Decidedly with Luck (By The Bay Book 6)

by Stina Lindenblatt

  2. My son would grow up believing he was the product of love. Both Stephen and I had wanted to have a baby.

  3. My son would never know he was the result of my dirty little secret. (By dirty, I meant a naughty roll between the sheets, complete with masquerade masks.)

  Cons:

  1. My son’s existence was based on a lie. And what would happen if one day he discovered I’d been lying to him all this time?

  What were the negatives of telling people the truth about Love Bug’s father?

  I didn’t even want to contemplate them. There was no point.

  My decision had been made.

  For the sake of my child.

  The only exception was, I still needed to tell Judith and Joe the truth.

  They had the right to know.

  I just had to figure out the best way to do that because the letter I had been working on just wasn’t happening.

  Too bad there wasn’t a Dummies guide for such an occasion.

  I stepped out of the elevator and walked to Logan’s apartment.

  Sorry to disappoint. I was here on official business. Fundraising business.

  I knocked on the door. A moment later, it opened, revealing Livi and two younger girls: five-year-old Everly (Hannah and Wes’s daughter) and two-year-old Kat.

  All three were beaming at me. All three were dressed as princesses, complete with tiaras and fancy gowns.

  “Hi, Mrs. A,” Livi opened the door wider.

  “Thank you, your royal highnesses.” I curtsied. But it was hard to look graceful curtsying when you were five months pregnant. They giggled and ran off to tell the adults I had arrived.

  “You look amazing,” Emma said a moment later, hugging me. Hannah did the same, with equal exuberance. The three of us had become good friends in the past two months.

  I removed my shoes, and we walked to the living room.

  Hannah and Wes’s two-year-old son, Cameron, was on the floor, building a rickety tower with large blocks.

  Travis was also here, talking to Logan. Both men looked a little worn around the edges. Not too surprising, considering they had already played four games of the final series of the playoffs. San Francisco and Tampa were tied at two games each.

  “Hey, you made it,” Travis said. He gave me a quick hug. In the short time I’d known both Emma and her husband, I had fallen in love with them and their fairy-tale story of how they ended up together.

  Unlike Cinderella (and those two), there was no fairy-tale ending for me.

  Of course, Cinderella also hadn’t managed to get knocked up by Prince Charming.

  So, there was always that.

  “Sorry, I’m late.” My gaze drifted to Logan, and my heart squeed a little. I hadn’t seen him in person in over a month but my heart hadn’t forgotten how it felt about him.

  I really wished it would.

  My lady bits weren’t much better. They longed to savor the feel of his fingers against them, to feel him buried inside me.

  It had been a long time since we’d been together that way. Now, I just had my memories and my friendly purple dildo to help me out.

  My breath released as if I’d sprung a slow leak. In the past month, I had lost the man who I’d thought was becoming my close friend, and I had lost hope that somewhere in Chicago was a man who’d be happy to discover he would soon have a son.

  Okay, I’ll admit it. I’d foolishly been fantasizing that not only would Grayson be thrilled to hear he was going to be a father, he would be eager for us to become a family.

  True, I hadn’t known him very well—all right, not well at all—but the Grayson I’d met that night had been a nice guy. Friendly. Funny. Sweet.

  Pretty much like Stephen.

  And Logan.

  He’d seemed like the kind of man I wanted as the father of my child.

  “You’re just in time.” Logan gave me a simple nod from behind the three girls.

  My squee-ing heart?

  It sagged in my chest. I had no idea what I’d done wrong, but it felt like he was moving on from our friendship and had forgotten to send me the memo.

  Oh, well. We just had to survive the fundraiser together, after which he would be free of me.

  Tomorrow was the last day of school. Livi would no longer be one of my students, and Logan would never have to see me again.

  And splat. My heart was now a sorrowful mess on Logan’s hardwood floor.

  Oops.

  “The pizza arrived a few minutes ago,” Hannah said. “We’re giving the kids theirs, then we can get to work.”

