Xavier Cold

by Michelle A. Valentine

  “Thank you.”

  Standing up to Father was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life, but I’m glad I made it clear that I’m in love with Xavier. Father should know now that I never plan on returning to Portland to marry Jorge. Xavier completely has my heart.

  I glance at my cell phone. “I can’t believe it’s nearly five already.”

  “Five? Shit.” Quinn pops up from her chair like someone lit a fire under it. “I have to be at work in forty-five minutes. Let me go get changed, and I’ll drop you off on the way, Anna.”

  “Okay.”

  The moment Quinn leaves the room, Aunt Dee sets her brown eyes on me. “I know I harp on this every time I see you, but have you thought about calling your father? My poor brother has been going out of his mind since he discovered you’re in love with that hunky fighter.”

  “He’s a wrestler,” I correct her.

  She tilts her head. “Is that different?”

  “Very much so. Not only does Xavier have to be physically in shape, but he also has to be able to follow a script and put on a show for the fans. Fighters just step into the ring and focus on inflicting physical pain on their opponents. Wrestling . . . it’s a mixture of physicality and acting.”

  “Quinn told me you’re a part of the show now. Does that mean, you’ll have to fight someone in the ring? You know your father will go ballistic if he sees that on TV.”

  “I’m not trained for that, so that will probably never happen—” Something she said just registers in my brain. “Are you saying Father watches Tension?”

  “Every time it’s on,” she confirms. “He told me it gives him peace of mind to catch glimpses of you. He worries about your safety.”

  “I didn’t know he did that. He hates wrestling.”

  She reaches over and lays her hand on top of mine on the table. “That might be true, but he loves you even though it doesn’t feel that way to you at times. He’s harsh, and I’m in no way condoning his actions toward how he was trying to force you to live your life, but I do understand his grief about missing his only daughter. I don’t know what I would ever do if Quinn wasn’t speaking to me.”

  “I don’t think that would ever happen. Quinn loves you too much.”

  “At one time, you loved your father, too.”

  “I still love him. I’m just mad at him right now.”

  “Then, promise me, when you’re both ready to let your anger go, you’ll allow him an opportunity to apologize to you. Simon is a good man, but it’s hard for him to see that he’s not always right about things. He’s been that way since we were kids. When he saw that I was never going to bend to his will, he eventually gave in and stopped trying to change me. He learned to love my crazy ways even if he didn’t fully understand them.”

  “You think that will happen between us? Right now, I feel like he hates me for running out on Jorge and for embarrassing the family.”

  Aunt Dee smiles. “He loves you, sweet girl, and love always conquers everything.”

  Quinn comes bouncing in the room, wearing a work uniform that says Property of Larry’s. “Ready, Anna?”

  “Yeah.” I push myself out of my seat at the table and stretch my arms over my head, attempting to ease the stiffness in my back from sleeping on the hardwood floor last night. “Can I ask for a favor before we go?”

  “Anything,” Quinn answers instantly.

  “Can I borrow the air mattress I slept on while I was here?”

  Quinn furrows her brow. “Sure, but why do you need it?”

  At first, I think about telling her the truth—that Xavier couldn’t bring himself to sleep in his mother’s bed or on the couch in the living room because his mother had died on it—but I decide to keep Xavier’s heartbreaking past to myself.

  “The bed at the house is like sleeping on the floor. The air mattress is much more comfortable.”

  “Okay. Let me grab it out of the closet for you.” She dashes off and then returns with the portable bed and the sheets and blankets that I used on it. “I figured you might need these, too, since I know they fit the mattress pretty well.”

  I wrap my arms around everything. “Thank you. This will help so much.”

  Quinn smiles. “Awesome. Now, let’s get on the road before I’m late, and Andy jumps all over my ass.”

  I laugh as I follow her out the door, and I throw a good-bye to Aunt Dee over my shoulder.

