Darkness Within

by Carli Castle

  She took a staggering step and turned from him, telling herself he wasn’t doing this. That this was nothing more than a nightmare.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered and her anger flared.

  “You’re sorry.” She turned to him, her eyes dry now. “You’ve been leading me on for months, telling me you loved me. Now you’re saying it was all a lie, and you’re sorry.”

  “I understand you’re angry with me, and you have a right to be, but I wanted to be honest with you.”

  She didn’t plan it, she didn’t even want to, because she didn’t use her hands to hurt people, but her hand shot forward and she slapped him across the face. She put all the strength she had into it, even her shock power. He closed his eyes and staggered back, but he didn’t look surprised, and he didn’t look angry.

  She immediately turned from him, refusing to feel guilty for putting her hands on him. It was disrespectful, it was uncalled for, but she was too angry to care. She walked away from a place that, until that moment, had been her favorite place in the world. Now, that was ruined for her. He’d ruined her.

  After teleporting to palace grounds, she finally let the tears come.

  She pressed her face into her hands, using a wall to hold herself up, because her knees were weak. Everything inside her hurt.

  She sobbed until her stomach hurt from the strain, until her throat ached.

  When she was able to stand again she walked inside, her head held high, her anger riding inside her as blood ran in her veins.

  Her family was in the dining room, starting on dinner, which was odd to her, since dinner was normally served about an hour earlier.

  Harper had taken the seat at the far end of the table, away from the rest, but Elle didn’t want to stop and wonder why that was unusual. Her mother looked up at her with angry eyes when she entered.

  “Is this the manner in which you join your family for dinner, Eleanore,” she snapped, half rising off her chair, but Elle didn’t pay her any attention. She looked at her father, so angry she could barely see straight.

  “What is it, Eleanore,” he asked her and she was almost taken aback by the concern in his voice. “Have you been crying?”

  She slammed her hand on the table. “You will be happy to know it’s done. Not because I wanted to, but because he did,” she ground out, more tears sliding down her face. The fact that Lucas had broken up with her was not technically her father’s fault, but she wanted to take this pain out on someone, and who better than the one who’d wanted her to break it off in the first place?

  “Elle,” Harper whispered, but Elle didn’t even spare her a glance. Her eyes were all for her father and his bewildered expression.

  “I don’t…”

  “Don’t tell me you don’t understand!” she yelled. “Why are you doing this to me? What did I do for you to hate me this much?”

  As her father frowned deeply and began to rise from his chair, her mother came to his side and ran her hand down his arm.

  “Eleanore, if you can’t speak like a civilized human, you will leave this room right this second,” she said, her voice silky, but her eyes sharp as daggers.

  “How can you condone this?” Elle asked her.

  “Eleanore…” her father began, but her mother lifted a hand that silenced him immediately.

  “You will show us, your parents, the respect we are owed,” her mother said. “Now go up to your bedroom and we shall speak later about the consequences of your behavior.”

  Elle looked at her sisters—both of whom looked completely shocked—turned, and left for her wing.

  Only a few minutes later, a knock on her door had her sitting up in bed, where she had dropped as soon as she got to her room.

  “If you’re here to punish me, I don’t want to hear it,” she said as the door inched open. But it wasn’t her mother. Harper and Aiessa entered the room quietly, and sat on either side of her on the bed.

  “Do you want to tell us what happened down there,” Aiessa asked her.

  Elle shook her head, tears already starting to stream down her face again.

  “Well, then, if you say nothing, I will just have to make assumptions,” Aiessa said and Harper looked at her pointedly.

  “Aiessa, could you please be a little more tactful,” Harper said and Aiessa shrugged and rolled her eyes. Harper put her arm around Elle. “Is there something we can do to help?”

  Elle shook her head again as a sob broke free.

  “Does it have something to do with Lucas,” Aiessa asked.

  “Isn’t that obvious,” she asked her sisters, leaning her head on Harper’s shoulder and letting the tears come. Truth be told, she was glad they were there with her. It made the whole process much less lonely.

  “Did father make you break up with him,” Aiessa asked.

  Elle gazed at her, because Aiessa’s tone spoke of having experience in the matter. Elle didn’t know for sure, as Aiessa had always been extremely private with her romantic life. Or the lack of it.

  “You mean they made me do it,” Elle rectified, because mother was not clear in all this. “They found out and demanded I break it off with Lucas, but I wasn’t going to go down without a fight.”

  “What do you mean,” Harper asked.

  “I came up with a plan. I would escape with Lucas to just about anywhere he wanted to go, live our lives.” A fresh wave of tears fell on her face. “But he didn’t want to do that.”

  “What are you talking about?” Aiessa inquired, sitting back on her heels. “You have been spending all your time with him. I assumed he…”

  “He doesn’t love me,” she interrupted Aiessa, because she didn’t want to hear it. Lucas didn’t love her. He never did.

  “And he said that to you.” Aiessa put her hand on Elle’s knee.

  “He did. Do you have any idea how it hurts to have someone you love this deeply say that?”