  A short time later, the kids had finished eating their dinner and were watching the live-action Cinderella on TV in the living room. We were discussing the final details for the fundraiser, making sure nothing was missed. Even Wes had been recruited by Hannah to help us out.

  “The stage will be set up for the MC to present the different prizes up for auction,” he reminded us. “The Rock players and the local celebrities participating in the auction will go on stage one at a time. Because let’s face it, they’re the reason the tickets sold out.”

  He was right about that. Excitement toward the event was far greater than I had initially anticipated—all thanks to everyone in the room and the individuals who had generously donated the prizes.

  “Mrs. A, can you put this on me, please?” Livi held out her hand.

  I carefully picked up the gold chain and gasped as it untangled, revealing the scripted letters that spelled “Believe.”

  It looked exactly like the one Logan had given me many years ago. The one I’d lost the night I was with Grayson.

  Did Stacy have one, too? Or had he only given them to Livi and me?

  “This is beautiful, Livi. I used to have one like it. A friend of mine who I cared a lot about gave it to me as a graduation gift.” I fought against the urge to look in Logan’s direction, to see if he remembered what I was talking about. “Unfortunately, the clasp came undone one night while I was wearing it, and I lost the pendant.” I smiled at her and flipped it over.

  My gaze dropped to the “B,” to a groove in the gold.

  The air in my lungs froze, and my eyes went wide.

  It can’t be…

  My pendant had the exact same marking—a marking that hadn’t been there when Logan gave it to me.

  It had happened a few years ago, completely by accident.

  What were the chances that two identical pendants had the same groove that wasn’t part of the original design?

  “When did you get this?” I asked Livi, doing my best to keep the panic from my voice. My pulse thumped in my ears, It’s not what you think, it’s not what you think, it’s not what you think…

  “It’s Daddy’s,” Livi said proudly.

  The entire table was quiet, watching us. All the adults appeared curious at my question.

  All the adults except for Logan.

  A flock of emotions flickered on his face, the most prominent one being Fuck.

  There was only one way he could have ended up with this.

  Oh, God. How could I have been such an idiot? Yes, Grayson’s hair had been shorter than Logan’s, but the style was similar. The waves were similar.

  And they both had light-blue eyes. I just hadn’t been able to tell they were the same eyes because his mask had affected my perception of them.

  As for the bruises that were standard issue when it came to being a hockey player? It had been too dark in the cabin for me to have properly registered them. In the flicker of firelight, they were easily brushed off as shadows.

  It also explained why my body had reacted the same way to both men when they touched me.

  When they kissed me.

  When they fucked me.

  My body recognized what my brain had failed to acknowledge.

  But if I hadn’t realized Grayson Mathews was actually Logan Mathews, did that mean he hadn’t known it was me that night either?

  “No,” would have been the easy ans
wer, but I suspected it wasn’t as simple as that.

  For starters, his voice had been different that night…like he had been altering it slightly so that I didn’t recognize it.

  All this time, he had to have known, but he never said anything.

  His expression confirmed I was right. He had figured it out that night.

  “Did you know?” My voice splintered into a thousand pieces. “The night of the ball, did you know it was me?”

  I could feel everyone’s rapt eyes watching me, but my gaze was locked on Logan, the blood rapidly draining from my face.

  Love Bug picked that moment to poke an arm or a foot into my side, reminding me that my pendant’s loss wasn’t the only consequence of that night.

  I lightly pressed my palm against the spot, letting him know that everything would be all right. He and I would be all right.

  Logan and me? Not so much.

  Logan’s lack of a reply was hardly comforting.

  You wanted Love Bug’s father to know that the two of you are having a baby, a voice in my head reminded me. Now’s your chance to tell him.

  Right. But that was when I believed the man had been a stranger, someone I could tell the news to over the phone, and then move on with my life—regardless of whether he wanted to be part of Love Bug’s life.