  We load the stuff into her trunk while she prattles on about Larry’s. “Things are so much better since Alice’s bitchy ass has been fired. Andy promoted me to shift supervisor. Can you believe that? He says he knows he can count on me.”

  “Congratulations! That’s awesome news.”

  “Thanks. The extra money has really come at a good time. Paying for a wedding is expensive.”

  We hop in the car and the mention of the cost of what it takes to get married causes the corners of my mouth to pull down. Father sank a pretty penny into the wedding he and Mother were planning for Jorge and me, and that makes me feel guilty because my family doesn’t exactly have a lot of money to spare.

  She fires up the car. “Uh-oh. What’s wrong, Anna?”

  “Nothing’s wrong.” I forgot how well she could read me.

  “I call bullshit on that one,” she throws back at me as she pulls out onto the road. “I know that look. That beautiful face of yours is incapable of disguising sadness, especially those green eyes. They are, as people say, the windows to your soul.”

  I turn to stare out the window in an attempt to hide my emotions from her, but the moment I do, something catches my eye and causes my jaw to drop open.

  “Xavier?” I whisper his name.

  “He’s the problem?”

  “No . . . yes . . .” I tumble over my own words, not realizing I said it out loud. “I mean, I see him.”

  “Where?” She gasps when I’m sure she spots the same scene I’m witnessing in front of my very eyes. “Oh, hell no.”

  She jerks her car over to the side of the street where Xavier is standing, bumping her tire on the curb in the process.

  Quinn turns to me. “Are you going to kill him, or do I get the pleasure? Don’t let him get away with that shit, Anna, or so help me, I will revoke your lady nuggets.”

  “Oh, I’ve got this one.” I fling open the car door. “Keep the motor running.”

  “Will do,” Quinn says.

  I hop out and march in Xavier’s direction. My heart thunders in my chest as adrenaline flows through my veins. A million things I want to scream at him pop into my mind as I head right for him. I take in a shaky breath when I pass the girl who just kissed my man hops into a white Mercedes.

  Who in the hell is she?

  Xavier immediately holds up his hands in surrender, and I can tell by the shock on his face that he didn’t expect to see me here. “Anna . . . it’s not what it looks like.”

  “Save it. I know what I saw. You kissed her!” Tears burn my eyes as betrayal rocks through me.

  Flashbacks of the night when Deena was strutting around Xavier’s hotel room in nothing but some lingerie flip through my head. He hurt me once. What’s stopping him from going behind my back again to sleep with someone else?

  I swat the tears away as my stare bores into him, waiting on his explanation for allowing another woman to kiss him. Xavier reaches for me, but I smack his hands away.

  “No. Don’t touch me. Explain yourself.”

  His crystal-blue eyes soften. “Anna, please, calm down.”

  “Oh my God. This is her? How do you even put up with it?”

  I whip around to find the source of the female voice bashing me, and my eyes land on the gorgeous Latina woman who I saw with him moments ago.

  She is standing between the open driver’s door and the car as she focuses her gaze in our direction. “Seriously, X, what do you see in her?”

  Pain from the truth of her words slices through me. Many times, I’ve questioned what he sees in me when h
e can obviously have any woman he wants.

  “Get back in the car, Angie,” Xavier orders. When she doesn’t move to follow his order, he adds, “Now.”

  Angie shrugs. “I think I would rather stay here and watch you talk your way out of our kiss to your little girlfriend.”

  “We didn’t fucking kiss,” he fires back at her. “You kissed me. It’s not the same thing.”

  A wicked smile crosses her face. “You didn’t exactly tell me no either. If this girl is going to be with you, she should learn that you’re not exactly a one-woman kind of guy.”

  “Shut up, Angie. This doesn’t fucking concern you.”

  I flinch at his tone. It’s the same tone he took with Deena. Is this how he treats a woman when he’s done with her? Will he treat me that way one day?

  “Fine,” Angie sighs. Then, she flips her long dark hair over her shoulder. “But if you change your mind about my offer from earlier, you know where to find me.” With that, she slips into her car, slams the door, and pulls out onto the street.

