of events.

  From the hallway, Charlie called, “You’ll have everything you need here.” He returned to the living room. “The rest of the home is in order. The bedroom and bath are at the end of the hall. There’s even a small office.”

  I sucked in a breath at his generosity, which I felt I didn’t deserve. “Why are you doing all this?”

  He smiled kindly. “I sense a lot of anger and fear in you. It’s created a darkness that’s nearly overtaken your mind and heart, but there’s this light…” He closed his eyes and tilted his head as if tuning in to a distant sound. “It’s fighting against the darkness.” He opened his eyes. “It’s bright, but it needs time to grow.”

  I didn’t realize my mouth was open until I closed it.

  He continued. “I want to give you the safety and the time you need to become the person you were meant to be. That’s why I want to help you. The Deific, however, see you as a viable force for good and want you on our side.”

  “I don’t want to be on anyone’s side,” I said.

  “And that’s all right. For now. But the time will come for you to choose sides. Battles come in many different forms, and we all face one, if not many, at some point in our lives. And when that fight comes, we must choose a side.”

  After I swallowed, I opened my mouth to speak, but he interrupted me.

  “Don’t make a decision now. It’s going to take time for you to heal and to discover who you are. Nothing else matters.”

  I glanced around the apartment, focusing lastly on the ocean painting. “How did you know to prepare all of this? I thought you came to kill me, I mean Alarica.”

  He chuckled. “The Deific doesn’t always trust my gift. I told them I’d find someone other than Alarica, but they still had me prepared to kill her just in case.”

  “I mean no disrespect, but how exactly were you planning on killing Alarica? She was pretty much invincible.”

  “I didn’t come alone.” He winked at me and nodded his head toward the kitchen. “The fridge and cupboards are stocked. There’s also clothing in the bedroom closet. After I leave, I suggest a hot bath.”

  I glanced down at my jeans and t-shirt. They were covered in so much dirt that I couldn’t tell what color they were anymore.

  “There’s a phone in the office,” he added. “Please only use it to call me. My number is in the desk.”

  “You’re leaving?” I asked. My hands began to shake, and I quickly moved them behind my back. The thought of being alone right now suddenly terrified me.

  Charlie’s shoulders sagged. He stared into my eyes. “Eve, you have suffered through horrible things no child should ever go through. You were a victim once but no longer. Never think of yourself as a victim. If you do, then you are still empowering those who have harmed you. Go forward and choose to live your life, because if you’re always looking in the past, you’ll never have a future.”

  “Will I see you again?” I asked.

  “I hope so, but something tells me it won’t be for a long time. Do take care of yourself, and when you’re ready, call me.”

  Without another word, he left, closing the door behind him and leaving me utterly alone.

  Chapter 30

  The first several days at Blutel, I thought of nothing, afraid the smallest memory might overwhelm me. I repeated the most mundane tasks, keeping life as simple as possible: wake up, shower, eat, go for a walk, read, eat, read some more, walk some more, eat again. Every day I told myself that after a good night’s sleep and a decent breakfast, I would leave in the morning. But the next day came and went. Soon the days turned into weeks until time stopped entirely.

  I didn’t think about magic, my parents or Boaz, not even the vampire with the sorrow-filled eyes. I had become like the large oak tree that grew in the center of the courtyard: predictable, steady, and unaware to life beyond its branches.

  Samira was my only visitor. Our dialogue was kept to a minimum, consisting of the weather and other impersonal things. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get to know her, but it was just easier for me to exist as a shadow, unknowing to the present and future, but most importantly to the past. Occasionally, I would catch Samira staring at me, but gratefully, she never asked any questions.

  When she came to visit, she’d bring me letters from Charlie. He’d write me faithfully once a week. Those letters were the only thing I looked forward to. In them, he spoke of his work at the Deific, but he never got into specifics. He also talked about his baseball team’s winning streak and the friends he’d met there. His words made me laugh, and it made me realize what a normal life could be like.

  But sometimes his letters made me sad. He’d talk about his wife who had been killed years ago. I could tell her death still pained him.

  I returned his letters but not at the same pace. I just didn’t have much to say, but I wanted him to know that I was okay and appreciated his words.

  After what I assumed was a short time, but in actuality was a few months, Samira brought me a crossbow and a dozen arrows, saying it would be good for me to learn a new skill, something that could also serve as protection should I ever need it.

  This gave me something new to do, so I spent a lot of my time in the courtyard practicing at different targets until I became quite good. I could throw an apple into the air, aim, and shoot an arrow straight through its heart. Occasionally, a few of the other guests joined me, but for the most part we kept to ourselves. All of us were trying to heal from some kind of trauma.

  Early one evening, a few hours after the sun set, I exited my room with my bow. This was the first time I’d come out at night since coming to Blutel, but I wanted to practice shooting under the light of the moon. A few supernaturals sat on benches beneath the trees and walked along the paths that cut through the large courtyard, but none of them paid me any attention. It made me wish I’d come out at night sooner, but I’d been too worried about meeting others.

  As I set up my target, I sensed someone approaching me from behind.