  That was prior to finding out that Logan had lied to me.

  And you didn’t lie to him? You didn’t tell him you were pregnant with your dead husband’s sperm?

  “That night…when did you figure out it was me?” The words felt like they were being pushed past a block of gritty sandpaper. “Was it before or after we…?” I let the rest of the sentence hang, knowing full well that the other adults in the room could easily fill in the blanks.

  It was Livi who I wanted to remain oblivious to the truth.

  Uncertainty blanketed the air, suffocating me.

  Logan had made it clear he didn’t want to be in another relationship until he retired from hockey. He wasn’t interested in having any more kids until then, either. His hockey career and his daughter were his first priorities.

  The best thing about being pregnant?

  That’s right, the predictability of my unpredictable hormones. One minute I could be horny, the next a crying mess.

  Any other time, I could have walked out of that condo, keeping my emotions in check until I was safe from prying eyes.

  Unfortunately, pregnancy obliterated that option.

  My gaze blurred as hot tears pushed their way to freedom. I sniffed and shoved away from the table. “I’m sorry…I…just remembered I need to be somewhere else.”

  Like on another planet.

  Jupiter looked like a nice place to inhabit—once you got past the part where it was composed of gas and was super cold.

  Livi watched me with wide eyes.

  Even Max in Max Thunder and the Ocean of Secrets had it easier than this. He just had to deal with a pissed-off kraken.

  Easy-peasy.

  Logan stood up from his chair. “Look, Kiera, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you then that it was me. I didn’t know how you would feel if you found out.”

  This just kept getting better and better.

  Math had never been my best subject, but even I knew that the compounding of lies was never a good thing.

  It just made for one big explosion.

  Useful for when tackling the kraken.

  Not so helpful here.

  Everyone else shifted in their seats, clearly uncomfortable at the turn of events. They weren’t the only ones. I was beginning to have a new respect for how zoo animals felt with people staring at them, waiting to be thrilled with some daring stunt.

  “We should leave you guys to talk,” Emma said.

  “No, that’s okay,” I rushed to say. It wasn’t like Logan and I could talk anyway, not in front of Livi. I brushed my hand against my cheek, smearing the mess of tears, and sat. “We need to finish finalizing everything.” Preferably before I had another hormonal meltdown.

  Emma and Hannah shared a glance. I could tell they had a billion and one questions. Questions I didn’t want to face.

  Cradling my belly, I resumed our previous discussion, doing my best to pretend the last five minutes hadn’t happened.

  Doing my best to pretend the father of my child wasn’t sitting at the table.

  What I needed was to conference with my two besties.

  What I needed was to pee. You’re a genius, I thought, sending the mental message to Love Bug, hoping he could read minds while he was in my belly.

  I stood up. “Excuse me for a moment. My son’s been busy kicking my bladder.”

  I grabbed my phone and bailed.

  Once inside the safety of the bathroom, I pulled my panties down and sat on the toilet.

  I didn’t have much time until everyone would start to wonder what happened to me, so I needed to multitask while peeing.

  I called Ava first. “I’m going to do a conference call with you and Chloe,” I told her as soon as she answered. My voice was low so no one outside the bathroom could hear me. “Hold on a second.”

  Thirty seconds later, I had them both on the line. “Logan is Grayson,” I whispered, my gaze taking in the gray color scheme of the room—the wooden rack holding small jars of shaving supplies, combs, cotton swabs.

  “Why are you whispering?” Ava asked.

  “Because I’m in his bathroom, and Emma and Travis Hamilton and Hannah and Wes Chiasson, and Livi and a bunch little kids are in his living room. I discovered that Logan is the man I had sex with in Lake Tahoe. He’s Love Bug’s father. What do I do?” The words came out in one hot, sticky mess. I’d be surprised if Ava and Chloe understood anything I said.

  “How do you know he’s Grayson?”

  “I lost my ‘Believe’ pendant when Logan and I were…you know…”

  “Fornicating?” Chloe asked.