  I stare up at Xavier and fold my arms. “Another old friend?”

  “Don’t worry about her,” he replies without a speck of emotion on his face. Then, he reaches for me, but I step back before he can touch me. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

  I lift my chin. “No. I’m not going anywhere until you explain to me how you ended up standing on a sidewalk, kissing some old girlfriend.”

  “She was never my girlfriend.”

  “Then, just another girl you made a special arrangement with, like Deena?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Will that be me someday—just some other woman you once had a fuck-buddy relationship with?”

  He scrubs his hand down his face. “How many times do I have to explain to you that you’re different? You’re nothing like the women I’ve been with before.”

  “How do I know you didn’t feed them the same lines you’ve been feeding me? I won’t be able to handle you breaking my heart, Xavier.”

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  “Then, explain to me why you were with her,” I demand, wanting the full truth from him.

  His face twists and I can tell he’s holding something back from me.

  “I can’t do that,” he says.

  My heart crumbles, and I clutch my chest in an attempt to hold it together. “If you keep things from me, how am I supposed to ever trust you?”

  “There are some things you don’t need to know, beautiful,” he answers coolly. “Just be satisfied with what I can tell you.”

  I square my shoulders. “That’s not good enough.”

  Seeing that I’m not getting anywhere with this, I take a few steps away from him, toward Quinn’s car. “Come find me when you feel like telling me the truth.”

  He stands there with a blank expression, but makes no attempts to chase after me.

  Devastated, I turn and race to the Honda, not daring to look back.

  I close myself inside. “Drive.”

  She doesn’t question me, just shoves the transmission into gear and slams on the gas.

  “Holy shit. What happened back there?” she asks.

  I rest my head in my hand. “I’m not even sure.”

  “Who was the woman?”

  I pinch the bridge of my nose. I would like more details about that myself. “Her name is Angie, and apparently, she’s a woman from his past.”

  “His past? Are you saying that’s an old girlfriend?”

  “Girlfriend is a pretty specific title, one Xavier never uses when it comes to women he’s been with.”

  “You mean, she was an old fuck buddy of his? What the hell was he doing with her?”

  “He wouldn’t tell me. He said it was basically none of my business.” Repeating it out loud causes my lower lip to quiver. “Do you think he—oh God.”

  The tears can’t be stopped now. The very thought of Xavier being with another woman causes a sharp pain to rip through my chest, and I gasp for breath. My hand covers my mouth as I attempt to stop from crying, but it’s no use. This hurts so damn bad.

  “Oh, Anna.” Quinn reaches over and takes my hand. “I’m sure he wouldn’t do that. Xavier might be a big brute of a man, but he’s not stupid. He wouldn’t risk losing you over some random piece of ass.”

  “He’s done it before with Deena.” I take a deep breath.

  Quinn’s brows furrow. “I know this sounds like I’m siding with him, but that situation with Deena was technically before the two of you were together. Do you really think he’d pull that shit now that you are official?”

  “I didn’t think he would, but what other reason would he have to be with her and not explain the situation? I saw her kiss him, and he did nothing to deter my doubting mind from thinking the worst when I confronted him about it.”

  “What exactly did he say?”

  I sniff as I try to steady my breathing. “That there were some things I didn’t need to know about.”

  Quinn twists her lips in an obvious show of questioning thought. “Do you trust him?”

  “Yes, but sometimes, it’s hard because of all the secrets he keeps from me. He rarely opens up about himself, and I’m always left with millions of questions that he refuses to answer. Seeing what I did just now . . . it shakes my faith in our relationship. What in the hell will he be doing behind my back when I’m on the road? Now, I know I’ll worry the entire time.”

  “Then, you need to tell him that. Honesty in a relationship is always the best policy. Trust me on that one. It took me and Brock a while to get on the same page, but now that we’re there, things are so much better.”