  “You’re up late,” Samira said.

  “Yup.” I turned around, slinging my quiver over my back, and walked past her until I was thirty yards away from my target. I couldn’t hear her, but I could sense Samira following me. Sure enough, when I turned around, she was there.

  “You’ve been here a long time, Eve,” she said.

  “Have I?”

  “Almost nine months.”

  I stopped in my tracks, my heart skipping a beat. “Nine months?”

  She didn’t answer, only stared at my thoughtfully.

  “I had no idea.”

  “People come to Blutel to heal, not to become stuck. Healing is an action, Eve, a conscious choice you make to move forward. Yes, it takes time, sometimes a long time, but that doesn’t matter as long as you’re progressing.” She paused and looked around, her blue eyes alive beneath the moonlight. “You’ve created a prison here.”

  My legs grew weak, and I stumbled back until I collapsed onto a bench.

  Samira slowly moved toward me as if approaching a skittish animal. “I know this will be hard, but you have to listen to me. You are too valuable a person to simply exist in some remote part of the world. People out there need you, your gifts, and your talents, but the only way you’ll be of any use to anyone is if you learn to feel again. The good, the bad, and the ugly, which I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of.”

  I shook my head vehemently. “I can’t do that.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m afraid of myself, of what I might do. All I know is hate and anger.”

  “There’s only one thing that will destroy that. You have to forgive. Forgive all those who have caused you pain.”

  I swallowed around the growing fullness in my throat. “That’s impossible.”


  “Nothing’s impossible.”

  “Why should I forgive them? They don’t deserve it!”

  Samira reached out and placed her surprisingly warm hand on my shoulder. “It’s not for them, Eve. It’s for you, because you deserve it.”

  “I don’t know how to forgive.” I wasn’t even sure I knew how to feel anymore.

  Samira squatted in front of me until she was at eye level. “Deal with the past, with all those who have hurt you. And as you remember, you’ll find that with everything they did to you, you had a choice in how you responded, whether it was to run away or let yourself be filled with hate. They may have bound you physically, but they couldn’t touch your mind. Think back. They never had any power over you. They still don’t, if you don’t let them. Once you realize this, you will be able to forgive because you know they can never hurt you again. And then, despite any obstacles, you will be free to experience happiness and love.”

  I scowled. “I wouldn’t know what to do with love.”

  “That doesn’t matter. Love will know what to do with you.” She smiled and straightened. “Remember your life. See that they had no power over you. Then forgive.”

  I didn’t say anything, didn’t feel anything as Samira disappeared into the darkness, but I did ponder her words until the sun came up. With its warm light touching my skin, I finally admitted that I did want happiness out there in the real world, the world Charlie existed in. And maybe if I could feel it, I could get over my self-loathing and finally do some good in the world to make up for all the horrible things I’d done.

  It was time to change, to move forward. I glanced around at the beautiful gardens, the trees, and the old stone buildings. I knew them all so well. Samira was right. I had created a prison.

  I inhaled a full breath and stood. Since I was going to live an eternity anyway, I determined right then and there that it wasn’t going to be here, and it wasn’t going to be without joy. The thought of what I was about to do terrified me, but I knew no other way.

  After retreating to my apartment, I spent all day cleaning it, anything to keep my mind off of what was coming. I waited for darkness to reclaim the sky before I set out along the long driveway. I walked for almost a mile, then cut into the forest and walked another mile until I knew I was completely alone. With the kind of emotions I was about to invoke, I needed to be as far from the estate as possible for fear of any damage I might cause. My leg tripped over a log, and I almost fell.

  Pick up your feet. Don’t stop.

  It took every ounce of strength I had to keep walking through the forest that smelled like dirt and wet leaves. My life was difficult enough to live the first time, but to deliberately relive it again made me physically ill.

  I looked up, hoping to see the moon which had always comforted me, but tonight it hid itself behind angry clouds. A bolt of lightning split the night sky in half, and a roar of thunder came right after, shaking the ground beneath my feet. I pushed forward as far as I could until I collapsed by a mossy stump. I leaned against it and wrapped my arms around my knees. It was time. Face my past so I could move on to my future.

  I closed my eyes and remembered, starting with my earliest memories. One after another, they flashed before me: my father standing near my bed, dangling a venomous snake in his hand, locked in my mother’s “quiet” room for days on end, the beatings for refusing to show them my true powers. I remembered it all.

  The memories seemed to last for hours, and during the more painful ones, I sobbed uncontrollably while struggling to breathe. I was so consumed with the pain that I almost forgot to do as Samira asked—to remember how I responded to their abuse. I didn’t have to think hard. My refuge had always been Eden. Whenever the pain became too unbearable, I’d disconnect my mind from my body and travel to my secret island where my parents had no power over me.

  My memories and thoughts came to a grinding halt. They had no power over me. No matter what they did, they couldn’t touch my Eden. Eden was my own, and only I could control it.

  It was like a switch had been turned on, and suddenly everything seemed brighter. My parents never had any real control over me, something I remembered Madelyn had tried to teach me. Nothing they did could change who I wanted to become. They were as insignificant as the spider that now crawled up my leg. I flicked it off into the darkness.