  Elle rode the wave of pain as her sisters hugged her. At that moment, with Aiessa sitting at her left, and Harper to her right, she felt grateful, despite the pain. She was grateful that she had her sisters with her, that she had support and love.

  “Thank you for being here with me,” she sobbed, her words so clipped she thought her sisters would not be able to understand her.

  “He shouldn’t be allowed to do this.” Harper let go of her and stood abruptly. “Why is he allowed to ruin our lives like this and see no consequences?”

  Aiessa just sat there, but Elle followed Harper with her eyes. She was pacing back and forth now, and she was red, and angry. With everything happening, seeing Harper display such emotion was a shock to Elle, and even to Aiessa, because she was staring at Harper with her mouth open.

  “I understand father was the one that started all this, but Lucas was the one who ultimately broke things off,” Aiessa pointed out, then cringed a little. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be. He did break up with me. That idiot.”

  “He is an idiot,” Harper said. “I’m sorry about my outburst.”

  Elle looked at Harper, who had sat next to her again, and Elle realized something had changed in her sister. What that was, she was not sure yet, but something was definitely different now.

  “Sometimes it’s healthy to show emotion, you know,” Elle told her and she smiled slightly. Elle bumped Aiessa with her shoulder. “That goes for you, as well.”

  Aiessa put her arm around Elle again. “I’m sorry, little sister. I can imagine how difficult this is for you.”

  Elle leaned on her, dreading the long night ahead.

  ***

  Lucas sat in Caleb’s office later that night, his eyes staring at nothing in particular as Caleb took out the four spheres and began placing them around the room.

  His heart felt like it had literally broken into a million little pieces. He didn’t want to be around people. He didn’t want to talk to the High Priests, he didn’t want to hear what they had to say.

  His cheek burned like he’d had a red-hot
coal on it.

  He’d come here to talk to his brother about everything, but upon arriving, he found he couldn’t talk about any of it just yet.

  He knew Elle was hurting, that she was probably crying and hating him. And he didn’t blame her, he hated himself just as much. He hated his circumstances most of all.

  “Are you just going to sit there staring into space,” Caleb asked from across the room, where he stood with one of the spheres still in his hand. “What’s the matter with you?”

  “I broke up with Elle,” he blurted, unable to stop the words from coming.

  Caleb sighed. “I’m sorry.” He sounded sorry, which was nice. Not that Lucas needed for people to feel sorry for him. It just felt good for someone to acknowledge that this sucked. That was all. “When did this happen?”

  “Tonight.”

  Caleb walked toward him and took the seat across from him.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I wanted to, but when I got here you were busy, and I choked.”

  “I won’t ask how you’re feeling, because I have an idea.”

  Lucas nodded. “Ah, yes. Harper. Aren’t we a pair?”

  A knock interrupted anything Caleb was about to say, and their mother walked into the room. She seemed a little surprised to see Lucas, and he understood, since he wasn’t supposed to even be there.

  He didn’t care.

  “What are you doing here, I thought you were going to wait for me to call on you?” She hugged Caleb, then him.

  “I came to talk to Caleb about stuff,” he said.

  He needed to be honest with himself. He was a little angry at her, because she had been the one to point out that he had to protect Elle.

  Who was he kidding? He was lying to himself, because he had already known that he was a menace to Elle and the rest of society. His mother was just smart enough to call him on it.

  He still hated it.

  Mom sat in the corner as Caleb stood and placed the sphere on the floor with the others.

  His mother was sitting in a corner, throwing him glances. He tried to avoid looking at her, or even glaring—which is what he wanted to do—because he didn’t want her to ask questions. He wasn’t ready to talk about anything, least of all Elle. He wanted to brood for another decade or so.

  He didn’t watch in fascination as the circle drew itself in light on the floor, nor the patterns. He didn’t care. He wanted to be alone. Maybe sleep for a really long time.

  Soon, the four High Priests were standing in the office.

  “Caleb, do you have any news…” Althea stopped talking when her eyes fell on his mother, who had stood and was walking to stand in front of her. “Demetria.” Her voice became curt.

  “Althea.” His mom’s voice was just as brisk.

  Althea glanced at Caleb. “What is going on here?”

  “Althea, I’m here to talk to you. My son only provided the way to do it,” Mom said, and Althea’s nostrils flared.

  “I have nothing to say to you, Demetria.”

  “It’s Mary Agnes now. It has been for a long time.”

  “To me, you will always be Demetria.”

  His mom laughed, but it was humorless. “If I was still Demetria to you, I don’t think you’d be this cold toward me, Thea.”

  “You’re not allowed to call me that anymore.” Althea stepped away from the circle. The two were looking at each other as if there weren’t five men witnessing the to and fro.

  Althea’s three companions shifted uneasily, standing in the background like a weird trio of bodyguards.

  “Why are you here,” Althea asked his mother. Lucas sat back, glad to have this distraction. It helped dull the throb in his chest.

  “I’m here to plead for my son,” Mom said and had Althea’s attention. It was in the way she straightened her back.

  “Whatever happens with Lucas has nothing to do with you anymore.” Althea turned away, but his mom grabbed her arm. “Do not touch me.”