  “That’s easier said than done, Quinn. Xavier doesn’t like talking about his past. He gets angry whenever the subject comes up. He . . .” I hesitate for a moment, but I decide that a little insight into Xavier’s past won’t hurt. “Xavier really had it rough as a kid. The things he’s told me—they break my heart. If he keeps that to himself, what else will he keep from me?”

  She’s quiet for a moment and then says, “You need to talk to him, tell him how you feel.”

  Tears streak down my face. “What if he refuses to open up and come clean about why he was with that girl?”

  She frowns. “If he can’t give you complete honesty, as much as it hurts, it might be time to face the possibility that Xavier isn’t the right man for you.”

  My heart squeezes as the reality of her words hit me full force. As much as I don’t want that to happen, I know Quinn has a point. I can’t live my life going through pain like this because Xavier refuses to let me into what’s going on with both his past and present issues.

  One thing is clear. Xavier and I need to deal with this issue before it completely tears us apart.

  Chapter 15

  Anna

  Sitting at the bar at Larry’s, Bar and Grill is actually a pleasant experience now that Alice is gone. Most of the booths are full, which is great because Quinn can use every spare penny she can come up with to help her finance the wedding.

  Since I was here last, Tyler has moved up from fry cook to bartender. Brock misses him in the kitchen, but Tyler has been smiling all evening, and the customers really seem to enjoy him waiting on them.

  “You want another drink, Anna?” Tyler asks as he wipes down the counter next to me.

  I stare down at the nearly empty glass in front of me, seeing I only have a few good drinks left. “Yes, please. It’s delicious.”

  Tyler grins. “I might have to cut you off soon.”

  “Why?” I ask, completely confused. “I love this fruity Sex on the Bay.”

  “You mean, Sex on the Beach?” My mistake earns a little chuckle from him. “You’re getting lit. You’ve definitely reached your cutoff point. Andy will have my ass if I allow you to get too drunk, sitting out here.”

  “Andy won’t care. I’m a paying customer now.” I wave him off and accidentally knock over my glass. I grimace when I see the
mess I just made. “Oops. Sorry.”

  I attempt to reach for the glass, but Tyler is much quicker to grab it.

  He then blots up the spilled liquid. “I think we should hold off on that last drink and maybe try some food.”

  I sigh, completely deflated that I’m not getting another drink. “Okay. I’ll take a hamburger.”

  “You got it.” Tyler works on punching my order into the computer.

  I glance over to Quinn, who is busy flirting with Brock through the window where the orders are sitting, waiting to be picked up by the servers.

  They are adorable together, really in love, and if it weren’t for worrying about embarrassing Quinn in front of a roomful of customers, I would call them out for being so darn cute.

  Quinn notices me watching the two of them and quirks an eyebrow before she stops beside the bar. “Hey there, cuz. Looks like you’re in a better mood.”

  “I am.” I grin and then reach for my glass. My bottom lip pokes out a bit when I realize it’s empty. “There might be something to this drinking thing. I can’t stop smiling.”

  She turns to Tyler. “How many have you given her?”

  He flings a dish towel over his shoulder and then runs his hand through his thick blond hair. “She just finished her sixth.”

  “Six? Damn it, Tyler. I said loosen her up a bit, not fuck her up. She won’t be able to walk out of here if you give her any more.”

  Tyler defensively holds his hands up. “Hey, that’s only two drinks an hour. I think I’ve paced her pretty well.”

  “That’s an acceptable pace for someone who’s used to drinking.” Quinn sighs. “Anna doesn’t drink. Last time I took her out, two drinks had her feeling pretty good.”

  “Hey,” I interrupt before a hiccup slips out. “I think I’m doing fine. I only had one little accident when I knocked over that glass.”

  Quinn pats my arm. “I know, but you haven’t tried to stand up in a while, and when you do, all the liquor is going to hit you. I want you to sit here for the next thirty minutes while I finish my shift, and then we’ll go home.”

  I raise my hand and flick my thumb up. “You got it. I’ll stay right here.”