  Despite everything, I laughed. “Yes. That. Anyway, his daughter has the pendant. She said it was her father’s. I recognized it because it’s damaged in exactly the same spot as mine. And when I asked him if he knew it was me the night of the masquerade ball, he didn’t deny it.”

  If I wasn’t sitting on the toilet, I’d be pacing in the small bathroom as I spoke. Maybe then I’d had a better chance of piecing everything together.

  “Did you tell him he’s Love Bug’s father?”

  “No.”

  “What did you tell him?” Ava asked.

  “That I had to go to the bathroom. I don’t know what to tell him. What do I tell him?”

  My breath was coming in fast and shallow. I really needed to pace. That would help me think things through.

  “Breathe, Kiera. It will be all right.”

  “No, it won’t!” My whisper came out louder than planned. I closed my eyes and fought to regain control of my emotions. “It was okay when I thought my baby’s father lived in Chicago, and I had no idea if he would want to be part of Love Bug’s life. But I know Logan, and I know he doesn’t have room in his life for our baby. And he’s made it perfectly clear he’s not looking for a girlfriend.”

  Which would be fine if my body didn’t respond every time he was near me and if my heart wasn’t falling for him.

  I did have to admit, though, if you examined way, way, way deep inside me, a tiny part of me—that had come to grips with Logan’s betrayal—was happy he was my baby’s father.

  Because despite my recent discovery, there was no one else I’d rather be the father of my child, other than Stephen.

  He was certainly more preferable to some stranger who lived over two thousand miles away.

  “You need to tell him, Kiera,” Ava said. “If he’s still going to be part of your life, you need to tell him the truth.”

  “But that’s the thing, I don’t know if he’ll be part of my life. Things were great between us, and then suddenly, he pulled away. The only reason I’m even here is because of the fundraiser. Once that’s over, there won’t
be any more reasons for us to be together.”

  “Hello, I think you have a good reason growing in the stomach.”

  A light rap on the door intruded on the conversation. “Kiera, are you okay in there?” Logan asked.

  “I’m fine,” I squeaked. “I’m almost finished. I drank more water before coming here than I realized.”

  “Are you talking to someone on the phone?” His voice sounded bemused.

  “Yes, it’s Chloe. She’s having, um…boyfriend issues.”

  “Hey, I’m not having boyfriend issues,” an undignified voice in my ear grumbled.

  “I know that,” I whispered, “but he doesn’t.”

  “Right.”

  Logan’s footfalls moved away from the bathroom door.

  “Kiera,” Ava said. “You have to tell him the truth. He has the right to know he’s going to be a father.”

  “At least he lives in the same city as you and Love Bug,” Chloe pointed out. “He can be part of his son’s life. More so than Grayson from Chicago could’ve been.”

  “Right.” That was more for my benefit than anyone else’s, but she did have a point. Except… “I will tell him. But I can’t tell him yet.”

  “Why not today? The sooner you tell him, the better. As it is, he thinks his best friend is really the father of his son.”

  Yes, that did make things slightly trickier.

  Okay, a steamy-pile-of-manure trickier.

  “I don’t know when I’ll be able to tell him. His daughter’s here, so even after everyone else leaves, I still can’t say anything. She needs to hear from her father—not from me—that she’s going to have a half brother. And I can’t tell him for at least the week. Not with his team in the finals. He doesn’t need that kind of distraction.”

  “The longer you wait to tell him, the harder it will be for everyone concerned,” Ava pointed out. “Now that you know the truth, you can’t keep pretending Stephen is your baby’s father.”

  “Sure I can. I’ve been doing a great job.” Other than my sister figuring out the truth before anyone else did. “I should probably get back to the meeting.” I promised them that I’d call them later and ended the call.

  After finishing up in the bathroom, I walked to the now empty living room. “What happened to everyone?”

  Did aliens abduct them while I was peeing?