  I sucked in a deep breath. Cool air flowed freely into my lungs, and my chest felt lighter as if someone had cut several tight bands from around it. I didn’t know if what I was experiencing was forgiveness or not, but I did know that I no longer cared about what my parents had done.

  This process was easier than I thought it would be. Maybe it was because my parents never pretended to be anything else. For as long as I could remember, they never claimed to love me. They made their intentions known at a very early age—we were not to have a normal parent/child relationship. This is where I had failed. I expected my parents to love me simply because I was their child, despite what they constantly told me.

  What a fool I’ve been. I almost smiled.

  The dark clouds above the canopy of trees cracked, and the first drops of a spring rain fell through. It felt good on my skin and gave me added strength for what I needed to do next.

  I could’ve stopped right then and refused to remember the rest, refused to forgive the rest. But my parents weren’t the only ones who had hurt me. It was Boaz and his friends, specifically Liane. My whole body filled with hate as I remembered. The rage came upon me in great waves, but I didn’t try to stop it.

  I unleashed it.

  Chapter 31

  As if I’d wakened a monster, magic shot through me, darker than night. It raced from my fingers and toes, spreading across the landscape and up the trees in finger-like appendages. The cold blackness killed everything it touched. Budding flowers wilted to ash, wisps of grass turned brown and dead, and unsuspecting insects and animals rotted within seconds.

  I remembered every moment, every second, with such clarity that I felt as if I were watching my life play out on a movie screen. My whole perspective changed as I saw Boaz slowly manipulate me into using magic. It was his gentle voice, his tender touch and his eagerness to please me that caused the blinding shroud to come over my eyes. I chose to ignore his darkness that was always right there on the surface, waiting anxiously to come out.

  I’d been so stupid to trust him. His true nature had been revealed on multiple occasions, but my desire to be loved and accepted made me ignore the obvious. I justified all his behavior and eventually my own, thereby becoming a slave to evil’s master.

  The weight of all my past actions crushed me, making it difficult to breathe. All the innocent lives destroyed because I had been a fool. I tormented myself with visions of their burned bodies and terrified cries. The heavy darkness, mixed with the sounds of their tortured souls, pressed upon me, stealing the last of my breath. They willed me to die as they anxiously waited to escort me to hell where I belonged. I wanted to answer their cries and give them what they wanted.

  But that would be the easy way out.

  It would be easy not to live, not to deal with the consequences of my actions. Hell wouldn’t be much different from living at Blutel, alone, existing in an empty shell. I was comfortable living like that. It was a coward’s way of life, and I had embraced it.

  I fought against the darkness, willing it away. I wasn’t ready to let it claim me, not when I still had the chance to make things right. The weight upon my chest lifted slightly as hope grew in my heart, a small light to push back the darkness. The light reminded me of the vampire who had saved me from Alarica. I bit the inside of my cheek. If he hadn’t stopped me ...

  I thought of Charlie and the Deific. If Charlie had found solace in the work he did there, then maybe I could too, if they would have me. Then, after I felt I was on the right track, I would locate the vampire to thank him.

  Pulling myself to my feet, I inhaled several deep breaths. As fast as my bod
y would permit, I returned to Blutel, stumbling along the way, but with each step, I became stronger and more determined.

  When I reached my apartment, I hurried into the office and opened the small drawer inside the desk. Only one thing was in it: Charlie’s card. I picked up the phone and dialed his number.

  Please answer.

  He didn’t. Instead, after a few rings, a woman’s voice said, “Thank you for calling First Choice Accounting. May I help you?”

  First Choice Accounting?

  “Hello?” the lady asked.

  “Um, may I speak with Charlie?”

  “Charlie who?”

  I quickly thought of the envelopes his letters came in. “Charlie Grant. He works for the Deific. Do you know the name?”

  The woman paused. “May I ask who is calling?”

  “My name is Eve. He asked me to call.”

  “One moment.” I heard a series of clicking sounds in the background. After almost a full minute, she said, “Charlie isn’t here right now, but we will have a car pick you up within the hour. They will take you to the airport. That is, if you are ready to leave.”

  I puffed an exhaled breath past my puckered lips. “I am. Do you know where I am?”

  “We do, Eve.”

  My heart skipped a beat when she said my name. “Where will I be going?”

  “To our Wildemoor office. Charlie will be waiting for you there. The gentleman’s name that will be picking you up is —” I heard the clicking sound again — “Garret. Do you have any questions?”

  “A million,” I said, laughing weakly.

  “Everything will be all right, I promise,” she said.

  “Okay, thanks.”

  The woman said goodbye.

  I hung up, my hands shaking.

  Since I hadn’t brought any of the clothing, I only packed the bare minimum, then headed to Samira’s office. My feet felt heavy as I crossed the familiar stone path through the courtyard. I would miss this place.

  A couple of shifters smiled at me in passing. Maybe I’d come back to this place one day and offer to help others like Samira had helped me.