  “Or what,” Mom asked defiantly. “I can kick your sorry rump, goddess or not.”

  “I want to see you try,” Althea growled.

  “Look, I’m not here to bring up the past, I’m here for the present and future of the realm.”

  “Sure you are. Just like you were when you gave up your powers to be a mere mortal. Right?” Althea shook his mom’s hand away.

  Mom didn’t answer for a moment. “I would do it again,” she whispered. “But I am not here to talk about that. My past decisions, or whatever problem there may be between you and me, Thea, they’re gone. This is so much bigger than us and our issues.”

  “And I am aware of that, but there is nothing I can do, or I would have done it.”

  “I know there is nothing you can do as far as the powers go, but there is something I can do,” Mom said. “And that’s why I’m here. I will not sit back and watch these powers destroy my son. He is not a god, Thea, but while we try to find a solution for his mortal body to handle the powers, Lucas had an idea that might help.”

  “And what do you propose we do,” Althea asked.

  “I can help train him to control the powers that have surfaced,” Mom said. “It was his idea, and while I still believe we have to release the powers from him, I can help him understand them. I just need your approval.”

  How did his mother figure they would release the powers from him? He only had one heart, and all four powers resided in there.

  “That’s impossible,” Althea said. “His powers reside in his heart, there is only one way to take them, and that is to kill him, which is what you’re trying to avoid.”

  “There are other ways and you know it,” Mom said and Althea was shaking her head even before she finished the short sentence.

  “Demetria, you are insane if you think we can manage this.”

  “Thea, please,” Mom whispered. “Put aside how much you hate me. Save my son.”

  Althea sighed slowly, looking at his mother the entire time.

  “I can’t promise anything,” she said after a long silence. “I will go up and talk to the grand council, that’s all I can do for you.”

  “That is all I ask. Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me, yet.” Althea took a step back when his mother would have hugged her. “Also, yes, I give you the approval you need to help Lucas with the powers.”

  “Thank you,” Mom said.

  “And I don’t hate you; I’m upset that you abandoned us for life down here.”

  Lucas was becoming more and more confused with this conversation. It was obvious his mother and Althea had a past, though he wasn’t going to ask about it. He couldn’t bring himself to care enough.

  “I will be back later with news,” Althea said and she and the three other High Priests disappeared.

  “You want to tell me what all that was about,” Lucas asked Caleb and his mom as soon as the others were gone and the spheres were put away. “We’re going to get the powers released from me?”

  It sounded great to him. These powers had taken his peace, his liberty, and the love of his life away from him. He wanted them out. However, he didn’t want to die, and that was usually how that happened.

  “That’s the plan,” his mom said.

  “And you think it will work?” Caleb limped over to her.

  “Would you sit,” she commanded him and he did so. “You seriously need to go to your father to get fully healed.”

  “I have more important things to do,” Caleb told her.

  She took a deep breath but said nothing else. “I’m hoping it will work out. At the very least, they could do something to restore his godly attributes, which he would have if he had been born when I was still a goddess. It would help quite a lot.”

  “You think?” Lucas said sarcastically and stood, unable to sit there any longer. “When you have news, let me know.”

  He walked out, ignoring them when they called him back, and teleported home, where he could go to bed in the da
rk and not be judged for feeling sorry for himself.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “So this is what depression looks like.” Caleb stood just outside the door as Lucas just stood there in his pajamas. He hadn’t been to work in over two weeks, and he’d sent everyone away whenever they'd tried to visit. Mom was probably trying to help him get over Elle whenever he was there for his daily practices, so Caleb didn’t want to add to it. “I have to admit I have been depressed, but this is just sad.”

  Caleb walked inside when Lucas walked away, dragging his feet on the floor. There was trash everywhere, half eaten bowls of soup, apple cores, newspapers, drawings. Most of the drawings were of Elle.

  He wasn’t exactly surprised, but he could safely say he was very concerned for his brother. Seeing him so distraught, his home a mess, was too much for him to handle. Something had to be done.

  “You haven’t been to work in two weeks, and you’ve decided to become a hermit, all of a sudden?” Caleb said to Lucas, who lay face down on the couch. “You want to talk about it?”

  “I want to talk about nothing.” Lucas’s speech was a bit blurred, probably from not getting any sleep. He looked exhausted, with dark bags under his eyes and sallow skin.

  Caleb sat. “It’s actually good for you to talk about things.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “Well, I do.” Caleb stood again and grabbed Lucas by the elbow. “Come on, we’re going out.”

  “I don’t want to go out.”

  “Shocking.” Caleb continued to pull at his arm, until Lucas finally stood and followed Caleb to the master bedroom. There were papers everywhere in there too, mostly drawings. He went to the closet and pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt. He remembered it was getting a bit cold that day, so he pulled out a hooded sweater, as well. He threw them at Lucas when he was out of the closet. “Put these on, we’re going out.”

  “You are stubborn as a bull.”

  “Hi kettle, you’re black.”

  Lucas did a rude gesture with his hand, but proceeded to put on his clothes. Soon, they were out the door and on their way. He was going to take his brother to a bar. They had never been to a bar together, but Lucas needed a change of pace.